lazyaceuk Reviews

Censor (2021)

A wasted opportunity

[5/10 · 2 February 2024]

When the final credits rolled I was left with a moment of "Hmm!" There had to have been a reason that I had taken the time to watch this film I determined. My assumption being that. I am a fan of Niamh Algar and the film was referred to as a horror film, one of my preferred genres.

Algar performs well in a mired script and confused direction. There is one point in the film were the producer of one of the films within this film go missing. Art possibly imitating art.

The film centres around British film censors during the 'video nasty' era. Algar and her colleagues review, critique and snip various VHSs so that the viewing public - us - can be saved from ourselves. Views are mixed within the censors as to what is or isn't relevant for snipping of course.

However, no matter how hard they work a real life murder is blamed on the censors ability to their job and these pressures are added to the mysterious circumstances that appear to surround the disappearance of Algar's sister many years before.

A meeting with her parents at a restaurant appears to trigger an element of remorse within Algar which is further triggered by content that she watches in her job.

In a latter scene, the director of one of the slashers shouts at Algar that there needs to be some f****** realism in the film. Awks!! Once again it was reality imitating art.

The conclusion of the film does not prove satisfying but does at least provide a narrative for the previous.80 mins. But, the start point of 'the event' is never sufficiently obvious.

A cinema release that probably could have found a home on a streaming network these days as a one off TVM. There's nothing here that warrants the cinematic canvas.

Overall, average and not one that will live long in the memory.

The Long Riders (1980)

A film for it's time

[7/10 · 7 October 2023]

The Long Riders was a film that I was always aware of growing up but never saw in the cinema & seem to miss as I got older.

Finally watching this last night I am pleased to have made the effort.

It is a typical Walter Hill film of the era - when he was in his prime - & is also a film for people who want stripped back film making. This is brutal storytelling & the violence is appropriately raw to match the story. The climatic scene in Minnesota is superbly staged, choreographed & edited, both in sound & vision.

At the time of release much was made of the four sets of brothers that were cast in the film. That familial link is apparent as the brothers feed off each other, especially the Keachs who play the James Brothers as if they were transported from the film's time period.

The Long Riders is a good film. It's not overplayed at just over 90 mins & the acting across the board, including the suffering wives, girlfriends & ladies of the night, is strong & believable.

Well worth your time.

Synchronic (2019)

Reality is only an illusion

[7/10 · 22 April 2023]

Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead are interesting film makers. They provide a good visual feast and a similarly intriguing narrative within their stories. Synchronic is another example of their work that is worth your time.

Steve (Anthony Mackie) and Dennis (Jamie Dorman) are paramedics in New Orleans. Long time friends whose plans to be doctors were never realised and whose private lives have diverted. Steve still plays the field and Dennis is now married with an 18yr old and 1yr old to care for.

Steve and Dennis appear to serve the less well to do areas of New Orleans - I don't know New Orleans, but this doesn't seem to the high end district. The most recent cases for Steve and Dennis appear to involve strange deaths or incidents which are linked by the fact all of the victims have taken the designer drug Synchronic.

One evening Steve and Dennis are called to a scene at which Dennis's 18yr old daughter, Brianna, had been present but is now officially a missing person. Beside her last reported sighting is an empty Synchronic packet. This event causes Steve to flip and buy the remaining stock of the drug from the various retailers who have the notoriety for stocking the drug.

As Steve is leaving one of the venues, he is accosted by a man who offers to buy the drugs from Steve for 20 times what he has paid. Steve refuses and later that evening Steve finds the man has broken into his home in his determination to get his hands on the drug. The man turns out to be the chemist who created the drug and provides some explanation for the events that Steve has experienced as a paramedic and plants a seed in his mind which leads him towards a path that he hopes will lead to the return of Brianna.

The film feels oddly restricted in its early scenes which I thought was due to budget. But later scenes and the effects that support the central premise of the effects of Synchronic - HERE BE SPOILERS - are well done and open out the film. The acting is very good across the cast with Mackie shifting well between moods as his increasing craving for personal responsibility increases resulting from a choice he had never thought he would likely experience.

The score by Jimmy LaValle cues the moments of tension suitably and the overall sense is of a film that is a mix of sci-fi, horror and personal journey. At one stage I felt that the mix was too heady and that there was an uncomfortable gear change where intended comedy became unintended farce. I was wrong. The scenes of humour are actually appropriate and underline Steve's disbelief of his discovery and the how the jigsaw of experiences that he and Dennis had experienced with the Synchronic were now finally coming together.

Worth the bother. 7/10.

Brightburn (2019)

Dullflicker

[4/10 · 1 April 2022]

Brightburn is a poor film.

I'm not sure what it was about the TV review that attracted me to setting time aside to watch this, but the reviewer clearly over sold this film.

I like trash if it's heartfelt but this film was a by the numbers exercise is laziness with some CGI effects thrown in to show that it had some budget. I spent may happy days hoovering up the B horrors and left field VHS rentals when I was younger - Medusa productions in particular guaranteed an evening of cheese.

Brightburn is a mess.

There is no rationale for why Brandon, the mysterious son of Tori and Kyle suddenly becomes a freak, in strength and mood, in and around his 12th birthday. No rationale other than a red flashing light in the barn. A barn Brandon is often told never to visit.

