smokehill retrievers Reviews

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

Far better than these reviews

[8/10 · 13 April 2015]

It ain't GONE WITH THE WIND or even BLAZING SADDLES ....

but it was funny, and clever, and I enjoyed it -- giving out more than a few belly laughs, though the fart and sh*t jokes get a bit tired.

I have not seen a lot of Seth McFarlane stuff, and I'm definitely older than the target audience (pushing 70), but I'm a huge fan of Robot Chicken, South Park, and anything from Mel Brooks, so I'm not exactly the tired old coot with no sense of humor who doesn't get the dark-funny in LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (the original masterpiece). And I enjoyed this movie, period.

It's a long way from the polished, chock-full parody of BLAZING SADDLES or other Mel Brooks films, but still worth watching. I'm looking forward to the next viewing since I missed the first ten minutes or so, and undoubtedly missed a few jokes among the parts I did see.

I have only one regret -- that they didn't spend an extra six months on the writing, or even hired a few more writers, which might have brought it up to the Mel Brooks level. I believe it could have been done, and probably should have. For instance ... after the sheep-in-the-whorehouse joke, sometime later I would have shown a sheep wearing one of those little chrome change-making devices.

The DuPont Show of the Month: Harvey (1958) Season 2, Episode 1

Charming film I've always loved.

[9/10 · 18 August 2014]

I remember this film so well, though I was only about eleven or twelve when I saw it. I'm not sure if I had seen the Jimmy Stewart version before, but I THINK I had.

I would love to see this version again. I loved Art Carney's interpretation and would like to see how it stacks up against the "original" that i have now seen ... I dunno, maybe 25 times.

I also thoroughly enjoyed Harry Anderson's version, though to me his performance seemed .... well, rushed. I suppose he was trying to put a slightly different personality into the role, and I believe that is a good thing to do. I just liked the slower-paced, more relaxed Elwood that Jimmy Stewart showed us. That Elwood seemed happier ... or at least more contented ... than Harry's version. And that's the Elwood I would prefer to sit down and have a quiet drink with. And with Harvey, too, of course.

In many ways I preferred Swoosie Kurtz's interpretation of Veda, Elwood's sister, to the admittedly fabulous "original" one. And I did enjoy the rocking chair at the end ... definitely different from the Stewart ending, but I did like it very much. I recall the Carney ending as being similar to the "original," though I believe that we saw Harvey's shadow right before the fadeout. Not positive, though, which is one reason I'd love to see it again.

It would be nice to have Art Carney's version to see, as an adult, so I could really compare it with the others.

Boston Legal: Dances with Wolves (2008) Season 5, Episode 3

Great Episode

[10/10 · 8 August 2014]

Unlike the last reviewer, I realized that Boston Legal is a comedy, not some politically-correct rant against white folks.

There was hardy anything shocking about an African-American guy threatening & robbing a prosperous white guy in a Boston parking garage. Perhaps the first reviewer wouldn't have been so offended if he had spent a few years in Boston itself, not just lived somewhere in the same State. Been mugged there myself -- though unfortunately for the mugger, it ended badly for him.

Though the first reviewer was outraged by the fact that Denny Crain shot more than once, I most certainly am not.

Perhaps if the first reviewer developed an actual sense of humor, and understood the difference between a cop reality show and an actual COMEDY, he might actually have enjoyed the brilliant writing and humor in this episode, instead of trying to turn it into some narcissistic ego trip to polish up his progressive credentials.

Boston Legal was one of the best-written and superbly-cast comedies ever seen on television, and its ending was a terrible loss for everyone with an ounce of intellect and a sense of humor.

I will never go fishing again without seeing Denny Crain going after the salmon with his 12-gauge -- something every fisherman understands all too well.

The Godfather Legacy (2012 TV Movie)

Michael Wasn't the Bad Guy Here

[8/10 · 1 December 2013]

While I really did enjoy the various insights by the director & actors, I disagree very much with what all their opinions were of the basic story and "what it all meant." Basically, they all see Michael as a tragic figure, cursed because he did such ""unspeakable" acts during his life.

