eskimosound Reviews

Love Lies Bleeding (2024)

Wow!!

[10/10 · 22 May 2024]

Wow, wow, wow!! Look out for it, you will know when it happens!! Amazing!!!

It's better than that keep watching!!

The last half hour is spectacular cinema.

So I wasn't expecting much from this movie, I thought it was a B movie in fact. But straight from the start it had me gripped. The two woman are fantastic and I was transported into their world. Played well and dirty enough to make you believe. Great story, Solis script, expertly acted, yep a very good movie. In fact I've never seen such a violet woman, she plays a great role. There's not much to add, you will hate their predicament, you will all the other characters apart from the main. The music needs a mention along with the special effects. The main character is not to be trifled with. Look just watch it, it's excellent.

Unfrosted (2024)

Fantastic! Read this review, for the love of Movies.

[10/10 · 9 May 2024]

This movie is amazing!! It's brilliant, it's funny, it's fast, fast, fast, joke after joke after joke, like friends. The writing is astounding, the sets beautiful, the colours, the lighting all amazing. And the story is fabulous, I absolutely love it! I'm not sure how true it is but it doesn't matter.. I have to tell you I hate Seinfeld, with a passion but man alive he has changed my whole perception. There's so much going on in the background and so many references you could study this Movie at MA level! Genius, imagine those fantastic funny films from the 80s and 90s, that family friendly films, I dunno, Vacation and Uncle Buck but with a pace that's lightspeed. Sharp, witty and relentless. I can't say much more, it starts at full pace and never slows down. Suffice to say it's the best movie I've seen this year so far, the only thing that could top it is a fast paced Wes Anderson movie. So forget all the negative...it's just not there, it's fun, fast, brilliantly written and shot and should in my opinion should win an Oscar..it really doesn't matter which category. Thank you Jerry Seinfeld for bothering to entertain us with this whimsical tale. There's more, it's got an A list cast and not all from comedy, I honestly haven't enjoyed a film so much since Asteroid City and this knocks the socks off it, it doesn't stop, it's so damned fast, spectacular, not a minute goes past before the next gag, such genius writing. And I must say God Bless Jerry Seinfeld, this is his true masterpiece and I hope he tries to better it. God bless the Movies. Thank you Hollywood, you have delivered. Xxx.

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Esmail is a Genius!

[10/10 · 28 April 2024]

Don't believe the bad reviews, they don't get it. Esmail is a genius, he's a modern day writer that you need to wake up to. He has the finger on the pulse and comes up with modern day scenarios that are on point and totally terrifying. Not only does this movie show the horrors of what could happen, it's is immaculately written and directed by one of the best creators of our time. If you like Mr Robot (and who didn't it's one of my top 3 dramas of all time) you will love this. The same amazing camera angles and cliff hanging suspense. Im so glad I didn't go with the reviews and went with my gut. The ending is fantastic so forget what they say, they just don't know Esmails work. Not sure what else to say without breaking plot. It's brilliantly acted...like how couldn't it be with 4 A Listers, it's totally and utterly believable like all his other work, the music the shots, the editings, the writing all superb, as best as it gets and with any luck we will have a sequel. That my friends is all I've got so watch it, really, watch it, if you want to be informed about the state of the western world and how is can be disabled in a heartbeat, this will explain it all.

Beckham (2023)

Fantastic...

[10/10 · 10 March 2024]

I love both these people David and Victoria, they are nice...I don't care about football but I can see talent and commitment and I don't care so much for bubblegum pop but I know how talented, beautiful and influential Victoria is. This is a fantastic insight into their world, one which we can only dream of. What I like most is how normal they are!! Yep, curled up on the sofa or grilling stuff. I had no idea about the horrors of being famous, the death threats and the kidnapping threats, what an absolute nightmare to live through and then you have all the hatred from the football fans..well all I can say is I love you people, please continue being nice, there's a reason why you are Superstars and the fans far outweigh the haters.

Captive State (2019)

Boring..

[3/10 · 9 March 2024]

I have no idea why this cost so much money. It's all very tight shots, so a very contained set. There's hardly any CGI from what I can tell and yeah it's boring. I was going to say whybhasnbo one called this Cloverfield 3 but I don't think it matters. It's not worth watching, I'm am not going to see the end of it. I have no idea why this cost so much money. It's all very tight shots, so a very contained set. There's hardly any CGI from what I can tell and yeah it's boring. I was going to say whybhasnbo one called this Cloverfield 3 but I don't think it matters. It's not worth watching, I'm am not going to see the end of it.

