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Kev50027
Reviews
Transformers (2007)
Pretty girls, not much else
This is written from the point of view of someone who was never interested in Transformers, and watched the movie because it had a high rating on IMDb.
If you don't like comic books, you will hate this movie. Sure, there are pretty girls, but they are acting as if robots are humans. The acting in this movie is a huge letdown. It's as if Disney has made one single movie that combines the terrible features of all of their movies, added robots, and released it.
If you enjoy comic books, Transformers type stuff, you may be interested to see how it is depicted in a film once more, but don't get too excited.
If you liked The Matrix, this movie may not be for you, the robots look just like robots, yet the movie asks you to look at them as humans, and this is what bugs me. They have cheesy deep voices, and this film is full of over-used robot humor.
After seeing this film, I almost feel like everyone in the movie was a robot, they all acted as if they had no emotions whatsoever, and no touch with humanity. Even the main character is so see-through that it makes the whole film feel like a joke to me.
Towards the end there are so many inconsistencies that it would take a lot of alcohol not to notice them. Just an example (NOT A SPOILER): A main character states something to the effect of "if those were our planes they wouldn't fly lower than the buildings". 5 minutes later, their planes are flying just a couple hundred feet over the ground in a big city.
It's things like this that could easily be fixed, but absolutely ruin the movie for all of us. It's almost as if the director never actually watched the movie all the way through, or didn't care enough to fix any of the problems.
Sorry Transformers fans, I respect your passion, but this movie was still terrible.
300 (2006)
Disappointing to say the least
I can just see what the writers of the script were saying when preparing this movie.
Writer 1: Dude, this 300 story is totally a bummer, there's like nothing really exciting about it. What can we do to make it super cool and like make us rich?
Writer 2: Monsters!
Writer1: Dude! Totally! Monsters make everything super awesome, but this has got to be a blockbuster, what else can we add to this ancient story?
Writer 2: Matrix effects!
Writer 1: Heck yeah! monsters and Matrix effects! Woah dude, you're totally trippin! Now all we have to do is advertise it like crazy dude!
My thoughts on the film:
They took an ancient story that is more myth than truth, added monsters, Matrix like bullet time effects on people using swords, and changed the colors a bit.
Another huge letdown in this movie is that they talk about fighting for Sparta, yet they don't even let us see Sparta in the film! We don't know what it's like there, and the audience doesn't have any emotional connection with the city/state (in the film, it's called a "country", while the idea of a country didn't come around until after the French Revolution). This movie is akin to watching someone play the PS2 hit game God of War. It slows down every time something violent happens, then speeds back up with that over used Matrix style from 1999.
The story is abysmal, and since I already knew the ending (this myth was taught to me as fact in High School), there are no plot twists or anything at all to keep me interested. This movie should be a horror film, made to show how badly Hollywood can mess up a perfectly fine myth.
The Headsman (2005)
Decent movie, but some terrible cinematography towards the end
This movie is alright, but it could be a lot better. The majority of the film is excellent, with good camera angles and good acting, but near the very end a very cheap trick is used to show the passage of time that just made me want to kick the director. I am not revealing any spoilers, worry not.
The story could be stronger as well, with more developed characters. By the end of the film, I feel I barely know any of the characters. The film seems slightly rushed, and could have been plenty longer. The beginning especially could use some work, it also is rushed.
Overall, I've heard it is accurate, but accuracy doesn't make a great film.
Babel (2006)
Not as great as I expected.
This movie is long, and drawn out. There are periods where you have to wonder why they included it in the film if it could easily be cut. Some long films keep the viewer engaged, but this one is SO drawn out that I lost interest rather quickly. Much of the movie is mundane, average, and doesn't do much to contribute to the story. Also, there are 3-4 different stories in this, and none of them are really concluded.
After watching this film, I have to wonder, is there supposed to be a sequel? I know it's not the type of film to warrant one, but it leaves so many questions unanswered that it bothers me.
The beginning of the film is rather interesting and kept me attentive, but after the main points are made, the rest just kind of drags behind. The whole structure of an average film is thrown into disarray, with there being many climaxes at different points, then an extremely long and drawn out denouement for each story.
Though some may enjoy this type of film, I was not enthused. It wasn't a terrible film, so I gave it a 4, but had I known what it would be like, I would have rather not watched it, and spent my time watching a "better" film.
A Sound of Thunder (2005)
Good idea, terrible movie
Reading the back of the DVD, this movie sounds quite good. Some actors I've heard of, and a really great idea as the plot, but boy did they mess it up somewhere along the way.
When watching this movie, I almost fell asleep. I also came very close to just giving up on it, but I decided I wanted to see the ending, yet it too was a let down. I am amazed that studios let such a terrible movie waste their money away. Sure, there are some great movies out now, like The Prestige (have to watch it a few times, NOT JUST ONCE) but the balance is evened out by the sheer amazing amount of useless movies studios churn out every year.
The thing that bugs me about this movie is that they had it all there, they had a good plot to work with, they had a good idea to start with, but they took it and ran it into the ground with terrible acting, cheap and pathetic looking scenes, and drawing out the story way longer than it needs to be.
Looking back, the entire movie could be half the length and get the same point across. In conclusion, if you like the story, I suggest Jurassic Park, because this movie is putrid.
Employee of the Month (2006)
Not worth the time
This could be a good movie, but there is just NO humor whatsoever. I expected this to be a terrible movie, but it was even worse than expected. I don't honestly understand how someone could put together such a horrid movie.
The plot is obvious, and there are no surprises, the main characters are all shallow and have no depth whatsoever, and above all, after watching the movie, it feels like you've seen it a million times.
If you've ever seen a Disney movie, this movie will be familiar. Once you see the first few minutes and understand the story, the rest is obvious and not even worth watching. I would say this could win worst movie of the year, but the sad thing is, there are worse movies out there.
If you like Disney movies, you may like Employee of the Month, but otherwise, stay far, far away.
Stay Alive (2006)
Terrible Movie
I could tell this would be a bad one from the trailer, but the lure of the DVD box got me to rent it anyway. Boy was I right..
Also for some reason the DVD version is VERY fuzzy and unclear at times (in terms of video quality). It appears as if they shot the whole movie with a 20 year old camcorder, it looks so bad. I really did not like the plot, and after watching the movie I was very let down. I will NOT tell any spoilers, but let it be said that the end was so bad that I laughed, it has been done so many times before.
The whole story seems like something that came out of a middle schooler's English paper. If I had to peg one movie as the worst horror movie I've ever seen, this one may just be it. I can't believe they actually released this film. It really isn't worth the rent, or a penny of anyone's money unless you want a good laugh at the movie's expense.