Walls Of Jericho Reviews

Fatwa (2006)

Exploitive mess

[4/10 · 7 February 2008]

I have no doubt the guys who made this film had some semblance of creating a complex character study of the post 9/11 political world, but somebody prodded them that drug use by teen hotties and sado-masochistic sex thrown in for good measure might help things along. Everyone in this film is fairly loathsome, with the Muslim extremist possibly coming off as the most sympathetic of the ensemble until the end. There is nothing special about the performances, mostly by b-movie actors. Lauren Holly as a hard line Republican US Senator maybe the most ridiculous bit of casting since Denise Richards was made a nuclear scientist in "The World Is Not Enough".

TCM Underground (2006– )

Great program

[10/10 · 11 January 2007]

I really wish they'd put this on around midnight or 11PM instead of regulating it to 2 in the morning. It's a great throwback to the old late night movie creature double feature shows, and it's clear Rob Zombie knows what he's talking about and giving great facts about these cult films. The wide variety of films they show from the old poverty row productions to the blacksploitation movie and Russ Meyer films really adds to TCM programming as a whole. I hope they keep the show around, because not only do I enjoy the films, but the wraparound segments giving the information about the film, stars and directors, as well as some of the clips and interviews they show during the previews.

The Avengers (1998)

Pretty poor

[2/10 · 25 October 2006]

Aside from Uma Thurman in a skin tight leather suit, there is no reason to watch this film. Sadly, Miss Thurman didn't learn from the "Batman and Robin" debacle as she continues where her Poison Ivy character left off to ham it up here as Miss Peel. Ralph Finnes goes along for the ride, but most distressing is Sean Connery's embarrassing performance. I heard rumors that Connery was offered the part of Morphius in "The Matrix", but turned it down because he felt it would be another "Avengers". Just as well, but Connery here is cringe-worthy. The plot itself is okay for an action adventure spy fantasy, but merely serves as a background for 90 minutes of cheeky British double-entendres (Or what an American thinks British double-entendres are) between the main players. A waste of time.

Spring Break Shark Attack (2005 TV Movie)

Horrible, even for a shark movie

[6 April 2005]

Wow. This one is really beyond words. "Spring Break Shark Attack" couldn't get any worse if they tried. Most of the first hour is wasted with "O.C." style teen drama, and for a second I thought I had come across a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie about date rape or something. Bryan Brown plays the required money grubber who destroys nature and angers the sea creatures. It was sad to see Kathy Baker as the local shop keeper/environmentalist warning him about what he is doing. Why would such a fine actress sign on for this dreck? It's TV, so the shark attacks are kept pretty unbloodied. The movie might have had a chance if it was cheesy intentionally or they had played it more like a docudrama. Obviously, no one on the writing staff had the imagination or self-control for that.

Girl Fever (2002)

Similar to 100 Girls

[5/10 · 16 December 2003]

Almost flipped past this one because I thought it WAS 100 Girls at first. This is a cute date movie, nothing more. It has almost the same premise as 100 Girls, with a guy hanging around a women's boarding house, getting to see all the different personalities of females while pining for one in particular. I didn't really buy the ending, and I thought they spent too much time on the setup, then resolved the major conflict in 10 minutes. Plus the "secret" surprise isn't really well hidden, it's even more obvious than who was the mystery chick in "100 Girls". Still, it's a cool flick, I say check it out with a lady friend, she'll probably like it.

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

Sorry, but you don't get two free passes

[4/10 · 22 July 2003]

I liked the original Charlie's Angels movie, but this one just pushes it's luck. It's even more ridiculously fast paced and quick cutting than the first, and there seems to be a lot of little things going on that only the director and the cast know but don't let us see. Elaborate setups are made for minor plot points, and in some instances, there are shots that don't seem to have any connection whatsoever to what's going on. Granted, the chicks are hotter than ever, but as far as the movie itself, it's actually kind of annoying. It's short attention span theater to the max.

The Night Stalker (1972 TV Movie)

Best TV movie ever

[8/10 · 30 May 2003]

The Night Stalker is truly the best tv movie of all time. Crackling with tension, Night Stalker works on two levels. First, it is a truly creepy horror film, even today. Second, is the paranoia that runs throughout the movie, with the idea of a reporter being held down by authorities from telling the whole story. And this was before Watergate! Darren McGavin is wonderful as Kolchak, and Barry Atwater is really creepy as Janos Skorzeny, the vampire. A must see for any classic horror fan.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

Ugh....

