bishysbus Reviews

Asphalt City (2023)

Training Day with Paramedics ...

[7/10 · 1 May 2024]

It's atmospheric, slow, dark. All the things that a good and bloody drama should be.

Perfectly cast with some great acting and not too over the top. Even the legendary Mike Tyson makes an appearance which, even though questionable as a casting, he pulls it off perfectly.

Thrown in at the deep end, the main protagonist, a rookie paramedic is on the verge of madness. The film shows exactly what emergency workers have to attend to, day in, day out, and how it affects them, bustling on the verge of madness and faced with the adversity of violence.

It certainly packs a punch. Known as 'Black Flies' in the UK. Give it a watch.

100 Million BC (2008 Video)

Oh God. Why oh why

[1/10 · 11 February 2024]

I can't believe I wasted 90 minutes of my life watching this. Even my Grandson thought it was terrible. The CGI is like something they did on Photoshop and still got wrong. The acting is well, like most of the cast were on something. I take that back; they would have acted a lot better if they were.

Soldiers? It is an insult to the real thing. It makes the US military look like complete fools. Unconvincing.

Why do studios continued to make this crap? Why not channel the money saved by NOT making it into something where they could get a script writer, dialogue coach and first-rate actors.

Normally on films like this I say 'Sunday afternoon' film. But I wouldn't be that cruel. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!

Tales from the Crypt (1972)

Doesn't quite hit the note

[4/10 · 2 December 2023]

I suppose you have to look at it from the fact that the movie was made in 1972 and special effects were very limited back then. So if you can take away the masks on the 'corpses' faces and the blood colour then you can watch this attempt.

It's a shame. Well renowned cast with Peter Cushing, Joan Collins etc. In fact if it wasn't for the Peter Cushing sketch then this movie would have totally died. The scares weren't there and each vignette was quite basic in a storyline apart from Cushing's. It just makes you wonder why the Amicus production after this one, Cushing chose not to star in.

The 'vault' storyline was of course copied in the movie produced after this 'Vault of Terror'. Both from Comics. But Tales from the Crypt seems to have picked the worst of the tales from those comics.

Not the best.

Essex Boys: Law of Survival (2015)

Oh no ...

[2/10 · 24 November 2023]

They need to STOP making Essex boys movies. It's getting boring, and in this case, laughable. The film is terrible. I've given it 2/10 just because Carlton Leach himself did a cameo, but how he even agreed to star in this is beyond me. He must have owed someone a favour, that's all I can say.

I knew it was going to be bad from the moment it started. Two of the most unconvincing football fights with so called thugs who wouldn't even survive in a playground brawl at school.

The script sounds like the actors are making it up as they go along.

This film is just one big insult to the three men who were executed.

Appalling start to finish.

The Vault of Horror (1973)

Continuity errors galore

[4/10 · 10 November 2023]

I gave up counting the mistakes in the film. Everything from a disappearing man when they first go in the vault who suddenly appears in the doorway in the next scene, to th tie that was put on and then found its way onto the bed.

Most of them seemed to be wearing the same clothes in the dreams as they did in the vault.

You could see the wires holding the rope up, and ropes don't make a whipping noise, but more of a thud.

There are more ... the list is endless.

Personally, I think it would have done better as a comedy. The best actor in it is Arthur Mullard. It could have done with a slight story change and the presence of Peter Cushing. In fact, this was the only Amicus anthology that he didn't appear in. Perhaps he read the script.

This is one of those anthologies that you won't remember. Give it a miss.

Swim (I) (2021)

It's not bad ...

[2/10 · 4 November 2023]

Well. The pluses. They use real shots of sharks and not the CGI rubbish where the shark attacks and eats people in two seconds.

The bad. The swimmers are touching the ground when in the water. Camera changes and suddenly they are wading in 10ft of water. Then back to them standing firm on the bottom.

Story is basic. They rent a beach house that should have been condemned. There is a major storm shark takes advantage and eats anything that moves.

The special effects, thunder, lighting are quite on the ball and good. But the action all seems to happen too fast. There is no real build up to each kill.

It's okay if you are bored and just fancy a film because there is nothing else on. But remember these are b-rate actors in a film that could be better.

Rise of the Footsoldier: Vengeance (2023)

Not overly impressed ...

