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Not Another Teen Movie (2001)
No laughs to be found here
This is supposed to be a comedy, right ? How come I didn't laugh once then while watching it. Seriously though viewing this movie was one painful experience. I could not believe how un funny it was. For a movie that spoofs teen comedies you would think they would have put in a much better effort than this. It seems that no effort was put in at all really. The movie that's spoofed most often in the film is Varsity Blues. Varsity freakin' Blues ? Why the writers and director chose to parody a horrible movie so many damn times I have no idea. I'm not gonna comment on the actors too much because they have such bad material to work with maybe there's some potential there I don't know but I doubt any of them are destined for big things. I'll even give the director another chance but the dudes who wrote this crap should never be allowed to work AGAIN in Hollywood. They blew it big time.
Bully (2001)
Stick with it till the end
I heard a lot about this movie. Things like it sucked, it was pornographic and what have you. Then I started watching it and right away those were my thought exactly. However once the characters decide to kill Bobby(Nick Stahl), and once the new characters get introduced, the movie gets real good. The characters plan to do in Bobby it is so fascinating to see these dimwits all try to agree on the same page. The first 45 minutes or so do have no plot its a lot of sex and nudity and though that stuff does happen the whole movie once there is a plot established the movie becomes riveting and fascinating to watch.
The main 4 characters your first introduced to Marty(Brad Renfro), Bobby( Nick Stahl), Lisa(Rachel Miner), and Ally(Bjiou Phillips) are all unappealing and uninteresting. Welcome to Dullville home of the Dimwits. They behave and act like their white trash yet they are middle class. Whats up with that I have no idea. However the characters Donny,Heather,Derek the Hitman,and Cousin Derek are all interesting and very colorful much deeper and better characters and better performances are given than the 4 main leads. I mean Leo Fitzpatrick as The Hitman is not only the best character in the movie he's the best actor overall too. Leo Fitzpatrick should be going places in the future his performance is that good. The girl who plays Heather,Kelli Garner looks like a young Mena Suvari. She's not TOO annoying. Michael Pitt who plays Donny who's always stoned is hilarious. The guy who plays Cousin Derek is great too he reminded me a lot of Ethan Suplee who's been in dozens of films. You get to see what happens to everyone at the end and its cool to see who got sentenced and charged with what.
My advice is to sit through the first half of the film. I know it's painful to watch because its so bad but keep watching because you will feel very rewarded by the time the movie is over. I'm glad I stuck with it.
Free Enterprise (1998)
Real cool
I don't even like Star Trek or Sci fi that much and I liked this movie. The characters in the movie aren't only obsessing with Star Trek they're also into cult movies and action figures and stuff. So while Star Trek is the main focus here it's not like it's the only thing that's mentioned. Pretty much everything adolescents are into is touched upon. Seeing a bunch of grown men go into Toys R Us to check out the new action figures in stock was awesome and I'm sure lots of adults who do things like that will enjoy that stuff.
The actor who plays Robert reminded me a lot of Jason Lee's performances in the Kevin Smith films. Heck he was so much like him I thought I WAS watching Jason Lee for a minute. Eric McCormack's character was far less interesting he seemed to just whine too much about his age and problems and didn't garner much sympathy from me. All the girlfriends and ex girlfriends in the movie are all very beautiful. Makes you wonder though in real life would these geeks be able to get girls like that.
William Shatner, have to mention him, he comes across as a bit of a nut obsessing about getting a project about Julius Ceaser off the ground. It's a good performance none the less though it was funny to see these guys all excited to meet their idol and after they met him he was annoying them too much and he wasn't what they were hoping he'd turn out to be.
I'm not totally like the 2 main characters in the movie but I could definately relate to them on some level so anyone who's into sci fi,action figures or cult movies should check this out you'll like it a lot. Even if at the core it is dating/relationship type movie that part of the film is handled real well. I was surprised at how much of it interested me.
Whatever (1998)
Whatever the heck happened to good behavior
I'm kinda on the fence on this movie. I didn't think it was great but it wasn't terrible either. It kinda goes through the motions it doesn't stray far from the path. You won't see anything surprising or shocking here just things in the daily lives of some teenage girls.
(Anna) Lisa Weil well like I said her performance is solid but not outstanding. Typical moody teenager doesn't know if she wants to study art or just become a bum and smoke and drink all day. Of course at the end of the movie she finally knows what she wants but if she knew right away then we wouldn't have a movie would we.
Brenda, her friend played by Chad Morgan is the worst best friend and role model a girl could have. She wants her best friend to hook up with 2 guys who just got out of prison. What kinda friend is that ??? If she wasn't so heavily into drinking, partying and drugs maybe Anna wouldn't be too. It's a case of everyones doing it so you go along with the crowd. They try to explain the background of why she does what she does with a scene with her stepfather. They also show her doing something to him which I didn't totally believe. Over dramatizing if you ask me.