Maybe they should actually watch their own movie, since I have a much different view -- and I've lost track of how many times I've watched the entire series ... 20? More, maybe.

Michael didn't start this war -- it was thrust upon him by Solozzo, Tattaglia, Barzini & the rest. They started this, strictly to eliminate the Corleone family for opposing Solozzo's new project, and apparently all of the Five Families were involved. They also deliberately corrupted Michael's family (both blood and business partners) to further the elimination of the Corleone Family. The murders and assassination attempts are pretty obvious to anyone who's seen the films.

These "evil acts" did not stem any inherent criminality or evil intent on Michael's part. Keep in mind that he wanted nothing to do with the family business and avoided it completely -- until the murderous machinations of the Five Families forced him to act TO PROTECT HIS FAMILY. No other motive is evident on his part, period. If he hadn't stepped in to stop the destrucion of his family, who would? Fredo? The Tooth Fairy?

Everything stems from the evil acts of others, and he just did what was necessary to save those he loved, nothing more.

Was Michael a tragic figure -- yes, obviously. But it was not his doing, and if he had NOT done what he thought necessary, give some thought as to what might have been the outcome, and whether any Corleone would have been left alive.

Sherlock: A Scandal in Belgravia (2012) Season 2, Episode 1

Much Better Than I Expected

[8/10 · 10 May 2012]

When I first heard about this, I could feel my gorge rise and my skin crawl. To me Jeremy Brett is Sherlock Holmes ... end of discussion. Those adaptations were as close to perfection as we are ever likely to see: casting was perfect throughout, scripts were excellent & true to the books, sets & locations were beautifully done.

Bringing Holmes "up to date" -- yuk. It's been tried, and it's always the dog's breakfast. Downey comes to mind here ....

I admit to having trouble with the first couple of episodes ... ye gods, Watson BLOGGING the adventures???? But it quickly grew on me, and the many sneaky references to the early stories -- even ones that never existed -- hooked me, with no small credit to the writers. Injecting a bit of humor was definitely a great idea.

Overall, I am really pleased with this new approach, and eagerly look forward to each new one. Having the new Holmes follow the Jeremy Brett adventures on our channel ... at first I thought it was a mistake and that the new one would suffer by comparison. However, I was dead wrong. Though I am a hard-core "originalist," I move from one to the other with great ease, and much pleasure.

Straw Dogs (2011)

A Real Dog

[17 August 2011]

While there are probably people out there who could pull off a remake of the classic Straw Dogs, this isn't the group.

I tried real hard to like this film since I'm a huge fan of Walton Goggins, but this should have been left on the shelf.

The actress playing the wife did a rather good job, though, in a role that is not easy to pull off and achieve a believable balance.

Overall I wouldn't give this more than about 4 or 5 points.

Next time someone tries this I really hope they can give us something worth watching. This is a truly worthwhile script that can be done better, perhaps even better than the original. I'd like to see that.

The Howards of Virginia (1940)

Very good, overall

[8/10 · 4 July 2010]

I was a bit surprised to see so many other reviewers panning this film, since I had seen it once before and thought it was quite good. I watched it again, and I still believe it's a far better-than-average costume drama.

Several people thought Cary Grant was miscast, and even criticized his British accent. Well, what accent do you think a British citizen from the 1760s WOULD have? His character was a "low-born" British colonist, for crying out loud! I thought he did well, definitely playing against type, and I thought his actual British origins, hardly high-born, made him an excellent choice for the part. His character's progression over time, in this film, was believable and, I thought, well done. I suspect it parallels, in some ways, Grant's life changes from humble British kid to acclaimed Hollywood star.

The film itself, with its use of the colonial Williamsburg settings and attention to detail about frontier life, was refreshing, as of course was the excellent casting overall. I also thought the very realistic historical treatment was commendable, laying out clearly many of the controversies and issues facing the colonies during these times. I'd recommend it for kids, especially, since what they get for American history class about this period of time is truly awful -- what little there is.

I'd give it a solid 8, easily.

The Truth About Charlie (2002)

Simply Awful

[1/10 · 17 January 2010]

Other reviewers have explained just why this is a ghastly embarrassment, so I won't belabor the point.

