meowmasboy Reviews

The Follower (I) (2022)

I dare it to be more boring

[4/10 · 17 June 2022]

If you are making a horror movie about a killer, you need to actually show the killer sometimes, not just a couple of nanosecond shots. God. It is so boring. Make something happen, please.

Fresh Hell (2021)

Had me until the end

[6/10 · 12 June 2022]

I enjoyed it very much until the end. I HATE HATE HATE movies that never give the audience the motivation or reason for the villain's actions. That is called TRICKING THE AUDIENCE and it is nothing but irritating. It's one thing to "give the audience something to think about", but when the movie never gives a motive, it ruins it for me. Sorry, but the ending ruined what could have been a better-than-decent horror flick.

Jersey Shore Massacre (2014)

Hear me out lol

[6/10 · 10 June 2022]

It is a ridiculous movie. Silly, stupid, pointless, yes. BUT, it actually has some strong points for true horror aficionados:

1. It was self-aware, and mocked several New Jersey stereotypes in truly funny ways.

2. For how ridiculous and over the top the characters were, the acting was pretty good. Imagine having to play those characters with a straight face!

3. The gore effects are excellent. Not kidding.

4. It had Ron Jeremy in it! I mean, come on!

5. The ending mocked Friday the 13th in a funny way.

One huge flaw is that the villain had no real motive. "It's a Jersey thing." lol come on. Still, I swear it is really entertaining if you like campy horror, and if you know anything about New Jersey, it is really funny. Give it a chance!

Dark Night of the Scarecrow 2 (2022)

Pretty awful

[3/10 · 8 June 2022]

Boring and pointless with a confusing plot, bad acting, and terrible creature effects. In fact, the "villain" of the tale barely made an appearance in the movie. This is amateur-grade stuff. Don't waste your time.

Dashcam (I) (2021)

I hate her

[5/10 · 4 June 2022]

The main female lead is so obnoxious, so selfish, so oblivious to anything else, so self-absorbed, and so damn American, that I wanted her to die in the first five minutes. This is why the world hates us. She also seemed to take to the role a little too easily. Is she like this in real life?

Blight (2022)

Close, but no cigar

[5/10 · 27 May 2022]

This movie had real potential! The acting, camerawork, and plot were more than decent. But I HATE HATE HARE movies that never explain what happened, and do not give the audience enough information to deduce it. It is called "tricking the audience" and it sucks.

The Unkind (2021)

Wow. Just...wow.

[2/10 · 11 May 2022]

The acting...so wooden. It's like they had no experience acting at all, and were woodenly and phonetically reading the lines with no emotion. Terrible. Also, the writing was terrible, too. Don't make yourself miserable -- watch something else.

The Curse of Valburga (2019)

Fantastic horror-comedy!

[9/10 · 5 May 2022]

This is a great film. It is a hilarious black comedy, combined with a truly disturbing horror secret, and an ending that ties it all together in a satisfying manner. I myself write horror-comedy novels, and I would have been proud to put out something as good as this. If you love horror combined with the blackest of comedy, you will love this film.

The Changed (2021)

Oh, how the mighty have fallen!

[3/10 · 4 May 2022]

Poor Tony Todd. He should not have to be involved in a stinker like this movie. It is pure amateur (except for Tony). Terrible, boring writing. Nothing happens. The dialogue is comical. Not even gold old Tony can save this amateur snorefest.

We're All Going to the World's Fair (2021)

If two hours of nothing happening turns you on...

[6/10 · 28 April 2022]

...then this is your lucky day! Aside from a really great performance from Anna Cobb (great upcoming actress, wish her great success in her career), the movie is boring. I mean, almost nothing happens, at all. The big "plot twist" at the end is silly and not even shocking in the slightest way. So, if you hate action and entertainment, then this is the movie for you!

Hunting Souls (2022)

Terrible and boring!

[3/10 · 24 April 2022]

Nothing happens! Nothing! No monster payoff, nothing scary, just nothing! Horrible writing! How does this even qualify as horror? It should be called a drama at best.

Lair (2021)

The writers must be tarred and feathered

[5/10 · 17 April 2022]

This started out as a promising horror movie. I love supernatural, demonic movies, so I was excited. It quickly went to hell, pardon the pun. The actors must be praised: for the script that they were cursed with, they did great. The acting was really good. But the writing? My goodness. Who did what? Why? No motivation, no clear villain, the time sequence was totally out of order...why? Just why? The last scene tries to explain the movie, but it does not: rather, it fools the audience, and I do not like that. There is a big difference between a well-executed plot twist, and just fooling the audience to cover bad writing. Concept? Great. Acting? Great. Writing? Terrible.

Deep Hatred (2022)

Pretty Awful

[3/10 · 1 April 2022]

Mediocre acting and a plot that is boring. People sitting around talking for most of the movie. The "monster" does not even appear until the end, and the "plot twist" is ridiculous and pointless. Nothing in the movie gave a clue to the plot twist, and it is absolutely unlikely given the characters. Lots of water, lots of stupid dialogue, and terrible writing. Amateurish.

Demigod (2021)

Google Translate?

[5/10 · 31 March 2022]

My main problem with this mediocre film is their bad German. It's like they used Google Translate without bothering to consult a native speaker. Also, some acting was bad. Some was good though.

The Legend of La Llorona (2022)

Awful. Poor Trejo.

[2/10 · 11 March 2022]

This was terrible in every way. Terrible acting, terrible writing, silly effects, terrible CGI, ridiculous plot. The only curse of La Llorona is this movie.

Corporate Animals (2019)

Good except for spots of bad writing

[7/10 · 9 March 2022]

It was funny overall. The actors were good. The only problem was some spots of bad writing, which is the screenwriters' fault, not the actors'. But it was not all bad. Some of the writing was really good. It was just unsteady. But if you want something entertaining to watch, it's worth it.

Lantern's Lane (2021)

Yikes. Awful.

[2/10 · 4 March 2022]

In 99% of this stinker, nothing happens. It's some people sitting and talking. That's all. Once the "killer" arrives, the killer just sort of strolls around a little and make a halfhearted attempt or two at a stab. The identity of the killer is obvious from the start. It is boring, very boring. I've seen more action in a cemetery. Do yourself a favor and watch grass grow. It will be a more exciting night than watching this trash. On a good note, some acting was alright.

The Nest (2021)

Had potential, but missed some important marks

[4/10 · 9 January 2022]

This had the potential to be a decent horror movie, but here are my complaints:

1. The acting, while not bad, lacked enthusiasm and charisma. It seemed like the actors were just going through the motions, even the little girl, although I commend her on her career, and she definitely has acting potential.

2. The effects were bland. A literal cricket? That's the monster?

3. No explanation of the monster or its motives. Why did the cricket invade everyone and turn them into what, monsters? Eggs for itself? What did it really do, and why? There is never a satisfying explanation.

4. Not fast-paced enough. I can enjoy a slow=paced movie if it is artistic and the slow pace has a point. Here, it felt like they were just filling time.

Overall, it is not a terrible watch, but it is nothing special, when it could have been above average.

Body Bags (1993 TV Movie)

Unwatchable Sound Mixing

[1/10 · 27 December 2021]

There is music playing dang near the whole movie, and it is way too loud. You can barely hear the actors' voices. I would not make it 5 minutes. Hey, it might be the best film in the world, but since I could not hear a word, what's the point?

False Positive (2021)

Horrible Characters

[3/10 · 27 June 2021]

Not scary enough. The characters all seem bland, boring, and shallow, like shiny icons of humans rather than real humans. And the "magical negro" midwife is a caricature.