[1/10 · 22 July 2002]

This came on HBO while I was half asleep and I was too groggy to shut it off. Then my body went into a state of numbness as I watched what was transpiring. This was easily the worst movie of 2001, which says A LOT.

Now if you've ever seen Tom Green's show, it's series of "Candid Camera" type skits where he harrasses people in public by doing gross and disgusting things to get a reaction. It's like a sociology experiment gone wrong. But in "Freddy Got Fingered", Green's annoying antics and stupid babbling in a scripted movie just comes across as idiotic. Well, unless the joke is just to annoy the movie goers.... Some of the scenes are just plain dumb. The "backwards man" bit is just bad, like something out of the old Chevy Chase show used to stall for time. He also takes throwaway lines and develops them into plot devices to annoy us more. There is one funny skit, the restaurant scene, which is the only one that at least has some sort of semblence of a plot in it...... The movie is a bad as they say it is...just trust me.

GoldenEye (1995)

One of the best Bonds

[8/10 · 29 May 2002]

After a six year hiatus, Goldeneye was the perfect return to the screen for 007. With all the women, the chases, the action and the gadgets, Bond proved he could hang with the action oriented films of the 90's.

Pierce Brosnan may be the perfect Bond. He has the coolness of Connery, the smugness of Moore, and even a dash of the harshness of Dalton. He puts it all together to make what Fleming probably had in mind as far as the look of the secret agent.

Goldeneye is smart, high tech, and more slick than most of it's predecessors. It doesn't rely on the camp of the later Moore outings nor the completly cold emotionless Dalton films. It updates itself enough for the Clancy era of spy tech, while still holding on to the old fashioned sleuthing we are used to. Also the femme fatales are wonderful, especially Famke Jansen as Onatopp.

Overall, Goldeneye is high on my list of Bond films, top three behind "Thunderball" and "Diamonds Are Forever"

Vanilla Sky (2001)

Heavy drugs needed for enjoyment or recovery from this film

[3/10 · 23 January 2002]

When I go to a party, there are two types of annoying guests. The intellectual eggheads who drone on endlessly, and the babbling motormouth airheads who must keep their lips flapping or they will apparently die of asphyxiation. "Vanilla Sky" is like the combination of those two guests. It drones on and on endlessly, and if you actually care to figure out what's going on, it will never let you get a thought in edgewise. Tom Cruise smirks a lot for forty minutes, then gets all confused, just like the audience. Cameron Diaz is hot and she can stalk me any day, but unfortunatly she's gone before we have a chance to know more about her. I don't know what the hell Penolope Cruz was trying to say, but they should have provided subtitles. The movie then turns into a pretentious hodgepodge of philosophy and virtual reality that by this point had me shaking my head. Of course, just like every other "deep" movie ever released since "The Sixth Sense", it has to have some quirky explanation as to why things were the way they were. Trust me, you'll be so underwhelmed by the secret suprise ending of "Vanilla Sky", you won't remember to reveal it anyone. Just like at most parties, "Vanilla Sky" has a lot of pretty people to look at, all with nothing to say.

Jaws 2 (1978)

Not bad, but not the original

[31 May 2001]

The original "Jaws" is my favorite movie ever, so you may think I dislike or even hate "Jaws 2". But that is not the case. I realize why "Jaws 2" was made, and that is as an excuse to make money. It is only natural to feed the public a sequel, and feed more bathers to a great white. As a movie, it is good, although not even close to the same league as the original. "Jaws 2" is more of a teen slasher pic than a carefully crafted thriller like the first movie was.

The biggest drawback is the fact that Roy Scheider has to carry the acting workload, without Robert Shaw or Richard Dreyfuss to play off of. Scheider does an admirable job as the stressed out police chief Martin Brody, once again trying to convince the town fathers there is a shark on the loose. But after awhile, a lot of it just boils down to him running around like a madman yelling "Shark!". Murray Hamilton as Mayor Vaughn is sympathetic to Brody this time, but the opposition now comes from Joseph Mascollo as a real estate salesman and Mrs. Brody's boss. The interaction between him and Brody is nowhere close to the byplay between the chief and Mayor Vaughn in the first movie. It's just a plot device to allow people to be attacked. Of course, it's the kids that take the beating, as the shark mauls everything in sight.