It appears that Brandon's changes result from him not being of this world. A history that Tori and Kyle kept from the moppet until he had already started to act a bit looney tunes. However, we as the viewer never have it explained to us why this birth date is significant and who, beyond the flashing light - which we find out is an alien ship that brought the baby Brandon to Earth - is triggering him.

Once triggered Brandon becomes creepy, starts to wear a cloak and then a combination of a balaclava and nose sock on his head to scare, and at times kill, those who he dislikes. The sudden appearance of Brandon in this crazy garb makes Clark Kent's transformation from business suit to super suit in a phone box seem very credible.

There are far too many plot holes in this film which are either the result of clumsy editing - which the producers/director would have probably overseen - or just poor writing. An example being Brandon's clear declared intent to 'get rid' of Caitlyn's mother after Brandon decides to harm Caitlyn. OK, the sheriff visits Brandon's home with 'suspicions' but the light of suspicion is flashing brighter here than the one in the barn signalling that Brandon IS the murderer.

Brandon is not the Damian the producers want him to be. But, the film made money and there will apparently be a sequel. It'll be interesting to see where a grown up Brandon will go as he tries to 'Take The World'. Damian's transformation lead to his role being taken on by an actor as crafted as Sam Neill. Brightburn 2 will have a slghtly older Jackson A. Dunn in the lead. That in itself is not a strong starting point. His acting range appeared limited in this film, which may just have been the set up he was put into to.

This is my genre but the film did not satisfy. 4/10 is well below the mark I would give a film of this nature. But, it's fair.

Not recommended.

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (2019)

This doesn't fully click into place

[5/10 · 14 August 2021]

An open admission that I hadn't seen the first Lego Movie before I watched the sequel. But, I have seen many of the Lego franchise films and therefore comfortable with the aim of the concept.

This was an OK watch and provided me with enough chuckles through the 90 mins that weren't credits. The animation remains smart and the voice artists are still as strong, but compared to even the much maligned Ninja Lego Movie this film just didn't click together in the right places.

The story narrative is not immediately revealed but there are enough hints for the audience especially as the story builds. The 'five years later' ident being a clear note time has changed the human owners of our Lego heroes and not always for the good.

Chris Pratt and Will Arnett continue their fine work in this franchise. Arnett's Batman (I'm more Keaton) finding himself in a compromising position which plays out well against the back story that was painted for his standalone film.

However, whilst recognising I am probably not the target demographic for this film, there are far too many moments in the Lego 2 that are reminiscent of lesser films with smaller budgets. The jokes within the script are knowing for an audience that has that knowledge but they are thin reward for the visual psychedelic trips that audience has to experience once Lucy and Emmet head through the 'Stairgate'.

Worth reaching for on a rainy day, but one to avoid if you have at least a handful of other options close at hand.

Whiplash (2014)

Drum roll please

[8/10 · 30 July 2021]

Whiplash sat on my hard drive for a while longer than most. There was no real reason for this. I was aware that J. K. Simmons had claimed his Oscar and that the film was well regarded on release. Sometimes films have to age like a wine and your palette needs to be ready.

The continuity announcer - this was taken from a terrestrial channel - indicated the word bullying and my wife almost exited the room. The one failing of watching a film at home, you do tend to lose your film buddy much easier than if they're 'trapped' in a cinema seat.

This is a good film. I've given an 8. So possibly I should be saying excellent. But I think 8 is sufficient and good likewise.

If you like drum solos and you enjoy jazz you will enjoy the soundtrack. Miles Teller plays Andrew a budding drummer who come s up against J. K Simmons as a sometimes mentor sometimes bully. But the latter is subjective. Simmons, as Fletcher the head of the Shaffer Conservatory of Music, seeks the best, not just from Andrew but from all of those who play in his jazz bands. There are other moments in the film that confirm that Andrew is not Fletcher's only target where perfection is concerned including one moment which forms the foundations for the film's conclusion.

This is a great two hander with solid support from a cast who are probably better known for the TV work and some smart editing from Tom Cross who also picked up an Oscar.

Whiplash has its visceral moments but overall it is a worthwhile experience and one that is likely to hold up well as the years pass.

Captain Fantastic (2016)

A film with heart

[8/10 · 9 December 2019]

I have often been told that a critic's view is the critic's view, make up your own mind. This can be difficult when films are limited on distribution and you rely on the word of one who is paid and has the opportunity to attend these films.

Captain Fantastic was for me one of those films. Thankfully, the reviewer was one I trust and I am grateful for his guiding hand.

For many - including my wife - Viggo Mortensen will always be Aragorn. Therefore watching a film which involves him being a hipster father of six kids, of broad age range, extolling a wilderness lifestyle can be a challenge. The film itself does not start easily. The reason for the family's isolation is not immediately explained nor is Viggo's fixation on readying his kids, through 'training' for a Marine type existence. Their father's home tutoring is also dictated to by their father and although free to think their educational base very much appears to be centred towards the left politically.

All of this changes when there is a family death which once it happened seems to surprise nobody other than Viggo. And once he does come to terms with it finds reasons which at odds with the majority.

The death leads to a road trip as the wilderness family head to the funeral. The kids become exposed to things that had previously been contained in books or completely hidden from their sight; love, capitalism, greed and most amusingly, family, but in a form that seems at odds with their own close knit nature.

As the pot gets mixed and Viggo's grip on the family dynamic begins to loosen previously hidden truths come to the surface and even his own hidden guilt reveals itself as his realisation that what didn't appear broken was actually invisibly cracked in quite a bad way.

