sliceoffriedgoldblog Reviews

Amber Alert (2012)

The ratings for this are WAY too harsh.

[6/10 · 6 January 2023]

Three young adults find themselves in a car chase with an Amber Alert car in this shaky found-footage film. This film will make you annoyed with every character encountered, but the story is solid.

During a road trip, two best friends and a brother spot an Amber Alert car after seeing the sign on the highway. Sam, the screaming banshee of a young woman, is convinced this man in the grey honda cruelly abducted a child. Her friend Nate believes it's a custody battle situation. They decide to follow the car "from a safe distance", as advised by a 911 dispatcher.

After the other car pulls over on the side of the road, the three pull over as well and the potential abductor goes up to the driver side window. He comes off like a dude that kept his daughter too long and his ex-wife is trippin'.

They let him go. But they have a microphone in the car. He isn't who he says he is.

The movie has low ratings due to the acting. These are new actors filming a unique storyline, in classic shake found-footage style. Yes - the screaming is annoying. However, realistically, if someone was as passionate as Sam was due to the situation, they might be doing the same. These actors clearly don't have experience with ad lib acting and it shows, but it's realistic enough for me to follow the movie to the end. The most annoying part of this movie to me was actually the police's response and nonchalance with the whole situation.

It's definitely worth a watch to the climax, as you know there is no happy ending ahead.

Rating: Screaming banshees: 2/10 Filming: 7/10 Acting: 5/10 Ending: 8/10 Realism: 7/10 Police: 1/10 Overall rating: 6.5/10.

We Need to Do Something (2021)

We Need to Do Something besides spending 97 minutes watching this movie.

[3/10 · 3 January 2023]

A tornado? Bad storm? Jumanji? Demon dogs? Wait, what?

A family of four gets trapped after what seems to be a bad storm. A fallen tree barricades them into a bathroom and they are waiting for help to come as they slowly run out of food and water. An angry overly-abrasive foul-mouthed father (Pat Healy) and soft-spoken mother (Vinessa Shaw) try to keep their kids safe and alive.

As flashbacks of the daughter (Sierra McCormick) start to reveal this isn't just a normal storm, the family begins to realize they might be safer in their bathroom shelter. The daughter and her girlfriend (Lisette Olivera) reveal to be doing dark rituals. In present time, snakes find their way into the house through a cracked door and noises of a weird creature are heard with gunshots outside.

This movie had the intention of being ambiguous and claustrophobic. I think poor acting and bad decisions on the characters' parts make this miss the mark. I honestly don't believe that they could be this "trapped" in a bathroom, but I suspend my disbelief. It felt like a missed opportunity for a good horror story.

At some point you are annoyed with each of the four characters - the needy whiny son, the nonchalant weak mother, the always angry for no reason father, and the edgy emo daughter. Most times, you're annoyed with all four at once. You don't form an attachment to any of them.

Some gory and gruesome scenes seem downright unnecessary and completely out of place. From a horror-fanatic, that's saying something.

I usually enjoy movies shot in one location - when the acting is good. This wasn't one of those movies.

Rating: Acting: 4/1 Demon tongue for dinner: 2/10 Ending: 1/10 Gut waterfall: 4/10 Puttin on the Ritz: only true redeeming factor/10 Overall rating: 3/10.

Sissy (I) (2022)

Wildly Entertaining Ride

[7/10 · 31 December 2022]

Sissy follows the story of therapeutic social media influencer Cecilia (Aisha Dee). Cecilia has quite the following on social media, and takes pride in her ability to help others find their peace.

Cecilia runs into an old friend, Emma (Hannah Barlow) while shopping and gets invited to her engagement party. Flashbacks show them being best friends throughout childhood, when Cecilia went by the name "Sissy". These start to reveal how the friendship ended coupled with bullying from Emma's other friend, Alex (Emily de Margheriti).

At the engagement party, Emma decides to invite Sissy ("it's CECILIA NOW") to her bachelorette party in a remote cabin the middle of the woods...with bully Alex herself.

