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Reviews
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
Pretty dumb.
This sequel is much worse than the corny original, and drags on for 3 hours. The original at least tried to create a spectacle through video effects, but they didn't even have the courtesy to attempt it in this sequel. The special effects can't stand up to the old movie's. The plot is even dumber than the first movie - in fact, everything is worse and seems low budget compared to the original stupid movie. I can understand how a superfan would give this a rating of 8. These people probably also eat Mac n cheese and think they're happy and well nutritioned. This is not for adults. It is honestly dumb as all F.
History of the World: Part II (2023)
Just awful :(
Unlike the movie, which was stupid/funny, this is just plain stupid. I guess there is a reason that Mel Brooks is obscure, now. This was terrible. Bad writing, bad acting, bad directing, and totally unfunny. And did I mention the bad writing?
Don't waste your time with this trash. Mel Brooks has lost his talent and someone was dumb enough to pay him to produce some lazy tripe. And as he admits on one of his commercials for the show: he took the money and laid a rotten egg.
I think the senile old fart should just enjoy his money and relax in his heated pool and never bother us again, because he has ruined his reputation with this intolerable swill.
Poker Face (2022)
A constant rollercoaster, physically.
I'm glad that Hollywood has been helping the disabled for the past couple decades but I'm not sure why they continue to insist on handing the cameras to people with advanced Parkinson's disease. The shakiness of the camera is unbearable from the start and made me nauseous and gave me a headache. Why Hollywood thinks that unmitigated awfulness equals high art, is beyond me.
I need to type a whole six hundred characters to post this review, for some reason, so let me tell you about my first dog. His name was Jethro, and he went blind, and then, after he went missing for days, my dad looked for him and found him in a ditch on the side of the road because he was hit by a car.
This movie was made by amateurs and is not worth your time.
The Most Reluctant Convert (2021)
Keep trying, Hollywood 🙄
Unoriginal concept, brought to you by idiots who have no connection to reality. But, Hollywood, keep wasting money advertising this nothing of a movie! Good investment, geniuses! Brilliant!
Please go away and stop diluting decent American films with your trash. Go away forever, Hollywood!
1883 (2021)
Maybe better than Yellowstone
The first 5 episodes had promise. Then the writing turns to utter garbage. It's just the common "woke" propaganda after that. (I can't wait until this insufferable fad is over!)
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
If you didn't think the creators couldn't sell out any further...
...you were wrong. Terrible from the start. I tried to watch as long as I could but daydreamed through most of it, until something better to do came up, which was clipping my toenails and going to bed for an early night's sleep. I forced myself through maybe 15 minutes.
Street of Crocodiles (1986)
Bizarre trash art from the late Soviet era
This is a good example of the intentionally, individually ruinous Communist production from the time, albeit a late hold over. This awful modern "art" is designed to confuse and alienate the individual in order to psychologically bully them to into conforming with the collective.
There is no discernable meaning here. No insight is gained from this piece of "art" except during the last half, where we learn that its creator is a miserably lonely, involuntary celibate and perverted sociopath. And it supposed to encourage you to feel equally inferior, to produce a response which leads you to conform with a social myth that you know is fake.
Just as anyone does who pretends they can see deep meaning in modern "art".
The Wheel of Time (2021)
Logically incoherent. Poor acting.
In the first 30 seconds of the first episode, the narrator says it all in the introduction: "Men tried to save the world, which proves they are incompetent and arrogant. So, woman are now trying to save the world, which inexplicably makes them the opposite (just take our word for it and don't think too hard)."
You can guess as to the quality and content of the entire show after this point, and you'd be right. Don't bother with this one; there are decent shows to choose from out there right now.
Teenage Euthanasia (2021)
Not worth anyone's time.
Completely unfunny. The animation is very poor, loudly colored, and obnoxious. Many of the voice actors have very annoying voices. This show just seems like a big middle finger to the viewer, as if it's saying "Up yours, audience! You idiots will watch anything."
See (2019)
Overall story is sort of okay. Nothing else good to say.
The show is bad. The acting and much of the writing is poor. It's a silly premise which makes for an unrealistic presentation: a population of blind people who can create and manage complex machinery, and even occasionally wear make-up and produce visual decoration 🙄.
But the worst part of the show is the character played by Sylvia Hoeks. She is one of the worst actors I've ever had the displeasure to witness, and her ridiculous way of speaking is so contrived and unrealistic. It's a truly awful experience to hear her character speak - you can't help but cringe every single time she has a line.
