filmfan-95355 Reviews

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (2023– )

Baffling. Wasted opportunity

[5/10 · 17 January 2024]

Godzilla-0 achieved something that lacks here, it made us care about the characters before having them face the giant. In this show we are supposed to care about terrible people. The writers think having characters do unlikable things make them complex or interesting...they do not. We have no idea why should we care about them, why should we care about Monarch and we are always waiting for too brief appearances from monsters.

Everyone has a secret that's too boring to unravel, always forced into alliances we don't care. I preferred the scenes in the past, but still confused about motivations.

House of Darkness (2022)

Justin Long should just stay away from stranger's houses

[2/10 · 24 January 2023]

A "sexy horror" movie that's neither scary nor sexy. The dialogue is kind of like that bit in the 40 year Old Virgin in which the guy tries to seduce a woman by answering every question with another question...except here it's played straight to exhaustion for 90 minutes. The actors try to elevate the material...but there's is nothing to elevate. This is Riftraxx level of quality. There isn't much to say other than that but IMDB forces me to keep writing so I'll just mention much better, small horror movies; Deadstream Saloum Anything for Jackson The innocents Speak no Evil Metamorphosis Fresh.

Day Shift (2022)

Meh

[5/10 · 20 August 2022]

Pretty soulless and bland, only coming alive in certain action scenes. The humor is forced and not really organic from the characters, they just say lines that I guess someone thought would be funny but there's no personality except from the lead. The scene with the team of brothers was a stand out, they should've made the movie about those two. And do they always have to set a "bigger baddie that might come in a future movie"??? This film feels like it was written by an algorithm.

Hydra (I) (2019)

Smaller flick with kick ass action

[8/10 · 31 May 2022]

Brisk and straightforward flick about a retired killer trying to make amends for his past deeds being forced back into the game. You won't find huge set pieces, slow-mo/ fast forward bs or shaky-hand footage cut endlessly; just very well choreographed, very kinetic fights, shot wide so you can actually see what's happening and where it's happening. The combatants are so skilled with the blade that it makes you feel that the slightest mistake can and actually becomes lethal, raising the stakes. That aspect reminded me of the last fight in The Raid part 2.

Give this smaller flick a try, at 72 minutes you'll be glad you did.

The Bubble (2022)

Overstays it's welcome

[5/10 · 25 April 2022]

The cast seems to be having a blast and it's got a couple of funny jokes...but it's overlong and you feel every minute of it. So much comedic talent and it still feels flat. What is it trying to say? Does it have anything to say? Plenty of threads that lead nowhere...

The Feast (2021)

Unsettling and bonkers

[8/10 · 22 February 2022]

Really enjoyed this flick. I see some people complaining about the slow build but I guess they were waiting for cheap jump scares, which the movie doesn't have. It reminds me of Takashi Miike's Audition; the movie has this sense of dread and messed up imagery that leads to a bonkers third act. It will reward your patience, and if you are looking for a solid, slightly different horror flick, this is a better choice than your usual "model-looking dumb people go to an abandoned place and get jump scared to death"

The Deep House (2021)

It's better than it deserves to be

[7/10 · 22 February 2022]

Watched it with no expectations and turned out to be pleasantly surprised. Some very eery imagery, a fun twist on the haunted house genre and couple decent scares. You won't be bored on this one.

A House on the Bayou (2021)

Trash. And not in a fun way

[2/10 · 22 February 2022]

"You don't believe in the devil, but the devil believes in you"...this cliched af line was uttered in the trailer and should serve as an indication of the level of writing in the movie. I thought it would be bad in a fun kind of way...but it's just bad. Nonsense followed by eye rolling twists followed by terrible dialogue. I was hoping that the MST3K would show up any minute, that's how bad it was.

Cowboy Bebop: Cowboy Gospel (2021) Season 1, Episode 1

A clunky labor of love

[8/10 · 20 November 2021]

The action, unlike the anime's fluid fight scenes, is clunky The dialogue a little stilted and overly dramatic.

The End credits don't have awesome music like the original And yet.... As a diehard fan of the anime...I enjoyed the heck out of this. Not sure if I enjoyed the change to Faye, I thought she was a very complex and layered character in the original and here she's merely another ass-kicking bounty hunter instead of the cunning woman on the run she was in the anime.

Love the new tunes and I hope to see more Bebop in the future.

Saint Maud (2019)

Atmospheric thriller. Don't expect much in jump scares

[8/10 · 4 June 2021]

Don't walk into this movie expecting a roller coaster of frights. In true A24 fashion, this one is all about dread. The character of Maude has found purpose through religion as her life spirals out of control. It's a challenging film and the lead actress is superb. It's short and the end punches you in the gut. Not a fun horror movie but a mediation on how people fill the loneliness in the their lives.