I would like, however, to nominate this as possibly the worst remake in history.

Its only real competition, perhaps, is the little-known (thankfully) musical version of Lost Horizons.

The Lost Horizons remake had the advantage, however, of being hilarious to watch if you had a few drinks and some popcorn, and needed a really good laugh.

This dreadful thing, though, is just tedious and embarrassing to everyone who was roped into participating.

Semper Fi: One Marine's Journey (2007 TV Movie)

Glossing Over the Health Risk

[1/10 · 19 August 2009]

Considering that the rate of STDs, including HIV-AIDS, is astronomical in gay males of normal military age (18-40) -- compared to straight males -- and that the solder or Marine next to you is your blood bank for direct transfer (still used in combat, such as in the Blackhawk Down incident) .... I'm just staggered that no one bothers to even mention this when discussing the issue of gays in the military.

The actual rate of HIV infection is roughly 30 times higher among gay males compared to everyone else, and similar rates for all STD's, including syphilis.

Doesn't it sink in that there is a REASON that each soldier's blood type is stamped on his dog tags? No, thanks. Combat wounds usually heal, for the most part. What our veterans do NOT need is a bout of AIDS added, for them -- and their family -- to enjoy for the rest of their lives.

Basically, this film was just the usual left-wing, feel-good propaganda for people that have no real understanding of the whole issue.

I am not impressed. Neither was I surprised when our joke of a national government jammed gays down the Defense Department's throat -- not a bad analogy, actually. Wait until you see what the AIDS budget for the Veterans Administration will expand to in the next five or ten years ....

The Twonky (1953)

Surprisingly good, considering

[9/10 · 15 April 2009]

Keeping in mind that the entire budget was probably more than Spielberg spends for lunch, this was not bad, especially for '52-53.

Somewhat different from Henry Kuttner's original story (where the twonky was a console radio set), I still really liked it. We just need to keep in mind the time it was made.

I've always liked Hans Conreid & thought he was a good pick for this role. It wouldn't have worked as a drama, but as a comedy -- great! As a long-time sci-fi & horror fan, I'm amazed that I had no idea this film existed until I stumbled across it on Turner Classic today.

Henry Kuttner, the short story author, also wrote the short story ("Mimsy Were the Borogoves") that was turned into the feeble "The Last Mimzy." For anyone who appreciates sci-fi from The Golden Age, it's well worth tracking down both of these. Kuttner died in his 30s of a heart attack, cheating us out of what should have been some great work.

One Million B.C. (1940)

Hysterical Morality Play

[7/10 · 10 February 2007]

This has to be one of the funniest, most simple-minded morality plays ever put out by the mincing socialist nancy-boys in La-la-Land. With a couple of huge bowls of popcorn and a few alcoholic beverages -- or the recreational substance of your choice -- there is no better way to spend a few hours laughing at the primitive attempts of the early Hollywood leftists to influence political dialogue.

Note the evil, crude, warlike Republicans .... er, "Rock People" ... a pack of dirty, hairy, unkempt thugs who live in filthy caves, hate everyone and everything, murder poor innocent animals to eat meat, and generally are just plain nasty, hurting everything they touch. Not a very attractive group. We're never sure why they keep those nasty, vicious-looking Irish Wolfhounds that never help them hunt or do anything else, but it's just the sort of thing those awful conservatives would keep. Think of them as prehistoric Pit Bulls.

Then when Victor Mature is cast out and saved by those wonderful Communis ... er, "Shell People," he sees the delight of socialist cooperation where everyone smiles a lot and laugh, eat mostly fruit and vegetables, and are so, so culturally advanced -- their so-called speech is lilting and musical, instead of guttural conservative grunts; they have musical instruments and methods of signalling, and only use their next-generation spears to kill fish ... no doubt with much regret and tenderness. They help each other, are kind, and though we don't see any pets, we're fairly certain they probably have a Persian cat or a Lhasa Apso or a tropical aquarium there somewhere, hidden behind their communal food locker. And of course the village helps with the children playing merrily in this tropical paradise located apparently only a short walk from the craggy active volcanoes of the Republican Tribe.

