Heff2001 Reviews

Return to Sleepaway Camp (2008 Video)

Wow! What did I just watch?

[3/10 · 16 March 2017]

Ummm. Errrr. Uhhh. Okay, so I only kept watching to see how Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten and Paul DeAngelo would do at reprising their roles. Sadly, for them and everyone else in the film, they were stuck in a pile of crap so deep their talents couldn't shine through anywhere.

Tiersten, who was a standout in the original and seemed to have natural acting chops, has nothing to go on. What was Hiltzik thinking? Our hero of the first film has grown up to be an obnoxious backhoe operator with a bad attitude and the apparent IQ of a mosquito? Huh? That actually describes everyone in the film: obnoxious and stupid.

There's not a hint of character development. Everyone is so unlikable, you want them to get killed off as soon as they make their initial appearance. They're loud, can't stop screaming, personality conflicts to the hilt. The only saving grace would have been if Teirsten's clothes fell off somewhere along the way. But no! LOL.

Seriously. It's like watching a train wreck in slo-mo. If there was an "in" joke, it flew over my head by a mile.And what was that last, post-credit scene supposed to be? Jeez, Louise. Why?

Hiltzik, please, we know there's talent there. Make another film ASAP and be redeemed!

Halloween II (1981)

AVOID CURRENT TV CUT!! (running on Chilller a lot)

[5/10 · 6 June 2010]

I remember seeing a cut for television in the 90s that just had some extra footage added in. There's a cut that continues to run on Chiller that completely trashes the film. For some reason, it wasn't good enough to fill time with extra scenes added in for the hack editor that got his hands on this. Whoever it was seems to think that ever cut needs to be logical or he/she could make it better. The opening is trashed, the scene where Ben Tramer gets hit by the car has an alternate take at the end where the deputy tells Brackett about Annie and it's so overacted, it's laughable; scenes are cut into different order, many scenes that worked well (Harold's wife finding the blood on the cutting board, the security guard at the hospital getting it with the hammer, etc - ruined!). If you've seen this cut, you know what I mean. The film was 2/2.5 out of 3 to start with (but a solid enough sequel). This cut makes it a 1 star yawner. Sloppy, hacked and - sad. There's also a version of H20 floating around (Chiller/SyFy) that's equally trashed - probably by the same person. Someone take that guys Avid/Final Cut system away (LOL). As an editor, I was insulted that someone thought they could take a cut of a successful film and try to improve it; it felt like some kid got a hold of imovie and suddenly dubbed himself an editor. SyFy/Chiller should be ashamed for showing these cuts. I know they have to fill time but for Pete's sake, use discretion. I see in the trivia that someone says this sequel "faired poorly". Ummm. It was number 1 at the box office for several weeks in 1981, had a budget of about 2.5 mill and made 26 mill. That's a success (especially for 1981). I believe you're referring to Halloween III, which flopped at the box office. Universal decided not to produce another sequel thereafter and Trancas produced Halloween 4 - 5 (released under Galaxy Pictures).Miramax produced 6 and Dimension H20/Resurrection.

One Million B.C. (1940)

Whew. I don't envy the stuntmen! Or those fightin' lizards!

[8/10 · 6 September 2006]

I recently stumbled across One Million Years B.C. on AMC. When the film began, I thought, "Uh, oh". The opening sequence, aside from incredible looking mountain shot, was not impressive (mainly because of the writing). But I kept watching because of LC Jr. and I'm glad I did. My mindset quickly changed. The stunts and (most of) the fx in this film still hold up today and I can only imagine how thrilling it must've been in 1940! If you can get past some cheesy dinosaurs you'll enjoy this film. And one can understand why the dinosaurs were as is. There's a huge lack of stop motion. Roach was wise to do this --- creating many great moments with live-action and hardcore stuntwork. The "blow up" of the lizards looks cool - some others are hilarious. And I'm sure PETA would have gone crazy. People were probably dropping jaws, though, as we did with Jurrasic Park. It's apparent a lot of hard work and heart went into creating this film. I've gained a new respect for Hal Roach. Lots of fun and required for the "rainy Sunday afternoon" collection.

The Sum of Us (1994)

Worth a look no matter what your sexuality ( or age ).

[8/10 · 14 August 2006]

The first time I saw this film I liked it for it's ability to reach such a wide audience. Male, female, gay, straight, young and old. With superior acting and a quiet, simple tone, it's stellar on so many levels. I like this movie more each time I see it. I usually hate when character's speak to the audience but this is one of the few occasions where it works well. One of Crowe's best performances. It was great to see a gay character that wasn't stereotypical in any way... just a guy but a guy that isn't afraid to be sensitive or tough without being wishy washy or macho. A great dead-on performance of an everyman who just happens to like men. Supporting cast is great. All performances feel natural. Directing is straightforward and the editing is lyrical. If you're heterosexual, don't be put off. The themes here are universal. A great slice of cinema no matter what your sexuality.

