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Reviews
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
It's two movies
So you can look at Saving Private Ryan as two movies. First, we have the invasion of Europe. I watched this movie the day it came out. Nothing that realistic had ever hit the big screen prior. A movie that showed the true horrors of war was a concept that earlier war movies never came close to portraying.
Next we have the search for private Ryan. This becomes purely Hollywood. To truly understand why the last 3/4 of this movie is really fiction, I believe you would've had to have served in the military. In each of the major scenes in the search for private Ryan, it shows troops willfully being disobedient to orders. That just doesn't happen in the military, especially with elite units such as the Rangers. In the military, you are given an order, you say yes, sir, and you carry out the order. Captain Miller allows the disobedience to occur over and over. In the actual military, he would've been relieved command.
That being said, the second half of the movie is still a good Hollywood version of warfare. If I could rate the invasion separately, I would rate it at 10 and the second half, for reasons mentioned above, I would rate it a seven.
Harriet (2019)
People are rating the real Harriet
Look at all the 10 reviews. People are watching this movie and rating the actual Harriet Tubman, not this movie. It's hard to separate the two, I know, but in reality this is at best an average movie. It's unrealistic and actually does her an injustice by not showing the true horrors of slavery. This movie has almost a Disney feel to it. If people were able to separate the actual Harriet Tubman from the movie version, there would not be as many 10 ratings as there are. If this movie were about a fictional character, who did something other than help escape slaves, the ratings would be around the four.
Beef (2023)
Don't do it Netflix
This was a really good series. I sat down to watch one episode and I wound up on my butt for 5 hours until it was over. I think I would describe it as a dark comedy. I don't like anything but I liked this one. Although almost the entire cast is asian, there is no casting of non-Asians as bad. (I wrongfully assumed this was the direction this series would take.).
Now here's the part that scares me: as Netflix does, when they get a popular series they come back with a season 2, 3, 4, and maybe 5. DON'T DO IT!! There's very few places for a second season to go. If you do you're going to destroy the series.
Daisy Jones & the Six (2023)
People are dumb
There are a lot of stupid people in the world. Everyone knows it. If you need an example, just look at the reviews for this show. There are a lot of 10s. That means that there are a lot of people who believe this is perfection - there's nothing better than this. Yes, a 10 means this couldn't be better. Well if you are a 10 giver, I hope I don't disappoint you by letting you know this series is at best average. The acting is at best fair and in many instances, cheesy. The story is predictable. The music does not quite fit the era. Again - average. But I guess you 10 givers are lucky. You are probably rarely disappointed.
Chris Rock: Selective Outrage (2023)
Not funny
So there's this word. You know the one. It's a horrible offensive word. And if I ever used it I would be labeled an outcast from society. My boss would fire me and no one would think ever employing me in the future. But wait. Chris Rock used it about 50 times in a one hour special. I'm so confused. Is it an offensive word or is it okay to use in a comedic setting? You can't have it both ways.
So if you can put aside the double standards and just judge this show on its "funniness" it wasn't funny at all. All Rock did was use the same voice inflections he used thirty years ago to tell unfunny jokes. But of course the sheep laughed on queue.
The Last of Us (2023)
Oh another zombie series. Yay
The last time a zombie film was relevant was in 1968 with dawn of the dead. How many times can we watch the same thing over and over and still think it's exciting. 9.2 rating? Dear Lord. That means this series is as good as the Sopranos!?!?! Silly monsters coming out of the ground and the sheep rate it a 9.2?!?
I will give you this: I only watched this because of the astronomical ratings. I assumed it was going to be something new and different but it the Walking Dead 2.0. But to my surprise, I did watch all six available episodes which surprised me. That means it isn't the most terrible thing ever created.
Remember: when you rate something a 10 that means it is "perfect." If this is perfect to you, you're lucky because you are easily satisfied.
You (2018)
Struggling through season 4
Seasons one and two were an 8. Season three was a 7. Being generous, season four is a 5. This is another one of those Netflix shows that they stretched out and tried to get an additional season when they should've let it go on a high note. The whole dynamics and pace of the show has changed in this season. Instead of being about a serial killer, the serial killer has become an armchair detective, trying to figure out who is trying to frame him for a murder, and also knows about his past. This season has a bunch of pretty people , all narcissists and almost has a comedic feel to it. If I were you, I'd watch the first three seasons, and leave it at that.