Since this was manufactured by Hollywood leftists, they diddle with the facts and history in order to make things fit in their Communist ...er, socialist .... paradise. We're not sure what those big lizards with rubber prosthetics are supposed to represent -- maybe the Nazis, or Herbert Hoover, or Standard Oil, or the Rockefeller/DuPont/Hearst cabal. As our heroes show, it's best to just keep out of their way and avoid confrontation (worked so well for Neville Chamberlain that year).

All in all, this hysterical morality play is almost as silly as the Scientology space fantasy they sell to only their "advanced" students. But unlike Scientology, this one is genuinely funny and can be enjoyed with pizza and beer.

I believe I'd give it at least a 7, maybe more for those cow ponies decorated up with plastic ox horns and buffalo hides. Loved it.

This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse (1967)

Third-world Oddity

[5/10 · 20 January 2007]

I often tell my friends who haven't lived in the Third World that they can't really appreciate just how primitive and downright "alien" their cultures are without seeing some of their films. Most Americans and Europeans tend to think of South & Central American countries and cultures as being pretty much the same as ours, with just perhaps a bit less education and opportunities. Seeing what entertainment "works" in those countries should divest anyone of those illusions and, perhaps, help explain why most of the Third World is mired in poverty and tyranny, enslaved to whichever tin-pot dictator, witch doctor or "church" is marketing their product effectively this week. From that standpoint, I heartily recommend suffering through this dreadful little potboiler strictly as a learning experience.

Definitely a primitive, simple-minded crapola plot, miserably overacted (but completely typical of South/Central American films), and with overdrawn caricatures as characters, as in the proto-Catholic morality plays from which they stem. The hunchback resembles an organ=grinder's monkey, complete with fez, and -- in a time-warped flash to Marty Feldman's hunchback -- the damned hump seems to move about from scene to scene.

I'm surprised some of the other fans haven't lapsed into a swoon with comparisons to Mephistofeles, Dr. Faustus, Dante's Inferno, and other classic works, and in truth there are some obvious inspirations drawn from them. But then all morality plays follow similar plot lines in the end. And this definitely is a morality play designed purely for a poorly-educated but devout Catholic audience.

If one had to pick a nominee for Best Actor in this film, it would certainly have to go to one of the boa constrictors, who are the only ones not over-emoting themselves into outer space. A fine, restrained performance by the reptiles, from whom the actors might take lessons.

That said, there are a very few moments of pure brilliance in this film, well worth investing the time. I had one Hell of a time -- no pun intended -- giving this one a number. I started out with a "1" and finally settled on a "4," mostly because it is mostly bad, and for the rating to make sense compared to other films I've rated. I could have easily gone to a "6." It is hard to compare something this erratic in quality.

The "Alleluja Chorus" after Coffin Joe returns from Hell, mirroring Christ's descent into Hell and Resurrection, is a lovely touch, and had me giggling with perverse pleasure, and raising it to a "5" on that alone. The color scene of Hell is, as others have said, well worth the 80 or 90-minute wait. Beautifully conceived, creatively different, and amazingly effective considering it was done on a budget that probably wouldn't have bought lunch for the entire crew the same day. Campy? Oh yes, but still betraying a degree of vision and imagination that high-rolling Hollywood directors seldom ever display, and certainly not back then.

The equally surreal graveyard scenes are also a remarkable piece of work, and you find yourself enjoying the pure cheapness and inventiveness rather than laughing at it. Roger Corman's early work, and Ed Wood's, often strikes me this way. Ya gotta admire someone who knows how to go a LOOOOOONG way on a near-zero budget.

This film is definitely a "guilty pleasure," and even though one is forced to admit that it IS crap, it is still crap with a few gems embedded in the fecal stew.

Heir to an Execution: A Granddaughter's Story (2004)

Sad, naive treatment of treason and consequences

[7/10 · 9 July 2006]

As other reviewers have mentioned, this is essentially an amateur effort, but I believe it is more effective for that, and that a more polished, careful effort by "professionals" would not be nearly as poignant and effective.