If there is a message in the film it is that there are many paths that can be chosen in life, and if that path is shared by all whom you love that path does not always have to be the commonest of paths.

Well worth a watch if you want to experience something not of the norm.

Ghost in the Shell (2017)

Empty shell

[5/10 · 25 November 2019]

As the final credits rolled part of me thought "I'm not the demographic for this film which is why it failed to engage me." Checking the 12A/PG-13 that thought seemed reasonable. Then, checking the film's box office I'm guessing the film makers didn't have a clear demographic for their product.

Visually the film was interesting. However, the story was banal and could have been delivered in 43 minutes if this had been a standard network show episode. The long journey towards the final reveal that explained away the shadow/ghost images that continued to fuel Scarlett Johansson's restless existence exploded like an indoor firework that had been immersed in a bucket of water for a month.

I am a huge sci-fi fan and this is possibly why my mind drifted onto other films that the film makers had obviously chosen to pay homage to as they attempted to create originality. In 1982 Ridley Scott painted a very dystopian vision of the future with internal sets and matte backgrounds and yet the clammy feel of that lower budget world had more realism than the algorithms in play here. Similarly, in Bladerunner, Harrison Ford's character had heart which enabled his audience to empathise with his out of date cop methods.

Johansson's performance is dire. You have no empathy for her, her character or her latterly revealed true character. Even the bad guys are thinly drawn and underwhelming which just leaves you shrugging your shoulders as they are either maimed or shuffle off to be re-booted, if appropriate.

There are two highlights in this film. The first is Pilou Asbaek's hair and the second, and best, is the performance of Takeshi Kitano who utters wise council in amongst the chaos.

As Pilou's character says "...what's the difference, fantasy, reality, dreams, memories. It's all the same, just noise." This reality is...........just noise.

American Mary (2012)

A fun throwback - Minor Spoilers

[7/10 · 23 November 2019]

I came across American Mary in an appropriately graveyard spot on a film channel and I'm pleased that I bothered. This is throwback to the days when I used to trawl the local video shop looking for straight to video horror oddities before the days of the shelves being cleared of 'slasher' films which were deemed the cause of all of society evils.

Katharine Isabelle owns the role of Mary, and I can't even imagine the film without her. The opening scene of the film hints at a quirky darkness which the Soskas present wonderfully on screen.

Doing her best to make her way through medical school, but financially challenged, Mary decides to chance her arm as a stage dancer at Billy Barker's night club. Fortunately for Mary, and for us, her medical needs are required slightly more than her choreography and Billy begins to feed Mary with work and money that in turns captures the attention of her mentors.

Keen to establish herself within the medical fraternity Mary accepts an invitation to a a dinner party from Dr Walsh. Things don't go as planned and for Mary the path of revenge leads to an even darker psychological path which involves her in questionable off the books surgeries for people with questionable tastes in physical re-modelling.

There are moments where the film doesn't hold together well as the Soskas choose visual shock over story depth, but the ending is a visual feast worthy of Mary herself.

Not for the fainthearted, but if you enjoyed the likes of 80s fun like Society or the universe of the Re-Animator/Lovecraft films this will be for you.

Killing Them Softly (2012)

Softly Does It

[7/10 · 21 September 2019]

I'm still not sure how I ended up watching Killing Them Softly, but, I'm glad I did. If you're a fan of film noir, as I am, you should enjoy this film very much.

KTS is not the kind of film you should watch with the family. Unless it's a family of mature tastes that enjoys splatters of blood at the majority of turns.

The plot is basic - 2 down on their lucks raid a poker game run by the Mob and slowly get reeled in - but the way it plays out is almost Shakespearean.

There are lots of familiar faces who have key cameos in this tight film. James Gandolfini, in particular, blows in and out of the film at pace and with energy and his characterisation leaves its mark right through until the final scene. Compare that with the understated, but genuinely sinister, performance of Richard Jenkins. His middle man role is a great foil as Brad Pitt seeks to regain the Mob's reputation.

Those who remember Ray Liotta's laughing face from Goodfellas will be hard pressed to laugh with him in KTS as his reputation and physical state are pummelled in this film before Brad Pitt finally puts him out of misery.

This is a great film with some fantastic cinematography. Camera shots of car doors closing have never seemed so real on screen for me.

This isn't going to be everyone's easy watch, but for those that are prepared to be challenged this film is worth your time.

Criminal (2016)

Never was a film more aptly named

[5/10 · 21 September 2019]

There are many guilty pleasures that can be gained from watching movies throughout your life. Moments that you want to go back to even within a dense calamity either side of those moments. Criminal doesn't provide many of them. There are jaw dropping moments but for all of the wrong reasons, not least why the screenwriters guild didn't have lawsuits pending for the levels of 'been there done that - better' that resulted from this film.

There are moments of incredulity in this film which just confirm that sometimes actors just suck in their chests and pay the mortgage. This cast deserves better than what was presented to them. Saying that I like the tosh that screenwriter Cook served up in The Rock and Double Jeopardy. Here though, whether it was the inability of the Director or the lesser budget (Double Jeopardy was hardly a blockbuster) Criminal is a painful watch.

