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dj__moog
Reviews
Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)
the irony of it all
I cannot give an exact definition of the meaning of irony so here's an example. A teenage actress stars in a series of annoying teen films but the one time she's actually good the film she's in goes way past the point of annoying and becomes excruciating. That said, a truly remarkable performance by Marisa Coughlin. Back in the 30's she would have made Bette Davis cringe. What the 00's hold in store for her however is perhaps a small part in Scream 4. Isn't it ironic don't you think bah bah bah.
Enemy at the Gates (2001)
i saw no gates. much less an enemy standing outside
I find films that bend history to suit their storyline mildly annoying. The eastern front was anything but a war of heroes and a film that concentrates on a couple of snipers having a showdown in Stalingrad not only loses touch with historical facts but lacks focus entirely. This is the moulin rouge of war films. Plus the title is totally irrelevant to the film itself.
Nice sceneries though.
Scream (1996)
why isn't jennifer love hewitt in it?
Fun to watch i'll admit but still there was something bugging me about this one that i couldn't figure out when i first saw it. Now i think i know what it was. It's so damn pristine! I mean look at all those fresh-faced teens. They 're so trendy. They 're so hip! So much that you absolutely have to Know What They Did Last Summer (come to think of it where was jennifer love hewitt when they were casting for scream?). They're media fodder. So come on! This is supposed to be a frat horror flick. Where are the losers? Where are the geeks? Where are the jocks? Where are the flunkies? All been replaced by GAP material. But above all where is the gore? Sure Courtney's got a pretty face. But if its a horror movie we want to see then she'd look far better with guts all over her.
Forrest Gump (1994)
this picture must mean a lot to americans...
...but nothing much to the rest of us. And since the rest of us are many many more we can't be all that wrong. 'Big' in comparison is like a milestone in the history of film-making. I mean think about it. 'I wish i were BIG!'. Inspiring. Universal. Forrest Gump on the other hand is despite the budget a mediocre film about an entire nation catching their reflection in the mirror. And staying there forever in awe of themselves. Wish to be small again.
Ôdishon (1999)
its a documentary actually!
Up until i saw this film i'd never given much thought to how we visualize the everyday lives of people we barely know. Say you call up a girl you only recently met, how would you know what she's really up to? Is she havin' a hot cup of coffee before her TV set? Or is she vomiting in a plate to feed her savagely mutilated father whom she keeps in a sack someplace? It's particularly interesting the way this movie delves into the psyche and ethos of modern japanese society. In that sense its more like a documentary than a horror film. The main character in the film is your text-book japanese executive with all the complexes one would expect him to carry. Parochial, patriarchal, scholastic, a work-aholic who holds an audition(!) to find himself a wife who's young, subtle, pure and unblemished and preferably one who can dance like his late wife did. This figure ends up, as the allegory suggests, being eaten up by his doubts and fears. Or as the director has it, losing an eye and a leg. The issues tackled here resemble those Cronenberg is usually busy with. The atmosphere however is not as clinical and the imagery resembles that of Argento's films. The direction is nothing special but eventually any flaws and omissions are overshadowed by the story itself.
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
a household appliance (not!)
SPOILERS, SCHMOILERS!!!
I only got to see this film last night and it hasn't quite set in yet. Instead of trying to bisect it i keep telling myself that dish-washers are meant to be functional. Films and any of the elements they comprise are not.If there's some sort of hidden mechanism driving the whole thing then i haven't found it. And won't look very hard either. I call 'em as i see 'em and I'd be hard pressed in my time as a viewer to recall of a love story more heart-breaking than that of betty/diane and a love scene more desperate, passionate and unforeseen than that between the two leading characters.
The Others (2001)
the dead outnumber the living alright (POSSIBLE SPOILER!)
Good one Alejandro! Splendid direction by any standard. The ambience of this film is breathtaking. Only thing is that the story of the people who haven't been told they're dead yet sounds awfully familiar. And this "boo, i scared you" type of horror just doesn't cut it for me. Still great to watch in a crowded theatre though!
Aerines siopes (2000)
avoid at any cost
What can one say about this one? Unrealistic characters and dialogues, bad performances all around and more sap than you can wave a stick at. Supposed to be some kind of sentimental drama with the greek air force as a background. The main characters hopelessly try to cope with their deteriorating love affairs while maintaining their status as active fighter pilots. LORD!!!!!!!!
Ftina tsigara (2000)
cheap cigarettes indeed
Haralambides, a beatnik-wannabe himself, has a first go at creating a film with beatnik connotations all around. Only it doesn't work out that well. The main character (you guessed it, Haralambides) takes a midnight stroll round the deserted streets of athens with a girl he meets by accident. In the process they hold a 'most mortifying cliche ever' contest by elaborating on matters of life, love, death, what have you, only to come to the conclusion that, well, she doesn't fancy him very much. All this is embellished with parallel storylines taken from the life of our hero (Haralambides, lest we forget) or nowhere in particular (as if anyone cares). The only (mildly) exciting bit in the entire film is Costas Tsakonas's performance (whose name by the way is not even mentioned in the credits). A terrible waste of time, money and talent (definitely not Haralambides's).