The movie brings you through a whirlwind of feelings, from feeling bad for Cecilia as everyone is talking behind her back, to being downright terrified of her. It's a modern take on "what happens when you take the bullying too far". Cecilia has tried desperately to bury her resentment behind meditation and affirmations, but you can tell at any moment she is going to hit her breaking point.

For an Australian indie slasher flick, this is a wildly entertaining ride. It integrates the gen-z influencer persona with bullying and watching someone completely go off the rails. Sissy not-so-subtly addresses mental health issues and the social media generation. The gore visual effects were impressive, and I had to rewind and re-watch a few moments that had my jaw on the floor.

This isn't as iconic as Aussie movies like The Loved Ones or Wolf Creek, but it's pretty damn close.

Rating: Cinematography: 7/10 Acting: 8/10 Score composition: 4/10 Comedy?: 5/10 Car head pop: 11/10 Overall rating: 7/10.

New Year's Evil (1980)

This movie somehow ages both like a banana and fine wine.

[6/10 · 31 December 2022]

Classically so-bad-it's-good early 80's slasher with a holiday theme. There are so few New Year's themed horror movies that this becomes an immediate yearly watch to ring in the New Year.

Diane (Roz Kelly) is a punk-rock television icon is hosting a New Year's countdown and party. She's accepting call-ins and receives a mysterious call from a man deep-throating a voice-changing machine who calls himself "EVIL" and is going to commit "MURDER" to somebody she knows by midnight.

We cut to a mental institution dancing to the classic "New Year's Evil" jam created for the movie. There is a problemattic scene of the portrayal of mental patients, cigarette smoking in the hallways, and champagne in the break room. The 80's were wild.

So - is this telling us that the killer is a psychotic patient? Is it someone Diane knows? GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO WATCH AND FIND OUT.

Something that this does different is you know the face of the killer from the start, you just don't know WHO he is in relation to the main characters. He also doesn't only commit murder at midnight EST, he makes sure to hit it in every other time zone as well.

This movie somehow ages both like a banana and fine wine. It's hilariously over-acted, exaggerated, and downright comical without intending to be.

Plot holes, terrible acting, incongruous writing, and is littered with horror tropes. It's *chef's kiss* exactly what I'm looking for to bring in the New Year time and time again.

Rating: New Year's Evil song: banger/10 Moustache change: 6/10 Priest 'fit change: 7/10 Acting: 3/10 PLOT TWIST: 7/10 Overall rating: 6/10.

Better Watch Out (II) (2016)

Go into this TOTALLY BLIND.

[7/10 · 24 December 2022]

We begin with a classic "kid in love with his babysitter" story. Luke (Levi Miller) is chugging bottles of wine at 12 years old to impress his babysitter, Ashley (Olive DeJonge). He lives in a quiet and safe neighborhood in the suburbs.

The situation turns sour with ominous phone calls, mysterious pizza deliveries, and the threat of intruders in the house. The story revolves around Luke, his best friend Garrett (Ed Oxenbould), and his badass babysitter in this original and disturbing take on a home intruder plot.

The performances from young Olivia DeJonge, Levi Miller, and Ed Oxenbould in this are top notch, and the sound composition is brilliantly done to add to tension and tone. This is a twisted and wild ride that you want to go into totally blind.

Avoid spoilers and reading anything about this movie, because you'll enjoy it SO MUCH MORE. This will be my shortest review, for good reason. Go be as shocked as I was.

Rating: Paint can: 8/10 Hamster: yikes/10 Carolers: 7/10 Acting: 9/10 Plot: 9/10

Overall rating: 7/10.

Slash/Back (2022)

Alien invasions and the Inuit culture.

[4/10 · 22 December 2022]

If I see one more review comparing this movie to The Thing I'm going to swallow a squid and peel my face off.

