duncan-160 Reviews

For All Mankind (2019– )

Less gassin' and more rocketin' please

[5/10 · 26 October 2023]

Two series in and I'm not sure I'll be taking it further. Around 80% of this show is people navel gazing while discussing social and cultural stuff which have been largely shoehorned, and in some places stuffed messily, in to the narrative. It's all competently done and the space scenes are good but it's just all so overwhelmingly slow and dull.

I don't know about you but if I am watching a series about humans' conquest of space set in an alternate universe I want massive rockets, jet packs (the good ones), lasers, crazy science, proper scary jeopardy, intelligence, thrills and awe and all I got was a soapy, overly-sentimental snorefest of whiny all-American dullards fiddling about, smoking down a Hoover in an airlock, but not really doing much else. If that's your bag then crack on.

Who Killed the KLF? (2021)

Messy, pretentious, unconvincing.

[4/10 · 8 July 2022]

I don't believe a word of the 'put together from previously unheard tapes' claims and am hugely suspicious of the provenance of this film, some of the participants claims, and some of the footage. It feels like an attempt to retrofit legendary status to a band and art movement that never really fortified its message, I suspect by the band themselves...but perhaps that's the point.

Having spent four years at art school in the eighties and danced through the nineties in my twenties I don't recall The KLF as much more than a curious novelty act who also happened to have a couple of decent tunes, and certainly not 'the hottest band on the planet with the music world in their hands' as this film claims. The horns, the wheelchairs the money burning etc always seemed an eye-rolling-inducing cry for attention to me, but like all art, good or bad, that's a bit subjective I suppose. I certainly don't remember them being the legends that this film claims them to be, but perhaps that's the point too.

The world definitely needed the KLF and their kind of pop-situationist nihilism should always have a place in the world but they were definitely of their time and this film is too meta to draw any reassuring, or even insightful, conclusions. Perhaps that's the point too.

So I can't help feeling cheated and slightly insulted by this film. They were good, but they weren't THAT good; after all these years, and in a more self-referential and cynical world, I think it would have been more interesting to get something a little more witty and perceptive from Drummond and Cauty rather than an exercise in trying (and failing IMO) to galvanise the myth, and the 'legend', especially when they seem to be saying ultimately, through a haze of regret (whether real or unreal), that their modus operandi was without purpose or any real meaning. The idea of sowing chaos, for instance, is a lot more interesting when viewed though the prism of today's world, but this is never explored.

A missed opportunity, but maybe that was the whole point. Either way, I hope the re-released back catalogue gives them a bit of a pension; just try not to 'burn it' this time.

Slow Horses (2022– )

Two dimensional

[5/10 · 21 May 2022]

Great set up but utterly deflated by two-dimensional stereotypes (gawd those 'Sons of Albion' terrorists were literally straight out of a bad movie from the 1970s), unrealistic scenarios and dumb plot points. Add that to a lead who is so Action-Hero-Simon-Pegg that it's distracting (sorry mate, I know it's not your fault) and it doesn't come to much. Could do better, and it's a shame. Probably loved by Line of Duty fans I expect.

The Eyes of Orson Welles (2018)

Irritating and testing. Please. Make. It. Stop.

[2/10 · 23 May 2021]

Commendable in the sense that Cousins tries an original take on the documentary structure but it just doesn't work on any level.

Imagining an intimacy with Welles which puts him (Cousins) at the centre of the story rather than the subject feels profoundly, unforgivably pretentious in my view. His relentless, monotone questioning is a huge distraction, making this almost completely unwatchable. I persevered and persevered but had to give up after forty minutes. Welles' story is fascinating without all the unbearable and distracting drawl and he and his story deserves better than this pompous guff.

You have been warned.

The Looming Tower (2018)

A bit creaky but pretty riveting

[7/10 · 20 June 2019]

I can't imagine that most of any of this is true but it's interesting viewing. What IS distracting is some of the locations which are pretty ridiculous. I'm pretty sure that's Canada doubling for both downtown Kenya AND Manchester. As a Brit, it's pretty insulting to see that they didn't even try to recreate the UK effectively. The only 'pub' they go in to in LONDON FFS is a heavily-themed Irish pub (oh please!)...I've been in more convincing pubs in Tokyo. The police cars look Canadian and the Mancunian landlady speaks with a US version of a Yorkshire accent (it's a subtle but important difference if you are going to make the effort....she may as well have been cockney). BUT they did have a Boddington's beer mat in a phone box (why...wtf?) to show that it was 'Manchester'. Whilst these issues might be minor, the integrity of any show which treats its audience with this amount of disrespect and stupidity should probably be questioned.

RocknRolla (2008)

One-trick pony retches up another steaming pile of celluloid dung

[2/10 · 11 September 2008]

Would somebody PLEASE stop Guy Ritchie from writing scripts like a 15 year old public schoolboy living out some ridiculous nefarious fantasies. I cannot believe that anyone can see this film as anything other than what it is - a stream of Guy Ritchie consciousness packaged up with a load of bad language, embarrassing dialogue, two-dimensional characters you couldn't care less about and utterly utterly stupid plot - at least this time he's not trying to make it look like a Bacardi Breezer commercial - and for that I give it one more star!

As if to justify some kind of scriptwriter credentials he makes almost every single major character (of which there are many) take turns to spout half-baked philosophical claptrap as if it would give this UTTER RUBBISH some kind of value: "See that fag packet over there.....it's like life....." WHHAAAT? I cringed through most of this film listening to this nonsense; by the end I was actually feeling sorry for Ritchie for actually believing that he had some kind of talent as a writer. I enjoyed "Lock, Stock..." and "Snatch" but by the end of that film I was saying, 'yes, very clever, but enough now thank you.' After the diabolical "Swept Away" and unwatchable "Revolver" it appears that otherwise perfectly logical people seem desperate to put him back on his pedestal as 'The British Tarentino' (which he isn't, and never will be) - so much so that they are prepared to swallow anything slightly better than those two films - which it is...but only slightly.

To his credit, however, the direction is more assured and less reliant on gimmicks and the one short action scene (when it finally gets going after being irritatingly inter-cut by some (more) talking nonsense) is tremendously enjoyable. The cast is great but the acting is extremely mercurial. And, sorry but what was that gay subplot all about? Is Ritchie trying to engage a new audience or something? When it's conducted with the subtlety of an elephant on a waltzer (was that the Blue Oyster Bar from Police Academy?) I can't imagine too many converts - clumsy, crass, unfunny, pointless, offensive and just plain stupid - just like this film.

As I was watching this film I was thinking, 'If you are going to make me listen to this crud for two hours then at least give me something entertaining to look at'; I actually yearned for the visuals of Ritchie's first two films and this is what made me believe that Ritchie's films are moving backwards - and for a director that's unforgivable. Respect your audience, stop writing and start directing other people's scripts PLEASE!

As Harrison Ford once said to George Lucas on the set of Star Wars, "George, you can write this sh*t but you sure can't say it!".