Change Your Image
robocopssadside-1
Reviews
Cropsey (2009)
Cropsey (2009)
"Cropsey" is a brilliant, yet unsettling documentary about an age-old campfire urban legend that became horrifyingly real in the 1980's for Staten Island, New York. The legend has different variances: A burn victim from a teenage prank turning into a homicidal campsite stalker (as seen in 80's slasher classic "The Burning"). A former attendant worker at a Staten Island mental institution that returns to the location after its closure, surviving in the woods and underground tunnel systems, snatching up kids in the dead of night. This documentary focuses on the latter myth., and explains how and why it became a harsh reality for residents of an "everybody knows everybody" type town.
While the film raises many questions but provides little answers (mainly because the case displayed in the film is decades old, and was decided on circumstantial evidence), it is done really well and is painfully interesting. Recommended if you are into cold case files and documentaries that deal with things that are unanswered, and will probably remain that way for a very long time, if not forever.
Hatchet II (2010)
Hatchet II (2010)
Picking up immediately after the first film, Marybeth escapes the carnage of Victor Crowley, the ghost of a deformed man that is stuck re-living the night of his death. After learning the truth of her family's past, Marybeth and Reverend Zombie assemble a group of hunters and return to the Louisiana swamps to find the bodies of her Father and Brother; and to lay the legend of the Bayou Butcher to rest.
October 1st, 2010, midnight: I was as giddy as a kid on Christmas. Why? Because I was fortunate enough to see Adam Green's "Hatcher II" at the cinema in unrated form. This was a big deal. It was the first horror film to get an unrated theatrical release since George Romero's Dawn of the Dead back in 1979! Sadly, it only stayed in theaters for roughly two days because our rating system in the US sucks, to put it nicely. After fighting and fighting with the MPAA about his film receiving an NC-17 rating, Green decided to take it straight to AMC theaters; they loved it and agreed to release it in its entire gory glory. This created a huge stir, and it was pulled out before it even had a chance. Thankfully, it can be seen on BluRay and DVD the way it was intended to be seen, but it is still getting the shaft. Redbox is only carrying an R-Rated version, which is missing two full minutes of greatness. In terms of a movie, 2 minutes is a lot of time. Some movies with a more serious tone can involve a brutal rape scene or the murder of a child and go on to win an Oscar; but a movie like "Hatchet II", which is all done in fun, is kicked to the curb. Sad.
So, after watching the Bluray, I still have to admit that this is one of the best slasher-films I have seen in a long time. There is nothing new about it, but it is not hollow like some of the garbage coming out these days. Green's film is an acknowledgment to slasher's of yesteryear. The 1980's were a golden decade for this particular sub-genre, and somewhere along the line, the ambiance from films like "Friday the 13th 2" and the original "My Bloody Valentine" got lost. Three director's I have noticed trying to bring this back (and doing a great job) are Joe Lynch (Wrong Turn2), Ti West (The Roost, House of the Devil), and Adam Green.
While the acting may come off poor to many people, it is what is needed in a film of this ilk. Kane Hodder has to a give a performance that is probably the most emotional in his career (even more so than his role in the first "Hatchet", as the sequel's origin story is significantly expanded); and while it's not award worthy, it's still good to see the guy broaden his range. Hodder has been stuck behind a mask or doing stunts forever; it is awesome that Green gives him bigger opportunities, while still letting him excel familiar areas, as well. Victor Crowley is genuinely one of the most badass killing machines since Kane Hodder graced the hockey mask of Jason Voorhees.
Another genre regular that gets to expand his role from the first film is Tony Todd (Candyman, Final Destination), as Reverend Zombie. More of just a cameo the first time around, here the character takes a lead position. It is a much-exaggerated part, and Todd pulls off the weirdness with perfection.
I love Danielle Harris. I grew up watching her in the earlier "Halloween" sequels, "The Last Boyscout", and in "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead", and she is a real pleasure in person. Having said that, if I had to pick someone out of this film whom does not feel like they are giving it their all, it has to be her. Sometimes she is just a little too much; I feel that it was probably awkward for her to work into the lead role, due to it being played by another actress in the first film. Do not get the wrong idea, she is in no way terrible, and she definitely progresses as the film does; but in other sympathetic roles, I have seen her do better.
As if Hodder, Todd, and Harris were not more than enough to get horror fans excited about "Hatchet II", the film continues to seep out the ends with genre veterans in cameos and supporting roles. It is obvious that everyone involved has a lot of fun working together, and it sets the fact in stone that this series is for the fans, made by a fan.
Robert Pendergraft and Aunt Dolly's Garage provide the creature and make-up FX, and they are completely awesome. It is said that over 120 gallons of fake blood were used (more than double the first film), and I believe it; the stuff is flying far and wide. Every kill trumps the one before it, and they are some of the most imaginative, over-the-top gore sequences in recent memory. This film also has one of the highest body-counts in a single film in slasher movie history, keyword here being "slasher".