The Courtship of Eddie's Father (1969–1972)

Love this show!! And Bill Bixby...

[13 March 2006]

I was about 4 years old when this show was on television and it is one of the oldest and fondest memories I have. Me and my dad would watch this show together every week. It just happened to be on my mom's night out. So, it was just me and him. After the show was over, it was time for me to go to bed. My father would pick me up on his shoulders and carry me upstairs and tuck me in. Excuse the sentimental stuff but I just caught a few episodes and I was overwhelmed with a memory flood. Beyond the childhood reminiscing: the show is pretty pure and straightforward and has something so blatantly missing from most television: heart. And the chemistry between Bill Bixby and Brandon Cruz was right on the mark. I'm a Harry Nillson fan so the theme (changed girlfriend to best friend) is fine with me. Tom Corbett should be inspiration for any dad out there! If you get a chance, check it out.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Another remake; another yawn; another out-of-work screenwriter in Hollywood...

[3/10 · 12 March 2006]

I was really psyched about a remake of the original Hills. However, the 5% of changes made were unoriginal and pretentious. Much of the script is copied and pasted, line for line (which is somewhat obnoxious because there were setups in the dialogue that don't pay off here... like several mentions of rattlesnakes). The car/trailer showdown is not as creative as the original (lacking the body bait and the dragging sequence). The "test village" sequences are disjointed and fall flat (although the fight in the house is great).

Despite all of its low budget cheesiness and flaws, the original is what it is: an original (and labor of love). This remake is just another yawn from the rehash factory.

Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005)

Expected more from a Schrader film-- but don't blame him!

[24 December 2005]

First off: THIS IS NOT the EXORCIST: BEGINNING with extra footage, as stated.

I couldn't wait to see Schrader's prequel to the Exorcist. I hated the Harlan version so much and was disappointed as I read Schrader was fired when his version wasn't liked by the studio heads. He's a talented director (and writer...perhaps he should've re-written this!!!!!!!!???!!).

You can tell, by watching the film, that it may have been plagued from the start (rather than only in post). 90% of it doesn't have the feel of a Schrader movie. I don't want to compare directors. I just feel that this film had a lot going for it but fell short because of studio interference. Instead, it's on par with the Harlan version.

There are some solid scenes but they all seem rushed and lacking style. I dunno. I feel like someone was rushed through a production and not allowed to make the film they wanted to make. You have to be pretty stupid to not give a director like Schrader full run. With some tweaking, and more time given to the director and his crew, this could have been a worthy installment of the Exorcist series. Oh, well. Whine whine whine, bitch bitch bitch.

Werewolf (1987–1988)

Part of the original Fox Premiere Line-up in '87

[20 June 2005]

I liked WEREWOLF and remember watching the entire season. Cool FX (esp for it's day on TV), solid acting and writing. It did make me think: Incredible Hulk meets The Wolfman. I was disappointed it didn't return for another season. It was one of the shows that got me watching FOX when it premiered as a network. Ah, the 80s. Good times. I keep saying it but TV Land should do a "lost shows weekend" and run all episodes! Or perhaps, Fox should do it themselves during the summer slump... run the old shows that put them on the map... like a retro-tribute... and show WEREWOLF, DUET, TRACEY ULLMAN, etc. In any case, a DVD wouldn't sink the studio, would it?

Duet (1987–1989)

Good cast, good show, Fox debut line-up...

[20 June 2005]

I remember DUET as being part of the new Fox network in '87, along with Tracey Ullman, Werewolf, and...hmmm..can't remember the other. DUET was canceled well before its time! The casting was great and the chemistry between the two leads (Laurance & Keller) was excellent. I also remember the spin-off, OPEN HOUSE. LaPlaca was incredibly funny on Duet, the writing for Open House wasn't up to par and didn't do her (or Lemmon) justice. OPEN HOUSE also featured Ellen Degeneres! I dunno, there was just something warm and charming about DUET. I don't use "warm and charming" often, that's for sure! Perhaps TV Land will have a "lost shows" weekend and show it.

Salem's Lot (1979)

It was the 70's people...and TV to boot. A solid mini-series.

[8/10 · 16 March 2004]

Some people are being too harsh on this flick. It was the 70s and a TV movie. I remember (oh, yeah) when it aired it was a big deal. Although some FX might be cheesey by today's standards, I think it's cool overall. James Mason is as good as ever. Barlow is one scary vampire, makeup inspired by (or ripped off of) Nosferatu. Tobe Hooper did a solid job directing. Hey, if you think it could be better, make it yourself. That's my motto.

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

Did someone actually get paid to write this S*@t!?

[1/10 · 27 December 2003]

I was a fan of Friday the 13th before many voters on this flick were probably born. Why? Go figure. The series plummeted into stupidity after part 2...disconnecting sequels and not even following the fate of Tommy from part 4. There should've been a REAL Tommy/Jason showdown somewhere, not the weak one form part 6.

