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Fear the Walking Dead: Cindy Hawkins (2021)
What a waste of time
The length of the review has to have a certain minimum, and so does the essence of an episode before viewer is forced to change a channel. Enough to sit for the duration of the show, not enough to enjoy it.
The first few minutes, the repetition of the daily routine was interesting, everything else but the last few minutes was rubbish.
It is even difficult to give a "spoiler", because the whole episode is rotten.
Zrodzeni do szabli (2019)
The history written with blade and blood
The polish sabre, the essence of the nation that was born to fight and protect, the cold steel that was a constant companion to every noble born from his first till the last breath.
When Jan Jerlicz arrives at the Wronowski's homestead, he's got nothing but his sabre and a horse. He returns after a decade spent in the Muscovite captivity but he has nowhere to return to. He enjoys a few days of his former commander hospitality soon to be on his way to wherever his fate sends him. He has no defined purpose, but he knows that his more to his life story.
Wronowski, hampered by his old war injuries can clearly see that, and suggests Jerlicz to take his place and become his son's Blazej's guide and mentor. Thus the long journey from a shy boy to a proud man begins.
Life in the XVII century was hard, and even the noble born had to endure pain and sacrifice to prepare them for their future role of the protectors of the country and the faith. With never ending practice, thousands upon thousands of thrusts, parries, slicing and crossing Blazej masters the skills, but there is still something that prevents him from fully developing his potential. He is still a good kid with not an ounce of aggression in his blood. This is yet to change however, when he is forced to take a part in the brutal game of mock up combat with the local champion.
He is hurt, he bleeds, the mob laughs at him, he stands up and again lands on the ground with the merciless hit of the wooden sword. The mob cheers for his opponent, while Jerlicz observes the game from afar. He knows, that the boy is ready for his rite of passage and Blazej does not disappoint. After all, sword fight is not something foreign to him, it is his legacy, the blood of generations of warriors runs in his veins, the honour and pride of his ancestors surges through and true. He stands up again and the cold realisation comes to him, this is his life, that is what he was born to, that is what makes him a Pole. This time he is ready for everything his adversary throws at him, years of training finally pay off, he dispatches the local champion and does a quick job with another four that take the challenge. The crowd embraces him as a new champion.
Jerlicz smirks. He is no longer Blazej's teacher, his role of a master is competed, now he is Blazej's friend and brother in arms.
Rating 10/10 is not giving this film a full justice. The combat scenes are universally regarded as the best sabre fights ever shot in a movie. There is no choreography or made for show moves that plague every Jackie Chan movie. Every move, every step and every single cross cut is authentic and as true to the art of sword combat as they get. The absolute masterpiece.
Geroy (2019)
Surprisingly unsurprising
And here we go, another blatant russian propaganda,so prevalent in the recent big budget russian movies. T-34 anyone? Panfilov's 28? Would you like some ideological indoctrination with that?
Well, the movie is dumb. There is no logic in almost anything that is being done in there. Abduction and murder of a key witness from american embassy in London, helicopter carrying MG42 shooting over german town, russian spy planes over Poland, unprotected intercourse inside deflated balloon, skysurfing over borders, crimean underground submarine base used as a hideout for a greedy businessman and aquatic hoverboards used to protect it. Looks good, but it is dumb. And this is on top of the daddy Rodin escaping from the heavily guarded intelligence headquarters as soon as the power is cut off. Nevertheless, the main award goes to the the guys who decided to tie Masha up to the ceiling while still holding the ropes.
The most confusing part, for non-Russian of course, is who are the good guys and who are the baddies? Of course the idea of planting kids as future agents of the glorious Russia in democratic and free countries is not something that Ministry of Propaganda endorses?
Apostol (2008)
Well, quite interesting, but...
Generally I like russian war movies. I'll say more, I do like them much more than average american war drama, where everything is going down until the brave GIs step in to save the day.
So why, while enjoying the show, I still find this movie a bit of lacking? Well, the truth to be told, this is one of the weirdest russian war production I've seen recently. It is sometimes so graphic in presenting how cruel and insecure the life was under the communist regime in USSR during (before and after as well) WW2, that it sends the shivers down my spine, and at the same time is so illogical.
1. Two brothers of a respected well educated and powerful father, after his arrest one turns a village teacher, the other one a master thief and safe breaker (yep!)
2. Russian soldiers captured by Germans are en masse collaborating with nazis, they get trained as future saboteurs in russian speaking camps, but once land in USSR they turn good citizens again
3. Russians are treated as "sort of equal, not really the same but nevertheless almost equal" to Germans, enough to stage elaborate play just to fool one of them
4. The main character is obviously a genius, who can master self defense by watching drawings on the blackboard, figure out the solution to a most complicated plot while doodling on the wall and of course, pays attention to the shape of nail heads in his boots to prevent his cover being blown.
There's plenty more where that comes from and even the fact that. his own daddy being discovered to be the mastermind of German espionage does not take the first prize for "I can't believe that" competition. The award and trophy goes to the two factors (ex equo) - the first russian movie, where instead of fighting Germans, the Russians are either killing each other or ... their Polish and British allies, and that the only action scene showcases the undercover NKVD agent, supported by two soviet german collaborators attack a soviet train somewhere in southern Russia in order to steal the documents belonging to Polish (gen.Anders) army command, while those documents are supposed to be pivotal to the outcome of the WW2.
I rest my case. Enjoyable - yes. Well acted- yes. Logical - Nope. .
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Alone We Fight (2018)
Say what?
The most exciting piece is the beginning, where we are being told, that it is Belgium, December 44 and apparently there's a war going on.
Of course, as it is quite usual for European winter, the sun is shining, the leaves are green, the forest is quiet and welcoming and there's not a single snowflake around. How lucky, cos at supposedly the same time, just a few miles away, in Bruges, Americans were freezing in the knee high snow, Anyone cares to explain why there are some fires randomly scattered around for no reason?
Then we got a bunch of American GIs, still in their battle gear, walked by German soldiers, who again, for no reason decide to waste time on digging a hole and then proceed to murder two captives. Why only two you ask? Well, the evil can not prevail, so our POWs are finally deciding that enough is enough, and in a twisted turnaround they kill their captors.
Enough is enough, so I say, no reason to watch this rubbish anymore.
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Valhalla Rising (2009)
The less is said the better
The sheer pain of going through hour and a half of this utterly boring and totally uninspiring piece of masochistic lack of creativity can only be matched by the pain of writing more than ten lines of the review. While common sense screams to leave the cinema, the false hope still lingers around, with final credits coming not a moment too soon bring a mixture of joy and relief. While the beginning of the non existent story gives the viewer an illusion of something interesting and captivating to come, the promise never comes true. There is virtually no dialogue in the movie, which turns to be a good choice, since at least one sense is spared from the 90 minutes of visual torture. It is worth noticing, that the film was financed through European Union grant, as no bank would burn good money on it. As nothing really happens, there is no risk of inadvertently include a spoiler in the review.