For fans of this variety, "Hatchet II" is a necessity. It is like re-living a 5th grade sleepover, where you stayed up late to catch "Jason Lives" on HBO. For me, it provides that feeling to a tee. It has happened before, but hardly ever does a sequel come out that owns the first film in every way. In my opinion, this is one of those seldom moments.
Due Date (2010)
Due Date (2010)
Peter is about to become a Father and needs to make it from Atlanta to Los Angeles. After a mishap on the plane before take-off, he and an eccentric aspiring actor are placed on the no-fly list. With his luggage, money and identification well on its way to California, Peter agrees to travel by rental car with Ethan and his French bulldog. With pit stops for drugs and nonsensical mishaps abound, it becomes a race for Peter to make it to LA in time for the birth of his child. Can he make it? Moreover, is it possible for him to become friends with Ethan? Fans of "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" will probably feel more than fulfilled with Todd Phillips' "Due Date". At face value, it may appear as if the director is basking in the success of "The Hangover" (perhaps he is
"The Hangover 2" is on the way); but do not let the marketing of this film fool you. No misunderstanding, it is full to the brim with jokes relying on crudeness and moments that make one question whether or not they should be laughing, but there is truthfully some strong dramatic efforts layered throughout. The film has plenty of engaging elements to attach you to the characters and situations caringly, so you will not be laughing at their expense the entire time.
Zach Galifianakis really shines in his role as Ethan; it is a part displays the actor's range. He is both lovable and despicable in the same moments; you truly feel that he thinks his actions are genuine. What can you really say about Robert Downey Jr. that has not already been said? When is he NOT in top form? Even in the worst movie possible, he would be a pleasure. His role of Peter proves no exception. There are many moments where he makes choices that are out of line, but at the same time, he is hardly to blame. The enormous differences in these two characters are what make them gel together so perfectly. They are remarkably similar to the roles John Candy and Steve Martin mastered in "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles", but with a weird appeal all their own.
The music soundtrack really defines the atmosphere of the driving scenes, as well. Indie rock and hip-hop (Ice Cube, Band of Horses, Wolfmother) is used successfully to either hilariously liven up a scene or to make one desperately thought provoking. There are some great songs by Cream, Neil Young and Rod Stewart, and "Due Date" contains the best use of Pink Floyd in a film ever, in my opinion.
Do not just pass on this thinking it is strictly a dumb fart comedy, it has a whole lot more going for it. Moreover, if you are hoping it is just a dumb fart comedy, you may be nicely surprised to find out otherwise.
Tangled (2010)
Tangled (2010)
Rapunzel has lived her eighteen years of life in a tall and very isolated tower. Oblivious of the outside world and what waits for her there, only knowing of what she can see from her bedroom window. Before she was born, her Mother fell very ill, but was miraculously cured by a magical flower. These powers were given to Rapunzel at birth, causing her hair to grow to great lengths, capable of doing amazingly impossible things. An evil hag of a woman that was using the flower to preserve her youth maliciously steals the child in the dead of night, leaving her whereabouts unknown. That is until a good-looking thief finds the tower while looking for a place to hide out.
As far as I am concerned, this is a flawless Disney film. The story is stellar, being told with wonderful voice acting and animation so stunning that you will try your best not to blink. The music melodies and lyrics are crafted in a way that makes them feel like some of your most valued favorites from older Disney classics. Years down the road I hope this film will be considered groundbreaking, and hopefully will be held in as high regard as "Snow and the Seven Dwarfs" and "Cinderella".
"Tangled" is the second most expensive film ever; as far as animated films, it IS the most expensive ($260 million!!!), and it truly shows. Disney takes the CGI route for the first time ever to tell a fairytale story, and the characters are honestly as lifelike as anything live-action. The colors are so glowing, lush, and beautiful. The film is really just a 100% effort through and through. I have been blown away by the work of Pixar so many times that it is uncountable, but this is something that truthfully stands on its own.
Consider me floored.
Centurion (2010)
Centurion (2010)
A Roman Centurion joins forces with the Ninth Legion to eradicate a savage group of Celts known as the Picts.
I've always been a fan of "Sword and Sandal" stories, even the really bad Italian knock-off ones (I.e. Lucio Fulci's "Conquest"). I have fond memories of watching Conan and Beastmaster, and even rushing home from school to be on time for He-Man (which I think more than qualifies to be part of said genre). Therefore, I was colored excited after learning the news that director Neil Marshall would be doing a medieval thriller set in 117 A.D. He had already become a favorite of mine after two great horror films (Dog Soldiers and the Descent) and an underrated apocalyptic Sci-Fi flick (Doomsday), so "Centurion" sounded impressive by default. While it is not as epic as I imagined, it still manages to be an extremely fast-paced ninety-minute ride of gory, violent fun.
