Change Your Image
stalkingwolf83
Reviews
Pyewacket (2017)
Meh...
I like supernatural horror, and I like 'slow burn' horror at that (never heard of this term until I read some of the other reviews). But it has to be done right.
The main character is Leah, who is a troubled teen and part of a group of mallcore wannabe Goths. Her father is dead and she lives alone with her mom, who ofcourse she does not always get along with. One day her mother decided to move to a different place to erase the memories of her dead father. Leah does not agree with this because she will lose her wannabe Goth friends and decides to perform some evil ritual to get rid of her mom.... That's right folks, when your mother decides to move and you disagree with it, you simply kill her... right ?
The first half of the movie is pretty tedious, with very little happening. The dialogues are dull and full of overused f-bombs. When the story finally gets rolling, it still barely gets exciting. The evil creature (or whatever it is) gets about 5 minutes of screen time.
Overall, I feel this movie was a cross between teen drama and an attempt to be scary, at which it failed. While still better than the average slasher flick or Rob Zombie remake, I can't recommend this if you want to watch a real scary horror movie.
5/10
Nine Miles Down (2009)
Interesting idea, pulled of badly
It's one of those movies that had potential but somehow does not really uses it.
The storyline is your typical ingredients for a good psychological thriller/horror movie that constantly has you and the viewer questioning their mind. A man is sent to a deserted drill site in the Sahara desert, where a series of unexplained deaths have taken place. As soon as he arrives, a mysterious woman appears who claims to be the survivor of the scientific team, but who is she really ?
Already at the start the movie just rushes by without letting the atmosphere really do its' work. And as soon as the storyline really gets off, the film deteriorates into one big confusing mess. It just uses the same old "hallucinations within an hallucination within an hallucinations etc." formula over and over again ad tedium.
The female character barely adds anything to the storyline, she's just eye candy and the ending still doesn't explain anything about her.
Shame, because the movie did have some potential. Oh well, still better than Rob Zombie I guess.
Portal (2009)
A decent camera can't be THAT expensive...
Calling this movie low-budget would be an understatement. Wow, it's as if someone shot this movie through a webcam. Yes, it's that bad.
Now, on to the story: 2 guys are driving to a gig nearby when suddenly they get stuck in a huge cloud of fog. They strand in a strange village with a strange motel where they find out the time is different from inside their car and that there's something strange about the people inhabiting the village.
Of course this doesn't very original but I figured the atmosphere would make up for it. Well, there's little to no atmosphere to be found thanks to the crappy camera quality. The script could have saved it but it's a total mess. I had no idea what was going on and frankly I stopped caring near the end. The acting of the main characters is decent but the other actors were awful, part of the reason I stopped caring.
Avoid this and spend your money and time on better horror movies with a decent budget.
House of Wax (2005)
Not bad for a remake (which isn't saying much I know)
The words 'remake' in combination with the name 'Paris Hilton' should be enough to make me puke, but when I caught this movie on TV late at night I noticed this movie wasn't so bad as I thought it would be. Unfortunately I could not finish this movie entirely so I rented it later on and I must say, I was pretty surprised. Of course it isn't anywhere near Oscar material but compared with other remakes you can do a lot worse than this.
As you already might know, this movie is a remake of the original House Of Wax from 1953 (which was also a remake of an earlier I've been told), starring the legendary Vincent Price. As with all horror remakes, the original cast was removed and replaced by a group of adolescent bimbos who get lost and get killed for no reason etc. I have not seen the originals so I can only judge this movie on it's own merits.
Once you ignore the predictable and cliché story (group of young people get stranded and lost etc.) and focus on the overall mood and seting you'll be in for a pleasant surprise. The wax house itself and all the dolls are well made and the suspense is nicely built up. Only the ending is a bit lame but did not stop me from enjoying this movie.
Like I said, for a remake you can do a lot worse than this.
I've Been Waiting for You (1998)
Not bad
I caught this movie on TV a few years ago and wasn't expecting much ( I never do of teen horror movies) but this was OK.
It's about some girl who moves to a new town and hears about a legend of a witch burned and that there's still a group of descendants of the witch who formed a club and believe the girl to be a reincarnation of the witch their ancestors burned earlier.
OK I'll be honest here, I had to refresh my memory on this page on the story because I did not remember much of it but I do remember mildly enjoying this movie.There is no gore or pointless bloodshed in it, but it does have it's exciting moments (I wasn't as much of a horror movie buff as I am today).Recommended for a good night of somewhat cheesy fun.
Up (2009)
And I thought Ratatouille was lame and overrated...
I rented this movie a week ago after hearing and reading all the hype around it.I really like animated movies be it by Pixar or Dreamworks or Disney or otherwise.
Boy was I beat.And no it was not the "sad" opening scene that disappointed me (the only thing sad about this movie is how bad it was), but the entire silly story and characters.
The movie starts about some explorer/adventurer named Charles Muntz who went to south America in search of some mythical creature but is accused of forgery. Carl Fredericksen, the main character, idolizes him and dreams of a journey to south America on his own.He meets Elli, a young girl with similar taste. They marry, but Elli later dies and Carl lives on his own and discovers that the area surrounding his house is becoming urbanized with skyscrapers.He refuses to move but when they come to bring him away to an retirement home he moves away by thousand of balloons attached to his house.Underway he discovers some fat annoying boy-scout named Russel who bothered him earlier is traveling along.
*warning spoilers*
They land in South-America where they come across some big endangered bird who is chased by vicious dogs who are able to talk thanks to some collar around their necks. The dogs turn out to belong to Charles Muntz the explorer who somehow has managed to become over 110 years old and has settled in that place and his chasing that strange bird.Russel and Carl refuse to hand over the bird so the 110 y/o man starts a wild chase after the other old fart while both are still capable of doing things nobody of that age is able to.Of course Carl wins and they all lived happily ever after.
Did you read it all ? Now I know you should take animated movies not too serious,but this ???? The story was so ridiculous, even for an animated movie.
Not to mention the horrible characters; I hated that grumpy old man,I hated that fat little kid ,I hated how they turned a once respected adventurer into a bad guy and I especially hated that stupid idea of talking dogs. You can almost see the producers thinking "wait a second, an animated movie with no talking animals in it ? Let's put in some silly concept like dogs talking through collars or else the audience might not like it". Well, it turned out awful.
Go watch Finding Nemo or Monsters,Inc. and avoid this over-hyped crap.
House of Fears (2007)
Nothing you gave not seen before (and better)
I rented this movie simply because I did not have many other choices. I did not expect it to be great, which is about correct.
It's just another simple teen slasher movie that we've seen a million times before. A bunch of good looking dumb cliché teens break into a house only to get killed.....very original. Especially funny is how the makers put in some silly background story about some African statue.Very silly and completely obvious that is was put in just for the sake of having a "story".
Skip this folks, it adds nothing to the already dying horror genre. For a good and original horror movie look elsewhere.
Carnival of Souls (1998)
one of the most pointless remakes ever
It's hard to find a remake that actually does justice to the original,but this one is almost downright insulting.
Thre story has very little,if anything,to do with the one of the original.And whos idea was it to cast Larry Miller as the bad guy ?He is so terribly miscast.
One thing I noticed about all the positive reviews is that they say the movie should be considered a 'drama' instead of horror.Please tell me,why name it after a horror movie if it's supposed to be a drama ? I would never believe a 40 year old original could still outdo a modern remake but apparently it can.