She wasn't in the first season much, which made the show bearable but in season 2 she is far too prevalent in the script. I just can't sit through the cringe fest just to keep up with the story anymore. This show is not worth my time, or yours.
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
Not the worst way to waste some time
It's pretty good but for this Selena Gomez person. I don't understand her appeal. She's kind of average for her acting skills, I guess. Not good looking - not a good body - a very unattractive voice. I don't care about these things as much as Hollywood does: I care almost entirely about acting skill.
I get the weird feeling that one of her relatives sponsored this show. The writing isn't bad. It's okay but nothing special.
The Lost Symbol (2021)
Political bandwagon follower stuff
This is not for thinking people. They make it clear in the first minute. I have to thank them for that. Instead of trying to sneak it in, bit by bit. This is for the dummies.
Ted Lasso (2020)
Cheap imitation of 'Major League'
I don't get the high ratings at all. This is a lower (way lower) class version of the story from the movie Major League, which was actually funny, BTW. This is dumb. If you think people drinking pee samples is funny, then this is for you. If this show doesn't provide you with enough enjoyment, you can go to a third grade class and laugh at clever fart jokes.
Pure garbage.
The Guilty (2021)
A terrific remake of a better Danish film
This is wonderful for English speaking audiences who don't like subtitles. I found the original more intense and suspenseful but this is very good and the twist was presented competently.
Fargo (2014)
Great first season. Skip season 4
Season 1: 9/10.
Seasons 2 and 3: 7.5/10.
Season 4 is a dud - a real disaster: 5/10. The writing is inconsistent and, at times, so awful it'll make you cringe. It's like they had a talentless college intern write parts of the dialogue and story. Take a pass on season 4 all together.
Rick and Morty (2013)
A great show ended with Season 4
Season 5 is still okay but the Marxist messaging is really off-putting. I thought the creators were just jumping on the recent bandwagon but to hear them describe each episode afterwards tells me they are true believers. It's unfortunate but all good things must come to an end.
The Wire (2002)
The most overrated show in TV history?
The first season was decent; the second was worth watching; it continues to go downhill and quickly deteriorates into cliche.
The acting is usually ok but much of the dialogue is just stupid and unrealistic. Rarely moving. Rarely captivating.
I wonder if people were convinced it was good due to popular hype, instead of actually appreciating the show individually.
Pig (2021)
One of Cage's better movies and performances. 7.5
Good story and acting. Don't be turned of because Cage is in it. My only real complaint is that it includes the shaky camera nonsense, and some of it is so deliberately out of control that I almost turned the movie off. Thankfully there is not much of it. Whoever's idea this was needs to leave the cinematography to the professionals.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
McCarthy's favorite
Most alien movies from this time are a pro-communist or anti-communist analogy. This one is pro-communist. Sadly, many of these films which promote slavery under an oligarchy, wrapped up in foolish, utopian promises, are actually an interesting watch. This commie movie is not bad - just don't let your impressionable children watch it until their naivety has faded away.
Cloud Atlas (2012)
A sparkly object.
This movie is all gimmick and no substance. It's also corny, lacking in story, and the acting is sub par, especially by Hanks. This movie is like shiny keys being jingled in front of an infant; it's just spectacle. If you liked Inception, you will probably like this one, too. This is the most gimmicky film I've ever seen, and it goes on for three hours.
Bigger Than Life (1956)
A warning about steroids
This movie is a warning about the real psychological effects of steroid use. Maybe it should be watched by anyone taking them long term, in order to help them notice what is happening to their minds and behavior.
Coming 2 America (2021)
Awful and predictable at every turn
After the beginning credits, it's takes all of 20 seconds to see that the goal of this production was to cater to this new, temporary "wokeness" trend. Unfortunately it makes every scene, and every detail of every scene, very predictable. I loved the original, as everyone else did, and this sequel was very disappointing.
I keep hoping that Eddie Murphy will do at least one more good movie but it just doesn't seem like it will happen. 😟
By Night's End (2020)
Idiotic premise for the whole movie
They get assaulted in their used home by criminals looking for some pre-existing valuable in it, that only the criminals knew about. They decide to wait to call the cops until they search their own home for the valuables.
Why didn't they just let the cops do their job, and then search for it? This movie is so stupid.
The characters and relationships are totally unrealistic.
The Beguiled (2017)
Enjoy the original movie, instead.
There are very few remakes that are better than the original. 3:10 to Yuma is the only one that comes to mind. This remake adds nothing and loses much of the original's feelings of intrigue. The ending is worse, as well. Don't bother - just watch the real movie with Clint Eastwood.