The entire film is essentially a chase scene. Centurion Dias (Michael Fassbender) escapes Pict imprisonment early on, only to be immediately pursued by them through the icy Scottish mountains and deep forests. It is here where the Ninth Legion (who are on orders from the Governor of Rome to wipe out the Picts) rescues him. A mute woman named Etain (Olga Kurylenko) is hired by the Governor to travel with General Vuirilius and his men as a tracker. Secretly with the Picts, Etain betrays the Legion, leading them into an ambush where all but a handful are unknowingly left alive. From here on, it is a battle for the men to stay alive long enough to make it home to their families.
If not for quick-flash style battle sequences, this film would be strongly hindered by computer-generated blood FX. I am not against CGI, but they are a nuisance when used on a movie with an obviously restrained budget. Luckily, it is a 50/50 mix of computer imagery and traditional makeup gore; and even though the bulk of the action is shown with rapid shots that are gone before you can fully process them, there is plenty of brutality to blow your mind. If I were told to add up the number of dismemberments and impalements in this picture, I would run out of fingers and toes to count with.
Michael Fassbender does an excellent job in his role as the Centurion, and his narration throughout the film is fantastic. He has been popping up all over the place ever since his minor parts in "300" and "Inglourious Basterds", and it is great to see him successfully hold his own in a lead position. For a role with zero dialogue involved, Olga Kurylenko does an amazing job of building her character into something believable. She is cold-blooded, completely filled with hatred, and will stop at nothing to kill every Roman in her sight; though, occurrences in her past make her an almost sympathetic character. Imogen Poots (28 Weeks Later), Dominic West (300), and Liam Cunningham (Dog Soldiers) all also give above par performances in their supporting roles, as well.
So that about sums it up. "Centurion" is not anything new or groundbreaking, but like all of Neil Marshall's past films, it is a lot of fun; and the story is surprisingly solid for a movie that sounds like a no-brainer at face value. It is a definite recommendation for fans of "Pathfinder", "Gladiator", "Red Sonja" and other aforementioned films within the "Sword and Sandal" genre.
Bad Dreams (1988)
Bad Dreams (1988)
Cynthia (Jennifer Rubin, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors) had 13 years of peace and security. Sadly, these years took place while she was in a coma. When she awakens from her long lapse, she is at loss with the world; and simply is not ready for the 80's. She finds herself in a mental hospital with an extremely vivid group of crazies. Quickly, Cynthia tries to convince Dr. Alex Karmen (Bruce Abbott, Re-Animator) that she does not belong there. However, he feels letting her problems out during group sessions will help her prepare from a fresh start. Sorry to say, it does not take long for Harris (Richard Lynch, Invasion U.S.A.), the sadistic organizer of "Unity" to come for Cynthia; and take her to a new light after death.
Now first off, yes. Bad Dreams is a certainly not a unique story; but this is actually a movie that takes from others and succeeds, if not surpasses in creativity. The opening shot is purely an introduction of the cult itself and the suicide. Both aspects will haunt Cynthia for the duration of the film. Harris returns to her for one simple motive, because she survived. He wants her to join them in eternal bliss by killing herself. As long as she refuses to rejoin with "Unity", a mental patient from the hospital will take her place in perfect harmony.
This was the first film director Andrew Fleming (The Craft) tagged under his belt; and the movie has many interesting shots to offer. Flashbacks and old video documentations of the "Unity" cult are shown brilliantly, leaping back and forth from close ups of Harris' face to his brainwashed followers. The flashbacks of him are mixed into video footage of interviews with the sect. Harris' supporters are realistically disturbing casting an emotionless glare in their eyes and so convinced that all they feel is love.
The flashbacks that Cynthia has to undergo are the most unsettling. While in the middle of a group discussion at the hospital (Cynthia, Dr. Karmen and the crazies), she is whisked away back to the cult house, the day of the tragic event. She lives the nightmare twice. All of the group members surround the room doused in gasoline waiting for death. Anticipating what is past the dominion of life as the flames begin to spread over the carpet and hardwood floor. Then the fire attacks. Lovers clench one another as they burn. A father and his two sons hold each other tight as they melt away. Some are screaming in torture, others are crawling across the floor still believing they are headed some place special. In the center of all the carnage stands Harris in flames, taunting Cynthia to come with them. This is one of the most grisly scenes of Bad Dreams, and one of the best.
Between the years 1987 and '88, Jennifer Rubin could not seem to stay away from mental hospitals, nor could she get rid of homicidal maniacs with a massive burn scab for a body. First, she did Elm Street 3 then this gem. She is no stranger to the horror genre, yet her performance ends up being only decent. Cynthia's character comes off a little hazy; a deeper perception of unstableness with herself, as well as things around her should have been made clearer. Overall, Rubin does enough to get the job done; she just does not stand out. Bruce Abbott plays Dr. Alex Karmen, and you can bet his degree did not come from Miskatonic Medical School. He grows a closer attachment to Cynthia than the rest of his patients; because he knows deep down she does not belong there. Abbott, like Rubin does a well enough job to keep the story sturdy, but nothing to write home about.