As far as the shark, well, Bruce (The name for the shark dubbed by SS himself during the first film) gets pretty much exposed in this one. At one point, he looks like he breaks his upper jaw and nose straining to take a bite out of a kid, making him look like a foam rubber puppet. By the end, he gets too much screen time to be scary anymore. Where as the first "Jaws" had a lot of things that a 25 foot shark would actually do, this one just stretches the bounds to make the shark seem more evil than the original. By the way, at several points in the film they toy with the idea that this shark wants revenge for the death of the first great white. This, of course is a prelude to "Jaws: The Revenge", a movie I DO hate and refuse to consider part of the "Jaws" legacy.

"Jaws 2" is not a bad film, but it can't help but pale in comparison to the first. It made a hundred million, entertained the people, but aside from that it won't stand as a classic.

Heartbreakers (2001)

Cute comedy

[6/10 · 9 April 2001]

First, before I get into the review itself, let's get this out of the way. For all those guys who debated seeing this movie because it looks like a chick film, but you really like Jennifer Love Hewitt.....GO SEE IT! Trust me, she is hot in this film. Not just hot, but smoking hot. I mean hot enough for you to cry in pain at how unfair life is hot. So hot she might as well have wore a nun costume in "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" because she was never as hot as this. There is no excuse for you not to see this, as well as BUY it (Not rent) on DVD or VHS when it comes out. Oh, and if you like Sigourney Weaver, the same goes for you. But I can only speak for Love fans.

As far as the film, I liked it. I thought the comedic chemistry between the characters was on target, and while it wasn't roll on the floor funny, there were some pretty amusing bits. A lot of risque humor of course, and I was surprised this got a PG-13 rating. You might want to keep the kids home for this one. The Gene Hackman character was funny, especially regarding his obsession to smoking. I thought Weaver and Hewitt had good byplay as a mother/daughter who just tolerate one another. The plot is easy to figure out as to where it's going, but it's funny along the way and that's what matters. And Jason Lee was really good as the average guy who has to put up with the coniving ways of the Hewitt character. Overall, a good way to spend a couple hours at the movies.

By the way.......did I say how hot Jennifer Love Hewitt was?.......

Kids (1995)

Not everyone should watch

[5/10 · 3 April 2001]

Some films are just not some people's cup of tea. "Barney's Big Adventure" for example. And then there are some movies that certain people should not watch. "Kids" is one of those films. It's is shocking, unblinking and terribly disturbing. And to be honest, I bet it is still tame compared to some of the things teens are doing today. Still, I think this film is an accurate representation of the "idiot" culture that is thriving in America. These kids have no morals, no innocence, and no conscience. They make stupid decisions, manipulate anyone they can, and lash out when they feel there is no other option. It was the darkest and most creepy film I ever saw until "Happiness" came out.

Two real quick points in response to previous posters. There are kids out there like this, and not just in the big city. I think anywhere that parents have passed the buck, this behavior can happen. Finally, someone wrote they couldn't believe Leo Fitzpatrick as the Romeo getting all the girls. Trust me, I have seen boys more goofy looking than him who seem to attract the prettiest and sweetest young girls. The point of his whole character is his sweet talking charm lures these girls in. It may be the most disturbing thing in the whole film, in fact.......

A Night at the Roxbury (1998)

So very bad

[2/10 · 31 March 2001]

Any Saturday Night Live film should be able to be funny for at least four minutes, which is the average length of an SNL skit. When I found myself struggling to laugh at the 90 second mark, I knew I was doomed.

"Night at the Roxbury" is killed by the fact that these characters are SO unlikeable. When will Lorne Michaels get it that if the characters are shallow and unrelateable to anyone you've ever met, it just won't work. I couldn't care less what these guys were doing, never mind laugh at them. There was nothing funny about this movie. I've seen better written comedy in a high school follies show. And what the hell was Chaz Palmenteri doing in this!? I hope he fired the agent who said this was going to be any good.

