Change Your Image
surly_canadian
Reviews
Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999)
Bleah - spoilers
Now I'll be the first to admit it when I say something that may be blasphemous or unfair, so I would like to apologize in advance for my ranting about how much I disliked this movie.
That about sums it up too. I disliked this movie. To be more specific, I disliked the concept of this movie. The cinematography was good. The mood was nice. And the acting was satisfactory.
However, the story is fatuous, unacurate and misleading. It is also offensive.
I am a quarter Cree Indian, and for some reason I feel insulted, on a personal level, by the nature of Whitaker's character. First of all, he's a black guy. And this isn't a racist remark, I swear. The thought of a White, Hispanic or even Native American swinging a katana on a rooftop offends everything that the katana represents. The katana represents the soul of a Samurai, imbibed with the souls of his ancestors who guide and protect the Samurai. For Ghost Dog to use his guns instead of the Katana is also an insult to the blade and the souls inside, and where the heck did he get a Katana anyway? It must be one of those replicas, which insults the Samurai caste even more.
Also, Ghost Dog showed no honor. Near the end of the movie, he shoots a bodyguard in the back through a window and then assassinates a man by shooting him in the face through a faucet drain. Not only is this a cowards way to kill an enemy, it's more like a ninjas way; silent assassins; a group that samurais deny exists, but hates none-the-less.
Then he tries to kill his boss, when he finds out his boss is a baddie. You know what a true Samurai does when he learns his master is proven bad or dishonorable? He kills himself, to prove that he would rather die then lower himself to the level of his doggish master.
Everything about the character was a giant contradiction to the real code that all Samurai adhere to: Bushido.
So, we have great cinematography, good ambiance and so-so acting encompassing a satiricle plot and premise, (which unfortunately is the most important aspect of it) , making it an unsatisfactory overall film, and an insult to everything a honorable bushi(samurai) holds dear.
2.5/10 Bleah
X2 (2003)
Meh...
Caution*****Spoilers Present***
Well, I have to first clarify that I am in fact a massive X-Men fan. I used to own a few hundred(of varying series') old X-Men comics, and I remain a loyal follower to this day.
However, these comic-movie crosses continue to disgust me. Both films now are littered with inconsistencies and dead-end plots. argue with me and say that they're only SMALL indiscrepencies, but that is what irritates me the most....If they're such small freaking differences, WHY AREN'T THEY RIGHT!?!?!? One example from the first film is Wolverines' and Sabretooths' relationship....in that they had none. The only reason why Sabretooth has ever fought the X-Men is because of his feud with Wolverine. And the same goes for this second installment. First off, let me say that the performances in this film are all fantastic. Hugh, Ian, Patrick and Famke are great as the mutants with the most, all capturing the essence of their characters very well.
The special effects in the movie are great, every scene seemlessly flowing onscreen. The scene at the beginning with Nightcrawler fighting all of the secret service agents was incredible.
Kudos to the design team and costume designers, I really liked the costumes in this one much better, although I still wish they would make Wolverines trademark mask. The X-Mansion, Blackbird and military bases all looked superb and well though-out.
The story on the other hand was a tremendous let down, and the way most of the characters came together was insulting. Out of all of the wonderful, lush and creative storylines that have ever been written, I don't know why they would hire some people (who obviously don't know the characters well) to write a new plot. The X-Men roster itself is a twisted preschoolers vision of what it should have been. I can't stand the age difference of some of the most pivital characters and the twist put on their origins. Rogue is an example from the first film. She was originally supposed to be a part of the brotherhood of evil mutants and eventually join the X-Men with her stolen Ms. Marvels powers of flight and super-human strength. This age difference between her and the other major characters is disgusting, as is her relationship with Iceman. What ever happened to Gambit???
And the tiny cameos from other cool characters (the Beast in the newscast, Colossus and Gambits name present alongside Lensher) was too much of a tease. They hint at the potential of some great characters and they're wasting my time with Iceman and shadowcat.