Richard Lynch usually plays the villain in films, and he has the ability to do so effectively. Harris is still a different role for him, though. He manages to pull off being evil and menacing with a touch of passive serenity in unison. His appearance also comes in two flavors, regular or burnt to a crisp. That is right; Cynthia is haunted by visions of Harris in before and after the fire aspects. Lynch stands out here, and his significance in the role is one reason the movie succeeds. Dean Cameron (Summer School) plays Ralph, the most intriguing of all the patients. He is blatantly honest, and extremely on edge. When his tension builds, he cuts a whole in his body to release his anger in order to calm down. Anytime Cameron is on screen in Bad Dreams, he steals the show completely. This character alone gives the film a truly uneasy mood.
The makeup FX are handled by Michele Burke (Terror Train, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Interview with the Vampire), and some gory suicide style deaths are presented. The greatest achievement is the makeup job on Richard Lynch, though. Harris makes Freddy Kruger look like a pretty face. He is totally barbecued from head to toe. The little additions throw this film to the top of the gross-out scale, though. His right ear hangs from his head by a tiny thread of skin, teeth burnt brown around the edges, and one of his eyes blinded white. Scorched skin all over his face and skull are slightly peeled and curled up, like burning newspaper around wood in a fireplace. This character is no joke, and Burke did a fantastic job at making him horrendous as possible.
Somehow, Bad Dreams manages to be unique, despite its similarities to Elm Street 3. Ultimately, it ends up being all together different, and refreshing.
Cutting Class (1989)
Cutting Class (1989)
William Carson, a wealthy district attorney decides to take a hunting trip, leaving his lovely daughter, Paula (Jill Schoelen) alone at home. Before going, he leaves her with some rules, such as no boys in the house, no partying, and no cutting class. While out hunting, Mr. Carson takes an arrow to the chest and is left for dead by someone that knew him. Before you know it, teachers and students from Paula's school start turning up missing and some, dead. Could it be the redneck pot smoking custodian, the perverted principal (the excellent Roddy McDowell) who loves catching ass shots, Paula's no brain jock boyfriend, Dwight (Brad Pitt, nice hair *chuckles*), or an old friend of Dwight's who just recently got out of the hospital for being, *dramatic pause* f***ed in the head? This sometimes funny on purpose, sometimes-unintentional 80's horror romp actually had me guessing until the end! It is an assumption of mine that director Rospo Pallenberg had a huge goal of showing many an angle, many a long pause of the lead heroine's butt while making this movie. Not to mention the teasing side nude shots that I have grown to both hate and love. And who better to perform these tasks than Jill Schoelen? She may not be the greatest actress, but definitely nice to look at. The director pretty much flaunts her here. You could easily play a drinking game to Cutting Class where everyone has to take a shot when Jill Schoelen bends over and you would be wasted when this flick is through. There is even one scene where her art teacher has the whole class drawing her, while she is modeling in a body suit either bent over, or standing on her tiptoes trying to grab an apple from a significantly taller boy. Did they really have a class like this in high school? If so, how did I miss it? I would get into the gymnasium scenes, but we would have a Jill Schoelen bending over discussion overload.
The movie is filled to the brim with hilariously bad dialog. So bad that it is utterly enjoyable. Particularly one scene where the custodian tells Paula and Dwight that he's "the custodian of their f***ing destiny"! I had to play that part a few times, and my stomach hurt afterward from laughter. The acting is downright awful. Brad Pitt must have used whiteout on his resume. Sadly, Roddy McDowell only has a few scenes in the flick. Most of them are him drooling at Schoelen, like every other male character in the movie.
Not a huge gore level, but some interesting kill scenes. My favorite is the gym teacher being impaled by a flag while doing body flops on the school trampoline. The aftermath of a cheerleader (who removes her panties before the basketball game) and her boyfriend being murdered under the grandstand is messy. A neat little off screen death with a teacher being melted in a kiln takes place, also.
There is also an enjoyable tool duel at the end with obvious stunt doubles a blazin'.
IT said that Brad Pitt and Jill Schoelen were engaged after starring in the movie together, but split up shortly afterward. Donovan Leitch from the Blob '88 also stars.
Not great, but not bad 80's horror comedy smoke n' joke flick.
Winnebago Man (2009)
Winnebago Man (2009)
*mild spoilers* Ben Steinbauer takes us on journey into the mountains of California in search of an internet cult icon.
