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Hellraiser (1987)
Creative Splatter Movie
Upon moving into his brother's home, Larry and his wife, Julia, have their lives upended when his brother's spirit is resurrected as a sinewy corpse like creature and Julia's secret love is rekindled. She brings him men to kill which restores his body, piece by piece.
As much a domestic drama as it is a special effects feast, Hellraiser isn't like many other 80's horror films. Clive Barker embraces the sexuality of everything in hopes of making the audience as uncomfortable as humanly possible and he succeeds. It's definitely not one for the whole family. Clare Higgins is gleefully demented as sex-starved Julia and Ashley Laurence is an appealing heroine out to protect her father from harm's way.
Carrie (1976)
A Horror Classic
Carrie is made fun of by her classmates and teachers due to her awkward, shy personality and her terrifyingly repressed religious mother. When she discovers she has has an unusual power to move objects by themselves, her tormentors will soon wish they'd never made fun of her at all.
Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie give brilliant performances as Carrie and her insane mother. Their scenes together are the highlights of an alotgether fantastic film about the dangers of peer pressure, bullying, and simply trying to fit in. Director Brian De Palma is a master at creating suspense out of thin air and his prom sequence is one of the most ingenious pieces of filmmaking you'll ever see.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Terrifying
A van-load of friends hit the road and find trouble in Texas when they stop off at a family plot and are terrorized by local cannibal murderers.
Simplicity is the word of the day with Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The plot and characters are just interesting enough to keep you invested and it doesn't waste time on too much plot of character development. The acting by Marilyn Burns during the last section of the film is nothing short of brilliant as she screams and loses her mind in real time. You'd truly believe she checked herself into a mental health facility once filming was completed.
Phantasm (1979)
Nothing Else Like It
Two brothers and their friend investigate the strange goings on at a local mortuary overseen by a mysterious Tall Man who might be using the corpses for nefarious purposes.
Made for very little money with unknown actors, Phantasm is a triumph of imagination over budget. The script isn't the strongest and it'll probably leave you scratching your head many times but the character dynamics feel real and keep you invested even as the film takes some pretty wild left turns. Angus Scrimm as the Tall Man is a frightening and imposing villain and there are many images in this film that, once seen, are hard to forget.
Halloween II (2009)
Brutal Study of PTSD
Halloween II picks up where the last film left off with Laurie Strode a complete and utter basket case. She lashes out at her friends, her psychiatrist, and anyone else in her way. To make matters worse, Dr. Loomis has just released a new tell-all book about the events of the last film, revealing that Laurie is actually Michael Myers' sister which sends her into an even deeper depression as the anniversary rolls around and Michael returns to carve up a new batch of victims.
Writer/director Rob Zombie deserves a massive amount of credit for doing his own thing here. Whereas his first film felt like a less effective paint by numbers remake of John Carpenter's film with just a few of his own flourishes poking through, his sequel is one of the more interesting installments in the series.
There's a lot in this film that feels forced or out of place like most scenes with Michael Myers visiting with visions of his mother, his younger self, and a random white horse, but the dramatic moments between survivors Laurie, Annie, and Annie's father are heartbreaking and played with an unbearable amount of realism.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Unfairly Despised
In a huge departure from the other entries in the franchise, Halloween III: Season of the Witch focuses on a doctor who teams up with the daughter of one of his murdered patients to figure out who killed her father and why. Their investigation takes them to the small town of Santa Mira where all the residents are a little on the strange side and the whole town appears to be under the spell of Mr. Cochran, the owner of the Silver Shamrock mask factory.
Halloween III couldn't be further away from the first two films in the franchise if it tried. It trades white masks, butcher knives, and babysitters for sci-fi horror and a little social commentary. Thankfully, cinematographer Dean Cundey and composers John Carpenter and Alan Howarth return to keep the film looking and sounding much like the previous two films.
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
Has Some Good Moments
Michael Myers manages to escape the explosion from the end of part 4 after passing on a weird psychic link with his niece. He lives with hermit for a whole year until Halloween where he wakes up from his coma and heads back into town to kill off his niece and anyone else who gets in his way.
