mgressma Reviews

Fury (1955–1960)

Ah, Saturday mornings!

[7/10 · 7 June 2006]

It's funny, I had completely forgotten the name of the show, but I remember watching "Fury" on Saturday mornings as a kid. I knew it starred Peter Graves, so it was easy using IMDb to find the name of the show. The only episode I can remember off-hand is one where an aunt comes to the Broken Wheel to live, and one day while the men were out, she cleans up the house and re-decorates with white curtains and table cloths and such, so that when the guys return, it's completely unrecognizable! They think they're in the wrong house. Well, gotta go, Bugs Bunny is on and then "Sky King."

Mike Gressman

The Holy Girl (2004)

A complete waste of time

[1/10 · 14 April 2005]

It's movies like this that give "arthouse" movies a bad name. This movie is pure cinematic gibberish. It begins nowhere and ends in the same place (I think). I say, I think, because I didn't stay until the end. My friend walked out about 20 minutes before me. I said I was going to stick it out, but I couldn't take it, and had to get out. This movie is senseless, unbearably so. If there was anything at all, a coherent story, some movement, a sympathetic character, anything, I would have stayed to the end, but this movie has nothing going for it. I must say though, there were some incredible shots of the backs of people's ears, but other than that, nothing.

After the Sunset (2004)

Inspiration for all wannabe screenwriters.

[1/10 · 10 November 2004]

If you're a screenwriter having trouble with your screenplays, thinking that they just aren't good enough to get made, don't fret. Because if this screenplay can get filmed, anything can! "After the Sunset" is just awful. It's brutally bad. I can't believe that I sat through the whole thing. I was tempted every five minutes or so to walk out. This is a heist movie where the heist is so incredibly implausible that it was just stupid. In my mind there has to be at least a miniscule possibility that the scheme would work, but there wasn't even that. There are holes in the plot that don't make any sense, as if the screenwriter said "what the heck this is a good scene, who'll notice that it blows a huge hole in the story." As for the actors, I'm disappointed more than anything. Any bimbo could have played the Salma Hayak part. There must have been 10 scenes where the only noticeable quality was her cleavage. As for Pierce Brosnan, let's face it, if he's not playing James Bond, he's nothing. Don Cheadle, a very good actor, unfortunately is saddled with the most insipid dialogue in the film. A wasted performance. Woody Harrelson is OK. At the end of the day though, I'm sure all the principals just did this stupid movie for the money and a chance to spend time in a fabulous location on someone else's dime. I guess I can't really blame them for that.

Nosey Parker (2003)

Real Life meets Reel Life

[8/10 · 13 November 2003]

"Nosey Parker" is a delightful combination of fact and fiction. John O'Brien, the creative force behind the movie, takes two actors, Natalie and Richard, and inserts them in his (O'Briens) hometown of Tunbridge, Vermont. Most of the other characters are denizens of Tunbridge, with George Lyford taking on the starring role as himself. John O'Brien was a guest at the screening I attended. He said the story is loosely sketched out beforehand, and then he gives the actors free reign to improvise during filming. The result is wonderful. I enjoyed this movie from the opening credits, which in themselves are amazingly imaginative, to the end. The movie will probably go straight to video, unless there is a clamoring for it (which I recommend) but either way, see it.

Mail Order Bride (2003)

One of the worst movies ever.

[1/10 · 29 October 2003]

This is without a doubt, one of the worst movies ever. I saw it at a screening where we had the bad-director-terrible-actor-atrocious-screenwriter as a guest. He seems like a nice guy, but how he ever got this movie made is beyond me. One of the producers was also a guest, and from the stories he told, I think a documentary or mockumentary about the making of this movie would have been infinitely more enjoyable. Then again, any old 8mm home movie would be more enjoyable.

The Emperor's Club (2002)

Bad first half, nice comeback in the second.

[13 November 2002]

I did not like this movie at all until it made it to the adult world. Every scene in the rich-kids boys school was predictable, boring and has been done to death. I'm also not a big fan of Kevin Kline (yes, I'm the one), but he does a commendable job in his role as the "cool teacher" who everyone loves. I almost fell asleep a few times, but I'm glad I stayed awake until graduation, because the scenes subsequent to that and the ending are worth waiting for.

