Goloh Reviews

The Crown (2016–2023)

In retrospect

[9/10 · 5 May 2024]

When Season 6 first aired, it was almost universally (and immediately) trashed by viewers who said the events it portrayed bore no resemblance to what actually happened or was said. Several of these comments came from semi-insiders who claimed "to know".

But ordinary complete outsiders like me will never know the truth, and the only reason I rated this series a 9 instead of 10 was that the production values, settings, and acting from literally everyone through all six seasons was so good that these variables all made the apparently sometimes-fictionalized story that much more convincing. How easy it would be to believe without doubt that Diana had answered Dodi as the series says she did?

No point in elaborating more on the thousand reviews before mine. It was a brave, comprehensive and excellent series.

Naked and Afraid: The Devil's Woods (2021) Season 12, Episode 3

One of the roughest

[8/10 · 28 April 2024]

"Roughest" everything: episodes, conditions, teams, and then one of the most unbalanced participants in the four or five dozen Naked &Afraid shows I've seen so far. But because it's reality TV, we can't know what got cut out or what happened behind the scenes.

Another reviewer questioned the veracity of Sam's story. As I understand it, all participants are thoroughly vetted before going onto the show. So there's that. And kudos to Joe for hanging in there. It would be particularly tough to need to make a decision at the beginning of the challenge to accept continuing abuse just for the purpose of not tapping.

Travel Guides (2017– )

Polarizing, for sure

[9/10 · 23 April 2024]

It's not hard to understand why views about this series are so extreme, but since when has Reality TV been "real"? Scripted or not, it's definitely edited, and -- for the record -- I'm not Australian but I don't think the series reflects badly on Australians at all. It's often funny, and definitely shows many aspects of wherever they go.

Over the years they mix up the groups from time to time, which is good, because some of the participants are becoming a bit jaded after having been literally everywhere. And I have no sympathy for someone who downgrades a trip because they didn't like the food or said the bed was too hard or you had to drive yourselves. Tough: you signed up for this.

But overall, a terrific concept, well-executed and (in many cases) saves me the time and money of trying to go to those places myself. Love the show.

Sex Education (2019–2023)

All Wrapped Up

[8/10 · 1 February 2024]

Watched all four seasons -- despite the recommendation of so many reviewers -- but I get why many were disappointed in the fourth batch. What had started as a light-hearted, over-the-top comedy morphed into a really serious and often sad soap opera.

But here's the thing: these kids were meant to be evolving and hopefully maturing; growing out or at least moving away from those undisciplined times and somehow learning how to live in the real world. At times this show was just a parody and as it became overly moralistic it did begin to lose me. But my rating is based on the show's overall impact, the acting, the settings, and that the writers did what I think was a decent job of wrapping up most of the important story lines.

So, no, Season 4 did not spoil the series for me, and I enjoyed seeing what happened.

No One Will Save You (2023)

At least I saw it through to the end

[3/10 · 21 January 2024]

This film earns its three stars from me for the artistic merit, notwithstanding incredibly derivative images of aliens who looked like so many films and TV shows from before. Maybe one planet is just feeding us these creatures in an endless loop.

The remaining seven stars got deducted due to the dog's lunch of a story and the overriding affectation of a film with no dialogue. Because I had downloaded this, at some point I was able to speed it up to 40% faster than normal, and am certain I missed nothing because of that. The subtitles became hilarious because all they could do was repetitively offer "grunts", "chittering," "groans", and so on.

Sorry, I see many people reviewed this as the great new wave of science fiction/horror but I found it tedious and generally annoying.

Triangle of Sadness (2022)

Funny Peculiar, Not Funny Ha Ha

[4/10 · 16 October 2023]

This is a comedy like Dante's Divine Comedy is a comedy. Actually there are some similarities, but Dante's work is timeless while this film should fade away quickly.

It's not entirely bad. The cinematography shines and the set construction is impressive no matter where they are. But this film just goes on and on and ON, like this review requiring 600 characters, and why someone didn't stand up to the director and shout "enough!" for some of the protracted scenes is beyond me. Other reviewers made the point clearly that the film is at least 30 minutes too long and as much as I wanted to see how it turned out, I couldn't wait for it to end.

Wood and Water (2021)

Incredibly slow and not poignant at all

[2/10 · 26 March 2023]

With only one other review so far as a benchmark, I can't let that highly positive rating go unchallenged. This film bears no resemblance whatsoever to Lost in Translation, is sooooooooo painfully slow and repetitive, and though it touches on the 2019-2020 protests, these have nothing at all to do with the story.

