DirkGently Reviews

Who's Your Daddy? (2002 Video)

Some movies just make you ask why....

[1/10 · 6 March 2005]

When a comedy movie boasts its marvelous soundtrack on the back cover you know your not dealing with a top notch movie. I rented this movie with friends expecting to get some chuckles but overall to get most of our laughs off each other making fun of the movie. We couldn't have chosen a worse movie.

The movie may have been alright with a few changes. First off, the comedy was painful. Physical gags were poorly performed and placed. The fat kid in the movie made us want to kill ourselves, bless him for trying scene in and scene out but he was like a puppy begging for love. If he had been pulled from the movie everything might have been bearable. There were some funny jokes, I believe one was when the group of boys steal one of the parent's porn movies and it turns out to be gay porn. But to best sum up the comedy I will simply tell the opening gag for the fat kid. He wears a puke stained shirt and talks about not knowing when something is done.

To finish off, the editor of the movie could have saved the movie by removing the fat kid, cutting out 20 minutes of the school scenes and making an ending that is longer than thirty seconds of random bickering.

OH, BTW, there are two good elements that the movie possesses. Kadeem Hardison plays his role wonderfully and performs his jokes so that none are missed or under-appreciated. The other redeeming element to the movie is the beautiful Mrs. Ali Landry. Her character is ignored most of the movie which is a shame.

Don't waste your time even renting this one. It didn't appeal to me and I was part of the target audience (18 male).

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004)

A fun movie which is only painful when plot is introduced.

[6/10 · 2 August 2004]

Well, I watched this movie with a dancing buddy and I must admit that we just wanted to be entertained for two hours, not emotionally moved or scared to death. That said all of the latin dance scenes were very fun to watch. Patrick Swayze even has a cameo. Unfortunately though, not half as much thought was put into the plot or keeping costumes and music in the correct time era. The plot is basically that Castro's revolution will be successful soon and from that you can guess just about all the turns in the movie. The dialogue was also shallow as something George Lucas would write for his love scenes. That all said, Havanna Nights is a fun visual spectacle, nothing more, nothing less. I would recommend it for a care free night. My rating is a 6/10 because even though it has poor dialogue and a painful plot it still accomplished enough dirty latin dancing to make me smile and want to dance.

Thirteen (2003)

Truth perhaps in large cities but for montana its rather out there.

[6/10 · 31 May 2004]

Well, I watched this with a group of fellow seniors and although the motion picture was moving, it felt like too much change too fast. Definitely not a good date/single movie, a support and discussion group is definitely needed for this movie. Anyway, I don't really suggest that it is a movie for everyone but if you have a group of friends and want to laugh for the first forty minutes and not say a word the rest of the time it is a good movie. By the way, the best scene in the movie is when this guy holds a chicken up to a mirror. It also isn't a good movie to watch if already feel motion sick

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

best movie ive gone too with my friends in years

[9/10 · 15 July 2003]

I went to this movie when there were only 11 people in the theater including myself and 4 friends and two drunks in front of us. It was a hilarious movie full of action. We loved it and when the drunk told the john connor's future wife to stop fighting it(when she says she wont ever love connor). wow. Great movie to go see on a guys night!!!

The Creeping Terror (1964 TV Movie)

subtitled: the town that couldn't run

[1/10 · 15 July 2003]

hmmmmmmm I tried to figure out why the people always stood still during the five minutes it would take the creeping tarp to creep up to them so they could jump in but that darned narrator kept interupting my thought process about what was going to happen thirty minutes from now. There was also a confusing sub plot with two guy fighting...........hmmmmmm it was educational in how to make ridiculous monsters and mesmerize people to wait for you to eat them.

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

An abundantly overdone and budgeted porn movie

[1/10 · 29 June 2003]

I rented the movie just after finishing the book and although one would expect differences between the two I never saw the eight additional sex scenes coming. Another of my dislikes for the movie is the choppiness ,which made it impossible for anyone who knew the original story no doubt someone hearing for the first time to follow the story. I suppose if Brahm Stoker's had been dropped off the title it could at least be enjoyed for its artsiness and nice frontals.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

A spectacular example of CGI and Wire fighting

[7/10 · 16 May 2003]

This sequel was amazing and even lived up to most of its hype. It features spectacular fight scenes and chase scenes but I personally feel it could do without NEO and Trinity groping eachother for the first hour of the film, a few kisses and a short(under 40 sec) could have gotten the point across that they love each other. Other than that wonderful movie, a must see for anyone who even slightly enjoyed the MAtrix.

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

piece of $hit that i could have made in backyard

[26 January 2002]

Not to say my friends and I went in with high hopes but we expected and entertaining move, two hours later we walked out and realized the movie could have been condensed into 10 minutes and that a single person could have done everything in it. In fact the only part of the movie which we were still discussing when it ended was how they did the one breasted woman. To say the least this movie is funny in only a few sections and is nowhere near theatre quality, perhaps rent it on video howerver I would rather rent the Zucker's "Kentucky Fried Movie" for a good kungfu spoof. My rating = 2/10