Frasier (2023– )

Terrible

[1/10 · 12 February 2024]

I hate everything about this. His son, Nile's son, the strange next door neighbour girl friend, the drunk English professor, the other woman...it's creepy, badly written and frankly rubbish. I watched every single episode wishing, hoping for some sort of spirit, some light that would say it's ok, we know what we are doing and it's going to get better. I didn't see it. I hope to God it's doesn't get another series. It one of the worst sit coms I've ever seen and doesn't warrant the title of Frasier. He's just a dirty old man chasing younger women, the episode where he and his son have blind dates is unforgivable. His son is some arrogant no body with no redeeming features. There's an episode where Frasier gets stung by a Bee...there's no bee, there's no sound of a bee, there's no actions of there being a bee then suddenly he swats his arm and says a Bee...it is one of the worst pieces of acting I've ever seen and made me shout out "NO" at the television. So just let this program die and Kelsey retire, he doesn't need the money and hopefully his ego is bruised enough that he will give up. I will not watch this again.

Alien Code (2018)

Watching it now and..

[6/10 · 12 February 2024]

It would be good if they hired an actor who was a man rather than a thirty year old who looks like a boy pretending to be a man. The idea that he is some hardened drinker with a brain tumor doesn't cut it. He also just looks like he's living in his mum and dad's house. That's really is my only criticism. It's a good script and it is good acting just wrongly cast. The effects aren't great but I don't think they need to be. The men in black are great and super creepy just how they are reported. So I'm half way through and yes I will be watching it till the end. I know it's not but it could be a true story, that's how well it's written. A bit better Direction and Atmosphere along with older actors and this would be an excellent sci-fi thriller.

Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)

Too long...!!

[10/10 · 9 December 2023]

Hey let's not kid anybody, it's a Osage Indian Goodfellas...that's exactly what it is. Only this time it's the Masonic Mafia killing Native Indians...and yes just like Goodfellas it's based on fact. It is shocking but no more so than other facts that have come to light. Yes it's excellent but I don't think it needed to be so long. That seems to be the trend of Scorsese's movies at the moment. DeCaprio and DeNiro do a fatastic job and transport you into the 1800's. It's allegedly about the formation of the FBI but this is the latter half of the story. And that is all I want to say. It's interesting if not very disturbing and I can see modern day society doing the same atrocities.

Christmas Evil (1980)

Badly Done...

[2/10 · 8 December 2023]

I dare say this is a fascinating premis just badly done. If Martin Scorsese got his hands on this it would be incredible. Sadly it's badly made, badly edited so that it's confusing and B movie quality. It would take a whole rewrite and reshoot but it could be turned into a winner. As is, our Crazy guy is a peeping tom, pervert, nutter, murderer. It doesn't take him much to go crazy. I haven't got to the killing bit yet and I'm half way through the movie. It has a definite Tales of the Unexpected feel to it or Hammer House of Horror which is just a nice way of saying low budget. So all I can say is, if you can buy the rights, do a remake of it and make a fortune.

Oh and I'm sick of people saying things like it's a Character Study of a man losing his mind...they say it about all these cheap B Horror Movies. These guys were making a quick buck by filling a gap in the market. Their only objective was to make money, no other thought went into this and they had to cut bits for the censor. These types of movie went straight to video and made them a lot of money. It really isn't anything more than that.

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

Better than the Original!

[8/10 · 8 December 2023]

This is much better than the 1960's version which quite frankly is the second worst movies I've ever seen. In fact it's very enjoyable. Moranis does a great job as the central character and the model making and effects of Audrey 2 are great. Combine that with some Grease like singing and it works. I believe this is a screen adaptation of a musical that was kicking around Broadway. So yep I'm glad I watched it and didn't give up after seeing the 1960s version.

This is much better than the 1960's version which quite frankly is the second worst movies I've ever seen. In fact it's very enjoyable. Moranis does a great job as the central character and the model making and effects of Audrey 2 are great. Combine that with some Grease like singing and it works. I believe this is a screen adaptation of a musical that was kicking around Broadway. So yep I'm glad I watched it and didn't give up after seeing the 1960s version.

The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

Terrible

[1/10 · 8 December 2023]

This is an awful movie. So badly acted it's like they are reading straight from script. I was told this was made in 2 days and it's very easy to believe. How this ever turned into the 1980's hit I don't know but I'm watching that version next. There's a very strange prostitute sequence that makes no sense and Seymore seems to be able to "Murder" people by just sneezing. It's utterly ridiculous. I also read that even though the plant is called Audrey 2 it has a male voice because they didn't bother re dubbing The script prompts. I honestly hate it. It's bad on every level. Avoid at all costs...