It's interesting to know that the star and several characters were related or known to the director, but this also added nothing. The lady's son never shows up, her encounters with the supporting actors are superficial, and at no time apart from not being able to enter her son's flat at first is she ever in any apparent distress, or for that matter show any emotion at all.

The first 30 minutes, in Germany, were punctuated by long, moody shots of nature, and if reminiscing about her old house was meant to set some sort of tone, I missed the point altogether.

Let me not be uniformly negative: I live in the district where this was filmed, and many of the location shots were realistic. But these didn't save the film. For intuitive reasons we haven't had any mainstream films zeroing in on the protest period here yet -- and they will never appear here even if they are made -- but this film unfortunately doesn't come close.

Don't Look Up (2021)

Don't miss the end credits

[9/10 · 29 August 2022]

You might need to dredge your memory of old films, but "Don't Look Up" is as if "Mars Attacks" met "Network" and hooked up. That's a compliment. In today's context, the sad thing is that quite a few people who see this film won't understand it to be satire. Most of the zingers hit their marks with more precision than some of those efforts to hit the comet, but despite the slightly-too-long length of the movie, it held my interest while I waited to see what might happen.

No spoilers here: to this great film's credit, there's really no way to know until the very end. Good production values, a bit of wooden line delivery here and there, but a solid and timely watch. One more thing, I don't think that featured song will be in Oscar contention anytime soon.

Escape to the Chateau (2016–2022)

One thing brings it down

[7/10 · 12 December 2021]

Where I live, Season 2 has just come on air, and we're part way through it. The family, the kids, the in-laws, the vendors, the chateau itself ... all most endearing, and fun to watch how they think something is done and then three more crop up. I loved watching them explore the moat.

But as other reviewers also mentioned, this whole premise that they "have no money" and are "saving money by doing everything themselves" (which may be partly true) is wearing thin when each programme also stresses how expensive the materials are. Not to mention how much the contractors and builders must cost -- even if they are relatives.

Yes, I look forward to see how they turn this into a fabulous money-spinner, but at least at this point in the series they are definitely not doing it without help that never gets acknowledged.

Mosquito State (2020)

What??

[3/10 · 3 September 2021]

OK then ... one star for the somewhat unusual idea. One star for the terrific cinematography. And one star for this film's ability to hold me until the end, to see what the outcome might be. Tempting as it is to take away that last star, I'll leave it there, But rarely do I agree with nearly all the other reviewers like I do now. If there were allegories or metaphors or allusions or anything else instructive here, I missed it completely.

Air Crash Investigation (2016– )

Not for the Squeamish

[8/10 · 16 August 2021]

One of our more obscure local TV stations scatters episodes of this series into different time slots. It's not easy to know when they will pop up, but I'm hooked. The typical show is purely documentary, using real survivors (if there were any) or re-enactments of key individuals -- pilots, cabin crew, investigators, controllers -- in actual air crashes or incidents.

The format is always the same: fairly quick lead-up to crash re-creation, showing the context, then a sometimes exhaustive explanation of what caused the problem. Implications for the aviation industry are always made clear, and subsequent corrective actions.

Actually I want to give this a "10" but it can be painful to sit through these horrific crashes week after week, knowing that at some point I might actually be in an airplane again. Yet the shows are interesting and instructive, and I'll keep watching -- though it would be better if there were no more crashes to examine.

The Prom (2020)

Glee on Steroids

[3/10 · 20 May 2021]

Let's say, hypothetically, you removed the three or four of the most interesting characters from Glee, then strung three episodes together in one plot arc. If that sounds good to you, you should love this film. Or, if you're much *much* older, if you miss the Andy Hardy films and would like to see Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland team up with -- again hypothetically -- Liza Minnelli and yell "Let's have a party!!", you're good to go, with The Prom.

What on earth happened here? It sounds like I'm throwing shade at anyone who liked the film, but not so. The production values are OK, it's all glossy and predictable and light (even when it's not happy, it manages to be light anyway), and wow was I glad when it finally finished.

Socrates (2018)

What a life

[7/10 · 6 April 2021]

Socrates, a good-hearted boy being pushed into manhood the hard way, lurches from crisis to crisis. Then this fairly short film ends.

There was room to tell us more, even while we can probably guess the back-story involving his father. The cinematography is brilliant, and the English sub-titles were precise and colloquial, so that was a big help. Not too unusually for Brazilian films, "Socrates" gives us the feeling of being right there, almost as if it were a documentary. I understand this was a project involving young filmmakers and they should be commended -- it's strong, and would only have been made stronger by filling in bits and pieces of the story.

