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Reviews
Your Movie Sucks: YMS: Nymphomaniac (2014)
Total Porn with a point
Do not watch this if you have a problem with pornopgraphy. If you do not, then be prepared to be shocked by how graphic it is and still have a story line that is engrossing and and informative.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
Star Wars: Please let if be the last one. (not a new hope, just hopeless)
With the story they had to work with, I would rather have spent 6 hours with Jar Jar Binks then watch this film again. Even if they overdid the CGI on Episodes 1-3, the acting was better, even if the ratings by IMDB were worse.
I always preferred Episode 4, A New Hope, because it stood on its own. Everything else was a sequel or a prequel.
Even Rogue One was superior to this mess.
Now we have a wondering repetitious story line, poor editing, a budget that did not allow any retakes, a few cute puppets, a number of locations that were underused, AND original cast members that looked like they had Alzheimer's, with dull eyes and speech impediments.
A sophomoric attempt at sci-fi.
How much did IMDB get to hand out such a high rating?
Let me help with the story. Yoda is Darth Vader's father or grandfather. Luke is starting to look like Yoda.
Rey is Kylo Ren's twin sister or his daughter sent back in time.
And Darth Vader is their love child.
Interesting how Star Trek keeps getting better and Star Wars just gets worse.
Henry Gamble's Birthday Party (2015)
Better than expected.
This movie tries to balance out multiple viewpoints, but in the end, The Christians come off as judgmental and thin skinned and too many of the characters are stereotypes of people we can not stand.
At first I thought I wondered into a Christian movie, and then other characters start to pop up and by the time the movie is over, everyone has major problems, except Henry who is working it out as he goes along.
But ... I gotta say, a sweet and nuanced performance by the lead actor Cole Doman, anchored the movie and there were excellent performances from Patrick Andrews (manic), Elzabeth Laidlaw(mom) and Pat Healey (dad) who made the most of the material that they had to work with.
The Aviation Cocktail (2012)
Please tell me that the 7.0 rating was worth a watch
Nine minutes and 37 seconds into the movie and I feel like I am watching a really bad play. Expect to hear, don't to this or that and someone will. Period piece? Hardly. Limited Budget? I believe it. The performances are stiff and awkward. The dialog is dull. And how can a long row of shooters, shoot at one man and not kill him? 'I've seen you around town, but I haven't had the pleasure ....' Can you say creepy and uninspired? At 15:31 minutes I have not found a redeemable thing in this movie. Even the children were 'stuck'. It is embarrassing to watch someone smoke cigarettes, who has never smoked. And whats up with Bob? He was the first clue that the movie was a waste of time. Bad ... Bad ....Bad. 34 minutes into the film - nice cars and the music sounds like Lana Del Ray, who I like. One big problem. Everything is too clean. The cars, the clothes. And now Bob, the antagonist is complaining that they shouldn't have done it, but he is the one who did with the most to lose. And ... is the woman's bathroom broken. And why would you leave a young man alone after losing the last person in his family and then be all empathetic with compliments from your wife, because you want to do something about it? And lets not even stop and help a drunk driving friend, even if he is doing your brother's wife, killed the perp and and is a bad actor. too. Lets talk about cheating wives while we are carrying guns. And where did they find the kid with the howdy doody face? 43:52 - '...before the war.' Oh yeah, these are three WWII veterans. Almost forgot. Poor Alice, doomed to a bad role. What a waste of a nice pair of ..... And stop over 'acting like a crazy whore'. Lets pull the borther over for going a little fast and then back some liquor, in uniform, on the job. No wonder no one respects the legal system anymore. 'Its Bob. Its Bob and Alice' Great place for a reveal, at a dance with a psycho kid and a psycho cheater and a psycho ..... I watched the whole thing. And I cannot undo it or get that time back.
Momentum (2015)
Here we go ...
I am already starting to question the acting ability of some of the actors and I am only 10 minutes into the movie.