While heavy on style, Halloween 5 has one of the oddest scripts in the entire franchise. Young Danielle Harris supports the entire film on her surprisingly sturdy shoulders and delivers a performance the film doesn't even deserve. You're with her every step of the way even as the film takes some very questionable detours and gives us a bunch of annoying teenage characters who we're ready to see killed the minute they arrive on screen.
Halloween (2018)
Anemic Sequel
Michael Myers has been in custody for 40 years since his Halloween night massacre that left teenage babysitter, Laurie Strode, a mental wreck. On the night he's set to be transfered to another asylum, he escapes and returns to Haddonfield, but Laurie's spent the last 40 years planning for this exact thing.
For all this talk about this sequel taking things back to its roots and making the franchise scary again, it sure isn't very frightening. Dialogue and characters usually seem strained and unconvincing, leaving the actors to try to do all the heavy lifting, especially Jamie Lee Curtis who has been saddled with what is perhaps the worst variation on Laurie Strode we've seen to date. She's stone cold and stoic without much variation or that relatable vulnerability we loved so much in the original film and even some of its sequels. On the plus side, Michael Myers is portrayed in a threatening light again and John Carpenter's music score gives the film more atmosphere than it deserves.
Scream (1996)
Still Smart as A Whip
After the brutal murders of two of her classmates, high schooler Sidney starts to think the same psycho who murdered her mother a year prior has returned, but who could this killer be?
Taking a typical slasher whodunnit mystery and injecting it with much needed levity and humor was a brilliant concept by Kevin Williamson who paints his teenage protagonists realistically. Hiring Wes Craven to direct it was another brilliant move as he squeezes as much terror and suspense out of every sequence as he can, especially the opening sequence with Drew Barrymore which is just as effective today as it was in 1996. Neve Campbell makes for an appealing and relatable heroine with great support by Rose McGowan as her loyal best friend and Courtney Cox as the opportunistic tabloid journalist.
Trilogy of Terror II (1996)
Not the Original, But Entertaining Enough
Dan Curtis returns to Trilogy of Terror 20 years after he terrorized Karen Black with that creepy doll, but Black's absence this time is obvious and Lysette Anthony is competent but can't quite fill Black's shoes.
Once again, Curtis gives us three tales of terror - one features an adulterous wife who gets her just desserts after plotting to kill her husband, another has her playing a grieving mother who brings her child back to life via witchcraft with some deadly consequences, and the final story has her as a museum researcher who gets terrorized by the same scary doll from the original film.
None of the stories are as terrifying as the final story of the original film, but they're all well told and entertaining enough for 90 minutes.
Trilogy of Terror (1975)
Spotlight on Karen Black
Karen Black stars in three different tales of mystery and horror. She goes from spooky spinster to blonde femme fatale to terrorized woman within less than 80 minutes and never misses a beat.
Dan Curtis is probably best known for this TV movie that terrorized a generation of children thanks to the traumatizing final segment where Black is menaced by a tiny doll with razor sharp teeth in her apartment. The other two stories that proceed it are mostly entertaining, but lack the punch of the final segment which is the real reason to check out this movie.
Messiah of Evil (1974)
Trippy and Creepy
A woman visits a creepy seaside town after her father disappears and finds the locals to be more than just a little unusual, especially when she discovers that they all have zombie-like tendencies.
Messiah of Evil is the type of unusual, quirky horror that can only be made on a low budget. The script never makes a lot of sense and it asks more questions than it answers, but the mood it manages to conjure with next to nothing is nothing short of astonishing. There are a handful of scenes that you'll have a hard time forgetting about after you've seen them.
Necromancy (1972)
Mostly Lousy Rosemary's Baby Wannabe
After losing her child, a young wife moves with her husband to the creepy town of Lilith where he's secured a job with the mysterious Mr. Cato. Soon, the wife wanders why there are no children around and no one, besides Mr. Cato, is over 30.
Despite a better than average cast of familiar faces including Orson Wells as Mr. Cato, Necromancy is nothing more than an unspirited Rosemary's Baby ripoff where a young woman starts to think an entire community is plotting against her and everyone is a Satan-worshipping witch. If it weren't for the few flashes of nudity, it could easily be confused for an unmemorable TV movie.