Get Duked! (2019)

Very funny! Won't regret watching it

[8/10 · 16 May 2021]

Was looking for something to kill the time during pandemic and came across this flick. Wasn't expecting much...and it turned out great. The jokes never stop and they mostly land. Doesn't overstay it's welcome. Some jokes had me laughing out loud. It gets preachy at the end but at least it's got something to say. Kinda reminds me of Attack the Block. Can't wait to see what this team does next, highly recommended.

Mara (I) (2018)

Yawwwwn

[3/10 · 16 May 2021]

Imagine if Nightmare on Elm St had Freddy Krueger, no fun kills or no logic.

The plot makes no sense. A psychologist goes to crime scenes and interrogates suspects under the supervision of Detective Exposition. A non scary ghost chokes people in their sleep.

Kuryolenko is above the material. She does her best but there isn't much to do.

I Care a Lot (2020)

What if Breaking Bad but with a girl and a terrible script

[1/10 · 28 February 2021]

Like a previous reviewer said, I fail to understand any message from this movie. Is it about girl empowerment? Even though they are criminals abusing people who can't defend themselves? Why would we cheer for them if we don't know much about them and have no redeeming qualities? "She's a tough, badass white girl and no man will defeat her in her quest...to abuse the rights of senior people...and she will single handedly defeat the entire Russian mafia, composed of stereotypical dumb guys led by one scary dude" I laughed as she was telling the "Russian mafia immigrant" how tough she is and why she's successful. Fantasy fulfillment of a 90 pound white girl to take down some evil, dumb foreigners. I like the leads... I think the conservatorship angle is intriguing but the plot is a mess.

Bad Boys for Life (2020)

You know what you are getting

[7/10 · 23 November 2020]

You get some comedy and some shooting. Aside from one chase, the action is pretty generic. It's a fun way to spend couple of hours but you'll probably forget it once the credits roll.

The Mermaid (2016)

Chow at its finest

[9/10 · 23 November 2020]

Some sequences in this flick will leave you in stitches. Chow is here at his finest, mixing comedy with lots of heart and an ecological message. Reminded me of the best of Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle. Movie takes a dark turn but makes a point.

The New King of Comedy (2019)

Chow always delivers laughs

[8/10 · 22 November 2020]

Don't come in expecting the Looney Tunes level of insanity from Kung Fu Hustle; this flick is subdued in comparison. It still got tons of laughs, slapstick comedy and heart. It lags a bit in the middle but hey, any new Stephen Chow film is always welcome. Even his lesser movies are way more fun than most of the dreck they populates streams like Netflix.

Fantasy Island (2020)

Someone forgot to make the horror movie scary

[2/10 · 22 November 2020]

What's the point of this flick? It sucks as a thriller, it sucks as horror...it's not even entertaining in a it's-so-bad-It's-good-way. It's got the scares from a scooby doo episode alongside the writing of a lesser scooby doo episode. The movie's so often twists are so eye rolling it may have caused permanent eye damage on my retina. It takes special skills to make sexy ladies running for their lives in a tropical island so bland and boring ....sucks to see such talented people stuck in this dreck

Beast (III) (2017)

Great lead, outstanding little flick

[8/10 · 18 October 2020]

Pretty solid flick anchored by the tremendous Ms Buckley. Don't go in there expecting a horror fest; it's a slow burn filled with twists and turns and foreboding tension looming over everything. Highly recommended!

Color Out of Space (2019)

Cronenberg meets Lovecraft

[7/10 · 17 October 2020]

I thought this would be another disposable Cage flick he seems to push every other week. It was actually entertaining. Dashes of WTF moments, an unsettling vibe and plenty of imagination, not a bad way to spend the night if you are looking for some decent scares.

Primal (2019)

Cage. Terrorists. CGI animals...this should be cheesy fun. Not really

[4/10 · 17 October 2020]

I'm all down for the Cageneassance. Bring on the weird, funky and sometimes cheap flicks from Nic Cage, I say. Mandy, Color out of space...good stuff. But this...felt like Cage and Famke Jensen deserve better. Cage is trying to be at his Cageiest...but even him looks bored.

Tales of Halloween (2015)

Meh

[4/10 · 17 October 2020]

Someone watched Trick R treat and decided to do something similar with a fraction of the talent. Jokes never land and scares are never scary. It's a nice poster though...

Warrior (2019–2023)

Hear me out; Andrew Koji should be the next 007

[10/10 · 17 October 2020]

More people should talking about this awesome show! A sprawling crime saga rooted in likable characters and awesome set pieces. I'd rank it alongside Netflix's Daredevil as one of the best action shows in recent history. If you are looking for a fun show and a low commitment (only 1 and a half season so far) I'll definitely recommend this.

Not familiar with the lead actor plying Ah Sam but he's got blockbuster charisma.