I've been a fan of Artemis Fowl for years. When I saw the trailer, I was, of course, furious. My brother, another fan, watched the whole film, while I didn't get very far. He said it got worse. I believed him and only wasted 9 minutes and 6 seconds of my life. In less than ten minutes there are numerous errors. For example, Artemis doesn't surf. The therapy scene is from the second book. That Mulch stuff? Nope. From my understanding, it would also be a bad movie on its own, without the shame of being a shoddy adaptation.
Reviews
8 Reviews
Alice in Wonderland
(1951)
I love this movie
8 February 2020
This is my favorite Disney movie and I've seen most of them. It's a classic. Wonderfully weird. The Mad Hatter is great. The March Hare is great. Alice is great. Cheshire is great. The Queen of Hearts is a wonderfully comical villain. I probably like this more than I should, but whatever.
The Umbrella Academy
(2019–2024)
I love it
8 February 2020
It's very weird but that's why it's so good. It has something : time travel, the apocalypse, super powers, humor, fight scenes, a romance subplot or two, a serial killer, dysfunctional families, super heroes, assassins, and it even has some scenes set during the Vietnam War. My point is, you're bound to find something you like in this wonderful mess of weirdness.
The Current War
(2017)
It's an actually decent movie
8 February 2020
Look, nearly everyone hates it. I know this. I also know it can perceived as boring. Is it the most historically accurate? Maybe not, but at least it showed that Edison was a liar who thought only of himself. In spite of the flaws, it's not a bad movie. It has a lot of nice details, like Tesla's OCD (not explicitly mentioned but it's still there).
Jojo Rabbit
(2019)
Great movie
8 February 2020
This is a great movie. One of the best. Tied for second for me. I think that all the haters didn't go into it with an open mind. It's blatantly obvious that it's a satire. If you can get over the fact that Jojo's imaginary friend is Hitler, then there's a good chance you'll love it.
1917
(2019)
This movie is deep and impactful
16 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
From the moment I first saw the trailer, I was captivated. Hell, all the movies that showed this trailer beforehand were overshadowed. I had very high hopes. As in I told everyone that this my favorite movie even though I hadn't seen it. When I finally got to go, I was dying of anticipation. I was also scared I was going be disappointed.
I was wrong. This movie was better than I ever thought any movie could be. I cried. Probably too much. I was crying when I left the theater. I was crying thirty minutes later because I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was thinking about the soldier who was singing Poor Wayfaring Stranger because he knew that they were going to die and the look on Schofield's face as the song was going on. I was thinking about Blake's death and how the words he spoke asked if Schofield knew the way. I thought of how Schofield almost gave up in the river, but then he saw the cherry blossoms. I thought of the moment they were in the abandoned German bunkers and they saw the picture of a family. I thought of Schofield not wanting to think of home and how he didn't want his medal. And I thought of how Blake would never get his medal or to see his family again. Of how he was killed because he wanted to be kind to the enemy. I thought of how, when Schofield woke, he must have thought he was in hell because of how the flares looked. And I thought of how he walked to the tree when the sun was setting. And of how he took out the pictures of his family. And the words come back to us. Not all in the particular order but still. It's been five days yet I still tear up. It's a beautiful movie. I walked out changed.
I was wrong. This movie was better than I ever thought any movie could be. I cried. Probably too much. I was crying when I left the theater. I was crying thirty minutes later because I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was thinking about the soldier who was singing Poor Wayfaring Stranger because he knew that they were going to die and the look on Schofield's face as the song was going on. I was thinking about Blake's death and how the words he spoke asked if Schofield knew the way. I thought of how Schofield almost gave up in the river, but then he saw the cherry blossoms. I thought of the moment they were in the abandoned German bunkers and they saw the picture of a family. I thought of Schofield not wanting to think of home and how he didn't want his medal. And I thought of how Blake would never get his medal or to see his family again. Of how he was killed because he wanted to be kind to the enemy. I thought of how, when Schofield woke, he must have thought he was in hell because of how the flares looked. And I thought of how he walked to the tree when the sun was setting. And of how he took out the pictures of his family. And the words come back to us. Not all in the particular order but still. It's been five days yet I still tear up. It's a beautiful movie. I walked out changed.
Napoleon Dynamite
(2004)
This movie was kinda pointless
11 January 2020
I had to watch this movie with my friends who love it a lot. I found that it was boring and was not funny in the least for a movie that is praised for funniness. The characters were hard to like because they had no emotion whatsoever and they only acted in their own self interest. I don't see how it has amassed such a massive following.
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