Satan's Slave (1976)
Not A Scare in Sight
After her parents are both killed in a car accident before arriving at her mysterious uncle's estate, Catherine is taken in by her uncle and his strange friends who appear to be grooming her for something sinister.
Director Norman J. Warren also made the much more entertaining Terror, so it's clear that he has talent. Unfortunately, the script for Satan's Slave meanders one too many times and never truly convinces. Despite a few moments of gore, the film never excites or frightens and mostly amounts to long scenes of people walking around the estate and talking.
Horror High (1973)
Very Watchable
A loner science nerd gets pushed too far by the cruel students and teachers at his high school and takes a potion he's been working on that turns him into a freakishly strong murderer.
Horror High has tons of low budget spirit and a nice grimy atmosphere that can only come from low budget filmmaking in the 70's. Acting varies, but most of them get the job done and it's somewhat satisfying to see the lead nerd serve people some much needed just desserts.
Malignant (2021)
Unclassifiable
A woman's traumatic past resurfaces after a nasty injury and triggers a series of brutal murders that she might be connected to.
Director James Wan has become a bit of a horror master over the past 20 years since he created the popular Saw franchise. Since then, he's dipped his toes mostly into the more supernatural waters with films like Dead Silence, The Conjuring, and Insidious. With Malignant he creates something almost completely unclassifiable. At times, it's sci-fi, other times candy-colored giallo homage, regular slasher, and haunted house film.
These elements don't always come together in the most seamless of ways, but when they do, it's electrifying and gleefully bizarre in the best ways. Everything seems to be dialed up to an 11 the entire time and, while this won't be appealing to all viewers, many will enjoy the sheer insanity of what Wan has done.
Candyman (2021)
Heavy on Mood, Low on Scares
A young artist becomes fascinated with the local Chicago legend of Candyman - a mysterious hook handed murderer who can be conjured by saying his name 5 times in a mirror. He brings him back and there's a new wave of gory murders.
Director Nia Da Costa knows how to conjure up a compelling mood and a dread-filled atmosphere with the best of them, but the script is messy at times with many plot threads being brought up and discarded or never paid off. The excellent mood also never builds to any effective or memorable scares. As far as remakes, reboots, and sequels go, it's still far from the worst of its kind and easily watchable.
Saint Maud (2019)
Inevitably Tragic
A fanatically religious nurse begins to care for a sick atheist dancer and tries her best to save her soul.
Morfydd Clark is excellent as Maud, a painfully repressed and odd character. She anchors the entire film and keeps it above whatever even when the story dips into the world of the pedestrian and overly familiar. There's never any real doubt as to how a film like this will end, but Clark keeps us interested as her character and the film heads to its predictably somber and depressing conclusion.
Superhost (2021)
Very Entertaining
Two YouTube vacation vloggers stop off at a beautiful, secluded Air B and B cabin hosted by an unusual and creepy young woman who wants to make sure she gets a great review no matter what.
Gracie Gillam shines at the titular Superhost. Her strange tics, infectious laughter, odd moments of pathos, and deranged eyes help create one of the more memorable modern horror villains I can remember. The film itself moves at a nice clip and it's never boring. The two leads do catch the "horror movie disease" that causes them to do stupid things in the name of driving them back into danger, but it's still a satisfying experience all around.
Seance (2021)
Good Ingredients, Bad Execution
A new student at a posh boarding school moves into the room of a student who died under mysterious circumstances and starts to feel like her spirit is haunting her and that her killer might still be out there.
Seance has the atmosphere down pat, but it's filled with an assortment of uninteresting and unrelatable characters who either grate on the nerves or who are so dull they blend into their surroundings. The suspense scenes aren't handled with much care either and they never surprise, shock, or keep the audience on the edge of their seats. There's an attempt and livening up the film during the finale, but it's too little too late by that point.
Don't Go Near the Park (1979)
Baffling
A prehistoric couple are doomed to live forever and age rapidly unless they find virgins to eat. At least that's what I think this movie is about.