The Father (I) (2020)

Heavy Viewing

[9/10 · 3 April 2021]

My mother suffered from dementia for her final years. The outsider looking into her life, her behaviour, would have seen something like what this movie portrays. What sets this film apart, of course, is that we never -- not ever -- could know what was going on inside my mother's head, while the film imagines it brilliantly.

At first, it seemed as if this would be *just another* cinematic effort to deal with this awful illness, and there have been so many. But I don't remember any one of them triggering such empathy. Wow. And full marks too, to all carers, whether within the family or professionals. Really a very, very moving film experience.

Relaxer (2018)

Unique is one word for it

[2/10 · 24 March 2021]

This film gets two stars instead of just one from me because I sat through all of it to see how it would (could?) end. Otherwise my singular thought, when it finally did finish, was to regret not knowing where I first heard of it so I could ignore their recommendations forever into the future. Sorry if this offends anyone who enjoys "unique" films but I used to think I did too. Until this one.

Little Joe (2019)

Just Imagine

[2/10 · 7 March 2021]

Imagine your friends inviting you for an "exciting afternoon out", and finding yourself in an auditorium sitting through a lecture on molecular biology when your own field of interest is (for example) art history. Imagine this two-hour lecture seems like five hours and is punctuated by microphone feedback, bongo drums, barking dogs, and koto music. Imagine your relief when you can finally leave. There, I have saved you the time of watching this film.

To be fair, the cinematography aspect was well done: clear, crisp, minimalist settings with not a trace of humanity about them. That's about it. So: sorry, watch Invasion of the Body Snatchers again and appreciate hpw well the story was done the first time.

Accused (2010–2012)

Hard work!

[10/10 · 9 December 2020]

It took a long time for this series to reach where I live, thus the late review. The writing, the acting, the settings, the cinematography ... absolutely brilliant. And (not "but") it is sooo hard to watch. Why is that? It's nearly impossible to guess before the very end how any trial will turn out, though you will have spent the previous hour trying. As other reviewers have noted, this is not light viewing, really. But well worth the effort.

The Translators (2019)

Hard work!

[7/10 · 28 October 2020]

This cerebral and complex film is not the sort of movie you can dip in and out of while you're thinking of something else. The good news is that the essentials of the plot and virtually all the characters are clearly introduced up front. The other news is that it becomes hard work to sort out the teasers, false leads, and almost Aristotelian logic on the way to a wonderfully constructed conclusion. I appreciate films that manage to tie up every loose end, and this one sure did.

Apart from giving great credit to the work translators must endure, the writers managed an intricate, multi-lingual wordplay at one point that -- to me anyway -- was the highlight of the film. So why only seven stars? Because honestly this film was hard for me to follow, but I can easily understand why others might rate it higher.

Twilight's Kiss (2019)

Thoughtful and thought-provoking

[9/10 · 26 October 2020]

This is a wonderful film. Anyone looking for action and high drama can go elsewhere. The (relatively) slow pacing is entirely in line with the personalities of the lead characters, and even the younger family members -- who always seem to be right on the edge of knowing more than they want to know -- are perfect for their roles.

The Alpha Male in this couple (Pak) maintains one of the most understated and quietly confident demeanors I can recall in any film from recent years. It's not really a spoiler to say that he faces a challenge towards the end of the film that forces him to evaluate quite a bit about himself. His partner, Hoi, seems to have had more "life experience" (can I say it that way?) and they complement each other brilliantly.

At the risk of saying something that might actually be a spoiler, I was honestly relieved that a storyline featuring two older men didn't wind up with one of them dying. Too many films take the easy way out and do that. So ... time very well spent watching this impressive entry. One more note: the English subtitles on the DVD I was watching were excellent and, as far as I could tell, caught the Cantonese innuendoes and references pretty well.

Three Husbands (2018)

"Fruit" Chan Indeed!

[5/10 · 1 September 2019]

Seven wins and 11 nominations? That headline might have been rewritten as "most creative ways to have sex". I think I've seen most if not all of Fruit Chan's other films, and while he is undoubtedly a famous, talented, and creative director, this effort was really over the top. I'm not so certain Mui was really enjoying her work, but am certain I will never look at a prosthetic arm, an eel, or a papaya in the same way ever again. Somehow this lurched from one event to the next, but I will say it captured Aberdeen and Tai O's raunchy flavours neatly. The subtitles were absolutely brilliant and captured the vernacular perfectly.

How It Ends (2018)

You're all correct

[4/10 · 27 October 2018]

It's so tempting to start this review, say a few words, and then

(Yes, that's exactly the feeling about the ending.) The film itself until then isn't *that* bad but gave me the feeling I was watching an episode of The Walking Dead without the zombies. The protagonist even looks like Rick.