In his youth Oldman played a number of crazy guys - Romeo is Bleeding,Leon - and clearly Costner used these as his template for this performance. I'm not exactly sure what template or method Oldman centered for his own performance here. The mainly British cast is given the job of playing the CIAs finest, all with the kind of American accents which when reversed annoys me as a Brit.

And then there's Tommy Lee Jones. Poor Tommy. He plays his role as a man who is more concerned with managing his haemorrhoids as his emotions are a mixture of pain, pain and thoughts of getting a new agent.

The set up that Costner has a spare space in his cerebral to take the memories of a dying CIA agent - Ryan Reynolds, cleverly exiting early enough from the mess - is Brain/Off rather than Face/Off. The clumsy chase through London and the British countryside and Costner's softening from hardened crim to almost family man in the space of 48 hrs is, criminal. The pay off between reformed bad guy and truly awful, I mean really awful as in poorly developed, bad guy is like opening a flat bottle of cola, even after you've shaken it for ten minutes.

I gave it 5 stars mainly for the stunts and the decent performance by Gal Gadot. This is my first cinematic experience of her and she handled her role far better than others in this criminal fiasco seemed to care.

Look elsewhere if you really want to be entertained.

Beowulf: Return to the Shieldlands (2016)

Single thanks, no return.

[6/10 · 19 August 2016]

The problem with boxetting is that the thought purpose of the scheduler is lost and shows like this need to stand on their own.

Beowulf was shown on a Sunday at roughly 6pm on the main commercial terrestrial network in the UK a spot normally taken up by game who re-runs or many moons ago 'religious telly'. The time slot may have suited the show, but watching it at random times during the week from a hard drive meant that it just did not connect.

The casting of Beowulf was interesting and to my knowledge this was my first sight of Kieran Bew in the lead. He played the hard/soft approach that Harrison Ford refined in the Indiana films very well but he was never fully believable as the hero of the Shieldlands. Joanne Whalley did her best in a scene chewing role as Rheda the Yarl - head honcho - of the Shieldlands, mixing the cod lines with the various action scenes as well as an actress with her level of experience should. Gregory Fitoussi as Razzak the Warrig prophet enjoyed himself greatly with his bad boy role and lit up each of his scenes with his mischievous delivery. And finally Edward Hogg as Varr, as Rheda's counsel, had a stand out performance passing menacing comment in a manner that mixed Robert De Niro with Julian Clary. Beyond that the acting was no better than day time soap standard for which the directors must play their part in being named and shamed.

The show itself seemed to be hamstrung by its time slot and the modern need to be all things to everybody with unrealistic feminine heroes and a box ticking balance of cast members. Money had clearly been spent on this show as the sets and costumes were of high quality and even the CGI was credible in most cases, especially in the scenes that involved any interaction with the real life characters. The humanization of Elvina's (Laura Donnelly) son was especially well done.

But sadly Beowulf was a punt at the Game of Thrones market which largely failed. The back story of Beowulf and his hidden familial secret, the struggle for power between Rheda and her brother Abrecan (Elliot Cowen), the good vs evil battle between the mudbornes and the red bloods and even the love and lust triangle between Beowulf, Elvina and Slean (Ed Speleers) took too long to develop.

I stayed with this until the final credits on episode 12 but thought of bailing before then. The final battle which straddled the last two episodes was well played but if there had been more of this early on the show may well have kept its audience and got extended.

Clearly the producers were confident of telling more yarns and the final scene with Razzak in the temple of the giants hinted at something worth waiting for, but we will never know. The show has been cancelled.

It is a shame when shows like this get the shunt as it only encourages programme makers to play things safe with more reality or quiz shows. But unfortunately the safe nature of Beowulf is what killed it off. With no edge and a clear target towards the 12 rather than the 15 rating Beowulf will have to rise another day.

Mountain Goats (2014–2015)

Great Scot!!

[7/10 · 1 September 2015]

I missed the Playhouse pilot (Miller's Mountain) partly because the 'comedies' that I did see in that season were awful and therefore I never got as far as this one.

So, coming to Mountain Goats fresh I was surprisingly pleased. I am English, but have always had a liking for Celtic humour (Still Game, Chewin' The Fat, Rab C) so warmed to the characters early on. Although to be fair the relationship between Conor and his mother, in the first episode, was more akin to Last of The Summer Wine humour and somewhat tiresome a times. But, three episodes into the first series I am enjoying Mountain Goats greatly.

It is clear that the production team had the concept clear in their head from the start and the mix of study work and exteriors is well worked to provide a depth to each of the weekly set ups.

The acting is, as you would expect, from a comedy of this sort best described as 'broad'. There will be no calls from the RSC but that has been the problem with far to many comedies of late where the fun as been replaced with introspective study rather than belly laughs.

Mountin Goats follows the theme of 'Mrs Brown's Boys' and Miranda. Just get the laughs, no matter how stupid the set up. And no, I am not claiming that Mountain Goats is in their class, but it delivers a good belly laugh every few minutes therefore it does it's job.

The cast work well as ensemble headed by Jimmy Chisholm as the titular lead from the pilot. But for me it is the deadpan delivery of his lines by David Ireland that works for me. His 'vajazzle' scene was very funny.

I like this and I want more if it. Fingers crossed that the Beeb gets enough 'numbers' to enable BBC Scotland to fund a second series of this show.

