jamesparsons9393 Reviews

Terminator Salvation (2009)

Nothing special, average action scifi

[5/10 · 24 August 2023]

This is surely much better if you enjoy movies like Transformers and post-apocalyptic films like Mad Max set in desert type environments. I have no attraction to either of these, so Salvation is mostly a miss for me. Lots of huge action with robots, loud sound fx, quick edits, etc... a few good moments with the main characters but overall nothing special. Reminds me a lot of scifi movies that flopped in the late 90s/early 2000s because there's just no real substance. Genisys is a much more enjoyable entry in the franchise with a lot more character. I may watch this one more time like 20 years from now, or maybe not.

Hang 'Em High (1968)

Could have been great, definitely doesn't deserve its status

[4/10 · 25 January 2022]

Starts off with a bang in the excellent opening sequence, but quickly turns into a mediocre drama that is a bore to watch. The good moments are when Clint is off doing his thing, tracking down the guys who did him wrong. Unfortunately those moments are few and the bulk of the film is spent in this town with a hanging stage, long drawn out scenes that are just a total bore to sit through.

Run (1994)

main value here is as a curiosity

[5/10 · 25 January 2022]

Kind of interesting, but the original is superior in pretty much every way and setting this remake in Mexico really doesn't make any sense. The main character being Chinese creates a lot of problems with the story, like the criminal with the gun guitar case just happens to also be Chinese, and somehow the guy stumbles upon a Chinese crew in this Mexican town? The main value here is as a curiosity, but I can't say I really like this movie all that much...

The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)

Flaws are too heavy to ignore

[3/10 · 17 December 2021]

This could have been a decent direct to video type action movie if it was handled by a director/production crew who knew/cared about what they were doing. The are enough interesting elements, a different kind of setting and a good enough cast, except the main bad guy is completely ridiculous & miscast, and scenes from the original movie are so poorly recreated as to make me actually cringe. If you're able to look past these huge weakpoints, maybe you can enjoy this for what it is, but for me its too glaring to see past.

Decadent Evil (2005 Video)

Enjoyable if you like Charles Band & Full Moon

[6/10 · 17 November 2021]

I had never heard of this Charles Band movie, probably because its not on the actual Full Moon label but its still a Charles Band movie through and through. You get several minutes of intro credits, followed by a pretty long scene of a stripper stripping and the end credits roll for 7 minutes lmao. The movie's runtime is only like 1hr5m so by the time this is all factored in, its like 45 minutes worth of movie. Still, pretty entertaining with some very funny parts and lots of T&A.

The Stand (2020–2021)

Superficial and worse than the original

[4/10 · 15 November 2021]

I gave this series a shot after hearing about how much better it was than the original mini series, and well, its clear the person who said this doesn't really understand what makes a movie/show good beyond superficial elements. This adaptation lacks all the character that made the original so enjoyable, and it lacks all the originality present in the novel. Its worth a one time watch if you're a fan of King and his book, but its not much value beyond that.

The Apartment Complex (1999 TV Movie)

This was surprisingly good..

[7/10 · 4 November 2021]

Pretty funny, weird and enjoyable. It seemed like it was going to be terrible at first because it was quite obviously a made for TV production, but quickly won me over. It managers to be light-heartedly quirky without being obnoxious or cheesy in an annoying way, and lots of genuine laughs. Too bad there is no quality release of the film.

Apache Junction (2021)

Another dud

[1/10 · 29 September 2021]

Let me preface this by saying I've watched hundreds of westerns including some of the absolute lowest budget productions out there and I do not require good acting, high production value or any of that to enjoy a western. The problem with Apache Junction is its just another modern production with zero character. The direction is boring and the cinematography is non existent - lots of close in shots that are tight on the characters, something that was obnoxious 10 years ago & I'd hope would have fallen out of style by 2021. This movie is completely by the numbers & not in a good way. Its such a drag I tried 3 times to watch it and could not make it through.

The Resonator: Miskatonic U (2021)

Not so bad

[5/10 · 27 September 2021]

The really bad reviews must be written by people completely unfamiliar with Full Moon. If you know Full Moon & have appropriate expectations, this is certainly one of their more enjoyable features in recent years IMO. Its not a bunch of silly nonsense played as a big joke like the bulk of Full Moon's current catalogue. The story is told straight, with effects that stay in line with the original film and also includes some direct tie ins. The main problem with this movie is the overly attractive fashion model style cast. The movie could gain a few more levels of credibility & seriousness if it would have just cast real looking people, instead of eye candy. I'm sure plenty of the Full Moon fanbase won't take any issue with the hot girls in schoolgirl uniforms though.

Blade the Iron Cross (2020)

Actually not that bad

[5/10 · 26 September 2021]

Its very low budget and has some problems with time period accuracy in regards to props and other things, but if you have a serious aversion to these kinds of issues then I'm not sure how you're even aware this film exists. This has the Full Moon charm without the trying-to-be-funny-bad-cheesiness present in so much of their modern catalogue. The story almost feels like some offshoot of Reanimator with the animation solution being used by a Nazi mad scientist to experiment on dead humans. I was expecting much worse, but this is an enjoyable late night viewing & the short runtime works to the film's advantage.

Retro Puppet Master (1999 Video)

Surprisingly enjoyable

[6/10 · 29 April 2021]

I put off watching this for years because nothing about it interested me. The art style & look of the puppets seemed terrible and this just looked all around bad. But it was actually pretty good for what it is, something I've found to be true for a few of the latter sequels in this franchise. I particularly enjoyed the Dark City rip-off Men In Black guys (they even do the "Sleep" handwave). Its not stupid goofy comedy BS, but a straightforward fantasy piece with some decent atmosphere and camerawork. Give it a shot.