Director Nyla Innuksuk film debut Slash/Back tells a loose story of an alien invasion in a small Inuit village. A group of girls must band together to defend themselves from an alien attack. They steal one their parents' boats and go off to an island, where they are attacked by a rabid "polar bear". The situation escalates quickly and people start behaving as strangely as the polar bear.

Long story short, chaos ensues and the young girls are on the defense (and the offense at times) of a small alien invasion.

The movie is posed as a horror comedy, but many of the punchlines fall short. It may have had better success if it leaned further into horror than comedy and capitalized on it's practical effects.

Does it have it's moments? Yes. If you go into this expecting spectacular acting, special effects, and a well-rounded ending...you're going to be disappointed. These aren't the Stranger Things kids as much as you want them to be. Just enjoy the way the aliens make their victims look like skin suits and move like braindead zombies.

The importance of this movie lies in the representation of the Inuit culture. This is a widely unrepresented indigenous culture. I felt myself researching the mythological Ijiraq shape-shifter that was mentioned. Innuksuk should be proud of this...and then make a better movie.

Rating: Story and ending: 5/10 Special effects: 4/10 Practical effects: 6/10 Laughs: 1/10 Chemistry of the cast 6/10 Alien skin suits: 8/10 Polar bear alien: 8/10 Bonus points for culture: 10/10 Overall: 4.5/10.

The Mandela Effect (2019)

Still convinced Sinbad was a genie in Shazaam.

[5/10 · 22 December 2022]

The Mandela Effect is a phenomena in which a group of people misremember an event or detail that never happened. The term was coined when many people believed Nelson Mandela died in prison in the 80s (Broom, 2022). He didn't die until 2013. It's spelled "Febreze", not "Febreeze". It was never called "Looney Toons", it was always "Looney Tunes".

Want more examples? Watch the movie! Or do a quick google search. Either one works. This movie isn't as interesting as the Mandela Effect in itself.

This movie is about a man that becomes obsessed with this phenomena after the loss of his daughter. He spirals, digs deep into internet searches, and starts believing in a parallel universe. Him and his wife are unsure if they are going crazy or if there is a parallel universe out there.

What this film does well is capture grief of parents after the loss of a child. What it doesn't do well is sound mixing. The levels are off, and you need to turn the volume all the way up during a conversation for it to give you a heart attack at the decibel level when it switches to the next scene.

This movie will make you think, and maybe google some Mandela Effect conspiracy theories. I think physics and sci-fi nerds that don't care for good acting will like this one. There's only 5 critic reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, so don't let that score deter you. It's a solid enough indie film to give it a go, just be careful with your volume.

Rating: Story: 5/10 Visual effects: 6/10 Acting: 4/10 Ending: weird/10 Sound mixing causing personal injury to my ears: 1/10 Face melting into code scene: 8/10 Overall rating: 5.0/10.

Demon House (2019)

111 minutes of torture, and not in a fun way.

[1/10 · 22 December 2022]

I would like to preface this by saying I did not watch Ghost Adventures (my Dad did) and I did not have a strong prior opinion of Zak Bagans (my dad definitely did). After sitting and (I can't believe I watched this whole thing) and being tortured for 111 minutes by this "documentary", I have no desire to ever watch an episode. Just the sound of this man's voice puts me in a sour mood.

I had moderately high expectations going into this. I'm a sucker for documentaries, and ones like this can be done well. There is not one redeeming quality about Demon House.

Zak Bagans decides to purchase a supposedly demon-haunted house in Indiana, known as the Ammons House. Him and his crew are investigating events that occured in the house and interviewing previous owners. This documentary possesses the worst qualities that some can have: goofy reenactments, overacting cast members, clearly staged materials, the need for constant ominous comments, and people paid to provide information. Literally, a squatter is shown on film being paid to tell Bagans his "ghost stories".

Zak Bagans doing his best to look like a douche in every single scene.

