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Reviews
Séance (2006)
Talk about wanting to be on the other side...
...because I was tempted to switch over when this was on my TV.
From the opening credits I was convinced this was a made-for-TV movie from the US. For a good 45 minutes in, it wouldn't have been out of place on Nick at Night. It has the look and feel of something filmed in one studio over the course of about 3 days.
The actors are serviceable, but nothing outstanding. The production design can barely be commented on other than "rooms and corridors". Special effects and any kind of gore appear for about 5 seconds and aren't very effective. I laughed when they probably intended me to go "Ew!" It was only when we saw a nipple and someone said 'F***' that I realised this may not be made for TV (HBO or Showtime wouldn't let something this cruddy be made). Something extremely rare happened - I actually fast-forwarded through some parts. Pointless dialogue mainly.
I don't think I've given such a low rating to a film on here yet, but this only gets a 2/10. I couldn't wait for it to be over.
Dark Ride (2006)
Welcome To The House of 'Meh'.
There is really very little to recommend this film. It's like an extended episode of Scooy Doo with a bit of gore. A cast of relative unknowns (all of them, apart from the girl from The Sopranos) injured to some extent by their falls out of the ugly tree (a younger Paul Rudd lookalike with a wonky eye?)
You really don't care who lives or dies - in fact I was hoping they'd all be dead by the end. In a movie with a runtime of 83 minutes before the credits roll, you'd expect the first main character would die a little sooner than 60 minutes in. Instead we have to suffer an hour of overacting and bad dialogue. The main 'twist' is blatantly obvious from the point at which they give the first 'clue' (they may as well have had Bill holding up a sign saying 'I am the younger brother' for all the subtlety it contained). There is no tension, generic scares from things suddenly popping out at you (in a ghost train, who'da thunk it?) and some of the gore effects look like they were done 25 years ago. When Jen takes off her shirt for the obligatory breast-shot, the camera pans up and down her torso for NO other reason than to get a close up. It's not sexy, it's like watching a medical documentary, or when the woman runs across the screen in Airplane! - it's that pointless.
The ending is ridiculous, the film just STOPS, like they ran out of money and couldn't afford to film anymore. There are more plot holes than a graveyard. Don't bother with this movie.
The Mad (2007)
A film that sways around like a zombie.
This film is as messy as a zombie chowing down on guts. Considering it's only 80-odd minutes long, it takes a good half hour to get going. It's certainly a quirky film, there are some bits which are genuinely funny, and none at all that are scary or particularly horrifying - not quite sure what the DVD has that makes it "unrated" to be honest! Billy Zane is okay, although UK viewers may find his resemblance to "Les" from Vic Reeves Big Night Out a little disconcerting. All other actors do their jobs well enough, but they can't carry the comedy. The script tries to be too clever and/or postmodern for its own good sometimes, and any humour, irony or subtle comedy just doesn't work. Shaun Of The Dead (to which this film owes a huge debt) did it all so much better.
One scene with Amy and her dad walking through the field, dissecting their lives whilst kicking a couple of zombies to death without pausing for breath is the best scene in the film - unfortunately spoiled by inappropriate background music which just does not fit.
The director refers to this film as "social commentary" - he believes the zombies have a lust for consumption, of any material goods - but this isn't brought across to the screen. They just look like typical zombies destroying a car, it doesn't make you think "Wow, what a subtle insight into American materialism." Worth seeing only if it costs you nothing, you have 85 spare minutes, and you'll watch anything with zombies and/or cows in it.
Little Children (2006)
Satisfying
Comparisons to American Beauty are inevitable for this film. Curious happenings in suburban America, characters with secrets and hidden thoughts and desires, falling apart whilst trying to maintain a cover of coping with life as it is.
It is a very well-shot film, the tone of everything is just right. Kate Winslet is excellent as usual and Patrick Wilson just gets better with each film he does. The supporting cast is also excellent, especially Jackie Earl Haley who lends the role of Ronnie a delicate balance of menace and pity. Always a pleasure to see Jane Adams play one of her mousy nervous characters too.
Clocking in at over 2 hours, the film may seem a little long, and it does feel like a good 2 hours, but there aren't really any wasted scenes. The narrator used at the start of the film seems to taper off towards the end which seems a little odd. The use of it felt almost 'lazy' in a way - as if the filmmaker thought he couldn't get across the emotions of the character through acting or dialogue, so the audience had to have it spelled out to them.
The ending of the film was a slight disappointment. I would have liked to have seen more crossover with the characters - to be honest I was expecting either Brad or Larry to walk into the playground and see Sarah and Lucy talking to Ronnie, misinterpret the situation and do something drastic. Or else Larry blamed Brad for the situation he'd got himself into, and so went and told Kathy what he'd seen on the football field. It felt like there needed to be more of an 'explosion'. But at the same time, the almost muted ending fitted with the tone of the rest of the film.
In any case, highly recommended.
The Return (2005)
Short, enjoyable thriller/chiller
I went into this film a little blind, not knowing whether it would be horror or thriller, and it errs more to thriller. At 75 minutes (by the time the credits start to roll) it's a very short ride, but it packs a lot in.
The filming style is something a little different for a movie in this genre. The colours are muted, the camera-work sometimes jerky. The 'scares' when they come are few and far between, and they're not even really that necessary. The whole tone of the film is subtle, it's not a loud film, I don't even remember much music.
Sarah Michelle Gellar is very good, although she only really has to spend her time looking confused or concerned. As a Brit who watched Aussie soap 'Neighbours' as a teenager, it was weird seeing Peter O'Brien - aka Shane Ramsey - popping up in a movie like this. My only criticism is the whole "psycho ex-boyfriend" angle - it was ultimately pointless and didn't even act as any kind of red herring.
Give this movie a try, it's not like it'll take very long!
Catch and Release (2006)
Meh.
This is a good movie. It's a nice movie. No-one tells anyone to F-Off. Well they do, but not really.
I only watched this because I was a big Alias fan and Jennifer Garner is in it. I hope this isn't the sort of film she's going to make a habit out of, because she's better than this.
Juliette Lewis was the standout in this film, essentially playing the "Juliette Lewis Part" she always plays, but it's nice to see her back on the screen again.
The cast was all good, a surprise to see Fiona Shaw in something like this, she does her best with a limited role.
From the blurbs I read when Jennifer first signed on for the film ("When her fiancée dies, she discovers hidden secrets from his past.") I was expecting an Ashley Judd thriller, not a rom-com. Who knows, maybe it would have been a bit more exciting if he'd killed someone.
It's a good film, at 110 minutes I'd say it was too long, but worth seeing on a Sunday afternoon.
A Secret Handshake (2007)
Amateur Hour
This a strange little film. Every aspect screams "amateur" - the acting quality is a tiny notch above porn, the script trips into cliché at the worst moments, the direction is clumsy, the lighting (when they use any) veers between daylight or an 80s soft-rock ballad video. However, the story is great. I didn't see what was coming (truth be told it would be hard to predict) but there were clues planted along the way when you look back on it.
Whether this all makes sense is another matter, but maybe that's the point. I enjoyed watching it - it was wanting to know what happened at the end that kept me going, even though all through it I kept thinking "This is so bad..." The last 60 seconds of the film, however, should have been cut, as they ultimately spoil it.
Give this story to some new writers, director and cast, and it could have been a hit.