[3/10 · 2 November 2023]

I'm a big fan of Rise of the Footsoldier. This effort ...The story is so slow that if it went any slower it would stop. Craig Fairbrass plays the normal characterisation he always does. Dialogue just doesn't hit the mark for an East End gangster movie.

It does link, well sort of, with the other films in the series. Joey is back from Origins, even though in the last one they near enough killed him and told him to get out of London.

Really, the film is just a reason for Fairbrass to be violent and either kill or brutally injure people.

The actors in the ROTF series need to understand that they are all older since the original in 2007. How can they portray younger characters when they are over 15 years older than the original film? Just waiting for "Rise of the Footsoldier - Zimmer frame " to be released.

The Good Doctor (2017–2024)

Voice like a Dalek

[5/10 · 27 August 2023]

The premise of the Good Doctor is very original but I think it should have been left at one series, two at the most. It felt like after that, they were making up the stories or even repeating the problems. It didn't quite hit the point of discrimination faced by someone with the same condition as Dr Shaun Murphy.

But his voice just was a complete switch off for me. I know he had to portray a character with autism but, especially in Series 2 he sounded more like a Dalek. Not sure if Freddie Highmore was the correct casting for the part. If you have watched 'Bates Motel' and then watch this, his characterisation is the same. You can tell it is Freddie Highmore.

Personally I hated it because of this. But everyone to their own.

Night of the Creeps (1986)

Cult '80's Movie

[7/10 · 23 August 2023]

It's quite good. The lot is here, zombies, aliens, slasher, and slugs, in fact the silliness is that it doesn't know which one to use. The opening scene makes you think it is an alien film, then slugs, then a slasher then zombies.

Fun in parts, but most of all no one seems to care that there is something out there that is killing the fraternity. It's very much an "oh, okay" movie.

For its time, the special effects are exceptionally good although the cat and the dog who have been turned into, well, zombies I think, are quite dodgy. But that's the attraction. It is an 80's B movie that everyone will love to watch. It doesn't take anything serious throughout. Have a laugh and watch it.

The Meg (2018)

Stupidly boring

[3/10 · 31 July 2023]

How many times has a story like this been done now? Wasn't Deep Blue Sea enough without Jason Statham having a go at playing his same characterisation that he plays in every film that he is in?

He is just convincing enough as an actor for films like this. You can tell that he is just stood on a CGI green screen because the look in his eyes says it all.

So here we have another shark film, only this one is super huge that seems to attack anything that has lights on.

The script is terrible. There's no urgency in the fact that they are being attacked by. 25 meter long super shark. It's a wonder that they just don't stop and have a tea break.

Why they have ever made a number 2 is beyond me.

The Full Monty (2023– )

Should have left it alone

[3/10 · 19 June 2023]

It's just not funny. The charm has gone. Mark Addy's character carries the whole series which is overlong with more than enough unnecessary storylines.

Just why do film and television companies persist with reviving something last seen decades before? Most have forgotten what the original was about and those that do remember just want the laugh of seeing the cast get their kit off again.

Are they running out of stories to tell? Can the producers not look out for the new and unknown talent for the basis of something new?

Face it, the cast in this are old, should all be on Zimmer frames and would probably do their backs in just standing on the stage before they even took the first garment off.

It is in two words, boring and rubbish.

Hypnotic (2023)

Over complicated

[2/10 · 9 June 2023]

Dialogue is so poor in this slow paced, most of the time boring, attempt at an Inception style thriller.

It gets too complicated for its own good. Then the ending is a spoken summary by Ben Affleck of the story of what happened. It was like they couldn't be bothered to film the most important parts of the movie but just told you about it instead. Either that or they ran out of money.

The characters all speak one liners whilst waiting for a reply from another character in another one liner.

"Hello." "Hello" If you get the drift.

How Ben Affleck signed up for this piece of trash I don't know. But if he does too many of these bombers he can say goodbye to Hollywood.

In all, don't waste your time.

Pearl (2022)

Actually quite good ...

[8/10 · 14 May 2023]

I was sat trying to match this to a past film and genre. In the end I thought it was 'Misery' mixed with a female 'Psycho'.

Mia Goth is genuinely scary in a funny way. All she wants is to be loved but goes the wrong way about doing it.

What with an over-controlling mother, a paraplegic father it is no wonder why she like she is. But she doesn't stop there. The cinema projectionist who wants to be her boyfriend, her cousin and finally her husband who has just come home from the First World War.