Zak may be the most unlikable host and documentary narrator I've encountered. He is an untrustworthy storyteller and exaggerator. He takes advantage of a poor community and pays people to provide them with evidence surrounding demon possession in the house. He also takes the opportunity to exploit a suicide attempt. What a stand-up guy!

This is a pathetic attempt at documentary filmmaking. This movie tries to convince you that a black blob caught on video in the shape of a hand was a ghost. There was opportunity to increase validity by introducing real experts, doctors, and skeptics. All illnesses claimed during the movie are not verified. Reverend Maginot, the "exorcism priest", has organ failure after exploring the house. He's old. There aren't any obituaries for him that I found. He's fine. Dude is also a liar.

Oh, and the house is riddled in toxic black mold. Carbon monoxide leaking out of the furnace. Mold and carbon monoxide can easily cause hallucinations and illnesses.

If you go into this, maybe make it a drinking game. Treat it like a mockumentary and an opportunity to make fun of Zak.

Rating: Zak Bagans: 0/10 Paid witnesses: 1/10 Film style: 2/10 Goat reenactment: 2/10 Zak Bagans' voice: 0/10 Overall rating: 1/10.

Autopsy (1975)

A deliberately chaotic but classic giallo.

[6/10 · 22 December 2022]

TW: Suicide, Violence Against Children, Animal Abuse, Attempted Rape

In true giallo fashion, the first two minutes of Autopsy contains graphic depictions of suicide and a murder suicide containing two small children. It's brutal, shocking, and bold.

Some history for the giallo newbies. Giallo (gee-ah-low, which I affectionately pronounce as "jello"), the Italian word for "yellow", was named " because of thriller novels which were distributed in the 1950s and marked by their yellow pages" (Wilhelmi, 2020). Giallo is an Italian horror subgenre. Common themes are social commentary, sex, mental illness, fetishism, bloody violence, bright colors, and brutal crimes. These films are traditionally gritty, gaudy, and bold. Some notables are Tenebrae (1982), Suspiria (1977), and Deep Red (1975). Dario Argento is said to be the king of Italian Horror, and he directed all three of the previous movies mentioned.

The story begins with a young autopsy doctor in Rome writing her thesis on suicides begins having vivid visions of the dead bodies in the morgue. They're coming to life, walking around, screaming, and banging each other.

Honestly, it's a strong start to a movie and a way to draw you right in.

There's a pattern of suicides in the area with no known cause. Out of nowhere, a (completely unhinged and sus) priest walked in to the morgue to tell everyone the most recent victim, his sister, wasn't a suicide. Cue the D R A M A. Unhinged priest is convinced the deaths are linked to the doctors father until he too jumps off a building. Yikes. All signs start pointing to the priest. From there, it's a downward spiral to the finale.

Go into this movie anticipating the 70's and suspend your disbelief because it's one hell of a weird and confusing ride. It's deliberately chaotic and feels like a fever dream. I will say, the scene with a dog being whipped with a belt was and always will be completely unnecessary. The fork stabbing after the rape attempt though? Totally necessary.

Rating: Story: 6/10 Practical effects: 9/10 Acting: 7/10 Fork stabbing after rape attempt: 7/10 Dog whipping: 0/10 Ending: 8/10 Overall rating: 6/10.

Apartment 407 (2016)

Based on a true story acted by the survivor?

[6/10 · 22 December 2022]

TW: Rape, Sex Trafficking

This is a hard watch. Frida Farrell lived a traumatic experience, and I can't imagine how she ACTED through her experience all over again. In this film based on personal true events, Frida plays Isobel. Isobel is a single mother who gets approached by a charismatic man in a coffee shop, and offered $7,000 for a short photoshoot. After getting his card and speaking with her boyfriend, she decides to take the chance.

The photographer and situation is sus and awkward, but I could see how somebody could get swayed by the situation. She seems like a smart cookie with a pretty good head on her shoulders and has reservations, is blinded by the dollar amount, and it shows that something like this could happen to anybody.

Second photo session is where things went wrong. Really wrong. And this is where you feel deep empathy for the fact that this woman LIVED this, and then re-lived it through this experience.

