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Reviews
Szczesliwego Nowego Jorku (1997)
The best
The story follows a group of people from the country in the east. They lived their lives, regular, gray, everyday existence. Now, one day somebody decided to change the world, to make it better place. So the lives of our group have changed. The morning was still morning, evening was evening but somehow the rest was different. So they had to find a new place to live. They went west, to the place of eternal happiness and beauty. But when they get there, it turned out that the "paradise" was just as gray, dirty, stinky as their world.
So, if you ever had to leave your country looking for better life, just because somebody decided that old is bad and new is good, see this movie! But !! If you live your life just like coca cola commercial - thinking that polar bears play joyfully with seals - I dare you, do not! It is simply The Best movie I ever saw. Acting, screenplay, dialogs - top notch, life itself.
Sex and the City (2008)
Emptiness
I live in this beautiful country (U.S. and A.) for almost 5 years now. So I'm trying almost desperately to...catch up when it comes to the culture of this place. In this struggle I watch many different movies, since movies are main way of spreading culture here.
Well, there's not much I can say, besides this - Cynthia Nixon and Cris Noth are too good actors to be in this trash. I can almost see how they struggle to dumb down to the level of the rest of the cast. There's no point of writing about anything else, the plot, the common sense - not exist in this movie. It's utterly artificial, ridiculous and weird. Perhaps I am too old, too drunk or just too different.
So, if you love God, any God, spend some time reading, go for a walk, eat a good dinner, drink some good wine, play guitar - but stay away of this. Bye.
Castle: Flowers for Your Grave (2009)
Pilot - nothing special, boring
May be spoilers,so if someone is really interested , beware.
The pilot was reallllly boring.
Famous writer of criminals or something in that sort gets involved in police "investigation" - apparently someone kills people in the way, that he wrote in his books. The rest is actually usual stuff seen about 10 times in many other shows. It is typical - there are murders, but instead of serious investigation - the police detective flirts with Nathan Filion. Everybody wears 500$ shirts. The woman detective is attractive beyond belief. So, if you like Bones, CSI (and all clones of it), Numbers and all others crappy "serious" series - it is for You. But if not - play scrabble, read a book, drink wine - at least you will be helping the economy. Bye.
The 4th Floor (1999)
You got to love Juliette Lewis
Well, I saw this movie last night. I got to say, it is pretty decent thriller with elements of psychedelic.
Young woman gets apartment from her died aunt and starts accommodating when strange things start to happen. Some are believable, some ...somehow not. I really liked the atmosphere of danger and a little weirdness. The whole world in this movie seems to be a little odd, kinda 3 inches to the left. You got a feeling that not everything is as it should be.
Unfortunattely I could pretty easy predict who is the main "bad guy".
I liked Tobin "The Saw" Bell small part, also Artie Lange was not bad in part kinda not his styla.
Now , minor or major, spoiler, so beware.
In 1976 Roman Polański made The Tenant (Le Locataire) based on great novel by late Roland Topor. If you saw that movie, The 4th Floor will be VERY familiar. Unfortunately, what worked in France is not that great in Da City.
Also, you got to love Juliette Lewis, she is not shy in front of the camera :) If you got nothing better to do - see this movie, but if you have to go to the Blockbuster - get The Tenant. Bye.
Eagle Eye (2008)
Average, no, below average
Saw this movie on pay-per-view, 4.94 $, but worth about 3.60$
Spoilers, i guess, possible, but who cares.
Shia Lepoof is a guy who works in paper store, Staples or something in that sort. Suddenly his life gets upside down when his room is full of guns an special military equipment. He gets arrested, and then it starts. Suddenly this looser of a guy turns into regular Jimmie Bond - jumps from 4 th floor and lands without a scratch on the railroad, kicks asses better than Jason Statham, and so on, and so on.
Then some ridiculous plot with a bomb, something about military computer planning world domination (by world I mean US and A).
And then we go to the most dumb scene - Rosario Dawson ( who looks worst than Charlize Theron in "In the valley of Elah" ) and some other guy swim in LIQUID NITROGEN and nothing happens to them!
And after that I lost interest in the movie.
Of course Shia wins girl at the end ( 10 years older than him, but who cares ) and nothing changes in the world ( by world I mean ...who cares ). Dumb movie, go for a walk, or get your girlfriend to nice restaurant. If you are 10 years old - see this movie. Bye.