They are all goners and fed to her pet crocodile.

Okay, at first you sit there and ask yourself 'What's this all about' but then you find yourself enjoying it.

I loved it and would well recommend.

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

What a pile of ...

[1/10 · 12 May 2023]

Awful isn't a good enough word. With a script that appears to be written on the back of a matchbox this has got to be the worst horror film of the decade.

Okay, a bit biased as I am a big fan of the original 1981 Evil Dead from the master Sam Raimi. That was scary and a vision of the future for all horror films to come.

Fast forward 42 years and Hollywood puts out this complete insult to the master.

Lots of blood and gore and set in the surroundings of an apartment with a cast of seven. You just sit there hoping that all of them will be put out of their misery quicker than the film lasts.

Don't waste your time on this junk. You will be extremely disappointed.

The Pope's Exorcist (2023)

Oh dear. How slow is this ....

[3/10 · 5 May 2023]

If you can put up with Russell Crowe's attempt at an Italian accent, or was it Spanish, or French? 😂 That coupled with poor overdubbing of the demon's voice on the boy makes this a terrible film.

Overlong and slow, not even atmospheric which is where slow movies conquer.

It is an all too-complicated story that the average cinema goer will lose track of after about 30 mins.

Russell Crowe has never managed to revive his success of 'Gladiator' and he isn't going to do so with films like this.

To understand the script you actually have to be a qualified exorcist yourself, and know every verse of the bible inside out. Only then will you have a chance of understanding it.

I have only ever seen one slower film. It was called, 'Watching Paint Dry'.

Don't bother with it.

Scream VI (2023)

Boring ...

[3/10 · 30 April 2023]

The first SCREAM was original and exciting to watch. The product of a good director and production team.

Let's just say it reached the end of its tether some time ago, probably after Scream 2.

This attempt at scaring the cinema goer is overlong, lacking the 'Ummpphh' and the scares and has turned the franchise into a complete joke. How many more times do we have to put up with the revival of a practically dead storyline?

Gail Weathers is back, although showing her age with wrinkles and all.

The kills are becoming that little more graphic. The original film had you thinking about the kill. At times you didn't have to see the blood and gore as you imagined it. Scream 6 seems like just an excuse to slash someone.

So, unless you are a big horror fan who just likes whatever Hollywood has to throw at you, I wouldn't waste time on watching this.

Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023)

A sad return ...

[3/10 · 16 March 2023]

The television series was good. But this feature is too little, too late. It's overlong with not a brilliant base for a story. That mixed with Andy Serkis' weird hairstyle makes the film in parts quite boring and unbelievable.

They are also the only heroes that can battle extreme snow conditions walking in a blizzard whilst only wearing a suit.

Luther being placed in prison was an unnecessary and stupid story line which didn't quite come together And proves that this should have been left as a TV series and ended when the TV series ended.

Not even Idris Elba seems interested in acting well throughout.

Leave it alone.

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

Surprisingly good ...

[7/10 · 25 February 2023]

I always worry about M. Night Shyamalan's movies as you get one good one and then a handful of stinkers.

This is his best for a long time. There's a great cast although it's a shame for Rupert Grint as he isn't in it for long. There's an original story together with some brilliant back stories that have meaning to the script. Who could imagine big Dave Bautista being the good bad-guy? He does it with haunting calmness.

The dialogue and script is on the ball most of the time but does have its moments when you realise it has had a touch from the Director which is not always the best idea going on past efforts.

There is always a twist at the end of Shyamalan's films and this one is no different. Plus, for once, the two main protagonists are gay. Good to see.

I would go to the cinema to watch this again. I don't say that too often about a Shyamalan film.

The Lair (2022)

Oh dear ...

[1/10 · 5 February 2023]

So you have a man called TAFF who at first sounds Scottish. An American Major trying his hardest to put on an American accent. An RAF pilot who doesn't know how to hold a rifle and doesn't know the law of engagement of once you fire, move position.

Well the dialogue is awful. The casting is awful.

It's like a poor man's 'Descent', a film that was actually original and scary. The lair is laughable. It's so bad that it's one of those films that you have to keep on watching just to se what happens next that is going to be bad. For example, they get away from the creatures by hiding in a bunker, but there is no lock on the door. But still the creatures can't get in. And they stop trying.