Standing in the Shadows of Motown (2002)

The "Funk Brothers" in the spotlight

[6 November 2002]

This is an excellent documentary film. I didn't know any of the "Funk Brothers" before seeing the movie, but when it was over I felt like I've known them all my life. There is a perfect blend of current interviews, older interviews with now deceased "Funk Brothers", re-enactments of humerous incidents from "the day", and the music. And through it all, the "Funk Brothers" are in the spotlight, mostly together, but we get to meet them all individually as well.

The filmmakers are to be commended for such a wonderful effort. Hopefully, the movie will provide the "Funk Brothers" some long overdue rewards for their efforts.

Love in the Time of Money (2002)

Nothingness to the n-th degree

[1/10 · 16 October 2002]

This movie starts slow, then tapers off. After watching for about an hour, and seeing absolutely nothing happen, I walked out. I mean, nothing happened. Zero. Zip. Nada. There is no story. The characters are vague representations of the most boring people any of us know. The producers of this film could be sued in a court of law if they try to sell it as a "motion" picture. There is no motion. I could have told the same "story" with a couple still pictures with captions. The script is a joke. It's just awful. I doubt that any script doctor in the world could save it. My biggest regret is not that I wasted 60 minutes of my life watching "Love In the Time of Money", but that I missed a great opportunity to be a leader. I could have been the first to walk out, but I waited a bit too long. Instead, I watched about 20 people walk out before me.

Knockaround Guys (2001)

The worst movie of the century.

[9 October 2002]

I can't believe how bad this movie is. The script is laughable.

All I can say about the performances is, the post office must have been busy when it was made, because it looks to me like the actors just mailed them in. My guess is, John Malkovich couldn't decide whether to play it like "The Godfather" or "Johnny Dangerously." His performance leans more towards Johnny Dangerously. Seth Green is the best of the lot. I was going to put in some info about the unoriginal, uninteresting, ending, but I won't. If you go see this movie, rest assured, the ending dones eventually arrive.

Skins (2002)

Excellent, thought provoking, depiction of Reservation life.

[3 October 2002]

"Skins" is much better than I thought it would be. I was expecting a stereo-typical rendition of life on an Indian Reservation, but instead was treated to an all-American story about a family with problems. It is a very well written story that really moves along. Going in, I thought it would be torture to sit through, but, it was over before I knew it, and was a delight all the way. As a result of seeing "Skins" I see Mt. Rushmore as the period at the end of a long and bloody sentence in the history of man in North America.

Just a Kiss (2002)

A little infidelity goes a long way

[25 September 2002]

It doesn't take much to set the dominoes of human relationships to tumbling. Sometimes all it takes is a kiss. In "Just a Kiss", one man, Dag, has a one-nighter with his best friends girl. This sets in motion a series of encounters that ultimately cause much pain and suffering and death. At least that's what we're led to believe. But the film uses gimmicks and "cleverness" to twist things around enough to provide a pat Hollywood ending. While watching the movie, I wasn't liking it much, but afterwards I came to like it a bit. I'm still not a fan of roto-scope, or roto-animation, or whatever it's called, ("Waking Life" may have put me off it forever), and even though it was used sparingly in this movie, I found it to be annoying. In the end, I'll probably recommend this movie to some people, but definitely not others

Lovely & Amazing (2001)

Meet the Marks Sisters

[9/10 · 8 May 2002]

You know the Marx brothers, now meet the Marks sisters, Michelle, Elizabeth, and Annie. Their mother is Jane, played by Brenda Blethyn. Michelle is trapped in a loveless, sexless marraige. Elizabeth is hooked up with a guy whose logical approach to life rivals that of Mr. Spock. And Annie is a very young black girl (I know this sounds like something out of a Steve Martin movie, but it's true), who is very attached to her adoptive mom. "Lovely & Amazing" is an entertaining movie about this crazy family. It has everything, liposuction, statutory rape, fast food, show business, and possibly rabies.

If you're tired of all the adolescent piffle that's out there, you should give this movie a look-see.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

If you want laughs, this is the movie to see.

[10/10 · 17 April 2002]

I hate to sound like a critic, but "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" is the best movie of the year. Nia Vardalos, the star and writer of this movie has created a masterpiece. Off the top of my head, I think only Neil Simon packs as many genuine laughs into his screenplays, as Nia does in this one.