If you are going to have a budget of 20 million, at least hire a casting agent.
Colin Moss needs to learn how to act. His performance grating.
Olga Kurylenko is easy to watch and her role as a tough thief allows her to be tough and no-nonsense. She will keep me watching it.
Stay tunes for Review Part2.
Waiting for James Purefoy to show up. James and Olga should sizzle, even if he is the bad guy.
2nd part of review after finishing the movie. They wasted a lot of quality actors on a poorly written script. The movie is so empty, that they had to fill it with chatty dialog so we would be on the edge of our seats, waiting for the next round of dialog to break up the violence. Too bad. Even Morgan Freeman and James Purefoy couldn't save this mess.
And they left it hanging, so there can be a sequel. Tell me it isn't so.
The Visit (2015)
More non-suspenseful horror from M. Night
-1 Star
The login to this site was almost as annoying as the movie. I know, like an entitled and spoiled teenager dealing with senior citizens, which this movie tries to start off as, I was a little put out. And then there was the, oh no, not another movie using 'the perspective of a hand-held video camera' plot.
Aside from some weird behavior from the gramps, I spent the whole movie waiting for something interesting or scary to happen. The scary part of the movie, was that I watched the whole thing and then logged in to comment on it. Boo! Too bad they did not use more of Kathryn Hahn, the only bright spot in this truly tedious non-horror, non-humor, non-interesting bore of a movie.
The Darkest Hour (2011)
Bad Science Fiction
This is bad science fiction. The aliens were the only interesting thing about this movie. The rest of the movie is filled with poor plot twists and annoying characters who serve as a reminder of how easy this world would be to conquer. The human females are relegated to the first half of the film, holding hands and convincing each other that 'you can make it', even as the other one is giving up. The story line is weak. The accents are bad. The acting is sophomoric. I cannot remember the last movie where people fell down so many times just to drive the plot. This movie was a total waste of time, even if it was free to watch. I am so glad that half the world was destroyed, but the Russians were able to fix the girl's phone, so she could phone home and get an answer. What are the odds?
The Cat in the Hat (2003)
*contains spoilers*
Visually stunning, just like the book, but ......
Not everyone can make a children's movie that also appeals to adults. They tried. Tried and missed in a big way. 'Finding Nemo' is an example of a movie that entertains children and adults. This movie will drive you out of the theater and out of your lazy boy.
The cat is rude and nasty. The neighbor is rude and nasty. The film is frantic and annoying. The script is terrible. The humor is inappropriate.
This is a worthless little film that helped kill careers. I am angry that I wasted 2 hours of my life on this film.
The Astronaut's Wife (1999)
15 years after the movie came out
I have come to appreciate a good sci-fi that does not hurt your eyes with 2 hours of CGI and high speed rapid fire images at the cost of a decent story.
This is a wonderful role of non-weirdness for Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron has a wonderful presences in every role that she takes on. I cannot wait to see her in Fury Road.
There are also many well acted secondary roles, including Joe Morton and Clea Duvall and Blair Brown.
I love good science fiction and that is what this is. It hearkens back to the science fiction writers that I grew up with, like Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke and Robert A. Heinlein.
With so much to choose from these days online, in the theater, on TV and decades of science fiction in the media, this is a good one to burn a couple of hours with, like a good book, a cup of coffee and a pack of smokes, when I did smoke.
A History of Violence (2005)
A History Of Violent Behavior
Where is the story? Half way through the film, Viggo Mortensen is another person, completely. Where are the Feds after he kills 5 people?Why does this turn into a Cain and Abel story? How long will this family be able to stay in small town U.S.A, before the cops tie the first 5 killings with the the rest of the killings at his brother's house? Why did the movie try to get us to sympathize with a guy who not only did not leave his violent tendencies behind, but appears to have passed them on to his family. Ed Harris and William Hurt are a welcome addition to any film, but the sex and the nudity are filler. The scenes of violence are the only part of the movie that fits, everything else is a mess.