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bohemiac1
Reviews
How to Be Very, Very Popular (1955)
Awful. Just awful.
What a horrible mess. 99% of this movie takes place in a handful of small rooms, with the actors just speaking their lines. So boring, it feels like the whole movie was filmed in just a single take. This wouldn't even work as a play. Avoid this horrible experience at all cost. Believe me, it's an hour and a half you would wish you had never lost.
A Boy Called Christmas (2021)
Very creative and beautifully done.
A lovely and well-crafted film. With the usual Hallmark-style holiday drivel running around out there, it's truly wonderful to see something with originality. Don't listen to the naysayers on this site, that are giving it low numbers, they obviously don't possess any of the holiday spirit. Get your family together on the couch, make some hot cocoa and some popcorn, and sit back for a lovely tale, in the style of good old school fantasy, with bits of the modern thrown in for comic relief. The Princess Bride meets Narnia. A pleasant surprise!
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)
Forget it!
Not only one of the worst sequels of all time, but one of the worst movies of all time. I'd say the only sequel that is worse is, The Santa Clause 2. Together, these two pieces of garbage nearly destroyed the wonder of the original film. Don't only skip it whenever you see that it's accidentally on TV, if you run across a CD of it destroy it.
War of the Worlds (2005)
Dumb people making poor decisions
Why did Steven Spielberg think that we would enjoy sitting through this ponderous movie, about a broken dysfunctional family making every possible wrong decision? A huge tentacled machine rises from the earth, be sure to just stand there and stare at it. Then when you finally wake up run away in a lateral direction. What a jet plane crashes into your ex-wife's house don't just get in the car and leave, wander around. when a huge crowd is gathered pushing to squeeze on to a boat, don't avoid it and go somewhere on your own, just crowding with them, to attract as much attention as you can. This movie is one excruciating odyssey through stupidity. As I watched it I felt myself crawling into a fetal position to escape The regularity of the ignorance. The only good part is the cameo from Gene Barry, the star of the 1950s George Pal version, at the very end of the movie. Do yourself a favor, skip the rest and just fast forward to the end.
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Not a Batman movie
WTF? This is a James Bond movie, or maybe Die Hard part 5, but a Batman movie? Nah! In all reality, though cinematically The Dark Knight Rises looks good enough, content-wise it's not really that good. The first hour, though interesting enough for a comic book fan, could simply bore most movie goers, and the following action is patchy at best. Batman barely appears and when he does, he's usually getting his ass kicked. Lots of Bruce Wayne though- feh! One thing that my son and I found was that we really didn't care much about what happened to anyone in the movie. If the world of Gotham was completely destroyed we probably could have cared less. And speaking of Gotham– I have no issue with Christopher Nolan using Manhattan to represent the comic book city, but with all of the computer work in it, do you think they could have done something to make it less New York. The Brooklyn Bridge, and One World Trade Center among other landmarks are seen throughout. Kudos to previous movies where they at least attempted to give Gotham City its own identity. Let's talk characters, Christian Bale is his usual "whatever" self, Tom Hardy is equally uninteresting as Bane, and what's with the lame Sean Connery-like voice?? It's bad enough on its own but the actor appears to be having troubles maintaining the impersonation. It goes in and out constantly. The only shining performance is Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle/Catwoman, well I guess it's Catwoman as her name is never said. She's witty and entertaining. The rest you can trash. on a scale of 1-10 it's a solid 3.5. Bad.
Brighton Beach Memoirs (1986)
The worst accents ever!
Whether the actors are really Jewish or not, these are some of the most forced Brooklyn/Jewish accents in Hollywood history. The way they spread the schmaltz around it's downright unbearable. Blythe Danner in an unbelievably poor piece of casting, lumbers her way through the part of the Jewish mother like a shiksa doing the horah. The mess of bad interpretations is practically racist. It made it impossible for me to stick with it. Oy gevalt! Avoid this piece of work at all cost. On the other hand if the play comes around to your local theater, go see it--there it works! Neil Simon always works best in live theater anyway, Yep, that's it.