In 1988, Jack Rebney was filming a marketing video for Winnebago. It was a two-week shoot in the heat of summer, and the guy just simply goes bananas (if you have never seen it, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSWUWPx2VeQ). While the edited video gets sent off to Winnebago to be used as a sales pitch, a 4-minute VHS outtakes reel is being passed around by crew-members; it eventually ends up in the hands of collectors and is copied an uncountable amount of times. Years later, the internet blows up and gives birth to video sites i.e. Youtube, and Jack Rebney is instantly a viral superstar.
The quest is for Ben to find out how Mr. Rebney, now twenty years older, feels about being dubbed the Winnebago Man, aka The Angriest Man in the World; or to see if he knows of his popularity at all.
Jack Rebney is a person everyone in life has most likely known at one point or another. He is the older man that pulls off being grumpy and charming simultaneously. He is a wizard with profanity, and uses body language that demonstrates his disdain. For many of us, he is the anti-hero we long to be during those times of stress and irritability.
Ben Steinbauer has created something hilarious and moving with "Winnebago Man". His efforts in finding someone that is a legend to some are truly sincere. The deeper this documentary goes into Ben's pursuit, the more you learn about a person that is slightly different from what you would expect. There are a few moments where I felt Ben was prying too much with things involving Rebney's life, but I do not think he was trying to be nosy, just overly enthusiastic. This would be perfect to watch back-to-back with "Best Worst Movie". A high recommendation to fans of comedy documentaries.
Enter the Void (2009)
Enter the Void (2009)
Quite a departure from "Irreversible", Gasper Noe's "Enter the Void" is a complete visual triumph. The story centers around two siblings, Oscar and Linda, which suffered from a traumatic accident when they were children. After this misfortune, they make a pact to never grow apart. Many years later they take up residency in Tokyo; Oscar has became a drug dealer, Linda, a stripper. On one fateful night during a drug deal, Oscar is shot and killed while barricaded in a club bathroom. However, his spirit sticks around, following his friends, enemies and sister through the neon-lit streets and grittiest of alleys and buildings in Tokyo.
"Enter the Void" may be the most visually earth shattering film I have ever seen; and if it is not, it's definitely unlike anything else. It jumps from POV to third person like no other film before it. During the entire 2 ½ + hour runtime, you ARE Oscar. You ARE what he becomes in the afterlife, and for me there wasn't a single dull moment. The subplot is awesome; which involves a Tibetan book about out of body experiences, and it ties in perfectly with everything else going on in the main story.
This sadly will not be for everybody, though it is definitely understandable. For many, it will be entirely too long; and for others, the enormously graphic sexual content and hallucinogenic drug use will be ultimately offensive. It truly pushes the envelope of extreme cinema, and I applaud Gasper Noe for his fantastical efforts.
Peacock (2010)
Peacock (2010)
*mild spoilers*
John, a quirky bank clerk in Peacock, Nebraska prefers to live a life of solitude. Shortly after the passing of his mother, John develops a female split personality named Emma. She is a woman that cooks, cleans, leaves him grocery lists on the refrigerator door, and has every item he needs for work ready in the morning. No one knows the secret that John has until a train derails and comes crashing through his back yard, leaving him unconscious. John, as Emma, awakens to a whole group of confused townsfolk at the scene. However, none of them catches on. They all believe that John and Emma have been carrying on a hush-hush marriage. This, of course, becomes a problem for his private lifestyle, as she gradually becomes a helpful figure in the community.
It is unfortunate that a film with such a performance from Cillian Murphy has largely gone unnoticed. Peacock garnered no theatrical release, not even a film festival run; it went the dreaded way of straight-to-DVD last year. The story bares some resemblances to Hitchcock's classic, "Psycho"; a slow burning movie, but extremely attention grabbing, due to fascinating characters and the wonderment of where it is taking you.
Murphy is nothing short of awesome. Words cannot explain it with justice. When he transforms from John to Emma, it is not as simple as just throwing on a dress, a wig, some makeup and speaking with a higher voice. The two characters are like night and day, and at times, it feels as if you are experiencing performances from two very different people. John is an on edge, 'Crispin Glover-Willard' type character, that seems like at any moment could completely snap, or have a nervous breakdown. Emma, on the other hand, is walking tranquility, and completely kind hearted. She is a character that starts out small, but eventually has John pitted against her in a battle for identity.
The film has a solid supporting cast all around, though, no other character is given anywhere near the depth of John and Emma. Ellen Page plays Maggie, a struggling single mother trying to escape this futureless town, really by any means necessary. Susan Sarandon is Fanny Crill, wife of the town mayor (played by Keith Carradine), and owner of a shelter for young mothers and children. Page and Sarandon stand out the most, aside from Murphy, of course. Bill Pullman plays John's uncaring boss, and I think he may have a total four minutes of screen time. The same goes for Josh Lucas as the sheriff of Peacock.
This is director Michael Landers' full feature debut, and he in addition co-wrote the script. Judging from how well put together this is; he is definitely someone to keep an eye on. While a movie involving split personalities is certainly not new, this one shines with an interesting story and Cillian Murphy truly giving life to a divided character.
Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)
Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)
If you didn't like "Paranormal Activity", you won't like the sequel, either. If you DID like the first film, such as myself, then this still probably won't live up to all of the expectations you may have. It's all the same ...type of scares and shocks, only not as effective. The biggest letdown is that the first film cost the budget of a 3-bedroom house in a common neighborhood; this one was about $2.5 million. However, it is better than it has any right to be, and what saves it from being a lackluster ho-hum prequel is the way the two movies tie together. It works so well, all grounds are covered, and even though it is not quite as freaky, I was still overall pleased.
It has never been hard for me to become frightened over things unseen. I am one of those people that gets the jitters from the house settling, or when my dryer goes off and makes the loud buzzing noise that it ALWAYS makes. If I wake up to the dog barking, or my daughter whimpering in the dead of night, I envision an alien abduction. If my lady wakes me out of sleep because she heard something, I automatically sum it up to a specter, a demon waiting to possess, or even some escaped lunatic who has already been killed a million times. I never think of anything logical; I always categorize it as some supernatural event. It's ridiculous, I know. It's just how I am, it is how I have always been, and this is what keeps me coming back to these types of movies. In a weird obstinate way, I like to be creeped out.
Carrying on, the story in "PA2" takes place just mere months before the first film, and follows Katie's sister, Kristi, and her family. She and her husband (whom has a teenage daughter from a previous marriage) have recently had a baby and moved into a new house. They also have a German shepherd named Abby, who sleeps in the baby's room every night right next to the crib (there is no importance to me bringing this up, other than it reminding me of our dog watching over our daughter). Early on, from a day out, they arrive to their home in complete shambles, almost every room. Immediately thinking it was a break-in, the husband has cameras installed throughout - as well as around the exterior of - the house. Things simmer down for awhile; but just like the first film, the happenings start out small, usually when someone is alone, and ultimately build up to chaos.
As I mentioned, "PA2" is just not as effective as its predecessor is, how it coincides is what makes it enjoyable. The acting is perfect for what it has to be with everyone involved. It is also hardly noticeable that a different director was behind the camera. The way the characters of Micah and Katie from the first movie weave in and out of the story is really smart and eerie. It's eerie because you already know somewhat of their outcome in all of this. For me it was above average, but I am a sucker for mockumentaries. If you are not into that stuff, or if you are someone that just HAS to see what or who the evil is at all times, AVOID.
Alone in the Dark (1982)
these crazy people, I tell ya!
The performances of the patients are made very enjoyable from wonderful actors. Byron (Martin Landau-Ed Wood) and Ronald (Erland van Lidth) work like a wrestling tag team using a two-on-one a** kicking method against their opponents. Byron sets up the victim with vicious and demented religious rambling, while Ronald pulls out a finishing movie (such as a back breaker, in one scene) to ensure final annihilation. This tag team expertise is used more than once in the film, and it really gets more entertaining with each victim.
Landau is the one to watch here, in all honesty. He's appearance is truly frightening, and the wild things he screams out sets the fear in stone. Erland van Lidth also gives a great performance, especially in consideration how uncomfortable his character is. The movie only hints at his pedophile desires, rightfully so; the hints are enough to induce a creepy feeling running down the viewers spine.
Frank Hawkes (Jack Palance- Jess Franco's Marquis De Sade's Justine) is the more refined leader of the pack. His appetite is still wet for blood, however, being a war torn veteran convinced by himself that crazy patients aren't crazy; they're just on vacation.
There's always been something about Donald Pleasance that makes even the worst of his characters charming. As Doctor Bain, captivation is apprehended by just how Unbalanced he is; perhaps just as much as his patients/Voyagers. Nearly every scene he is viewed with either his peace pipe dangling from his lips, or in his hand waiting to be packed and smoked up for real world escape. This performance is highly intriguing from a late and great genre favorite.
The movie is slightly hindered by a twist that could've been more involving, had it not been executed so bluntly. It centers on a forth mental patient that escapes (hiding his appearance with a stolen hockey mask. This movie was released just months after Friday the 13th pt 3, in which Jason Voorhees started his decadent display of goalie gone wrong carnage; so I am not sure which film predates which) and goes Unseen for a large half of the film, until the story drops in an element of Dan's sister being arrested at a nuclear plant protest. First off, when this character is introduced, his face is hardly shown, but it's obvious he's favoring an injury on his forehead. When he reappears after the protest, he suggests that he'd been hit by a cop. This whole subplot is just way too conclusive; but it could've been largely effected with a more delicate approach.
Another thing to look out for is Renato Serio's score, which bares strong resemblance to past slashers, as well as some apparent respect to Goblin; though, on a more generic level in both instances. Even that being the case, the music builds tension for energetic moments, and the opening theme is a keeper! There's not really a gore element, as the film works more off of efficiency with its jolt and jump scares. A lot of the fear comes out of nowhere, or from somewhere other than you expect it to (recalling the moment in a bedroom with a baby-sitter and her boyfriend). This shouldn't deter you away, though; I'm still in bewilderment as to why I never watched this in the past.