The cinematography is decent here this is a cheap movie but it looked fine. There's a lot of annoying 80's songs played during the movie to convey that this movie takes place during the 80's. Duh ! Coulda done without them if you ask me.
Again, I've seen quite a bit of independent films about teenagers and this one falls somewhere in between great and bad. It's a good movie just don't expect anything earth shattering to happen. Good look into the everyday life of messed up and bored kids. If you like plot twists and turns look elsewhere.
Thinner (1996)
die clean
I've seen a lot of the movies based on Stephen King stories and I must say that Thinner is one of the best ones. It's not a horror film per say like Carrie but it's not a drama like The Shawshank Redemption either it's somewhere in between. What Thinner has is great direction by Tom Holland who has done quite a number of good horror films like Child's Play. He keeps the action flowing from one scene to the next and keeps the pace up without slowing down and getting the audience bored. He keeps the viewer interested and makes you want to see what will happen next. Michael McDowell did a fine job with the the screen play all the characters from Robert John Burke to Joe Mantegna all have great dialogue and are interesting enough that you care about them. I don't know how faithful the screenplay is to the book because I never read it but even if it wasn't faithful to the book I wouldn't care because it's so well done.
Michael Constantine who plays the old gypsy who puts curses on people was great. He has some nice memorable lines and the way his voice sounds and the way he speaks is just so memorable that you will never forget him. Great makeup job on him too. Joe Mantegna who plays Richie the gangster so cool and calm and collected he steals every seen he's in. Robert John Burke who plays the fat lawyer who gets cursed is decent but not outstanding. I think he goes over the top a bit. He certainly is not as good as Constantine or Mantegna but their acting is so high level it's hard to match up to them. The only bad thing I can say about this movie is that their is a scene with 2 gypsies and they do something that I think is completely out of character for them. Are gypsies murderous people I don't think so.
Thinner doesn't have a ton of blood and gore just a little bit so you won't get all queasy from watching it. Their are certainly bloodier Stephen King movies than this but not many that are better. If you want to see a good horror-drama and are a Stephen King fan you should see this. It's one of the best Stephen King movies I've ever seen I wish I'd seen it sooner. the surprise twist ending is great too. ***out of****.
Hysterical Blindness (2002)
definately not for the big screen
I don't think it was necessary for this movie to be set in the 1980's. It could have been easily set in present day and you wouldn't notice much difference while watching it. Anyhow this is a performance driven movie and their are some great performances by Uma Thurman,Juliette Lewis and Gena Rowlands. In fact Uma Thurman did such a great job of transforming herself into a white trash, low class, Jersey girl that she should get nominated for an Emmy for this role. Juliette Lewis is fine as her somewhat less trashy best friend. The girl who plays her daughter gives a sunny energetic performance on screen. Gena Rowlands doesn't have a lot to do(it's Uma's movie) but when she's on screen she gets the job done. Ben Gazarra as her boyfriend is the nice guy who Deb(Uma Thurman) resents at first but of course grows to like. The only bad performance in this movie is Justin Chambers who plays Thurman's love interest. This guy is one big dope and that's an understatement. His portrayal of an "everyman" is very unrealistic. Here you have a sexy and attractive woman(Thurman)constantly coming on to him and making advances yet he does nothing and just utters 3 word sentences and acts uninterested. You think it may be just a ploy to act uninterested but you can see it's no rap thats for sure. Most guys like him and guys in general would be all over that. Maybe he doesn't like trashy woman but why hang out at a dive bar then ? Despite Justin Chambers sleepwalking their are some good performances here by the other actors that are worth worthing. Keep in mind this is a tv movie after all so it is a bit dull and slow and not much exciting happens. There is maybe one minor surprise(with Ben Gazarra's character) that was unexpected but thats it. Watch this movie for the fine acting not the story or plot.
Julien Donkey-Boy (1999)
Worst looking movie ever
This movie looked so bad it was practically unwatchable. It was shot on digital video and is so grainy that it looks very blurry and you can't see all the details. As far as the film itself goes well it was directed by the same guy who did Gummo so you can expect the usual bad acting, bizarre outlandish behavior and amateurish directing. The viewer has no clue what is going on screen as they are watching this mess unfold before their very eyes. Only the director in his twisted little mind knows all the answers. Hey at least Gummo had decent cinematography Julien Donkey-Boy has NOTHING positive going for it. Anyone could make this movie for 500$ in their basement and you don't even have to be a supposed world famous independent film director.