Don't waste your time. 😂

Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

Trash

[1/10 · 30 October 2022]

Better than I thought it would be but still terrible though. I watched it in bed on a Sunday morning. Until the end of the film there is quite an absence of the Creeper, seconds at a time if that. The film just didn't add up really. The significance of the woman in the shop who was planning for the youngsters to be sacrificed was just lost once she locked the door. The film made you think that she was a part of it in a bigger way.

This is a prime example of a franchise that has been taken too far and it is now producing the usual horror crap just for the sake of it. The original 'Jeepers Creepers' although not a masterpiece, was original and quite scary.

This piece of trash isn't worth the time.

Watcher (I) (2022)

Cracking thriller

[8/10 · 19 September 2022]

It's slow, atmospheric and scary. Burn Gorman who plays the Watcher has to be the most haunting psycho for years. His piercing eyes all blackened that stare right through both the victim and the viewer. Scary.

It's one of those 'Is he - Isn't he' type of thrillers where you find yourself doubting even your own sanity.

Is he following her or is it just coincidence that he lives in the same neighbourhood and therefore shops in the same supermarket or catches the same train home.

But when your husband doesn't believe your fears and you have to take on the psychopath yourself, well, it lines up for a cracking ending.

Well worth a view. I found it brilliantly scary.

Black Bird (2022)

Atmospheric and scary

[8/10 · 19 September 2022]

Taron Egerton does a star turn as James Keene, drug dealer and arms distributor who gets caught but accepts a deal with the FBI. He has to befriend a child killer called Larry Hall (Paul Walter Hauser - In top form) The good thing about this six episode thriller is it takes the time to reach the climax. Keene has to befriend and win the trust. In reality this would take the time that is expressed in the mini-series. It's not rushed.

Several times nearly getting caught or even suspected by the Child killer it makes you want to shout at the TV 'Quick-Get out'. The suspense is thrilling.

It leads up to a scary ending where even Keene himself is affected by what Larry Hall admits to him and it scare him.

Based on a true story, and I always hate the 'based on' quota placed on TV/Movie because you don't know what Hollywood has added or changed.

But it's good. Damn good. You will find yourself binge watching so make sure you start episode 1 early in the evening.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

It's bad

[3/10 · 15 September 2022]

All the hype before it was released, supposedly going back to the story after T2. But it is more like T3 Rise of the machines for the misfiring stunts and poor script and dialogue.

Let's face it, 'The Terminator' was original with an excellent electronic soundtrack. T2 was better but in different ways. The special effects were amazing. Who can remember the Terminator rising from the chequered floor? T3 was ... well T3. Action packed trash.

Dark Fate must have put a nail in the coffin for the Terminator franchise. I don't even know why James Cameron had his hand in this one no matter how small in some form as a producer.

Yes, it is good to see Arnie back doing what he does best, but he doesn't. Linda Hamilton is also back. But their presence never really had a part.

128 minutes long which was 127 minutes too long.

Don't waste your time.

Orphan: First Kill (2022)

Not a patch on the original ...

[2/10 · 5 September 2022]

The first film was original, atmospheric and scary. It also had you thinking that it could happen.

This 'Prequel' is terrible. Anyone who cannot see that 'Esther' isn't a woman in her thirties must be thick. Each scene just happens too quickly. There is no build up to a finale. No scares. It just suddenly happens without any reason. The actors are doing just that and not very well. Just going through the motions without any emotions.

It's one of those films that they have made just for the sake of making another with a hope of making another after it.

Stick to the original with Vera Farmiga. It's must better than this trash. I wouldn't even recommend it for a Sunday-evening film night.

The Midwich Cuckoos (2022)

The kids are scary!

[8/10 · 3 September 2022]

I was engrossed from the very first episode which is usually a good sign. Even though it is slow and atmospheric, the series grabs you with both hands and you find yourself wanting to know what happens next which is one of the reasons you may find yourself in binge watch mode.

The kids are scary. Well acted and they look like they are enjoying themselves by playing the evil parts.

As in many cases, the book is better, but this is one of the better adaptations of Midwich. You will find yourself wanting to read the book afterwards just to see the book to screen differences, and there aren't many.

Well worth every minute of a watch so settle down with a bag of crisps, glass of wine and enjoy it.