And before anyone says I'm being too serious, spare me. I love goofy movies.......THAT ARE FUNNY! I loved "There's Something About Mary", and THIS IS NO "Something about Mary"! It's just another SNL disaster trotted out to make a few bucks on mildly amusing skits that we see for free on Saturday nights. To call it one of the worst movies ever made would only give it more attention than it deserves.......

Can't Hardly Wait (1998)

Flawed, but still good

[6/10 · 30 March 2001]

I like this movie, maybe for reasons I can't explain. There are flashes of brilliance in this film that probably want me to like it, and I guess that's why I do. Nothing cracks me up more than when the two nerdy sci-fi dudes on the rooftop are talking about how one of them isn't going to get to see their internet girlfriend because she's on a photo shoot in Fiji, before he utters the classic line in total matter of fact fashion, "But that's the price you pay for dating Christy Turlington". It's those little things that suck me into giving this thumbs up. Seth Green, as the clueless but likeable (After he drops his guard) white rapper is another reason. Green just has a way of nailing these character so perfectly, projecting all the insecurity of a teenager.

Now on to the flaws, the main one being the Jen Love Hewitt/Ethan Embry romance part, which IS the center of the film. I'm sorry, but it is hard to believe that his character would be so enthralled by her for anything other than physical reasons. We don't even have any evidence that he has ever heard her SAY ANYTHING, yet he can write letters professing love and how he sees beyond her exterior. Give high schoolers a little more credit than that, please. Sure he's a goofy kid, but he has to have SOME brains to go to Dartmouth, right? Meanwhile, she rambles on about how everyone thinks she's shallow, yet says nothing to prove the contrary. I can't believe her character is that emotionally dependant on a sophmoronic high school jock that she "Doesn't even know who I am". I get the feeling that if the Embry/Hewitt characters sat down over a cup of coffee, he would realize how stupid it was to obsess for four years. Do you think she even KNOWS who Kurt Vonnegett is? Hell, I though she didn't know who she was!

Okay, I'm analyzing it too much, but overall the funny moments make up for the flaws.

The Mod Squad (1999)

A tedious exercise

[3/10 · 30 March 2001]

I'm not one of those folks who bemoans everytime a film based on an old TV show comes out. Rather, I usually run out and see it (If I had watched the show) and try to get nostalgic. But if anyone feels like running down films based on old shows, this is exhibit A (So you can actually say something more than just "McHale's Navy"). "Mod Squad" is dreary, tiring, and lethargic. At least the original series was angst riddled long before anyone knew teens could be so glum, making it groundbreaking. This is just tedious. Claire Danes is nice to look at, but does nothing else but mood swing and sneak around spying on the baddies. Giovanni Ribisi's acting extent in this flick is that Droopy the Dog look for an hour and forty five minutes. And Omar Epps looks like he wants to flee the set, but the script's chlostraphobia has trapped him. Sure, the production is nice, with the now seemingly obligitory "rave" nightclub opening action sequence and shootouts galore. Oh, and the kids yell and get mad at each other and their superiors a lot too. It's kind of like deciding to use the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine to go on a family vacation to Hollywood with your teenage kids who you and your spouse know need heavy therapy and prescription drugs. I really wanted to like this movie, and there were promising moments, but the next scene would suck the life out of it. You can knock another Spelling remake, "Charlie's Angels", all you want, but at least that film knew it wanted to have fun with itself. "The Mod Squad" makes you wonder where the inspiration from the original series went.

The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)

Slick, sexy, fun

[24 March 2001]

Some people will like this film because it is slick, and others will hate it for the same reason. I was impressed at how gutsy this film was. It's not often in this day and age when we have a film which focuses on the chemistry between the main players, and weaves the action around it. It doesn't cut right to the chase, and it slowly builds. I liked that. I'm sure others may have walked out in boredom, but I assume they are a younger audience who wanted some shootings or explosions. Brosnan once again shows why he is the king of British coolness, while Russo plays his romantic foil to perfection. Also, big kudos go out to Denis Leary for showing the acting chops we all know he has beneath the angry guy exterior.