A Better Place (1997)
awesome independent film about teenagers
Contains Spoiler I'm a huge fan of independent/foreign films about teenagers and this is one of the best ones I've seen. The actors who play Barrett and Ryan are both superb actors who give wonderful performances. Barrett is the geeky new kid at school who moved with his mom to start over after his dad died. No one likes him so he befriends the local psycho who saves him from a beating by another kid. Ryan has real deep emotional problems and is very disturbed but Barrett doesn't notice this at first because all he's trying to do is make friends. Barrett and Ryan's friendship goes very bad when a local man is accidently killed by one of them and then Barrett tries to distance himself from Ryan and of course Ryan being the psycho he is isn't about to just give up the friendship. There's is subplot about Ryan getting into a feud with local bullies and tragedy ensues when one of them goes looking for revenge. What can I say other than this is a very enjoyable entertaining movie. The performances are all true and real this isn't some crappy teen Hollywood movie thats for sure. There's kinda a tiny bit of a romantic subplot with Barrett's female friend but it isn't explored thankfully. I like how Barrett stood up to the bullies instead of just taking their crap. He may look geeky but he's strong willed thats for sure. As far as Ryan goes he's a psycho,a tortured soul, a loner, he has radical ideas about the future of the planet but you still feel sympathy for him because he's so real. I'm sure everyone in life knows someone just like Ryan. It was sad to see what happens to him at the end. In fact I really didn't like how this movie ended but I'm not gonna let that ruin an otherwise enjoyable 70 plus minutes. The movie is very low budget but the cinematography is quite good and captures the mood and atmosphere very well. If you love teenage angst movies or independent movies with smart,well written characters then you should see this. I'm glad I discovered this one. ***1/2 out of ****.
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
My hooves! My hooves!
Tom Green in Roadtrip was shown on screen in small doses which was a good thing. Here he dominates the screen for 90 minutes which is not a good thing. I never saw his tv show prior to seeing this movie so perhaps I didn't know how to "get" him. In this movie he does some very strange and bizarre things. It's never explained why he does it. Is he drunk ? Is he high ? Apparently he's neither of those but what else would explain his outlandish behavior. This more of a bunch of unfunny skits strung together than a movie. A good excuse for Tom to go wild and act crazy. I did laugh when he did the scuba gear bit and when he licked the guy's wound but for 90 minutes laughing 2 times in a comedy is not nearly enough. Make no mistake this is one bad movie and fully deserves all the flack it's gotten. There's not one good performance here and that includes Rip Torn who plays Tom's dad. * out of ****.
Bottle Rocket (1996)
"Bob Maplethorpe potential get away driver, GO!!!"
Bottle Rocket is about a bunch of guys who turn to a life of crime because they don't wanna get regular jobs. These aren't criminal masterminds however they are best described as lovable morons. This movie is loaded with sharp and witty dialogue. Luke and Owen Wilson are 2 of my favorite actors and since this movie have definately gone on to great things. Robert Musgrave as Bob Maplethorpe the spoiled rich kid is the best character in the movie surpassing even Anthony and Dignan. People have said the middle part of the movie, the part where they get to hotel, drags on. Personally this is my favorite part of the movie. Anthony and Inez(the hotel maid) relationships is fascinating to watch. He keeps talking to her and following her around even though she doesn't speak english. Funny stuff. The big heist at the end was somewhat unsatisfying. I wanted to see these guys pull it off. None the less Bottle Rocket is a good, small comedy with great characters and memorable lines that will never leave you. ***1/2 out of ****.
RoboCop 2 (1990)
not a great sequel
Robocop 2 contains just as much graphic violence and action as the first one. So what's the problem ? Well Peter Weller is back for this one and that's definately a positive since he was the best Robocop ever much better than the guy who played him in Robocop 3 and the ones from the tv series and tv mini series. The problem is Robocop 2 isn't very original. The character called "Kane" is a complete copy of Boddicker from Robocop. The kid as the drug kingpin was a horrible casting decision. No one kid is that evil. Seeing a kid shooting a machine gun trying to kill cops is disturbing and just plain dumb. The movie trys to get you to feel sympathy for him later on towards the end it another poor scene. The "Robocop II" machine sent to kill Robocop is definately not as good as the ED-209 from the first movie. One thing about a Robocop movie is you always get plenty of viciously evil bad guys. Robocop 2 has all the campy elements the first one had but it feels more like a rehash instead of a new movie. Again I can't stress how bad the kid gangster is his presence alone made the movie unenjoyable. ** out of ****.
Graveyard Shift (1990)
stop picking on Stephen King
Sure Stephen King has had some bad movies made based on his work. This however is not one of them. Maine is once again the setting this time at a paper mill where something evil is lurking below. If your not a horror movie fan there is no way you would like this. If you are one you can easily look past all the faults and find plenty of things to like. David Andrews who plays the lead role is pretty good as the cool, mysterious loner type. The fact that he has a love interest is clichéd but what can you do. Brad Dourif as an exterminator and Andrew Divoff as a local yokel also turn in good performances. Stephen Macht as the evil Warwick plays a character that's very similar to characters in other King movies namely Gus from Pet Sematary 2. The giant Bat, why it can't fly I have no idea isn't shown a lot but when it does it's very impressive. The last act of the film when they go underground is superb. It's a ripoff of the Alien movies where people are being chased in dark tight spaces but in a movie like this who cares about originality. If your a horror fan and Stephen King fan you should check this out. I'm sure all the negative reviews on it are from people who aren't fans of either of those things.