It sure was nice to see Wolverines dry sense of humor though (getting Iceman to chill and warm soda) and him slashing and stabbing and maiming all sorts of people. I noticed a great deal more liberties they took in making X2 a little more violent and profane then the first one. But I sure was mad when they messed up Deathstrikes relationship with Wolverine. It must be nice to be Wolverine....he has no enemies of his own.
So, I give the production of the film a big thumbs up and hand over a rating of 5 out of 5, but take 2.5 back for the actual finished film. My dreams of a really good mutant movie have been plucked out of the sky two times out of two. And for the sake of Stan Lee, I hope the Pheonix hints all turn out for nought in the next film. The pheonix saga is far to lengthly and precise to be able to wrap up in ONE movie. Don't rewrite it to make it fit, or I will hate you forever.
Spider-Man (2002)
In the Hearts of True-Believers
I would just like to address all the people out there who complained, griped and otherwise whined about how "fake" and "unbelievable" it was. GROW UP!!! Jesus, are you people ever picky. One more thing, which will justify your complaints, but also explain why you're stupid to have them: IT'S NOT BASED IN REALITY!!!
That having been said I would now like to go into my review.
"Spider-Man", for all intended purposes delivered well, considering all the competition it had from other movies... among them, some science fiction movie....I can't remember the title.
Tobey Maguire did a fantastic job as Peter Parker/Spider-Man. His physical commitment to the film shows just the caliber of actor he really is and is a testament to his professionalism. The one thing that weirded the hell out of me, was his voice. When he yells, his voice actually gets higher in pitch. While he speaks, however, his voice carries well.
Kirsten Dunst is a fabulous actress. I've been following her since "interview", and she played the part well as MJ. Actually I had no problems with her until a friend of mine (a woman, of course) pointed out that she doesn't work as a redhead. She's too pale. True enough I figured...this friend of mine is a redhead with a darker complexion and shes Hot!
Willem Dafoe. I cant even begin to describe him. He's evil. He's cut-throat. He's a father. He has brought a performance so unique and interesting, that it can only be matched by Jack Nicholson. Or vise versa. Willem Dafoe is one of those cool actors who has done everything possible, so now he's earned the right to have a fun role. And you can tell he had fun in this role. Actually, he's cool just judging by his name. Willem, Willem, Willem....
Now the supporting cast. JK Simmons is a really good mean guy (REALLY REALLY GOOD) Rosemarry Harris is worrisome, and motherly, and Cliff Robertson dies. The supporting cast is all top-notch, they all pull their weight and carry their scenes well. As for JK Simmons....He MAKES a couple scenes as JJ.
The Special Effects were very good. I cant believe how many people complained of how fakely the movie represented a skinny (but built) teenager in a bright red and blue, skin-tight suit, swinging down 80 stories and recoiling up at speeds of 70 mph, while shooting out a sticky fluid out of his wrist as he chases down a green man in a bionic suit linked to a jet glider. Actually....now that I read what I just said....your right...how fake!!!! (idiots...)
And finally, because I fear I'm nearing 1000 words. I would like to rate this film 4.5 stars out of 5. If you want to know my other thoughts on Spider-man, e-Mail me....I love mail.
And for all you who think I'm too biased in favor of Spider-Man....why don't you tell that to my Spidey Tattoo?
High Fidelity (2000)
Do you have High Expectations for High Fidelity? warning: some Spoilers
I'd like to say that this movie was terrible, just so that I'd fit in with the crowd. Apparently, not many folks liked this movie. But, unfortunately for my reputation I must go against the masses and say that High Fidelity is one of my favorite movies! If I was to break it down by genre, I'd say it was my favorite romantic/comedy....mostly because most other romantic/comedies aren't really plausible. Usually they're a couple thrown into a horrible situation (like cheating) and then act like they hate each other and then fall in love again.
Anyway, High Fidelity is different because the characters are believable and very compassionate. I swear, a friend and I put names of people we knew to each of the characters in the movie and they worked out. Apparently I'm Barry (Jack Black), although I'd like to think of me as the respectably sensitive type.