Charlie's Angels (2000)

A goofy film...but still great

[7/10 · 23 January 2001]

I have no doubt that "Charlie's Angels" will receive numerous nominations for being the worst film of the year. That just proves how some people don't get it. "Charlie's" doesn't claim to be Oscar material, just a mindless waste of a couple hours. The script was horrible, the acting cheesy, and the action sequences were all ripped out of the "Matrix" playbook. But it was worth every penny to see it. This movie succeeded where another Spelling TV remake, "The Mod Squad" failed. "Mod Squad" took itself so darn seriously, you wondered why anyone wanted to make the film in the first place, or if the original TV show was so down, why do it again. "Angels" paid off on the fun factor, hands down.

The Last Broadcast (1998)

Interesting...but not a knockout

[23 January 2001]

*<SPOILER ALERT THIS REVIEW HAS THEM!>* I think we've all heard by now the comparison between this movie and "Blair Witch". It would be hard for me to believe if anyone from the Blair Witch crew didn't see this picture before making their's. But both films are still different enough to stand on their own. *<SPOILERS>*The Last Broadcast is an engrossing mockumentary, and you might even believe it was "real", if not for the gimmicky finale. Ultimately, it is that gimmicky ending that makes the film look just like a student film project, or something from the cable access show they were mocking. Ironic how the one thing that gave Blair Witch it's uniqueness, is the downfall of this movie.

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

A gem every time I see it.

[8/10 · 21 January 2001]

I just watched this again (probably the fifth time) and each time it gets better. This is truly what great acting will do. If there was ever a "guy" movie that had no shooting, explosions, exotic women, or car chases, then this is it because the tension is thick the whole way through. I think anyone studying to be an actor needs to look at this, and start rehearsing becase watching a movie like this should motivate any thespian. The scene with Alec Baldwin is the kind that will have you pumping your fist at just how tough he is. Pacino is great, with a delivery that is just masterful. Ed Harris as the high pressured guy about to snap, and Alan Arkin as the neurotic type who can't get a word in edgewise put in fine performances. And the desperation portrayed by Jack Lemmon as a the salesman who's seen his better days is the center of the film. Kevin Spacey also shows, in a low key way, where he was heading as an actor. The most amazing thing is that these guys practically say NOTHING. Words come out of their mouths that are strung together so haphazardly that any lesser actor would fail miserably. But these guys find it, go in the zone, and do it. Bravo!

Julien Donkey-Boy (1999)

Wow....this was a mess.

[1/10 · 12 January 2001]

This was like watching a train wreck. Pure and simple. It was as pretentious and tedious as any student film I have ever seen in my life, and without any of the ambition. I only watched this to see Chloe Sevigny, who I find fascinating, but who often gets stuck in such dreary and/or boring material. Well, she looked as if she was held hostage in this one. I saw "Gummo", which was almost as bad, but this takes the cake. Believe me, I laughed in irony when the "artsy-fartsy" line was spoken, and couldn't help but think we had all been sucked into this cinematic practical joke. I was also stunned at how I was still awake. Don't waste your time, unless you really NEED to know how bad movies are made.

28 Days (2000)

Uninspired, TV-movie like melodrama

[3/10 · 12 January 2001]

It's time to face facts. There was only one reason this movie was made, and that was to make Sandra Bullock a "serious" actress. Well, that failed, so this film is a total bust. "28 Days" does nothing that hasn't already been covered in numerous TV movies and afterschool specials starring the likes of Valeri Bertanelli and Nancy McKeon since the mid-80's. The characters are right out of a high school assembly morality play, featuring a broken down athlete, the depressed teenager, the gay guy, and Miss life of the party herself, played by Sandra. there are no real surprises, and the only mild shock of the film is deadened by a trial run through earlier in the movie. Other than that, it's paint by numbers plot time. Steve Buscemi attempts to bring some credibility to the proceedings in the thankless role of the rehab counciller, but gets steamrolled by throwing out the same useless bromides every actor who plays this role has to run through. Maybe this was an attempt to do for rehab clinics what "Pretty Woman" did for prostitution. I'm just shocked Betty Thomas actually directed this. I've always found her work to at least have some spice to it, but not here. Then again, what can you do? America's sweetheart gets drunk and goes to rehab........whoop de doo.....