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Reviews
Slave Tears of Rome: Part One (2011)
Should have won an Oscar
I've watched this movie with a critical eye, and I just cannot understand how the Motion Picture Academy overlooked this one. The acting was superb, the director called all the right shots, lighting was great, and the costumes were among the best ever. I guess they just couldn't fit this one into their busy schedule. It was made in the Czech Republic, so it could have been in the foreign film category, but I feel it should have been nominated for Best Picture. I mean why aim low when you have the caliber of this film?
For the non-film critic audience, it has many attractive actresses who simply give outstanding performances throughout. They are sensitive and caring, and really put their hearts and souls into their performances. Some worked so hard sweat literally poured from their bodies. Oh well, maybe next time.
Hawaii Five-O: A Bullet for McGarrett (1969)
An uncharacteristically weak "Wo Fat" episode
Typically, the Wo Fat episodes are a cut above the average Five-O episodes, but this one falls flat with factual errors. This is especially surprising when a solid actor like Eric Braeden co-stars.
Wo Fat, last seen on a boat bound for China, makes his return, in a cameo appearance in this episode. One might first ask how did Wo Fat return so easily? Where was Five-O's intelligence. Further, he has a plant inside Five-O that McGarrett is totally unaware of, something this storyline seemed to overlook completely. Braeden's character, Dr. Farar, is working for Wo Fat, but we learn nothing about the connection. Is Farar a Soviet, an East German (most plausible given Braeden's German birth), but once again, the writers offer no clue. Then there's policewoman Joyce Bennett who becomes a twenty something college student in Farar's psychology class. Wouldn't an instructor realize there's a new student in his class that deep into the term?
The whole hypnosis theme is weakly developed. Bennett lures McGarrett to the University of Hawaii campus at night. Oddly, there is no campus security. She unloads a full gun yet no sirens are heard, no people screaming or shouting. She shoots McGarrett at point blank range hitting him between his heart and shoulder, but he's still strong enough to fight off Dr. Farar. Bennett then shoots and kills Farar from 30 maybe 50 feet away and kills him with one shot. Still no sirens. Then the oddest scene of all, McGarrett and Bennett walk off together leaving Farar's dead body behind. Inexplicable. There are just so many missed opportunities throughout the show.
Clearly, this episode begged to be a two-part show, but it wasn't. The writers took too much time on less important elements like the death of the Chinese student, and overlooked too many gaps in the plot to cram this into one 50 minute show. So many times Wo Fat and McGarrett play their intellectual chess game that the Wo Fat episodes became hallmarks of the series. This one fell flat. I had to give it one star, and that was generous.
The Guest House (2012)
Not as bad as many reviewers say, if . . .
No, seriously, it doesn't have to be as bad as many reviewers claim. It just needs a couple of things. First, it needs a sequel. And here's my idea. The two girls decide to get married, and, in a unique twist, they ask dad to be both the best man and give the bride away. But it's not a traditional wedding. They fly to Jamaica and have a nude wedding at Hedonism III.
The other thing the sequel would need is a new production company. And who better to pull off such a sequel a dozen years after the initial release, but to have The Asylum step in and save the day. Just think about it, Asylum could factor in sharks try to disrupt the service. Dad could step up and save the soon to be brides from a threatening Sharknado. Then they could franchise the movie as the happy couple takes on the world. Dad is now their manservant, and he's continually finding ways to keep the brides safe from the ever-present danger of sharks, even as they relocate to rural North Dakota where there's an emerging emo music scene. I have full faith that The Asylum can pull it off and turn an erstwhile one-off dud into a franchise dud.