Ultimately, Alone in the Dark is an underrated 80's classic. Any strong fan of the Horror genre as a whole should give it at least one viewing. I found it to be a pleasant surprise that came quite a bit before many films I enjoy that have an illusive similarity to it. Director, Jack Sholder went on to direct many works, including another underrated favorite of mine; A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge. Though, this is definitely a different kind of film altogether.
Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings (1993)
Horrid
Well, the dark and eerie atmosphere of Stan Winston's monster/revenge horror blast is long gone. Director Jeff Burr (Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III) takes a once intimidating Alien-esquire looking demon and tosses him under some really bad lighting in outdoor nighttime settings, giving him away way too much; making him look so damn rubbery and corny that The Gil-less Man from The Creature Walks Among Us would laugh his a** off ... for days. The bleakness is gone. The feeling of Unstoppable carnage and revenge that emenates in the first film is made into a hokey crapfest (almost Unworthy of having a drinking game created for it, where every time you see the actor playing Pumpkinhead's f***ing Nikes, you take a swig).
The acting is as plastic as it gets to begin with, and the story does no justice for character development either. The writers had previously done work strictly for television, I'm guessing Public Access. This comes off as a bad TV movie, which would explain why Sci-fi seemed to enjoy playing it frequently in the past. A new girl in town clinging to the local badboy (who is responsible for hospitalizing an elderly lady, and burning down her house. Oh, and stealing a page from her copy of The Book of Shadows, along with a vial of blood needed for a vengeful resurrection) and putting all of her trust in him within a day is highly unlikely; no matter what kind of connection she feels she has with the geek. I was also put off by the attempt at making said local badboy's (J. Trevor Edmund- Return of the Living Dead 3) persona distinctly familiar to the jerk character in the first film. It didn't work here to the same effect, due to the whole film being such a joke.
Perhaps the worst addition here is trying to display Pumpkinhead as a sympathetic character, beneath the surface. This is right away experimented with flash back sequences from a deformed, backwoods kid's past. And the struggle to pull this off is butchered, due to a horrendous finale, in which Pumpkinhead is hinted to be doing friendly deeds; such as returning a toy fire truck that fell in a well to its rightful owner. f***ing ridiculous. Oh, to make things worse, this Pumpkinhead is actually the son of another Pumpkinhead. Yeah, that's right. Thankfully, not much detail is given to this part of the plot. Last thing I need is to see a back story of Pumpkinhead getting his f*** on, taking his girlfriend to Lamaze class, having a baby freak or whatever other s*** they could throw into that whole mess of a story. Though, it could make for a highly viewable sequel, for the worst reasons imaginable.
The sad thing is, the film does contain some moments that could've been parts of a good (or at least passable) sequel. Actually, if you just take out all the sequences that involve the story, you'd be good to go. There are some really elaborate shots (the POV camera work of a shovel digging up Tommy's grave is honestly quite refreshing to uncover through the lot of this mess) and kill scenes here, to be truthful. They are aimed more for a horror romp effect than the deaths in the first film; but from that point-of-view, they are pretty entertaining.
Although I am more than disappointed with Pumpkinhead's appearance here, I am pleased with K.N.B.'s bloodletting. The movie isn't cream filled with nastiness, but there are some fun moments. Seeing the demon rip one victim's head clean off and toss it through the woods is worthy of at least a few hits of the rewind button, I promise.
Andrew Robinson (Hellraiser) could be noted as the film's only saving grace in the acting department; he could've been sleepwalking and gave a better performance than the rest of the cast. But even he's not in top form. His greatest moment would be when he rehearses the famously bad rhyme from the first film, and this is a pretty embarrassing moment, to say the least.
Ami Dolenz is no stranger to the genre. Having previously played in Children of the Night, Witchboard II and Ticks (aka Infested, a Clint Howard guilty pleasure), she has all the right ingredients to be a B-Movie Scream Queen. However, her appearance as Jenny strongly conflicts with the vaguely talked about character's troublesome past. I mean c'mon, she looks goody two shoes as all hell.
There's quite a few familiar faces to take note of, other than the few I've already mentioned. For one, Punky Brewster herself, Soleil Moon Frye. She plays Marcie, part of the town bad-a** crew, and she knows a great deal about witchcraft; because one of these dim wits really NEEDS to be smart enough in the field of witchery to resurrect a dead person; the movie calls for it. She was said to have been instructed to gain 20 pounds for her role in this film. Why this was a necessity or how it has any significance to the film, I'll never know. Kane Hodder plays an incestuous redneck that hosts chicken wars with his brother in their backyard for all the local rednecks. Linea Quigley also shows up for a cameo sex scene, of course. And we are blessed with Roger Clinton, as the town mayor; whom really has no significance what so ever.