Everything Must Go (2010)

Boring...

[4/10 · 9 October 2023]

It's not funny, just telling you upfront so you know. It's a guy effectively living on his front lawn with all his belonging strewn around. He befriends a neighbourhood kid and slowly sorts his stuff out. Dull and not interesting.

It's not funny, just telling you upfront so you know. It's a guy effectively living on his front lawn with all his belonging strewn around. He befriends a neighbourhood kid and slowly sorts his stuff out. Dull and not interesting.

It's not funny, just telling you upfront so you know. It's a guy effectively living in his front lawn with all his belonging strewn around. He befriends a neighbourhood kid and slowly sorts his stuff out. Dull and not interesting.

Gran Turismo (2023)

2 Hour Advert

[2/10 · 7 October 2023]

I hated it, I didn't like any of the actors. The main lads voice just wound me up, the guy who set it all up can't stop grinning even after the accident. Oh it just goes on and on. I read an article about the true story and it is a fascinating story but this ..well this is just a Sony Advert for their new PS5 Gran Turismo. I hated it, did I say that? I hated it. Even the music got on my nerves. It shouldn't have been made, this year there seems to be a few movies like this...they are modern day B movies nothing more. The real guy came from Durham and lived in Cardiff so you can imagine his Accent would have been mad but no, just a generic British accent with about as much Charisma as a slice of bread. Don't bother.

Blue Beetle (2023)

Terrible....don't waste your time

[1/10 · 6 October 2023]

This is some strange sort of comedy vehicle for George Lopez. It's horrible, really, annoying and pointless. We've seen it done before only a lot better. It's Spider-Man but Beetle -Man. Blue instead of Red. But I cannot stress enough how George Lopez ruins the movie, it's like he hijacks it. But that's not it, it's not an interesting story, the characters are forgettable and like The Flash before it, it's boring. You don't care what happens as you know it's all going to work itself out after a big chase. The wrongs will be righted and we will all go home thinking how we've wasted our money on yet another badly made DC Movie.

No One Will Save You (2023)

Not One Word Of Dialogue!!

[10/10 · 2 October 2023]

Fantastic movie, I truly mean that. It's incredible. Not only is it atmospheric but it's suspenseful and very well shot. There's more Gray Aliens than I have ever seen and they are very spooky looking, there's no Disney here. The noises they make are great as are all the special effects. I love it! And yes as I said there is absolutely NO dialogue in it whatsoever and do you know what- you don't miss it. It's not needed at all. Someone tried to compare this to Whitley Streibers Communion but there is no comparison whatsoever, this movie blows Communion out of the water and then some. Highly Recommended.

Barbie (I) (2023)

Colourful but boring...

[3/10 · 29 September 2023]

So it looks and sounds amazing but what's the story? Or should I say whys the story. There's just no point whatsoever to this weird story. And that's all I want to say. Go watch it for the costumes and sets but don't take any notice if what they say. So it looks and sounds amazing but what's the story? Or should I say whys the story. There's just no point whatsoever to this weird story. And that's all I want to say. Go watch it for the costumes and sets but don't take any notice if what they say. So it looks and sounds amazing but what's the story? Or should I say whys the story. There's just no point whatsoever to this weird story. And that's all I want to say. Go watch it for the costumes and sets but don't take any notice if what they say.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

Cluttered...and Over Stylized

[5/10 · 22 September 2023]

So this is a good movie but it's sooo cluttered with everything... from different animation styles to loads and loads of characters...yeah I get that that is the point of the story but...it's just way to busy. And while some of it looks incredible other bits look terrible. The story is as confusing as any story about multi universes can be. I'm not sure who the Japanese looking Spider-Man is but I don't like him. So I suppose it was alright. It tried to cover everything from Miles getting his new superpowers to every incarnation of Spider-Man there has ever been... I liked it just because it IS Spider-Man and Miles is a very cool Spider Man but I would have preferred a live action.

The Flash (I) (2023)

What film is it?

[2/10 · 18 September 2023]

Is it a Baman Movie? Is it Wonder Woman? Is it Supergirl? Is it Superman? It's like watching Leonard and Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory messing around at being super heroes. It's a peculiar movie to say the least. I actually can't stand the fact that the Flash has ADHD or that the whole movie is set in a weird world were the other DC Comic super heros get more screen time. In fact it seems The Flash is pretty useless as a Super hero, his skills fall pretty short of doing anything. And shouldn't super girl have Blond hair? So to end, it's like a long episode of the Big Bang Theory inside Sheldon and Leonards dream...I would say avoid.