She's drugged, raped, sold, and tortured for three days. Based on Frida's interviews, much of her experienced was embellished in the movie due to her being so heavily drugged. That doesn't make this situation any less real.

Many women have experienced this, and this is another sex trafficking movie that brings it into the light.

This woman is not stupid. She was brought into an unbelievable experience, and you never know how you could possibly act if this ever happened to you. This movie provides an important message. As hard as it is to watch, I think it's important to be aware that this could happen to anyone. The message in this movie is the most important aspect of it, apart from the entertainment value.

This movie was shot primarily in one room, with a small number of actors. The acting was mostly good and believable. I'm highly impressed with Gabriel Old's appearance as Peter. He was fantastically evil. I hate that I even liked him at moments? I'm uncomfortable with the lead actress being the victim of the true story, and it makes it hard to understand why she would do this. To get her story out, perhaps. To cope with her trauma, maybe. It's just odd.

It's hard to judge the actions of the main character, as it is a "real person". But I do wish she fought back more, that she showed more drive to escape. That she stabbed the dude directly in the neck. Who am I to judge? Someone that has never experienced anything like this?

Rating: Victim playing herself: Yikes/10 Acting: 7/10 Story: 6/10 Milk chugging: 2/10 Low budget, high impact: 7/10 Overall rating: 6/10.

Compliance (2012)

The movie I had no idea was a true story until I saw the credits.

[7/10 · 22 December 2022]

Compliance is a movie written and directed by Craig Zobel, the only reason why I discovered it. He also directed The Hunt, which was one of my favorites of 2020 that fell way too under the radar.

The movie takes place in a fast food restaurant. A phone call from police during a busy work shift sends the location manager, Sandra (fantastically acted by Ann Dowd), into a spiral. She is told by Officer Daniels (Pat Healy) that one of her cashiers Becky (Dreama Walker) stole from a customer.

The officer on the phone instructs various employees to strip search Becky, and eventually convinces Sandra's boyfriend to spank her. It's cringe scene after cringe scene. The young cashier is abused and exploited repeatedly, and you can't help but think "WHY ARE YOU NOT QUESTIONING THIS 'OFFICER' ON THE PHONE?"

They keep asking the officer why he has not arrived, and he claims he's currently searching Becky's house because her brother is involved with drugs. The questioning does not go further than that.

This is a frustrating watch, because there's no way that people are this gullible, right?

That is until I saw the credits read: The caller was said to have coerced managers of more than 70 fast food outlets in 31 U. S. states into strip-searching, humiliating, and sexually abusing customers and staff.

Excuse me?!

According to EW, the film is "based on a real incident from 2004 when an 18-year-old employee at a McDonald's in Kentucky was detained, stripped, and sexually assaulted on the instructions of a caller pretending to be a policeman". The footage is even on YouTube. A 38-year old prison guard was thought to have made the calls in 2004, but was not convicted based on "insufficient evidence". He was acquitted in 2006 (NBC News, 2006).

This reminds me of a famous psychology experiment, the Milgram Shock Experiment. How far will people go when they think they are in the presence of authority?

Anyway, back to the movie. This movie shows how gullible the American public can be, and it was acted damn well. It was unique and captivating. It's cringe to watch, but it's meant to be. Zobel set out what he meant to do with this one, and that's frustrate the hell out of me.

Rating: Acting: 8/10 Story: 7/10 How gullible people are: 8/10 Shock factor: 6/10 Ann Dowd: 10/10 The real "Sandra the manager": 1/10 Overall rating: 7.5/10.

Dashcam (I) (2021)

76 minutes of rooting for the protagonist to die.

[1/10 · 22 December 2022]

Rob Savage, director, impressed me with Host and I wanted to give this a shot. Honestly, I cannot BELIEVE Blumhouse produced this piece of garbage.