Hatchet (2006)
From nowhere rises a fantastic slasher!
For once, the tagline does say it all. "Old School American Horror". That's exactly what Hatchet strives to be and fully succeeds. Take The Burning, Pumpkinhead and a bunch of films from the Friday the 13th franchise (many scenes are extremely close to many different F13 films), put 'em in a mixer and pour yourself a big a** glass of Hatchet. Now, while it in no way adds anything new to the camp-slasher genre, it certainly breathes some life back into it, and it definitely in its short life already warrants fair debate over whether or not it's one of the best of the lot; I think it is.
Adam Green is at the helm as writer and director, and not only is Hatchet a gore fest of epic proportions, it's also got a smart story, likable characters, and uses elements from some faves from the late 70's and 80's. You got the old local drunk (only in Hatchet, he drinks his own p**s) that tries to warn the youngsters, you got more t**s than you can shake a stick at (at least 15 breast flashes in the opening Mardi Gras credits!), a bad a** soundtrack that pays mad honor to the slashers of yesteryear(minus f***ing Marilyn Manson), a horror maven in charge of make up effects and a hell of a lot more. However, this isn't the typical "You do drugs or screw or both and you die" slasher, it's more or less the "You are on my turf, you f***ing die!" slasher.
Don't get to excited about genre cameos, though; they are few and far between. Robert Englund is almost a blink and miss character (he does have some relevance), Tony Todd is kind of embarrassing, John Carl Buechler is the local p**s drinking drunkard, but Kane Hodder is the one that sticks out. Here he plays the roles of Mr. Crowley and bad a** deformed with incredible retard strength, Victor Crowley. Many fans and horror sites are already calling Victor the next horror icon, predicted to be the next Voorhees, Krueger or Myers. I don't really see it. I am all for a sequel to this gem, but it takes a lot to make the status of the unholy three. Make no mistake, though, Hodder gives this disgusting character so much life that it's easily plausible for Victor Crowley to be blessing the horror genre with at least one more insane appearance. It's Kane's best work since Friday the 13th 7: The New Blood.
Many viewers aren't going into this looking for Oscar worthy effectiveness, but acting is above the standard, for the most part. The performances come off as cheesy on purpose, and the comedy is filled to the brim with wit, making any scene lacking carnage just as enjoyable. You get to know most of the members on the haunted boat ride fairly well. Some of them you'll love, while others will have you counting the seconds until they are discarded. Ben (Joel Moore) and Marcus (Deon Richard) are kind of like buddy flick characters, and they work together amazingly. While Ben is the more awkward, geeky type still hung up on an ex girlfriend, Marcus is the exact opposite; he's on the pursuit of partying, naked, if welcomed. This makes for some hilarious moments with the two trying to put one another down throughout the film. Marybeth (Tamara Feldman) is also a great character, she's along for the ride only to search for her missing brother and father (Englund), and she also gives the Victor Crowley back story to the hapless tourists of the trip. You also get a softcore filmmaker (for his own personal enjoyment) who wants his two leading ladies (whom hate each other to the bone) to bless his camera with t** shots any time the environment changes. There's a few more interesting characters to be had, as well. All in all, the personalities in Hatchet are truly more fun than a bag of dicks.
It's great to see John Carl Buechler spreading his bloody disease all across the screen. This is the guy responsible for the thumb through the forehead death in Halloween 4, he's also responsible for make-up duties on Elm Street 4, F13 7, Android, Necronomicon and loads more. In Hatchet, It's gleefully obvious that Buechler and Magical Media Industries Inc. had tons of fun with the bloodletting. There's no mercy shown here, what so ever. One victim alone gets head butted into a tree, has an arm ripped off, slung upside down into a tree and has his spine ripped out by the bare hands of one, Victor Crowley, and this is just a f***ing opening scene. If that doesn't glue you in for the rest of the film, something is wrong. There's also plenty more dismemberment, a nasty segment of a head being ripped open by the mouth, head being busted across a tombstone and a s***load more! Plus, Victor Crowley himself is quite the looker, making ole' Voorhees appear to be a GQ model. His face is that of peanut butter art, strands of hair here and there, a triangulating spine that protrudes outward, and some bitching a** overalls to boot. This is one crazy looking SOB. Not to be missed.
A favorite scene of mine is the back story segment of Victor Crowley. The moment in reference takes place on Halloween, and the seasonal atmosphere is captured with precise class. I'll leave it at that, to keep its freshness intact for readers who haven't witnessed the magic of Hatchet yet, but you'll feel the same way if Halloween is your favorite holiday, like so many of us.
If you are a slasher fan, support this blood fest if it is playing ANYWHERE near you. Buy the DVD upon release. The genre needs more films of this ilk. Many will love, few will have disappointment. Thank you Adam Green and Anchor Bay!