Though many of the Rosenberg family cling to various pieces of the puzzle hoping, or pretending, that Julius & Ethel were either "innocent" or at least deserved a lesser punishment, it is clear from the Venona transcripts (released in '95) and testimony of ex-KGB agents that they were active -- Julius much more so -- in stealing highly classified U.S. secrets and giving them to the Soviet Union, as part of an organized socialist-communist cabal. They were clearly "true believers," which is what essentially scarred their children's lives.

As this film makes quite clear, the Rosenbergs could have spared themselves right up to the day they were executed, but their refusal to implicate other spies sealed their fate. However misguided, they were true believers, willing to die rather than betray their cause.

At this late date there is of course not the slightest doubt that both were guilty of treason and espionage, and, due to their refusal to "betray" their comrades or their cause, they also inflicted great emotional trauma to their families, especially their children. One cannot help but sympathize with them, but it's hard to argue that their parents are in any way "innocent" or did not commit treason and espionage. They opted to die. One can only bemoan the fact that others in the ring deserved death far more than Ethel, but got light sentences.

Though a bit long and slow-moving at times, for someone interested in this peculiar historical incident this film will prove fascinating despite its less-than-polished production.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent (2001–2011)

Great series, flawed by an Agenda

[22 December 2005]

Overall, this, like all the Law & Order series, is one of the best series on TV, period. Perhaps only BOSTON LEGAL and SOUTH PARK surpass it in sheer brilliance and originality.

However, as in the rest of the Law & Order series, there is always an undercurrent of "agenda" beneath the excellent writing, and their condescending, sloppy inclusion of the writers' and/or producers' peculiar little political quirks is often aggravating, particularly since the little "digs" are often pure B.S.

One I particularly noted was on a first-season episode "The Third Horseman," when the detectives are tracing a sniper rifle and discover it was sold by a dealer at a gun show and therefore they could not identify the purchaser. I find it unlikely that a writer or researcher could make such an idiotic mistake so I assume it was a deliberate fabrication to push their leftist political agenda. As anyone with even a cursory knowledge of firearms knows, a sale by a dealer at a gun show is handled EXACTLY the same way as in a gun store: same criminal records check, same careful, multiple-ID check and same waiting period (in some cases). Any dealer who skips this is looking at mandatory prison time and five-figure fines, minimum.

This isn't the first gratuitous, or even most obvious bending of the truth engaged in by the L&O staff, and this skewed approach to what purports to be a fact-based program with a scientific approach is, to say the least, disappointing.

Now....one wonders just how fast and loose they play with the truth in other aspects of their program.

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Silk Stocking (2004 TV Movie)

Not bad at all, considering

[7/10 · 23 October 2005]

As a long-time Holmes fan, and particularly of the Jeremy Brett interpretations, I was fully prepared to dislike this one intensely. However, I did enjoy it and can recommend it, though with some warnings.

As several have mentioned, the time warp is annoying for those who know the genre. While it's certainly possible that Holmes might have "come out of retirement" at a young age, this is pushing it a bit far. Holmes and Watson were at least in their mid- to late twenties in the 1880s, so an Edwardian (1903?) setting would have them each pushing 50.

I don't recall seeing this Everett guy before, but I think they could have done better. However, after seeing poor Charlton Heston doing Holmes, I won't squawk too loudly. Everett seems to play up the jaded, effeminate Edwardian dandy routine a bit much for me.

Aside from the earlier-mentioned telephone disparity and perhaps too-routine use of fingerprints, I was particularly aggravated by the reference at the end to James Whistler's famous work commonly known as "Whistler's Mother. Holmes refers to it as something like "Portrait in Gray," whereas the actual title is "Arrangement in Gray and Black (or Black and Gray)". If as screenwriter is determined to be that pretentious, he should at least do the research and get it right.

The plot seemed to be "cheating" a bit to me, too, as others have mentioned.

But I did like it, warts and all. Maybe a 6 or 7 out of 10.

Miss Evers' Boys (1997 TV Movie)

Pure Propaganda for the Ignorant

[1/10 · 18 September 2005]

Aside from wasting the talents of several top-notch actors, the biggest problem with this movie is that it's basically a lie from top to bottom. Most of the facts presented are essentially true, but they very carefully leave out other parts to turn this into a Good vs. Evil morality play, with the Evil White Government oppressing poor black sharecroppers and purposefully killing them by withholding treatment. I'm surprised Oliver Stone wasn't doing this one.

