This flick was one of the most enjoyable pieces of schlock I have ever had the pleasure of watching. Monkies, time travel, and Charlton Heston's ass! He dines on the scenery with gusto; arching his brows, rolling his neck, raising his lip in a perpetual sneer-Heston is contemptuous of everyone in the film-be it simian turnkey or fellow astronaut. Roddy McDowell holds up his end as well. Being that he plays a "scientist", he is constantly making discoveries-nose a'twitching, head cocked, paws a fluttering. Mac-D just can't seem to help himself. Heston has less of a defense. Sure the dialogue is sub-human-note Chaz' scene with the gorgeous Nova, his mute yet firey mate. (Did it strike anyone else that she had quite a good smile for a primative hunter/gatherer?)The screenwriter offers his own opinion of the acting prowess of El President (of just the NRA, thank god) by having him shot in the throat by the Ape harriers, thus we are spared the ravings for at least twenty minutes. But while his deprived of speech, Heston continues his struggle for freedom-and on this, I gotta side with the apes. They try to pacify- the offering of Nova, clean straw, a nice bracing shower-courtesy of a fire hose-the best the could offer. But the ingrate keeps attacking his hosts. No wonder the tribunal thought he was a menace: as soon as Charlie is allowed out of his cage, he is wrapping his mitts around some monkey's throat. What would you do with such a savage? I would probably have him stuffed and placed in the national museum with big white marbles in his eyes so he looked like the picture of Homer on your tenth grade copy of the Iliad. I swear, Kim Hunter was really scared at times-she wanted no part of this madman, this sunburned with the John the Baptist look in his eye... But is precisely this ranting, the ceasless mugging that make the film so good, well fun at least Why watch a man say "release me, Ape" when the full when we can hear Chuck spit "Get your filthy paws off me, you damn dirty ape!" (I hope that is close to a verbatim quote). It gives us pride in our species-one man, armed with only his hyperinflated sense of importance (and a cool futuristic ape-gun that seems to only shoot richoceting bullets) can confound the entire ape inteligentsia and escape into the forbidden zone (roughly New Jersey)with his hottie.
Reviews
2 Reviews
The Park Is Mine
(1985 TV Movie)
Slightly implausible...
26 March 2001
Like many of the Reagan era action movies, it is rampantly xenophobic, incrediably incoherent, and in no way grounded in reality. Tommy Lee (not the hair band drummer)plays a Vet who takes over central park to generate sympathy for the forgotten soldiers of that war. A noble sentiment, but a man would have to be completely out of his gourd to attempt that...its not like the park has a series of fortified bunkers and a moat around it!!! The most insane plot twist (no one is in suspense about this piece anyway) is that the "authorities" hire two Asian assasins to take out the hero. What the $%^#$^! is that all about? It is just one of the many warped plot contrivances that earn this work a lofty six on the Tango and Cash scale of implausability. Forgive the spelling.
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