Asteroid City (2023)

Absolutely Fantastic

[10/10 · 15 July 2023]

This is a brilliant movie, from the start to the very end. I've never been so entertained. The style is wonderful, from script to screen and back again, the sub plots, the goofy Alien, the actors...I am amazed. The wonderful camera movement and framing is beautiful. I will buy this when it comes out and it's in my top 10 of all time movies. I was fascinated and wanted to know the in and outs of every character, the town, the technology. And the colours, wow the colours popped off the screen and burnt into your brain. It should win the Oscar for best picture this year by a long shot. Thank you Wes Anderson for getting this to screen.

Paint (II) (2023)

It's not Bob Ross..

[10/10 · 17 May 2023]

Well it's funny and rubbish but thats why it's funny. Of course everyone thought it was going to be about Bob Ross...it's not! Owen Wilson is excellent. The budget must have been $100 it's a very easy shoot and a simple script but that doesn't make it bad. So I liked it, it feels like an Australian Student film and that is all I want to say for this review so now I have to find two hundred and four characters to fill the void. I suppose I should mention Wendy but she really doesn't have much of a part but all of them are a good solid cast. Simple acting and Storytelling. And now finally I can stop.

Linoleum (2022)

Perculiar..

[4/10 · 6 May 2023]

It's a odd movie, they are an odd couple with an odd relationship to each other and their kids...I'm not sure what they are trying to do with it and what they are getting at. But there's 10 minutes left and they are trying to slow mo everything together to make sense. The acting is great, real solid. Nicely shot, it starts brilliantly and is a steady plod but does it really lead anywhere? I suppose it's about death and whether you have furfilled your dreams, your destiny. Nope, I'm confused, I don't know whos who and who's doing what in this last 10 minutes so my score has reflected that because quite frankly after this ending I don't know what I've been watching!

Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

What on Earth???

[4/10 · 4 April 2023]

I'm not sure what the film makers were thinking...it's mad enough but that's about it. Our main man seems to have what I would call ADHD and although it is hilarious in parts it's a bit too way out there...I think it's the time frame...nothing quite hits the mark, with it just being absurdity after absurdity, maybe it's the editing, maybe it's the music, maybe it's the acting... I do know though that if this can get made then there is hope for everyone trying to make a Movie in Hollywood. So I just ended up feeling I was missing something about the movie, it seemed rushed without any character building, in fact you end up hating the characters, all of them.

Rhinoceros (1974)

Dated Nonsense

[3/10 · 6 February 2023]

I watched this because it's Gene Wilder. I understand that it comes from the Theatre of the Absurd. Maybe they didn't have the budget or maybe it was too dangerous but there are no live Rhinoceroses in this movie!! Lol...There are some good abstract/surreal images in the movie and for that it's good but the nonsense storyline gets boring quick as does the incompetent movements half slapstick half acrobat. I get that, that is the style but as mentioned, it's very dated and we'll just not funny, not even nearly funny, just annoying. On another note, everyone looks dirty!! Their hair, their teeth, their clothes, their environment...all dirty!!

From Bedrooms to Billions (2014)

Excellent...

[10/10 · 8 January 2023]

This Director and Producer really know how to make great Documentaries. This is the first in a series of 3 about the birth of the UKs Home Computer/Gaming scene. They interview key players in the industry, discussing the rise and fall of Sinclair, Commodore etc. Mathew Smith of Manic Miner fame is interviewed along with loads and loads of Game Makers. The other 2 Documentaries in the series deal with the Sony PlayStation and the Amiga....and dare I say those too are excellent. There is one other Documentary in the pipeline specifically about the ZX Spectrum. These are very specific, informative and very well made Docos with great production values and rammed with information. Indeed each one it over 2hs 30mins in length.

Licorice Pizza (2021)

Boring, trite and tedious...

[3/10 · 5 January 2023]

I love the way this is shot, it's very fluid, brilliantly done but it makes me feel itchy, everyone looks like they are ill...the colour grading of the film looks ill too..weird I know but there you go!. The story is going nowhere, I'm not interested, it's Teens pretending to be Adults, everyone is trying to be older than they are. It's precocious, pretentious and unwelcome. I don't want to look into this boring world of make-believe. It got interesting for a minute when our guy got arrested but nothing happened just like the whole movie, nothing of note happens...it's keeps setting things up where you think something will but it never does.... I'm glad I waited and watched this for free on Prime as I would have walked out of the Cinema.