It leaves out the fact that the only treatment for syphilis well into the 50s was arsenic, a year-long, painful treatment that hardly anyone ever finished. Its effectiveness, even when completed, was highly questionable. It also leaves out the fact that the acute, contagious syphilitics (178 of them) WERE treated, though most refused to finish the painful arsenic series. The remainder, latent noncontagious cases, were the ones followed in the study. Medically, these were almost never treated anywhere since it was too late to be effective and the majority of them would have no long-term effects anyway (no matter what you learned in Health class).

The Congressional hearings were largely just a platform for the political race wars of the time and never let real science get in the way of a good show.

I grew a bit suspicious over the whole thing because I knew one of the participants of the study, a retired Army sergeant who worked at Walter Reed. He never had a problem with the study and as a medic he certainly understood the pros and cons. As an untreated latent, it never affected his wife or five grown children, and he was in good health the last time I saw him at age 72.

For those with half a brain who are interested in the truth rather than Hollywood B.S., there is an excellent article at:

http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CA34A.htm I's have given this a 4 for the lousy direction, but I dropped it to a 2 because I don't like being lied to by Hollywood race-baiters.

Northfork (2003)

Pretentious, surreal boredom

[1/10 · 27 August 2005]

Usually I'm the one criticizing the twenty-something Neanderthals for not being able to appreciate a film unless it has plastic t*ts, gunfights and car chases. However, in this case the film might actually have been improved with a few of those additions. At least I wouldn't have gotten bored after an hour and changed channels.

I don't mind surreal, and I certainly don't mind having to pay attention to find subtlety or hidden meaning, but there should be some point to the whole thing. I didn't get the feeling that even the writer or director really had a broad vision of anything but were, instead, just so self-absorbed in their own pretentious visions that they became deliberately scattered. Or perhaps they just got confused themselves. Either way, I don't care. It bored the crap out of me for just over an hour with no saving grace.

Although a whole pack of other viewers have filled up this site with excited ravings about the alleged symbolism and masterful cinematography, I must respectfully disagree. Perhaps I didn't mince through enough film classes to appreciate some inspired techniques not visible to mere mortals ...

Or perhaps this movie was just crap.

I give it a "1" and file it next to "Ishtar."

Rollerball (2002)

Strictly children's entertainment, no visible plot or message

[1/10 · 30 March 2005]

This rat turd has nothing to do with Harrison's story or Jewison's 1975 SF classic, and using their title this way should be criminally prosecutable.

The director, fearing (perhaps rightly) that today's relatively illiterate and dense younger audiences couldn't follow the subtle plot and story arcs of the original, settled for a limp cartoon featuring a grinning plastic hero (Keanu Reeves without the dramatic flair) and a fast whiz-bang pace to make sure no one notices that this emperor has no clothes. I noticed, thank you.

Don't waste your time; rent the original and see why it's been a cult classic for 30 years, whereas this one was forgotten in 30 days.

The original Jonathan E's search for how the status quo came to be, and why man had lost control of his destiny, was central to the theme -- completely ignored in the 2002 cheap Chinese knockoff. HIs quote, "It is as though at some time in the past we were given a choice to trade our freedom for comfort...." wouldn't even make sense in the remake, and the original ending -- affirming the ascendancy of the individual and (my interpretation) sounding the death knell for the Corporations -- had to be scrapped.

Comparing the two versions: Compare the magnificent organ intro of the original (Bach's Toccata und Fugue in D-Minor) with the trashy barking of the 2002 sound track -- that says it all. It's like picking up two tools, one by Snap-On and the other by Chinese-made "Buffalo tools: the difference is instantly apparent.

For those who have seen both and prefer the newer version, I have naught but contempt, or perhaps pity. It's those feeble souls that in Jewison's future world would willingly trade the gold of freedom for the dross of comfort.