Forrest Gump (1994)
Probably the most overrated film in movie history
I saw this movie the night it came out in the nineties. Having no one else to base my critique on, I told the person I went with it was alright and quite forgettable. Fast forward a few weeks and the world is raving about this unrealistic, predictable movie. It was kinda like a Disney movie - probably geared towards 10 year olds.
And of course once people hear a movie is great, the sheeple can no longer form their own opinions. To this day it still amazes me that the movie is considered a modern masterpiece. Oh well, remove your brain and enjoy Tom Hank's worst acting performance if it makes you happy.
You People (2023)
Woke is getting old.
First, let me tell you what I like about this movie: I guess I would say that Julia's new face is pretty cool. Clearly she recently had a facelift.
Now what I don't like about this film: as other reviewers have said, this movie was trying to be both a comedy and a social commentary. But neither one of them worked. And then we have the usual stereotypes: all Black people are angry about their oppression and aren't afraid to tell the world about it. The Black people are streetsmart and intelligent. But then we have the white people. They are all clueless, racist, and guilt ridden. Every word out of their mouths is racist and of course they don't even know that it is. This is really getting old. Why can't we just have a movie with white people and Black people being normal human beings. But I guess Hollywood needs to preach it's politics to us, so it's probably not going to end soon.
Copenhagen (2014)
Creepy
I still can't believe this movie got made. The main theme of the movie is a 28 year old man is in love with a 14-year-old girl. He feeds her drinks, she sleeps in his hotel room, he kisses her and this is all right with all the people who are giving this rave reviews.
As far as the movie itself, the two main male actors are pretty terrible at their jobs. The girl who in real life is actually 20 does a pretty good job.
The story is rather boring, but you do get to see some pretty good scenery from Copenhagen, Denmark. My " favorite" part of this movie is the fact that it was made in 2014 and only one person has a cell phone. I would pass on this one.
Echo 3 (2022)
If you know anything about the military, don't watch
This is definitely not a movie to watch if you have military experience. Actually, it's not for people who like realistic movies, regardless of your knowledge of the military.
First, as another reviewer stated, the camera work is really annoying. There is a lot of shaking and going from close-up to normal view and back within a couple of seconds.
Now about the show itself. I should state, that I only watch the first episode and realized this wasn't for me. First the main characters. Having served in the military, I could tell you that I have never met a multi millionaire who is serving in a special ops role in the military. The show never states what branch of the service is being portrayed. But I could assure you, there are very few multimillionaires serving in the military and living in $3 million houses. I'm sorry, but I'm one of those people who cannot suspend reality and enjoy your show. Also, the lead actor does not at all look or act like an elite military person. And that salon style haircut wouldn't make it in the military.
And here's the part where I turned it off. The two leads are related to a woman who has been taken hostage in Columbia. Oh, I left out that she is also a CIA operative and her husband didn't know. When they determine that they need to go rescue her, they have a helicopter landing in their backyard and they takeoff for Columbia. I grabbed the remote and turned it off. I'm sorry, but I need some thing realistic to occur in a movie for me to keep watching it. As you can see, I gave it a five, which means it wasn't totally and completely terrible, and most people will enjoy it. I just need reality.
The English (2022)
Were there salons in 1890s Wyoming?
So this is my review after 3 episodes. Maybe I'll update it when I'm done but what I'm writing now won't change.
So a rich, royal, "Lady'" from England comes to 1890s America to avenge the death of her son. She has to travel on her own from New Orleans to the newly created state of Wyoming, carrying tons of luggage and a bag of cash.
Without spoiling, she encounters the brutality of the wild west but manages to survive because of course she's and excellent archer and rifleman.
I know nothing about fashion but of course she travels for months while sporting the best in European fashion which never gets wrinkled or dirty, despite living and sleeping outdoors. Oh, and there must have been salons and and makeup artists along the way because her hair is always styled for oscar night and her makeup always perfect.
Sorry, but when I'm distracted by things like this, the whole show loses its credibility. So far the story itself is at best average.
Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)
No accents?
So I can see why demographic group of white women between 30 and 65 would rate this movie so highly. In reality, it kind of has a lifetime movie vibe.
There is nothing realistic about this movie. Let's start with the casting. The characters are supposed to poor North Carolina fisherman living on or near the swamplands in the 1960s. That character would be tough and "salty". Yet the actors playing these roles look like male models: perfect looks, perfect teeth, not a hair out of place, ab muscles like they spend three hours in the gym everyday, and worst of all, no accents.