Nia is wonderful as Toula Portokalos, and John Corbett is a perfect Ian Miller, her suitor. The performances of the other players are excellent across the board. From Michael Constantine (father Gus), to Lainie Kazan (mother Maria), to Andrea Martin (aunt Voula). Bess Meisler is a hoot as Gus's mother, recently brought over from Greece.

The story itself is a standard. Toula, 30, single, and "old looking" (her fathers words), is stuck in a dead end job as a waitress (she prefers the title "seating hostess"). She decides to go to college to study computer science, and, having taken this bold step out into the real world, a transformation occurs. She gains confidence, chucks her eyeglasses for contacts, and, after taking a job in her aunt's travel agency, attracts Ian. This all doesn't sit well with her father, only because Ian Miller is not Greek. If he were Greek, Gus would be in heaven, but there would be no movie.

Luckily for us, he isn't Greek, and there is this wonderful film. Gus puts up a bit of a fight over Ian's non-Greekness, but Maria intervenes, and sees the true love that Toula has found, which is something the whole family has been hopeing for. Ian's parents are quiet and reserved, providing the perfect contrast to the boisterous Portokalos clan. The courtship is brief and quickly progresses to the wedding, with many laugh filled moments in between. If given a chance, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" can be a huge success.

The Triumph of Love (2001)

This movie is pure torture.

[1/10 · 17 April 2002]

"The Triumph of Love" doesn't triumph over anything. It is a plodding, ponderous, 4 hours of torture. Actually it's a little less than 2 hours long, it just seemed much longer. It pains me to even think about the amateurish performances of such fine actors as Ben Kingsley and Fiona Shaw. The supporting players are not quite as awful. Maybe they were trying to be so over the top, so as to be clownish, but, if so, I didn't see it that way. Mira Sorvino doesn't make an impression one way or the other. She(he)'s just there. My guess is, the play of the same name, written by Marivaux some 270 or so years ago, is much better. It couldn't be any worse. Clare Peploe, the writer and director of this movie, was inspired by a recent production of the play. I don't know what she was thinking when she created this bomb.

Maybe it all got lost in the translation.

Human Nature (2001)

Wonderful, but not everyone's cup of tea.

[5 April 2002]

Finally, a definitive answer to the question, "What is human nature?" Actually, "Human Nature" is not the answer to that question, but it does address other issues, one of which is the nature of comedy. Many, if not most, people who see "Human Nature" will not care for it. I was going to say "not get it", but that is condescending. I think "Human Nature" is a hilarious comedy. It's extreme adsurdity makes it so. It combines elements of Pygmalion, Frankenstein and Tarzan into a wonderful, modern day farce. The story is about a love rectangle formed by Nathan Bronfman (Robbins), Lila Jute (Arquettte), Puff (Ifans), and Gabrielle (Otto). Nathan and Gabrielle are somewhat normal (as normal as two scientists can be), but Lila and Puff are a bit off center. She has a problem with body hair which covers her whole body, and Puff, was raised in the wild by his father, who thought he was a gorilla. The story is told through flashback by the dead Nathan, the testifying Puff, and the arrested Lila. Wonderfully done. The one question I had throughout was how Puff came to be testifying in front of congress. The answer was so pat and contrived it was funny. My advice is, go see this movie with 4 or 5 friends, and try and predict which one of you will like it. The rest will hate it.

American Chai (2001)

A good first effort.

[6/10 · 27 March 2002]

"American Chai" is a good effort by first time director Anurag Mehta. He also wrote the screenplay, which is OK, but not noteworthy in any way. There's nothing new to the story, a boy pursuing his dream of becoming a musician, even though his father wants him to be a doctor. The value of the film lies in the other conflict, between cultures. The American born son, Sureel, is all American, whereas the father still adheres to many Indian traditions. The film provides a tiny glimpse into this American/Indian culture.

Aalok Mehta, Anurag's real life brother, plays Sureel. To put it mildly, I think his acting leaves a lot to be desired. He's not alone in this regard. Aside from Paresh Rawal, who plays the father, most of the performances were merely adequate. This is not surprising, in that, Rawal is an accomplished performer in India.

The music was good, and I think Aalok has a future there, but otherwise, this is just a run-of-mill movie.