suzistringeris Reviews

Zoo (2007)

Animal Farm gone wrong

[2/10 · 22 September 2023]

I don't know why people rate this so highly. Granted, the cinematography is great but the sound is crap. The dialogue is muffled and difficult to hear. This is an uninteresting and boring look into humanity at it's worst. It's kind of like The Deliverance but real and with horses Yep. A bunch of retards partying with educated people find a safe place to escape to and do naughty things. If there had been a serious back story about the consequences of their actions and how it affected those involved it might have been half interesting and achieved what a good documentary does. Instead it's just boring and leaves you wondering why they even made it. If anything I'd say the creators of this pointless thing has contemplated this subject way too much.

Miracles from Heaven (2016)

God save me from this awful god bothering mess

[3/10 · 5 August 2022]

This is dreadful. Watch Million Dollar Baby like I did before this yawnful mess. No one wants to see redneck Texans doubting their faith over a little girl dying. Bring it on I say. America doesn't have enough young kids dying in Texas from mass shootings so this is great.

Midsommer (2003)

Pubic hair eating horror

[2/10 · 30 July 2022]

It's funny. A bunch of silly Americans go to a Swedish commune and unwittingly eat each other and drink a murky looking liquid they should never have touched. The singing and dancing is giddy and fun. Overall I wouldn't call this a horror film.

The Silence (II) (2019)

Just don't unless you're desperate

[1/10 · 9 April 2022]

This is better than A Quiet Place. That's saying something considering apparently there's a Quiet Place sequel. God forbid. Who makes these films? Deaf girls are the rage right now. What I can't hear you.

Windfall (2022)

Didn't even get through the awful overture

[1/10 · 2 April 2022]

This was annoying. Brand new tv. Excited to watch some quality film and found this. I'd rather watch Will Smith kill himself with a box jellyfish. Who wouldn't?

Pig (I) (2021)

For 2021 this is good value

[8/10 · 25 February 2022]

I loved this. Who wouldn't? Nicholas Cage. Not a huge fan. He does films like people eat breakfast. But this is worth a watch. Gets sloppy in the middle but then redeems itself.

Hypnotic (2021)

Great premise poorly executed

[5/10 · 28 October 2021]

What a shame. Someone had a great idea but sold it to the wrong production team. The story had such great potential. I would like to see it remade by professionals. It could be a winner in the right hands. I'd recommend a watch anyway.

The Platform (2019)

Disturbing

[7/10 · 16 April 2021]

I'm deeply concerned about two things. Number one is that this oddity was ever made and number two I could not stop watching it. It's bizarre. I've never seen anything with such a sordid concept. I guess that's why I watched it to the very end. It made me repulsed at myself and repulsed about everthing the film presented. Watch at your own risk. And make sure you watch it on an empty stomach.

Alpha (II) (2018)

Great family movie

[8/10 · 16 April 2021]

I loved this. It may not be 100% historically correct but who cares? Nothing is. I watched it on Netflix and I'll be honest it was a real treat. I watched it without subtitles and still enjoyed it. A must for any families that have a dog and like to share a Sunday movie together.

Derek (2012–2014)

I liked this

[8/10 · 22 January 2020]

At first I thought it was nothing more than a take. It's far from that. It's brilliant and as one other critic said, it made me laugh and cry. For all the reasons. Thanks Ricky. I've never watched your stuff but this was good. Bravo

V-Wars (2019)

Oh my Lordy

[1/10 · 7 December 2019]

This is awful. I starting off thinking hmmm. This is okay. I think I was still drunk from the night before. When I sobered up it wasn't the case. It's a horror trying to be detective series. About vampires and some mutated gene frozen in ice. When the ice melts. You guessed it! The pathogens turn humans into vampires. As soon as the word anthropology was mentioned I switched off. Away with you

Cargo (I) (2017)

Good solid horror

[7/10 · 14 November 2019]

I found this thoroughly enjoyable. Great cast, good dialogue and not any over the top this is just silly I can't even watch it plot holes. Even if you're not into the zombie apocalyptic genre I'd definitely give this a watch. It's not an entirely Australian production but most certainly does prove what the Australian film industry is capable of pulling off some bloody great watching. Well done.

To the Wonder (2012)

Where's the dialogue?

[9 November 2019]

Whimsicle tart gets with Ben Affleck. Stop right there! This movie and I'm calling that because it's not a film is just boring.