Secondly, the use of music to express feelings that aren't apparent and emphasis the feelings that are. This is why music is put into films, and unfortunately a lot of movies just put songs that are hits into their movies so that they can sell a soundtrack. The music in High Fidelity was subtle and unique, and they didn't even stick with one genre of music like How High or Exit Wounds.
Also, the self discovering "what-does-it-all-mean" phase that Rob(Cusack) goes through is completely relatable to real people who go through breakups. And his attempt to remember the past, only to realize his memory isn't as good as he thought (breaking up with Penny) is so funny. I can't remember how many High Fidelity moments I've had.
The Comedy in High Fidelity is top notch, and one thing that really surprises my friends is that I'm not even that impressed with Jack Blacks' comedy. Don't get me wrong..Jack Black is fabulous, and his band, Tenacious D rocks...but since the things I say and do are so much like him....its the subtle John Cusack and Tim Robbins humor that really shocks and satisfies me.
I give High Fidelity an 8.5, because its one of the only well done romantic comedies of the late 90's that didn't take place in high school.
Boiler Room (2000)
If there was ever a horribly disappointing ending....
Contains Spoiler first off, let me say that this was a movie that I was very weary about when I first watched it. The only really promising detail that I could think of was that Affleck was in this movie, and as we all know...Affleck is a movie-maker. But regardless of how I felt about the rest of the cast -- and the concept for that matter, I watched the film, mostly because it was on cable. In the beginning, it was very slow...I was about to pop in Reservoir Dogs in for the millionth time, but then Ben graced the scene...I knew I had to at least watch his monologue. It saved two things...first of all, the film itself and second it saved me the trouble of finding Reservoir Dogs and popping it in and changing to channel 3.....blah blah blah. Then in Ben's absence, the other actors FINALLY started to carry their own weight properly. The character interaction between the Italians and the Jews was great. I laughed out loud and even committed a few lines to memory. But then the film slowed down again, and I pulled out my toenail clippers...the reaction my dog had to the sound of my toenails being trimmed became more entertaining then the film. Then Seth got caught, and he makes a deal with the feds (damn feds). Then he gets Chris to sign the sales slip and tells him. good! It's picking up, I thought. Then the buses and federal van pulled up. I was all like, "cool, we'll see some great court scenes..." The End. ........ ........ The End? .......? .......? o...kay. If there was ever an ending that ever left more questions unanswered then there were plot twists and character development in the whole movie...this is it. What happened to Seth? His dad? What about Chris? Or Seths' relationship with Abby? What about the poor guy who got swindled (Max?) Did his wife come back to him? I don't know...why don't I know? ask Ben Younger. I give the beginning of the movie a 6, the middle a 8.5 and the ending a 3, as in the amount of sleep I got that night because I was trying to figure out the unanswered questions. Thank you. If any of you want a copy of the real ending, I wrote one myself to ease my mind, email me and I'll send you one. Even Ben Younger gets a copy...call me Ben.
Training Day (2001)
Geat, Superb, Top Notch, A lot of all right!!!
"Today's the training day officer Hoit." -Denzel Washington, Training Day
As an avid movie fan, I have obviously been following Denzels career, and I have to say that the man never seems to leave me unhappy with his performance. Now, he's done a lot of great movies; Virtousity, Fallen, Hurricaine, Remember the Titans, and though they are all well acted, they are also the same type of character, calm, quiet and cool. Olonso in Training day is different. He's a 'brotha', he's a scoundrel and he's out of control. Great new role for Washington. Ethan Hawke is a name I have stayed away from, I never really liked great expectations or gattaca, but I did like him immensly in TD. I will follow his career with great interest. TD is one of my top 5 all time favorite movies, on the scale of smart dialogue, funny irony and good acting. Which of the top five is it....I don't know.
"It really turned out to be a nice day, but it'll get darker, I garantee you that" -Denzel Washington, Training Day