7/10

Cuban Fury (2014)

Enjoyable fayre

[6/10 · 3 May 2015]

I heard Nick Frost promoting Cuban Fury on its release and heard the stories about how he had to gather together enough money over a lengthy period to get his project off the ground. When I listen to interviews like that you do tend to lean a bit towards the producers and in this case the star (he wears two hats) for the hard work in getting a non studio non blockbuster to the screen.

But then you often realise why American television produces so much 'made for TV' film fodder, because in America this film would not have made it to cinema release. This merely highlights how low the true British film has fallen since the great days of British comedy, such as Ealing, and even to a degree, the Carry Ons.

Cuban Fury is OK, no more. Nick Frost is OK, no more. There is a reason why actors form teams and that is because they play a foil for each other, and in Cuban Fury Nick Frost has to carry the film which neither he nor the script is capable of. Frost's foil, as such in this film is Chris O'Dowd, but in reality his is the love opposition in Frost's hopes of getting the hand of Rashida Jones. So O'Dowd is working against Frost for the entirety of the film and his over the top lothario is so poorly acted, developed and scripted that his time on screen is time that is more annoying that fun in what is meant to be a comedy.

The story surrounds Frost's infatuation for Jones when she joins his Company as Head of Sales. His infatuation is further enhanced when he realises that she enjoys Salsa, a format that Frost was a champion in before he was bullied out of it in his teenage years. Love has no boundaries however, and Frost is determined to woe this women with his rusty skills and returns to his old mentor, played by Ian McShane, to see whether his now larger and less lithe physique still has the old magic.

As is usual in this kinds of films the 'little man' must battle adversity to win his girl, and in some amusing pre-climax dance scenes that it was Frost does. The fight scene between him and O'Dowd is more akin to West Side Story than Rocky and is very amusing and well edited. But the premise only cast your mind back to another similar British film of recent years, namely Run Fat Boy Run, which did this 'boy tries to win girl' storyline so much better.

The film has a great cast of British characters with McShane definitely becoming a new Oliver Reed for scene stealing. Also worthy are Olivia Colman as Frost's former dance partner sister and Kayvan Novak who steals most of the scenes he appears in.

This film is OK, but could have been so much better.

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009 Video)

Turned off

[3/10 · 4 April 2015]

Having seen the first two in the series I though I'd chance on Wrong Turn 3 when it was shown on a cable station recently. Oh well, you win some you lose some.

I knew that Wrong Turn 3 had been made for video so did not have any great expectations but it was quite clear that the producers had no real link with their predecessors in the franchise. The first Wrong Turns gave as much screen time to the mutants as the main characters and certainly Wrong Turn 2 gave some development as to why and how the mutants came to be, even though this was also a straight to video offering. Also the first two films were story driven with the first being an old fashion 'teens get lost' premise whereas the second was a satire on the reality survivor shows which seem to fill the schedules these days. It was clearly a cheaper affair but the writers clearly had some nouse and added lightness to the script that Wrong Turn 3 misses completely.

It was no surprise to find that, according to IMDb, Connor James Delaney has not had his name attached to any other production since he got a pay cheque for this effort. If he got paid by the expletive he did quite well out of the deal. If he got paid for a coherent story then he is probably still paying backing the producers for breach of contract.

Wrong Turn 3 quite clearly does not have the budget of its predecessors and this probably explains why the majority of the story takes place at night to hide the limited production values. The cast is the regular mix of B-movie unknowns with my interest only piqued by an early US role for Janet Montgomery whose American accent holds up better than the rest of the UK based cast whose accent drift around the world as they deliver mono syllabic lines interspersed with tiresome fight scenes, all the better for the fact that their white t-shirts are splattered with red 'blood' as they have been fighting with a meat grinder.

And the story, for what it is, involves a group of inmates who are being transferred to another penitentiary early to prevent a planned break out. On their way they get knocked off the road by our friendly mutants and the rest is the standard run of the mill 'which one do you think will make it to the end' storyline. The writer and director add to the overall boredom by creating tension between the lead inmate Chavez (Tamer Hassan) and his nemesis Floyd (Gil Kolirin). The end result is that there is no tension. It is the constant third rate banter between these two as others around them die in fairly average fashion that makes this film very boring indeed. It is like watching two old blokes arguing over a wet paper bag.

Declan O'Brien clearly has an agenda to fill in his role as director, and I see as writer of Wrong Turns 4 and 5, but this agenda does not include engaging with the audience.

This is poor fare and if you have to waste 90 minutes of your time there are better ways to do so.

In Fear (I) (2013)

Effective Scare Fest

[7/10 · 25 January 2015]

SOME SPOILERS

I was scanning the TV pages and this film had a great write up so I thought I would give it a chance as I rate the reviewer and although it was a 'smaller' film than I expected, I was not disappointed.

The IMDb fan base scores this as 5.5 at time of writing which I think is far too low.

I have scored this as a 7 because for a long time I found a true chiller that had me on the edge of my seat. Far bigger budgets try to fill the screen with CGI and sudden shocks and fail because of the compromise to sell to the market.

The film is produced by Big Talk whose TV CV is high end but that does not always transfer to the big screen. That this film debuted at Sundance speaks highly of its aspirations and it certainly would have made a good B flick in the days when you used to get two solid films for your money at the cinema. It was not that long ago either.

The story surrounds a young man and a young woman who are heading to an isolated hotel for an engagement. The fact the engagement is celebrating two weeks rather than any thing extensive becomes clearer as the film unravels and the lack of intimate knowledge becomes key to how they react to each other, especially as the hotel is more non existent than isolated.