In my 32 years of life I've seen plenty of movie characters that I didn't like, but none of them were as unlikeable as Annie Hardy. That is also her name in real life, and apparently she is a toned down version of the Annie Hardy we get in Dashcam. Ten minutes spent watching her instagram highlight stories confirmed this.

Annie Hardy is an annoying, problematic, rude, politically charged young adult. She's a terrible friend, and even worse she's a "vlogging car rapper"? The type of person that screams out of her window at people and wakes a friend up by a spit slap to the face.

Yikes Within the first 5 minutes of meeting her, you're rooting for her to die. The blurry, shaky found footage cliche of it all might be my favorite part of this movie.

I couldn't bring myself to enjoy any aspect of this movie or even try to follow the plot due to my level of annoyance for the main character. Could it have been good with a different actor? Maybe. I'll never know because I'm never watching it again. I can't tell you what happened in this movie, only that you don't need to waste your time on it.

This is not found footage. This is found garbage. YEP I SAID IT.

Rating: Annie Hardy the character: 0/10 Annie Hardy the person: 0/10 Her friend: 2/10 Overall rating: 1/10.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

Terminator Meets Silent Night, Deadly Night?

[7/10 · 22 December 2022]

Christmas Bloody Christmas is a new killer Santa movie with a twist.

Fun fact: the film features 487 uses of profanity, with an average of 5.6 per minute.

Fun fact again: When Joe Begos pitched this movie, he originally wanted to re-make Silent Night, Deadly Night- but with an animatronic Santa instead.

Santa meets The Terminator? Not so much as Santa borrows heavily from The Terminator in its entire closing sequence. Not to say it was a bad thing, there were several new twists and enhancements from the final chase scene with Arnold and Linda. But let's start at the beginning.

The first twenty minutes of this movie are a slog through good acting, clever dialogue, and better than average film work (cinematography, sound editing, etc). As enjoyable as the character banter is, it stretches too long as you get impatient waiting for killer Santa to enter the game.

Once he does, it's a rollicking ride with some well above average gory deaths (did someone order a stairs curb stomp?) and some good action sequences. The killings and tension escalate regularly through the films last hour, and despite the heavily Terminator themed climax it was extremely enjoyable.

After some discussion I got the girls to come meet me at a 7 rating. Definitely a high rating for this genre (killer animatronic Santa?) but the combined action, innovative killings, and very well done "camp" factor make this a recommended Christmas watch for any horror fan.

Rating: First 20 minutes: 2/10 Santa curb stomp: 9/10 Acting and chemistry: 8/10 Semi-accurate portrayal of police: 6/10 Terminator ending: 6/10 Overall rating: 7/10.

Nope (2022)

NOPE get a nope from me, dawg.

[4/10 · 22 December 2022]

Jordan Peele has had quite the career and I respect the hell out of him. Some of modern comedy's best skits are in Key and Peele. Get Out was fantastic, and Us was even better. I even tolerated The Twilight Zone. NOPE is an appropriate title for this one.

I will preface this by saying I generally do not enjoy alien movies, and I went into this completely blind.

The plot in two sentences: The Haywoods family, the oldest African-American-owned horse ranch, had a few mysterious deaths and spot a UFO. (Insert a bunch of other stories here). They try to capture the UFO on camera and chaos ensues.

The cinematography and camera work is fantastic from the start. It has a horror sci-fi western feel and the actors play their roles and interact very well. They help set the tone of tension throughout the film. The plot quickly becomes disjointed when trying to interweave incongruous storylines that never get wrapped up.

Stories include, but are not limited to: a lone surviving child star, a chimpanzee that snapped, a western theme park, and a couple of cowboys desperate for money.

Even with analyzing the themes and symbolism written into it, NOPE doesn't hit the mark for me.

There is a twist in this movie, which leads people to compare this to both Signs and M. Night himself. This twist during the climax was, well, anticlimactic.

The film relies heavily on suspense and symbolism that will go over the majority of peoples' heads. NOPE is a slow burn with a convoluted and seemingly pretentious premise.