The lead actress is supposed to be an illiterate woman who raised herself since childhood with little contact with the outside world. Again, she too has no accent, perfect teeth, hair like she goes to a salon every week, and the vocabulary of a Harvard English professor.
Still, it wasn't complete terrible. If you can overlook these issues or if you have time to kill, give ot a shot.
The Devil's Hour (2022)
No guns?
So help me out people of the UK, do British police actually go out on investigations without guns and have to use a crowbar for self defense? Since I come from a country where everyone has a gun, I find this hard to believe. And do they let civilians interview murderers and walk around crime scenes? And are police cars 50k Audis? As you can see, a lot of what I didn't like about this show has to do with how unrealistic it was.
Next, do any of the people who gave this a ten understand what a 10 actually is? At 10 means perfection as in there's nothing better. This show was boring, the flashback scenes were annoying, and as stated above, it was ridiculous. If you think this is perfection, good for you because you are probably rarely disappointed.
Systemsprenger (2019)
Rate the movie, not the actress
As others have stated, the little girl is one of the most incredible child actors I've ever seen. I'm sure she will go along way in this business especially if she masters English.
But we are not rating just her, we are rating the movie.
The main character is clearly a disturbed, violent, traumatized, mentally ill child. Yet she is constantly out on the streets, left alone in different facilities, and allowed to leave when she feels like. There were just too many unrealistic scenes for me to rate this high.
And now, my biggest fault with this movie: so a grown man decides that he is going to take a nine-year-old girl who he barely knows to his cabin in the woods for three weeks alone and no one has an issue with this. Are things that different in Germany where this would be allowed?
Hostile Territory (2022)
600 characters
First my review. I'm not exactly sure who this movie will appeal to. It is slow, boring, and historically inaccurate. As one review or put it, it is like a Hallmark movie. I got a real laugh out of the fact that they had integrated military units which did not occur in this country until 1948. Also some of the weapons and uniforms were off for the time period.
And now unrelated. I'm not sure if you noticed this but as of last week all IMDb reviews have to be 600 characters. So I guess this will be my last review since I do have a life outside of reviewing movies. If I want to read 600 character reviews, I will start reading the New York Times.
Kleo (2022)
The "Americans" meets "Killing Eve"
First of all, this show should be listed as a comedy drama. I started watching it thinking it would be a serious cold war thriller like the Americans. It's pretty much a ripoff of Killing Eve with a Cold War twist but it isn't a bad show.
I Just Killed My Dad (2022)
Typical Netflix documentary
The subject matter is different but every Netflix documentary is basically the same. There's a lot of slow motion reenactments and just people talking about what happened. It gets boring really quickly.
The Little Death (2014)
Surprised me.
I don't find many comedies actually funny but this one surprised me. It was uniquely funny and dark. Definitely recommended.l for a laugh or two....................
The Leisure Seeker (2017)
I'll never figure it out
I'll never figure out how some shows get a comedy designation. This is no comedy. It's just two great actors doing what they can with an average script.
Licorice Pizza (2021)
So many things wrong
First, in the age of metoo, how do the phony Hollywood liberals put out a movie about a 15 year old and a 25 year old and then nominate it for an oscar?
The movie itself is a mishmash of scenes with no real direction. But as usual, someone told people that they are supposed to like this movie so it gets unreasonably high reviews.
Belfast (2021)
Artsy fartsy
Basically, it's an artsy farty perspective of the troubles in Northeast Ireland in the late 1960s. It has realistic moments and then quickly pivots to an artistic, almost play-like perspective of the violence and struggles. It's not bad, it's actually unique, if you are into that type of movie.
Black Bird (2022)
Jail scenes are not realistic
I like real. Trust me: there's no jail in America where you have so much freedom and space. Besides that, the show is a little above average. Definitely not a 10 like so many people rate this. The leads tend to over do it a bit. The good looking actor is a little too pretty to play a hardened drug dealer.
Trainwreck: Woodstock '99 (2022)
Saw it already
Yet another average documentary on Netflix. But the bad thing about this one is it is basically a repeat of the hbo documentary on the same subject. Netflix, my finger is on the cancellation button.
Stowaway (2021)
Pretty bad
The acting is terrible and the storyline is just as bad. Without giving anything away the whole concept is completely ridiculous.................... ..................