Travelling by car our two young friends are guided on their path by a faceless person in a land rover. All seems good after the land rover departs and the couple head towards the hotel, but not long into the journey 'sat navs' and maps become pointless and the road signs seem to just direct them in circles.

As darkness descends and it becomes clear that they are being targeted by one if not more unsavoury characters the couple try and escape the tight country lanes but without any joy as the car's fuel tank heads towards empty.

This was the first time I had seen Alice Englert on screen and I found her performance very good adding layers of emotion and complexity in a very easy manner as the film became a roller-coaster of fear towards its conclusion. The young man is played by Iain De Caestecker who many will know as 'Fitz' from 'Agents of Shield' but who first came onto my radar in a BBC production called 'The Fades'. He can often play many of his roles with a wide mouth had a certain intensity that he kept just under the his main performance making a final scene somewhat surprising.

The film has a third player whose role is well beyond spoilers so I will merely mention that Allen Leech, yes he of Downton fame, is suitably nasty and very believable.

I've checked through IMDb and have no real knowledge of the writer/director's (Ian Lovering) previous work, other than an episode of Sherlock, but that really is a Moffat/Gattis affair to be honest. I just hope that Lovering did not base this on reality.

The ending provides a few unexpected twists and overall, as I mentioned I think the IMDb scores are too low.

Worth a watch.

The Dark Mirror (1946)

Rainy Day Wonder

[7/10 · 24 August 2014]

BBC TV has been filling its schedules with a host of B&W fillers in recent weeks. A number of them I have never heard of and would never want to hear of. The Dark Mirror was one of those unknowns, or so I thought. As the story unfolded it dawned on me why I knew where the story was heading before the curtain closed on the ending credits..........I had seen the re-make in the 80s when the commercial network used to hover up the big name TV movies from America.

SPOILERS BEYOND........

Thankfully I have no long term memory of how Jane Seymour played the role as Olivia de Havilland is very good in this 85 minute noir treasure as the mixed up twins one of whom is a murderess. She is aided by some clever effects work for the time and a dapper Lew Ayres who plays the psychologist who must help the police solve a teasing crime of identity as the witnesses suddenly realise that their certainty is less certain when the twins are revealed.

The use of ink spots and polygraphs make this quite a modern themed film and there are one of two moments of impeccably sparky dialogue amongst the cast that lifts this film well above the normal short reelers of its time.

Beyond the main two cast members Thomas Mitchell provides able support as the cynical detective puzzled but determined to close the case. His ramshackle look is the kind of cop that modern day sleuths try and copy, but Mitchell fills those gumshoes with ease.

Finally a mention for Dimitri Tiomkin's score which has the peaks and troughs of emotional strings in all the right places and has been parodied so many times since.

A worthy watch on a rainy day.

7/10

Horsemen (2009)

Horse****

[4/10 · 7 June 2014]

I like Dennis Quaid I really do and I know that actors make films with the best intentions an cannot be held responsible for the final product, but his performance in Horsemen was as mixed up as the film.

As the opening credits unwind during the opening reveal of cult carnage the words 'produced by Michel Bay' did make me shudder but I convinced myself all would be well. The Rock was a good film after all. How wrong I was.

I also read after having watched the film that it had endured extensive re-shoots. I did not need telling but was grateful for the confirmation. The thing is, if this was meant to be a better version that the original, then how bad was the original?

The story about a series of murders being committed in a manner which mirrored the Horsemen from the Book of Revelations is convoluted and patchy. Quaid and his side kick Clifton Collins Jnr. wade through the crimes failing to make any clear headway until one of the victims daughters reveals herself to be one of the Horsemen. The daughter is played by Ziyi Zhang who at no point passes for a teenager even though she does her best to do a sucky thumb performance but seriously a 30 year old playing an 18 year old is a stretch especially for a limited actress like Zhang.

The set pieces for each of the murders are quite well staged but the film is so shabbily edited that there is no fixed reference point within the film for the viewer to empathise with or for.

I read that this film debuted straight to DVD in the UK and US. Says it all really. Use your time better and go wash your hair.

Animal Practice (2012–2013)

Why the lack of love for this show?

[7/10 · 17 March 2013]

The current average score for this show is 5.4 which seems somewhat unfair considering 'How I Met Your Mother' has a 8.5 average score and should have been put to rest a long time ago.

Animal Practice is showing on ITV2 in the UK and has a good time slot of 8pm and deservingly so. It arrived on this channel without much fanfare and I caught sight of it during a channel flick and was lucky to catch the pilot in a re-run slot.

I have not seen anything else of Justin Kirk's work but I like his performance in this. His timing and delivery tread a suitable caustic between the comedy and mild drama elements of the show. I particularly liked the episode where we got to visit his relationship with his mother.

Tyler Labine is a favourite comedy foil from other shows like Reaper and Invasion. His goofball approach is its useful sharp self here and he and Kirk play off each other well.

The lack of any hint of a laugh track also helps the watcher also make their own judgment on what works and what doesn't and I find myself laughing at the intended point with ease.

The final icing on the cake for me is the comedic use of 'Dr' Rizzo. Is this character what got the show cancelled? Is there too much reliance on Rizzo? Maybe, but I can't say that seven episodes in Rizzo grates on me. In fact I enjoy the Rizzo moments greatly.