Hellboy (2004)

Good FX, some funny lines, the rest sucked

[30 July 2004]

I know this is a cartoon and not supposed to do more than mildly entertain an adult, but this one tries too hard for some sort of meaningful emotional plot between the red thing and some mousy wench -- the history of which relationship we are told absolutely nothing. It's all very mysterious and presumably supposed to be profound, I suppose, but I found it rather annoying. It could be that the writing and editing was just phenomenally rotten, but it looks like all this silliness was on purpose.

The CGI (or whatever they did the FX with) was exceptional, and almost worth the price of the rental. However, the production just couldn't seem to decide whether it was just kiddie-action cartoon stuff or an actual movie. I couldn't either, so I quit about three-quarters of the way through.

It may just be an age thing. To me, and most other baby-boomers, comics were just kid things, not to be taken seriously by adults. Aside from the Simpsons and South Park, almost all the rest just seems to juvenile to bother with.

I give it a 3, and then only with reluctance.

Sherlock (2002 TV Movie)

Far better than I expected

[7/10 · 16 July 2004]

After reading comments on IMDB for some some years now I'm beginning to think that there are an awful lot of self-styled film critics on the board that believe they'll be taken more seriously if they sneeringly disparage everything they see. True, it's easier to carve up a film than really critique it, but that ill serves the other board visitors who are mostly trying to get an impression of a movie to see if it's worth seeing.

This is far exaggerated with any Sherlock Holmes film, since they (including me) can be pretty picky and very purist in outlook. I don't mind straying a bit from The Canon, or even taking a severe liberty or two if the end product is enjoyable. I was perfectly prepared, of course, to dislike this made-for-TV movie and went in expecting very little. I was pleasantly surprised.I enjoyed it.

It took many liberties with The Canon, to be sure, but I enjoyed the several departures from established plotlines and character. It's hard to take new approaches to this genre, and I think this one worked well in the end.

I'd give it a good honest seven, or thereabouts, which is more than I'd give most of the critics on this Board. If you're a Holmes fan, watch this one. It's miles better than some of the sappy efforts we're used to.

Stuart Saves His Family (1995)

A feeble three-minute stit stretched way, way too long....

[1/10 · 21 June 2004]

I picked this up mostly because I recall the Sat Night Live skits as being good. Unfortunately, stretching this lame plot out to feature length is all that Franken did, and it left us feeling just ripped off, and certainly not entertained.

Franken's humor, ham-handed and obvious at its best, occasionally works for short bursts, but this guy apparently just doesn't understand writing or plot development when it gets past the three-minute mark, and he apparently feels everyone is too dumb for subtlety. I knew kids like this in junior high school and always felt sorry for them. But I didn't want to spend over five minutes with them, either. Sympathy only goes so far.

Mercifully, the generally pitiful reception this film got should encourage Franken to stick to three-minute schtick for high-school audiences.

Don't pay money to see this thing, whatever you do.

Lost Horizon (1973)

Mystery Science Theater, where are you when we need you?

[1/10 · 18 June 2004]

Utterly devoid of any saving grace, it might be watchable if one had just the right mix of drugs or alcohol to appreciate the (very unintentional) humor.

A gigantic waste of several stellar talents, when I first saw it in the theater, most of us were laughing too hard to really hear the music, which (I realize after seeing it on TV) was truly a blessing. Words fail me in describing the true horror of this THING that virtually killed the musical as an art form. Several friends tried getting really stoned before watching it, but even that didn't work. One of them held a symbolic burning of the video tape and invited her friends.

The embarrassing poverty of the music and dance was exceeded only by the inappropriateness of both of them, both in substance and timing. I can only sympathize with those that were desperate to leave this saccharine Hell

In some yin-and-yang karmic balance, I can only conclude that the brilliance of Peter Finch in NETWORK simply had to be somehow offset by featuring him in the most unspeakably bad and embarrassing role of anyone's career. It was worth the trade, artistically, but surely we need some sort of legislation whereby the tiny minority of people who weren't grossly horrified by this flash-frozen turkey could somehow be forcibly sterilized. PLEASE !! For the sake of our gene pool..

Monster (2003)

Riveting portrayal of a despicable human (?) being

[9/10 · 11 June 2004]

Theron puts in an astonishing performance. If she had performed under an assumed name, probably no one would have recognized her.

