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Leatherface911
Reviews
Ôdishon (1999)
As overrated a film as I have ever seen.....
I thought the Guinea Pig films were overrated. I still feel that way, but at least among all the boring nonsense, there's some good blood and guts. Not that I get tingly from blood and guts, but honestly, why else would you watch the Guinea Pig films? Now I've read many reviews, hailing Audition as the greatest horror movie ever, and the most disturbing film ever and yadda yadda yadda.
So as I sat through an hour and a half of confusing dialog at a snails pace, I was thinking, "well at least the climax will be shocking/disturbing/bloody/whatever." Bloody? Yes. Disturbing? Shocking? No. Compared to run of the mill Hollywood schlock, yeah, sure, it was pretty grisly, but the "most disturbing picture ever"? Hardly. I could name a dozen films off the top of my head more disturbing than Audition. Nekromantik, Cannibal Holocaust, anything Fulci has ever done. Sh*t, even the Hills Have Eyes REMAKES left me a little unsettled. Audition? Not even a little. It left me with the feeling "Thank God that's over. Am I retarded or something for not liking this crap?" If you want to see what all the fuss is about, go ahead and watch this film; I mean it's not terrible. Just don't expect it to be anything special. Not the most disturbing, not the best horror movie ever, pretty much "not terrible" is the best critique I can give this movie.
Guinea Pig: Ginî piggu - Akuma no jikken (1985)
this film sucks...
Not that I tinkle myself with glee at the sight of realistic blood shed, but when I put a DVD in expecting a bloodbath, and what I get is one bloody scene (the eyeball) at the tail end of asinine fake slapping, and spinning in a desk chair, I end up thinking "well that's 43 minutes of my life gone forever." I wouldn't considers this or Flower of Flesh and Blood "movies" so much as an exercise of will; to see if you can sit through them. Flower of Flesh and Blood had a few tough spots to watch. The Devil's Experiment did not. It was at best, stupid, and at worst...well...really stupid. Perhaps my expectation were too high. I put the DVD thinking "oh man, this is gonna be sick." After watching them fake slap the girl about a thousand times, I was watching it in fast forward.
Two kinds of people would be interested in this film. 1) People who seek out F'd up films just to see how F'd up it really is, or 2) horror completest. I sought this and the other Guinea Pig films for the latter reason, but even if I fell into the category of the former, this film wouldn't float my boat. As a matter of fact, I could imagine this film increasing one's blood lust...as in "WOULD YOU JUST KILL THE B*TCH ALREADY!!" So in conclusion, the only reason to own this film is for collection purposes. If you want carnage that traditional horror doesn't provide, get Traces of Death. Sure, that sucks too, but at least you'll get the blood and guts you expect.
The only reason I can see for anyone praising this crap is because they feel they're supposed to. No artistic merit that I can comprehend, no reason for it's notoriety, no nothing. Just a lame attempt to be shocking.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck....
Anyone who watched this film and didn't like it shouldn't have watched it in the first place.
Ronny Yu or whomever came up with the concept had no intention on making Gone With The Wind, or even Halloween. They had the intention on making a bloody, action packed, meat and potatoes slasher. And I venture to say they succeeded.
Now it doesn't take a lot for me to enjoy a slasher movie. Coherent plot, plenty of blood and guts, and I'm set. Pretentious amateur Roger Ebert I am not.
And this film delivers exactly what anyone who watched it should have wanted or expected.
If you like to concern yourself with tiny plot holes, and not-Oscar caliber acting, don't bother watching Freddy v. Jason. If you're interested in a bloodbath between 2 slasher icons, as you should be if you even bother picking the DVD off the shelf, you got yourself a winner.
And for the love of God, if you don't LOVE the sight of Jason Voorhees ON FIRE, hacking drunk teenagers like he was harvesting crops, don't bother, because that scene alone was worth the price of admission.
The Tooth Fairy (2006)
I've seen worse....but....
...the child actors were annoying. Also it seems as if the makers on this film were struggling to fill 90 minutes. Decent death scenes, though. If not for the death scenes, this movie would have a very Disneyish feel to it.
The main child protagonist didn't seem nearly as scared as she should have been. If I was in the middle of the woods with a tooth fairy ghost killer type individual, you can bet your arse I wouldn't be out wandering around and riding my bike.
Overall, I've seen worse (i.e. It Waits) but it's nothing I would watch again, or recommend anyone bothering with it unless you're an avid horror collector.