It's easy to understand why nobody would know what happened, if nearly all communications went down and it was still so soon, but less easy to figure out why so many turned so evil so quickly. The rating of 5 might have been a 6 or 7 if they had bothered to sort all this out.

Do Kaliyaan (1968)

My First Time

[10/10 · 19 October 2017]

This review will be fun for me, if not for you, so please indulge me. Like so many Indian films, it could go on and on ...

Do Kaliyaan was the first Indian film I had ever seen, back in 1968. No, I've not seen it again since then, but it left such a huge impression. I was freshly relocated to Kenya, which had a substantial Indian community and therefore a good supply of Indian films. My friends wanted to try something "new", so we went to the cinema.

Wow! What an assault on the senses, in all ways. For one thing, the colours -- apparently all primary. The running time -- endless. The music, the songs, the dancing, at seemingly random intervals. The plot line -- all possible emotions one after another. Kids. More music. Being real about it, from my distant memory of this film, I thought it would *never* end.

But I came to knew and appreciate a certain formula for Indian cinema, and up to this day, somehow I compare every film from there in my head with Do Kaliyaan, and if it were possible, yes, I would definitely watch it again.

Thanks for reading!

Dangal (2016)

Modern Story, Classic Style

[6/10 · 20 September 2017]

The "spoiler alert" is here only because I wouldn't know how to write without it. As this film is based on a true story, plot development (for this review, anyway) is probably less important than how the film was made.

Think of the prototypical template for classical Indian films: background, despair, tragedy, redemption, and lonnngg -- with lots of music and some dancing to lighten the load. There you have it. Production values in Dangal are high, and acting from all sides is terrific, right down to the snarky behaviour of the Scottish wrestler near the end. All we missed in this rags-to-riches tour-de-force of athletic accomplishment were a small child dancing around a tree and then getting hit by a train.

If I could have changed anything, it would have been to tighten the editing and reduce running time by about 30 minutes, though most Indian viewers would probably disagree. I also would have given Babita a bit more of her due, since the film opens with Geeta and Babita apparently equal in skill and circumstance. Those musical interludes for me (as a non-Indian) got in the way after awhile. The national coach was also made out to be something of a loose cannon.

But here in Hong Kong, Dangal has generated an unusual amount of interest for a foreign film, and an Indian one to boot. The moral of the story--father knows best--will not be lost on local families.

My last words: excellent film, probably an 8 or 9 if only it had a shorter, tighter running time.

The Last Man on Earth (2015–2018)

Could this show be any more polarizing?

[8/10 · 24 January 2017]

The reviews here are as much fun as the show itself. Folks, really. Since when do all TV shows need to be literal, realistic, or logical? This is a low-budget entry that--according to some reports I read--wasn't supposed to make it past Season One. Yet here it still is, with an ensemble cast that ebbs and flows with story arcs as brief as five minutes (and if you didn't catch the connection to Mad Men, it's worth the search).

I'll grant anyone that some of the characters are written to make them look other-worldly stupid, but it's clever and impressive how the writers can pull them briefly back into sanity for just long enough to make a point before letting them loose again. One episode, when Tandy and Lewis did their road trip, proved this: it's not a spoiler to say that Tandy was very, very human near the end of that.

It's a good show for binge-watching. I don't think it's got enough in the premise to keep it going indefinitely, but if they could use, say, Season Four to find a good way to wrap it up, that would be satisfying. High art? No. But unusual, watchable, and I'm glad to have somehow found it.

Hong Kong Affair (1958)

Fun if you live in Hong Kong

[6/10 · 12 January 2016]

Am I really the first to review a movie made in 1958? Well, here's the disclaimer: I live in Hong Kong, so my impression of the film is coloured strongly by that. I've been trying to find a copy of this for more than ten years. Finally it appeared. Well worth the wait for one special reason: as opening credits state, it was filmed entirely here. Not bad at all for Hollywood in that era, and therefore impossible not to compare with its closest peer by age, "The World of Suzie Wong".

"Hong Kong Affair" (sometimes known as "Hong Kong Incident") is a silly little film based on a business partnership gone bad, and the consequences of that. What else sets this film apart are the frequent uses of exterior location shots in rural areas, mostly Fanling in the northern New Territories. The acting -- meh -- and it's no spoiler to smile at the ease with which the hero seems to fall for every local lady he meets. If you ever saw Suzie Wong, you might remember when Lomax (William Holden) first saw Suzie on the Star Ferry. HK Affair has an almost identical scene, on the street. The movie makers need to find ways to get the hero's social life in order quickly, I guess.

In any event, this one races to a suitable conclusion and if you are lucky enough ever to see this film, you'll have a good feel for what Hong Kong was like in the late 50s.