The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Funny movie, but not in a good way
Possible spoilers, i guess. I paid 4.95 plus tax for this movie, on pay per view, but it was worth about 4. Bruce lives in Brazil, searching for cure. He writes on his computer to some strange, mysterious Mr. Blue, who may help. Than special commando comes to get him, he runs away to Virginia university and ....blah blah, so on, so on, Liv Tyler loves him, Mr. Blue helps him, he fights Abomination, wins physically and morally (see for yourselves) and da end. The movie is really silly. William Hurt - mix of Sam Elliot and Steven Seagall - with "evil eyebrow" , plays "general" who wants to get Hulk. He, for some reason, instead getting a whole platoon of navy seals, or rangers or other commandos, gets Emil Blonsky, who is some kind of mercenary or something. Blonsky gets hooked on catching Hulk and gets himself injected. After the injection he can run like the wind (the scene is exactly like the one from original Superman, when young Clark tries to be faster than train) - silly. Edward Norton runs like a girl, looks miserable and can travel without a passport and green card from Guatemala to Virginia USA in about 2 weeks. Hulk - his hair move in slow motion, he can finally talk, and have some secret power of stopping fire with clapping hands.
Perhaps my version had some troubles with editing, or this movie is that bad. Fighting scenes looked like taken from the A-Team, nobody gets hurt, Hulk is rather week, he gets easily beaten and bruised.
I can recommend this to 10 years old, but that's all. bye.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
Total nothing!
"Hoping to land a movie role, a thief learns investigative techniques from a detective" - that's what the info on my cable box said about this movie. Okey, HBO, Val Kilmer, Robert Downey jr. - suppose to be good. That's what I thought. But, it turns out, the movie is totally bad, wrong, no good. After seeing one hour of this masterpiece, I changed channel to 303, there was Curb Your Enthusiasm ( episode, where Larry put condom insideuot, and hit Jeff's dog, and they watched College Girls Gone Bad). Now, that was entertaining. Curb ... lasted half an hour. After that I switched back to the Kiss...And, well, nothing got clear, film ended in some crazy way. I don't know, is Val Kilmer gay? Is Robert Downey jr. gay? Was that a gay movie or what? Do not see this one, eat a sandwich or go for a walk, I strongly recommend that. Bye.
Surface (2005)
Catastrophe
Okej, it started so great. Strange things happen all around the world, sea monsters, strange creatures eating boats and people. Really sexy lady marine biologist in submarine trying to find something on the bottom of the ocean. Strange government conspiracy.
And then suddenly - nothingness, quiet. Suddenly it becomes teen show about a boy, who finds a great pet and trying to hide it from the world. From great sci - fi possibility, giant leap into Beverly Hills 90210. And, in that very moment, I stopped watching. But it turns out to be some kind of genetic mutation Godzilla - style.
And it could be so great.... Don't see this, better eat a sandwich or go for a walk. Bye.
Final Destination 3 (2006)
My God, how this movie is bad!!
Sometimes there are situations, when the stink in the room is so bad, that even your eyes hurt. This movie is so bad, that even your nose hurts. My God in heaven, who, why, what for made this movie? Okej, I know that teen movies are supposedly for teens, but there are some boundaries, there's got to be line, which crossing is forbidden. I mean, teenagers, you are suppose to be "the youth of the nation".
What kind of nation is it going to be??!! Please, do not see this movie, for love of God, do not see this movie. Go, play ball, whatever game with ball you like, eat a sandwich, plant a tree, read a book. Bye.
SeaQuest DSV (1993)
Hmm, brings a lot of memories
I remember, that I was at school when the pilot was aired. But after that, I saw every episode.
Hmmm, I remember being madly in love with Stacy Haiduk and her lovely smile. I guess I love her to this day.
Of course Rosalind Allen also caught my hart , but not as much as Stacy.
The first season, or at least until destroing the first boat was the best. All others was just a little bit worse, a little bit but always.. What more can I say? Nowedays THEY do not make shows like that. Now it's time for Reba, for Christ sake who, how, for how mach made a TV series about a woman who sing country - that will be a mystery for me, until the end of days.
Bring back that time, when Seaquest ruled the deep.
Everything Is Illuminated (2005)
Great movie , without 2 words!
It's a great movie, about a Jewish boy from US and A, who comes to the Ukraine seeking for his roots. It's truly one of few movies, where Americans are not shown as higher morally and technically than th rest of th world.
Young Jewish boy will now see what a real world is like.
Wonderful pictures of great Ukraine, great performance of Eugene Holtz and Stephan Samudovsky gives this film a magical look.
Besides, THE CAR. They drive the cult car for us, Eastern Europeans, Trabant. It's like VW Beattle for Americans.
The best dialog was about Nigros, when Ukrainian gay can not understand what is wrong in calling a nigro a nigro, hehehe. The movie is great, no pathos at all, not even any type of Jewish propaganda, which is rarity itself. Bye.