I was also a fan of some of the Elm Streets (Only 1, 3 and New Nightmare). 1 and 3 were the only ones with any inventiveness and 3 was actually a solid script. Hollywood loves to cash in on naive teens. They were doing it when I was young and they'll do it forever. My advice to the youth of today: use your noggin' and go make better movies yourself.

That said, Freddy vs. Jason was so abysmally awful I could not believe what I was watching. The dialogue was the scariest thing in the movie. The acting was bottom of the barrel. Why was Lochlyn Munro in this flick...? Oh, yeah...paycheck.

Now, I'm not saying that anyone should've thought they were trying to pull off Gone with the Wind but jeez, man... can you say "try a little"? If you're gonna take hard earned (or borrowed) money from teenagers, at least write something that doesn't make them look or feel like complete idiots.

I can't believe that someone got paid to write ANOTHER script that feels that teenagers are retarded (explaining stuff every five seconds JUST in case you can't use your brain to get it yourself). However, the fact that so many voters gave this 10 stars just makes me wonder if the screenwriter WAS the smart one and knew exactly the type he was writing for. Avoid at all costs...Freddy vs. Jason is lame in every sense of filmmaking. I'll sit through Plan 9 from Outer Space thirteen times in a row before watching this again.

Interiors (1978)

One of Woody's best...

[9/10 · 27 December 2003]

I've recommended Interiors to several people and some of them thought this film was a bore. Well, they didn't get it. I watch this flick at least once year. It's beautiful, painful and incredibly accurate. The acting is great. The fact that Woody Allen can go from slapstick to such a moving script just shows how brilliant the guy is. He's not the whiner that everyone says they can't stand; and who gives a rat about his personal life? It's those folks that have never seen Interiors, Crimes & Misdemeanors, Hannah and Her Sisters, Husbands & Wives, etc. Take a look. If you're a little further along than Indepence Day, you'll like what you see...Wooy Allen knows people.

The Last Shark (1981)

Abysmal. Good for maybe one laugh...

[21 July 2001]

Holy CRUD! I couldn't wait to see this flick since I heard it was yanked from theatres by Universal for being such a Jaws rip-off. Good Lord... if they even LET it play it wouldn't have cut the mustard. There ARE some cool directorial elements (like the wide slo-mo) but I think they belong elsewhere...like >another movie. This film is so bad, with an awful Soundtrack, that I kept my finger on the fast forward button after the first 8 minutes. James Franciscus looks as great as ever... he and Morrow both try...Morrow a bit TOO much with an overly acted "Quint" impersonation. There is a great scene on a shattered dock and part of the finale is not to be missed because it's so damned hysterical; But despite it's one or two laughs and it's serious attempts by the director and editor to save it, The Last Shark is bad to The Last Frame. A combination of Tentacles, Piranha and Jaws all rolled up into one hell of a rotten script. As usual, though, an "A" for effort.

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

An "A" for effort...

[6/10 · 19 July 2001]

Okay, now that I'm older I can only give F13-2 five stars out of ten. Technically it's fine. Steve Miner pulled off some solid directing for the early 80s and his use of steadicam mimics that of "The Shining". You can say the acting was lame but it really wasn't...the script was. It became apparent as the "Friday" series continued that Paramount was concerned with one thing: cash. The thing that bothered me then was, even at age 14, I thought the follow up scripts SUCKED. Back to the actors...they didn't suck. I LOVE AMY STEEL and try to catch anything that I see her name on. She's a solid pro and has a great look. I've seen JOHN FUREY in other things and he was good. As for BETSY PALMER... you can NEVER say she is a bad actress. Even if she's in the most abysmal movie (THE FEAR 2!!) she lights up the whole production and pumps up the value. Why? She's a traditional actress that knows how to act and give it her all because she's there and agreed to do the job. Maltin even revised his review for part 1 to give her credit. I encourage all F13 fans (old and new) to check out her older flicks (look her up on imdb). But the thing that scared me about F13-2 back then, and still gives me the creeps, was Jason's sheet mask! I thought it was scarier than the hockey mask (now tired). It reminded me of THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN. I liked the fact that Ginny (Amy Steel) was a butt kicker and a truly tough chick for the early 80s. She rocked. And the score by HARRY MANFREDINI was awesome...totally tense. Someone give this guy a major flick and a huge orchestra! Will ya! Although most associated with the Friday's went on to successful careers (successful being subjective) I cannot understand why some of them weren't MORE successful (besides Kevin Bacon). I mean HELLO! Did anyone take any of these young actors seriously? LAURIE BARTRAM and HARRY CROSBY (part 1) had potential written all over her faces! It wasn't their fault they were given lame lines. Anyway, enough banter...those are my thoughts for the flick. Hope I'm not the only nostalgia fan. It's just the bitterness over Paramount blowing what could have been an excellent series. At least the TV Series was VERY cool. And we'll see what Cunningham and his son have pulled off for the new one. SEAN.... I want to write the next one!!!