Don't Go Near the Park is part sci-fi, part horror, and part exploitation movie and none of the elements ever completely gel into anything that makes a lick of sense. There's certainly enough gory cannibalistic murders to keep the horror fans happy, but the tone is often so light and silly that you can't take anything about the film seriously. Acting is all terrible, but some of the makeup effects are decent and it's certainly never predictable. Worth a watch for an early performance by scream queen Linnea Quigley.
Valentine (2001)
Why the Low Rating?
If you ask me, Valentine has held up better than a lot of the slashers we got from the post-Scream age. While there's some humor here, it's more character driven and less tongue in cheek and meta like many of the other films from that time period and all the lead women have fairly well defined characters.
In middle school, Jeremy Melton was teased and bullied relentlessly by just about everyone until he was sent away after a Valentine's Day dance disaster. Years later, he tracks down all the women who made his life a living hell and kills them one by one in a variety of gruesome ways.
There's a welcome simplicity to Valentine's plot that's refreshing and it feels much more like something from the 80's than the early 2000s. The characters and performances are interesting and they seem to at least be tying to come up with some semi-realistic female characters. The killer's get up - a black coat-clad cupid - is creepy and just unnerving enough to be memorable.
Who Is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? (1978)
Intriguing Murder Mystery Comedy
A witty script and great performances help turn Who Is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? into a very satisfying meal. There are moments when the back and forth dialogue between the characters resembles something out of Neil Simon's wheelhouse and Robert Morley, especially, makes great use of this delicious dialogue.
The plot revolves around a competitive ex-husband and wife (George Segal and Jacqueline Bisset) who become the focus of a murder mystery when someone, as the title suggests, is killing all the great chefs in Europe. Since Bisset is considered one of them, it's only a matter of time before the killer gets to her as well.
It might not sound like the makings of comedy gold, but it hits more than it misses, especially towards the end when tons of European chefs come out of the woodwork, certain that they'll be the next victim due to their own egos.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! (1989)
Lump of Coal
The original Silent Night, Deadly Night was one of the better and more well constructed slasher films of the 80's, but what it spawned has been no less than godawful. While Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 was no prize, it still had a few inspired moments and laugh out loud campy elements to keep one's interest. Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 takes itself as seriously as a heart attack, yet features a telepathic killer with a giant fishbowl on his head for the entire runtime of the movie.
Yes, Ricky from Part 2 wasn't killed at the end of that film, but taken to an asylum where he's been dormant long enough to shapeshift into a completely different actor and wears a strange device to protect his brain from...leaking out? It's never really made clear. He's developed a strange telepathic link with the world's surliest and most unlikable blind girl and he breaks out and goes after her and her family.
Slasher film sequels are known for nutty, ridiculous concepts so Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 isn't unique in this regard. Where it is unique is the sloppy and lethargic execution. Everyone involved in the film seems to have been tranquilized before they arrived on set and, for such a short film, it sure does move at a snail's pace.
Surely, the death scenes should be the film's saving grace, but even those feel like they came from an edited for TV print and have no impact whatsoever.
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
How Can One Even Critique A Movie Like This?
Sometimes, a movie comes along that defies the standards of what makes a good film or a bad film and it becomes hard to review it. Is something like Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 a "good" movie? Absolutely not. The acting is mostly awful, the death scenes are ludicrous, and about half the film is comprised of footage from the original film that's been crudely stitched together with a new wraparound story as an excuse to save money.
So why does this movie still manage to delight?
Eric Freeman plays the brother of the notorious Santa Claus killer in the previous film and he's grown up to have an equally refined taste for holiday homicide. He's being questioned by a psychiatrist (as we see a Reader's Digest version of the original film in case you needed to be caught up.) It turns out that he has one target left - the evil Mother Superior who traumatized both brothers at the orphanage all those years ago.
This isn't a scathing critique on organized religion or anything, so don't get too excited. It's a rather run of the mill slasher flick with some insanely over the top acting by Freeman that makes one think he's not performing to the cameras in front of him, but to an invisible audience on Mars. He makes the film worth seeing.