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Reviews
Ballers (2015)
OK if you don't mind stiff acting
This is an HBO show on its second season. The show premise is about a retired and injured football player who decides to be an agent and help other players, in a sense, so they do not end up like he did. There is one thing about TV shows like these that try too hard to authenticate their story. It's when real- life people are hired to perform jobs they are not qualified to do such as acting. Each time a real-life footballer or coach shares the screen with someone like Andy Garcia, you can tell immediately the error of the producers or casting people. It is a huge mistake to put people on a show just because they are the real deal unless they can act. Watching this show can be painful especially for people that do not know about football players but like to watch a fun show. It made me cringe so bad today that I wanted to warn other viewers. I was watching S02-E03 today, and it was the big guy who hurt his Achilles heel that made me stop the show.
The Fall (2013)
Painstakingly slow
What really ground my gears was the lack of resolution by the end of the series. The killer was not caught. There was no closure. Each season should have closure. We got none. So I really disliked this. I feel cheated out of my time. I could have watched something else with a beginning, middle and an actual end, which is kind of important. It is excellent in its foley sound, the cinematography, acting, lighting, directing, I mean an A class type of show. But the storytelling is just way too slow. If you like resolutions in the stories you read or shows you watch, wait until the next series is released, in which I can only hope they will catch the killer. By the time the new series comes along, I will have forgotten what happened in the first one.
Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (2006)
For those who didn't like the movie
This movie is intended only for people whose lives revolve around ROCKIN'. So if you ain't rockin', don't go a-watchin'. Peace. Oh, I have to write 10 lines to be able to post on this site, so here they are. Meat Loaf playin' the dad was right on. Then one one of the GODS of metal, none other than RONNIE JAMES DIO comes out of the poster... right then I knew this film was a winner. My God, the sound of that song was spot on. It could be a DIO song, it was just incredible. And on and on with the Clockwork Orange homage, the awesomely performed song at the beach (Bach, Mozart, etc), the "gratuitous" car chase (we learn in the DVD there was actually a point to having that chase staged the way it was), the incredible Devil solo... so, if these tidbits did not get you excited, this movie was not for you. It's ridiculous to say that whoever liked this movie was watched 5 movies in their lives. I have not watched Anchorman. Although I did love Old School.
Noise (2007)
Painstakingly slow
I like independent movies. I like to see the work of many talented people resulting in a work of art. This piece is one of those. The acting, sound, post, cinematography, story, the entire piece was really good, it is totally worth watching. However, this piece of art tried too hard to suck the audience into its psyche by elongating the scenes to the point of exhaustion. I wonder how many "beats" were in the script. I actually got so bored with the pace of the movie that I decided to get out the ironing board to do something productive with my time while the movie slowly unfolded. So ladies and gents, make sure you bring something to keep you entertained during the unnecessarily long scenes. Chop 15 minutes off the top and you got yourselves a real winner. Still a good little indie.
Dead Meat (2005)
A fun little flick
If you like slasher movies and would like to enjoy a refreshing gore-and-boobies movie, this is for you. From the incredibly creative minds of Phil Cruz and James Hyde comes this witty humorous horror flick. How funnier can you get when you have Ron Jeremy feeding off his own flesh, who staples his arm back to his body after being blown away, and who summons chubby girls to their death by suspending a donut from a tree? Young men with hard peckers, scantly clad cheerleaders, blood and guts. It's raw, it's indie, it's here. Now it is what it is so be aware this is not a made-for-Oscar flick. The best way to enjoy this movie is by gathering a few friends, eating a wide variety of potato chips and knocking back a few cold ones.
Muriel's Wedding (1994)
A movie about nothing?
The story takes you nowhere, really. Is it a movie about love? Is it about revenge? Is it about disdain? Is it about helping a friend with cancer? Is it about sexual escapades? Is it about corruption? Is it about finding your true self? Is it about a lonely fat woman with no self-esteem who believes she will be a better person if she marries? I guess it has to do with the last statement; however, it goes out on a tangent way too many times. The moment the focus is on the story, it manages to sway away again. One thing is certain: the acting was great. It's not a total waste of time, I sat through it till the end, but I would not see this one again or recommend it to my friends.
Adaptation. (2002)
Please don't waste your time with this one
I regret not having rented "The Hot Chick" instead! This movie is terrible, awful, and too long. Actually, it deserved points for good acting and cinematography. But what good does the acting do when the movie's plot and story are so poorly delivered that you don't really care about the ending or the characters? It's pretty dreadful and painful to endure.