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Reviews
Alone in the Dark (2005)
the best part of this movie is...
...the DVD special features Behind the Scenes. Of course it doesn't beat 'I heart Huccabees' for embarrassing behind the scenes interviews, but comes close. Yes, the best part of really bad bad movies is the interviews - I mean, once you're captured on video exclaiming enthusiastically how wonderful a movie is, there's no turning back is there? In fact there's not much credibility left. At least Dusitn Hoffman in I heart H and a few other actors express their concerns at the director throwing away the script, so only the idiot director is left exclaiming how wonderful that awful awful movie is. But in this flick (as in give it the flick) they all rave about it, and they're probably not on drugs. Christian Slater, with all the sensitivity of a brick, purrs (during the interview when a bad actor is screaming in the background) that it is 'Purrfection!'.
And a special mention to groanmeister Stephen Dorff (he even beats Stephen Segal) - if they ever need an actor to play someone suffering from severe constipation for an hour and a half, he's your man!
London Voodoo (2004)
London Hoodoo
hello - what makes this film get any awards? Sorry, it's just that, at the very least, I'd like a movie to be believable. But right from the start this fails in the most basic ways. Firstly, the wife finds a body or bodies. Gee, the husband seems okay that the police not be called - afterall the wife reckons the bodies are 'old'. Gee, that's enough for the husband to want to let wifey keep her bodies in the cellar, and to keep her happy. Unbelievable. And then, as if this weren't enough to swallow, suddenly there's a knock on the door with a guy warning the hubbie the wifey's been possessed. Luckily I did not see it in some trendy art film festival - i would have burst out laughing.
I turned this awful movie off after that - enough is enough. Clichés galore in the first few minutes.