Marianne (2019)

It's scary

[8/10 · 18 September 2019]

Silly me. I was getting so annoyed with my internet I didn't know I had my Netflix setting on dubbed English. 🤣. I'm new to Netflix and not that great at tech things. Into episode 6 it was driving me up the wall. Then I figured out how to change my Netflix settings so I can watch it with subtitles which is avast improvement. I'll keep watching without the annoying CGI matching dialogue to the real script. Anyway, it's scary so if you like spooky stuff this is for you

Tall Girl (2019)

Tall Girl Gets Shamed

[2/10 · 14 September 2019]

I'm 5" 11 and a girl. I found this film insulting. I can understand if was firirected by or the screenplay written by a tall lady who got picked on. Well I got picked on. Get over it. I'm not tall. Men are short. Most men I know are six foot or taller. I hate these stereo type films. Does she get the guy? No. He's five foot eight

The I-Land (2019)

Woeful

[2/10 · 14 September 2019]

This is terrible. At first I thought I was watching a really good episode of American Survivor. I don't make a habit of watching that but I'll admit I've watched at least twice. Hence the initial confusion. It's dumb. First oh we can't remember anything, bumb premise for a first episode. Usually means the producer doesn't know what what to do with the cash that just landed in their lap. Five episodes forward. Still no direction apart from some of the stupid characters start recalling their previous lives before being stranded on this piece of Paradise. I getting really annoyed now. So....... did they all commit heanous crimes and are now suffering. What? Don't watch this unless you have an endless supply of pot

The I-Land (2019)

I Stop Watching

[2/10 · 13 September 2019]

It's better than watching the real survivor series. None of those cast get attacked by sharks. But in all honesty. Don't bother. I've submitted another review with spoilers

The Meg (2018)

Watchable

[7/10 · 8 September 2019]

Look it's not fine cinema but that's not what I was expecting.. However, given it's title I was anticipating a lot more action and less bad acting. Where is the Meg? What is it? Why didn't it kill more bad cast members earlier? Oh it's a ridicoulsy big prehistoric shark. This is funny. You have to commit yourself to the very end to get a giggle. I'm not sure if it's worth it but hey? I laughed. Good laugh out loud laughed

The Meg (2018)

Who gave this Meg Mess the green light?

[7/10 · 8 September 2019]

I'm not racist but who is the cast director on this film? Australians doing crappy American accents, Australians doing crappy Australian accents. Jason Strahan being himself. It's one big mess. I haven't even seen the shark yet

Aquaman (2018)

Kids flick

[7 September 2019]

Even if I was seven which I'm not this film would bore me. Full of adult themes and not enough fantasy to entertain children. It's a mish mash of watery beings that come on land but to do nothing else but piss land dwellers off. They get reckless. Hahaha. Then piss off back to the depths of the pacific I can only hope. This is not a kids film. Lucky for me I only endured roughly 30 minutes. Adious

Beautiful Creatures (2013)

What?

[2/10 · 6 September 2019]

While watching this, I'm not out of the woods yet, I want to watch twilight. You know that tween series about vampires and werewolves. Never seen it. But now I'm tempted to if just for better entertainment value only. Thanks Gus Van Sant for nothing but turning me to tween series. Emma Thompson. What were you thinking? Jeremy? You always play a great creep but to be honest it's getting boring. Goodbye

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (2019)

Who doesn't love this?

[4/10 · 30 August 2019]

This brings me back to my childhood when everything was possible and magical. I loved this film when I was ten and still love it now. Thanks Jim

Kidnap (I) (2017)

Halle needs a glass of water

[2/10 · 28 August 2019]

What's so distracting about this film is the director or directors give you the impression that they never offered Halle a glass of water throughout the entire filming.

Slasher (2016–2023)

Quality makes the gore bearable

[9/10 · 20 August 2019]

This is quite good. Admittably I could not help but turn my head and squirm at some of the scenes but it's a solid watch with reasonable acting and script writing. It has kept me. I don't shy away from scary stuff But I locked all my doors while watching this alone in the house. I hope this keeps its momentum. Oh wait...... update. Why not just evacurate the building. It's getting silly. Five residents have been killed by some nutter violently within 24 hours. But none will leave???? Okay the good kid has a piece of residual brain that spattered on the back of his head 🤣👍. This is good. Don't bother with S2 or anything after that. They're not much to look at

American Poltergeist (2015)

What?

[1/10 · 18 August 2019]

I feel for the poor aspiring actors that got this god awful gig. Sack the agencies that showed you this heap of rubbish to read over.