Several have commented that this portrayal was overly sympathetic to Wuornos, and some even felt that her background almost excused her murderous spree. I came away feeling nothing but disgust for her, and little sympathy even for the pathetic little wretch who went along for the ride, so I think the direction of this film was pretty even-handed if so many can take away different perspectives -- probably stemming from intellectual baggage we brought with us.

For me, this film is just another example of why the death penalty serves a useful social purpose. There are some people so defective and so dangerous that, as they say in Texas, they "need killin." It's too bad we couldn't have caught and killed this worthless bitch much sooner.

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

Spectacular film, a piece of real genius

[10/10 · 1 June 2004]

Noting the several comments from people who hated or just didn't "get" this film, I am more convinced than ever that democracy is a rather lame idea since many people are simply too stupid or vapid to deserve a vote. But I digress....

I laughed my ass off when I first heard that "Little Shop" was being remade as a musical, and gleefully predicted that it would be an even bigger turd than the musical remake of "Lost Horizon" -- truly one of the most ghastly things that ever soiled a piece of film. I rented the presumed-abominable "Little Shop" musical, invited a few friends over, and we flat fell in love with this movie. None of us are even big fans of musicals; I liked "Carousel" and "Oklahoma," but that's pretty much my complete list of musicals that will bear re-watching. And now this one!

Boy, did I ever call this one wrong, and I'm damned glad I did. I've seen it ten or fifteen times, and caught pieces of it another few dozen times while flipping channels. I never tire of it. It's that good.

The music is fabulous (as many others have commented), and every piece of casting is perfect. Rick Moranis, who I never thought of as anything other than a competent character actor, does a grand job; he's actually VERY competent and perfect for this role. Surprisingly, he does an amazingly good job of singing (if it was lip-synched, the voice-match was simply perfect). His stock shot up a lot of points with me for this work. His duet work with Ellen Greene (particularly on the operatic "Suddenly Seymour") was superb, though I'll bet he was sorely intimidated to be belting out a duet with someone with the power and range of the incredible Ellen Greene. But he rips right in, carries it off beautifully, and magic happens. There are a lot of tremendous voices in "Little Shop," but "Suddenly Seymour" never fails to bring out the goose bumps for me. How that tiny little woman can shake the walls like that is a great mystery -- my God, what a pair of lungs!

Everyone else has sung the praises of Levi Stubbs and Steve Martin, and a raft of other cameo roles, so I'll just say, "Ditto."

As I said, I was a big fan of the very dark "original" version, and I never saw the stage play. I've read enough about the "original" ending of this musical (which I won't spoil) to believe that I'd have liked the "original" ending at least as much as the basically "happy" ending we were left with. I'd love to see a DVD with both versions, just to compare.

I was perfectly prepared to hate this film, and particularly since I have nothing but disgust for Geffen, personally. However, this has become one of my favorite films of all time -- certainly on my "Top 30" or thereabouts, maybe even "Top 20."

The Postman (1997)

Great post-apocalyptic drama, far better than expected

[10/10 · 9 May 2004]

Whether one likes or hates this movie seems to depend more on the personality of the viewer than the qualities of the film. Personally, I liked it a lot.

It doesn't have the whiz-bang visual tricks like The Matrix, nor does it have a lot of sex or gratuitous violence or car chases, so the under-forty crowd may not get its buttons pushed enough. It also has an optimistic viewpoint, overall, and portrays the few surviving Americans as largely decent and resourceful, which doesn't play well for the pessimistic, left-wing crowd.

It was well-directed and well-acted, and it also did a superb job of translating the book into a movie -- something that is rarely ever done. Some criticize it as being over-long, with which I disagree. If the story needs an extra hour or so to make it work, I'd rather see it that way than chopped to pieces to fit some arbitrary show-length. Do these people avoid books that are "too thick?" Yeah, they probably do.

I like most of Costner's work, but I'd rate this above even Dances With Wolves. As an avid science fiction fan for over half a century, I'd rate this the best of the post-apocalyptic genre, hands down. Nine out of ten, definitely.