I see that the show got canned after eight episodes in the US, ITV2 will at least be showing all thirteen and I will be watching until the end.

7/10.

Flight (I) (2012)

Denzel delivers

[7/10 · 30 January 2013]

To me 'Flight' is an intriguing film in that it was not abundantly clear as to its target audience. Overall the film does work partly because of strong performances by the cast and good pacing from the Director (Robert Zemeckis).

Denzel Washington plays Captain Whip Whittaker who it is quite clear from scene one lives life on the edge. Bearing in mind Whittaker is an commercial airline pilot this is probably not exactly something he would like to mention on his CV. And he does not. Whittaker likes drink, drugs and women but this does not appear to affect his ability as a pilot and it is clear that the in flight crew are used to the drill of 'coffee and headache pills' before take off.

However, on one fateful day, after another heavy night with his current 'squeeze' who is also one of the in flight crew, God appears to test Whittaker's mettle. He finds he is saddled with an unknown 1st Officer and conditions are not exactly conducive for taking 106 people into the air in a steel cigar full of fuel. Whittaker spooks his 1st Officer by some unconventional flying to find 'clear sky' and hardly keeps his confidence high by having a mid flight doze. All seems well though until the plane starts its final approach and things go badly wrong with the plane proving that it should never have left the ground in the first place, storm or shine. Even with his foibles Whittaker still proves that he is a top pilot and brings the plane in to land with minimum loss of life.

So that is that.

Well not really. This is the point where the film moves from action to melodrama and the other plot line which had been tracking that of Whittaker and his team aligns. Nicole (Kelly Reilly), an addict, and Whittaker meet on a stairwell of the hospital for a sneaky smoke. Relationships are formed and soon Nicole is living with Whittaker but it is an uneasy relationship as Nicole fights to lose her demons and Whittaker seems happy to continue along a personal path of destruction. Even more so after the crash.

Key to Whittaker's life choice is the impending court case that results from the four fatalities from the fated flight. Was Whittaker incompetent through intoxication or was it truly 'The Hand of God'? A rather queasy visit with Whittaker's 1st Officer in hospital hints at the latter, the National Transportation Board though has other ideas.

Zemeckis gets strong performances from his cast and also shows that he has a sense of humour in the placement of various songs within the film, with Marvin Gaye warbling "What's Going On?" as Nicole decides to unexpectedly seduce Whittaker and "A Little Help From My Friends" as Whittaker is spruced in readiness for the NTSB hearing. John Goodman as Harling Mays the supplier of Whittaker's vices ("I'm on the list !") provides some excellent, almost scene stealing, cameo moments, but this is Denzel's film and he is worthy of star billing for his solid and certain performance.

7/10.

The Chaser (2008)

Eye catching and enthralling

[8/10 · 6 January 2012]

I have a wide selection of Asian films on my shelves, the majority of which are of the horror genre and the majority of those Hollywood then glossed up and failed to convert into a viable end product.

Asian thriller tends to work the other way with the attempt at a Hollywood genre generally looking messy or just stupid.

The Chaser is a true exception.

The opening scene of the film where we witness one of the call girls meeting up with one of her clients appears nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, as this scene unwound I began to think 'here we go again', but Hong-jin Na, in his debut picture, uses that intriguing but mediocre start as a solid base around which the rest of the film unfolds.

The performances in this film are generally. The supporting actors have a few OTT arm wavers reminiscent of certain Stephen Chow films but the main performances, the guys who we see on screen the most, are, in the main, solid. The only exception being the guy who played the character 'Meathead'.

At first you care not for the fact that Joong-ho (Yung-seok Kim) seems to think that his call girls are being sold to other pimps. He's a pimp, we should not love him. And his crusade to find the owner of the magic '4885' number does appear bent more personal wealth than interest for the girls. But then, Mi-jin (Yeonh-hi Seo) goes missing and in his thick eared approach to find Mi-jin, Joong-ho discovers that Mi-jin's disappearance has left her daughter Eun-ji 'home alone'. Out of character, but key to the film, Joong-ho takes Eun-ji into his indifferent care. One scene where the fate of Mi-jin is unsuspectingly laid out in the presence of Eun-ji is particularly upsetting.

As Joong-ho attempts to find his 'property' he aided and abetted by a Korean police force that would be better suited to some kind of farce. Incompetent, lazy, disorganised............these are some of their better adjectives. Joong-ho's fate with the police is not helped by the fact that he is a disgraced copper himself who looks for help within a paranoid organisation more concerned, it would seem, about self interest, than solving crimes and banishing evil.

And there is much evil in this film, from Joong-ho himself as a struggling pimp, to the state prosecutor who seems more intent on being a defence attorney, to the main evil of the film, Jung-woo Ha, played expertly by Young-min Jee.

The story meanders slightly at the start of the last third of the story which knocked a mark of for me, but it was a minor complaint for a film that captured my attention for the full 2hrs.

I'd recommend this film without hesitation.

The Desert Fox: The Story of Rommel (1951)

Hollywood at its worst

[4/10 · 17 September 2011]

With all of the modern re-makes doing the rounds at the moment it is very strange that this story has not been re-worked in any form because the story, as told, is a mess.

James Mason, always stoic in the majority of his roles, plays the role of Rommel well enough but he is let down by Hollywood contract players of the time who make no secret of the nation of birth rather the nation of the their roles. Kansas was obviously a suburb of the Rhine.