Takeaway: BE NICE TO ANIMALS.

Rating: Cinematography: 9/10 Chimp massacre: 8/10 Run time: 2/10 The climax: 2/10 Jellyfish: 2/10 Overall rating: 4/10.

Krampus (I) (2015)

"Twisted Fairy-Tale Horses**t"

[8/10 · 22 December 2022]

A child's lack of Christmas spirit unleashes the wrath of Krampus for a 98-minute creature feature with an excellent twist. Co-written and directed by Michael Dougherty of "Trick r Treat", I am not surprised that this is such an entertaining watch with a well-picked crew.

They do not hold back with their 15 million dollar budget. Krampus is jam-packed with good acting, fantastic cinematography, and A+ special effects. This strays away from your traditional slasher Christmas horror in the best ways.

You do need to suspend your disbelief while watching - these parents do not lift a finger to look for their children that start to go missing. Once you get past that and the PG-13 rating, you can enjoy the chaos that's unfolding.

If this isn't already a part of your yearly Christmas movie traditions, you should add it.

Rating: Special effects: 9/10 Acting: 9/10 Killer gingerbread: 10/10 PG-13 rating: 2/10 Kids died? Ok I guess: 3/10 DROPPING LIKE FLIES: 9/10 Creature sled: 9/10 Ending: 9/10 Overall rating: 8/10.

Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)

"You trying to repel me with a cross made of pencils?"

[6/10 · 22 December 2022]

Opening credits can really set the tone for the movie. In this case, Bloodsucking Bastards nails it with the opening credits.

Evan (Fran Kranz, Marty in Cabin in the Woods) is an overworked employee, freshly dumped, and just got passed on a promotion. Life isn't going well for him, but it's about to get worse (and more bloody). Turns out that the homie (nemesis Max) that got the promotion? Vampire. Him and his bestie Tim (Joey Kern, hot guy from Cabin Fever) are now up against an office full of vampires.

We start off with some off-screen deaths before jumping into the gore. Once it gets rocking, it doesn't stop until the end.

The cubicle-based bro banter in this is heavy, but it leans on the entertaining and comedic side rather than the annoying side. You can tell the comedic inspiration was derived from Office Space. For a B horror with a low budget - there's a good cast and crew behind it. You can tell the budget from the low quality camera work, but the actors slip into their roles with ease and set the tone well. The range of personalities in the cast made for great chemistry.

It hits the mark as far as horror comedies go. The underlying metaphor of a soul-sucking office environment vs. Blood-sucking vampires is clear as day. Worth grabbing a beer and having a free watch (with commercials, thanks a lot Freevee).

Rating: Bro banter: 5/10 First half: 4/10 Kelly Clarkson: 7/10 Janitor vampire: 8/10 Exploding vampires: 7/10 Frank the security officer: 10/10 Overall rating: 6/10.

Curse of Jack Frost (2022)

This movie is a challenge of how far you will make it before you've had enough.

[1/10 · 22 December 2022]

We made it 20 minutes.

I still have enough to write a dissertation about how bad this movie is.

1. JACK FROST ICE BOI'S MOUTH DOESN'T MOVE WHEN HE TALKS.

2. Until it suddenly does.

3. Then it doesn't again.

4. Special effects with snow that look like Instagram filters.

5. Trying way too hard. Everyone. Everything.

6. People being "thrown to the ground" but they fall like dramatic feathers.

7. This movie takes itself VERY SERIOUSLY.

8. Homie supposedly made of "ice" has dangly ice fabric that wiggles when he breathes.

9. Ice boi sliced someone's neck open and there was no blood??? Christmas magic!

10. "Psssst......act" the director to every random person they met on the street to act in this movie.

This movie is so bad it's bad. There are no redeeming qualities. I don't turn movies off. I couldn't run away from this quickly enough.

Y'all I can't even break this one down. I feel like I already did. I've seen enough. You've heard enough.

Rating: 1/10.