Of most amusement to me was Luther Adler who seems confused as to whether he is meant to playing Hitler or Mussolini.

The pacing of the film is also very disjointed. I have no idea as to the whether this is the fault of Nunnally Johnson, the writer, or Henry Hathaway, the director, but as I have seen and enjoyed many of the latters films, I can also assume that the sum of the parts just didn't add up.

There is some good stock/news footage within the film, but unfortunately this cannot make up for a poor effort by most of those who have put there names to this highly unassuming experience.

The Hurt Locker (2008)

Hurt Locker: The Big Bang Theory

[6/10 · 29 November 2010]

I tend to avoid films that are hyped. Hurt Locker was in that in category. The problem is a film needs to be seen in a cinema for it to be truly effective and often the gloss can be lost by watching the 'main event' on your TV at home, even with a cinema system.

So, I thought, maybe this why Hurt Locker is, well, hurting. Because I am watching it on my TV screen, of not insignificant size. The audio will not be as 'full on' as in a cinema, it never is. But other 'great' films that I have watched at home have still broken out from their restrictive confines and done the business in terms of entertainment and making me aware of their greatness or similar.

Hurt Locker is a an average film.

In fact, in my view, Hurt Locker is the cinematic re-make of 'HBO's' 'Generation Kill'. Admittedly Generation Kill had three times as long to tell its story, but the main thing was it had a story. Hurt Locker is a cold plot less experience. A story/film should, generally, have a beginning, a middle and an end, unless it a twee art house piece of fluff.

Hurt Locker's main story centres around SFC William James who inherits the role of bomb master when his predecessor gets killed in action. James arrives, drinks, defuses bombs, drinks, has man fights, drinks, goes home to a life he is disenchanted with and returns to Iraq to defuse more bombs. It's as simple as that. It won the Oscar for Best Screenplay !!! And they say there is no jingoism in 'The Academy'.

I might pick Hurt Locker up again in the future and re-assess. Somehow I don't think it will change my view.

6/10.

Turistas (2006)

Poor, cheap exploitation tat

[3/10 · 17 September 2010]

This is a poor film.

My review could end there because I would still have spent longer thinking about that sentence than the production crew appear to have done with this movie.

Part of the problem is that there is nothing likable about our heroes, or victims depending on your view. Right from the start of the film Alex (Josh Duhamel) is complaining about the whole third world experience and continues to moan and whine right up until he starts pouring booze down his throat.

Things don't get much better though once the partying starts on the beach. Once on the beach the director moves from banal dialogue and soap opera acting to art school camera shots and headache inducing images more relevant to the a Prodigy video than a cinematic experience.

The ubiquitous bikini shots obviously allow some good still shots for the film's PR campaign and will have drawn in the relevant audience and lets be honest, Melissa George is still holding it together well for a woman in her 30s. But this film wants to be more than a Blue Crush. However, John Stockwell, the director, isn't the man to deliver that kind of film. In fact I wonder if the director even met with his writer or editor at any point in the film's production.

As I watched this film I was reminded of another 'survival' film. Namely the recent re-working of 'The Hills Have Eyes'. Ironically Desmond Askew (Finn) was also in that film. In terms of structure and action set pieces 'Hill's wipes the floor with Turistas. Hills kept the viewer on the edge of the seat and is still one of the best latter day horror/slasher films that I have seen. Turistas wants to be these but is let down by poor lighting and camera work during the key action scenes both on land and in water.

All in all not a great experience for me, especially as this had been a film that I had wanted to see for some time.

3/10, purely for the fact that the Brazilian characters were authentically speaking in Portugese rather than acting with fake South American accents.

Atonement (2007)

Effective Quality Drama

[8/10 · 6 January 2010]

Joe Wright has presented a film that would sit comfortably in the Merchant and Ivory stable. It looks great on the screen, the actors accents could cut through fridge cold butter and the class system rules, OK ! I'm not a great fan of Keira Knightley but she is perfect in the role of the simpering Cecilia. Her upper class angst is well played out against the rogueish imp that is the role of Robbie, who is the working class lad made good, played by James McAvoy. His flawed conviction heats up the viewers satisfaction when Robbie and Cecilia are finally reunited only to find that a further ride is required on the emotional roller-coaster as an elderly Briony, Cecilia's younger sister, imparts the lie of the tale in the final pay off. I almost weeped myself. There are few faults with this film although the time switch and mix between reality and imagination in certain scenes is slightly disconcerting. This is especially so in the first scene of this kind where Briony watches Cecilia and Robbie having some very unacceptable behaviour by a fountain, which when replayed proves to be a different view on reality and sets the tone for Robbie's later fate. The mix between reality and dreams is basically the theme of the film. Briony's imaginings of her life with Robbie which leads to her spiteful slight on his character, which in turn leads to his imprisonment and through a chain of events, finally to a sad death in Dunkirk. Likewise the fate that befell Cecilia who, having obviously turned her back on a family who betrayed Robbie, probably would have continued to live a fairly steady existence in the country, finds herself the victim of an air raid. Even Briony doesn't escape. Although the novel, which is the inter film source for the actual film, acts as a final confessional before she leaves the mortal coil. Her death is nigh and also unpleasant in the form of dementia. Recommended for those who are prepared to stick with a film and watch it slowly unwind itself at its own pace. 8/10.