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Reviews
Love, Honour and Obey (2000)
Can't decide what it wants to be
This film has a fantastic cast and some real laugh-out-load comedy moments. Several actors from Operation Goodguys feature in the film and if you've even seen and enjoyed that TV comedy masterpiece you'll enjoy this film as the style of comedy is much the same. The plot revolves around a new member being initiated into a London underworld gang. The new gang member then goes on the warpath creating carnage between two rival gangs. The plot is quite dark and seems quite separate from the comedy scenes and therein lies the problem with this film. You're never quite sure when someone gets hospitalised whether it'll be a slapstick comedy 'Carry On' style moment or a Goodfellas style trip to the morgue. This leaves the tonality of the film in a complete mess which is a real shame because if it had been pitched as a pure farce/comedy, in the Operation Goodguys mould, it would have been a cracking film. Sadly they didn't and, although the comedy scenes are fantastic in their own right, as a whole, the film seems to have an identity crisis leaving the viewer somewhat bemused. The ending also leaves a lot to be desired, it really didn't add anything to the film and, if anything, left a sour taste in the mouth. Some of the, clearly improvised scenes, shouldn't have made the final cut and some of the acting, particularly from Jude Law and Sean Pertwee, was wooden and unconvincing.
Blackball (2003)
One of the worst films I've ever seen!
Run of the mill sports comedy film. You've seen the plot before a thousand times, mega talented but unruly sportsman gets a crack at the big-time and a dull rom-com love interest sub-plot fills the gaps. The film has no build up or background it's just, bang, straight into the story from the first shot which seemed very odd. The main character played by Paul Kay is arrogant and annoying when, as he is the underdog, he really he should be endearing, this distroys the whole point of the film. But my main gripe is that film simply isn't funny, I barely raised a chuckle throughout the entire film. The film is a complete turkey. Even the brilliant Jonny Vegas couldn't save it. Avoid.
Donnie Darko (2001)
Not the usual Hollywood rubbish but not good either
I have read many comments on here about how you have to 'think' about this movie and how it's not for anyone who enjoys their plot spoon-fed ala Hollywood blockbusters. But at the same time very few of these 'in the know' people have actually bothered to explain the heck this movie is all about. Which leads me to believe they're sanctimonious English Lit students who are just as confused as the rest of us! But hey that's ok because this movie has depth and meaning, right? Well if there is it's totally lost on me I'm afraid. I did enjoy the way the film poked fun at the hypocrisy of American Christian Conservative culture, particularly Patrick Swayze as the child molesting motivational speaker. Apart from that aspect I found the film rather morose, confusing and unsatisfying. And it's certainly not because I like brain-dead Hollywood blockbusters, on the contrary I usually like thought provoking independent movies but unfortunately this one didn't engage me at all.
My Little Eye (2002)
No brainer teen-slasher trash trying to be clever & failing
I went to see this movie with some friends who were convinced this was a good movie. I was sceptical from the outset. I'm not going to go over the characters and plot (was there a plot?) as you probably know all that by now.
This is Blair Witch (my most hated movie of all time) meets big brother. The plot is abysmal and you can pretty much work out the whole film in the first ten minutes and there are no twists that you haven't figured out at least a half hour previous. The characters are weak, dialogue is predictable and boring and there's no character development whatsoever.
But my main gripe with this poor excuse for a film is the pace, or lack of it. For the first hour virtually nothing happens! I was SO bored, and I counted at least three people leaving the cinema. Just like Blair Witch this is an hour an half of whinging spoilt little American teens trying to be clever and meaningful, then some people get killed, the end. And that's it really. I'm sorry but a few infa-red webcam shots don't make a good film.
I'm all in favour of independent, thought provoking films and I hate most of the Hollywood trash we're subjected to but this film has no greater merit than all the Hollywood trash I so despise.
Office Space (1999)
One of the funniest films of all time!!
I have to say that I can't think of many films that have been funnier than this one. Sure Mike Judd goes for some cheap laughs but they're laughs that anyone who has worked in an office can immediately recognise. From the socially dysfunctional Milton who is systematically 'eliminated' from the company to the fax machine/copier that just won't work for love nor money this film will have you rolling around on the floor with your sides splitting. I can't believe this film didn't take much at the box office but that says far more about the society this film is mocking than the film itself. In fact I saw this film on British terrestrial television at the criminally late time of 2.30am. Quite what the schedulers were thinking, putting a film of this quality on so late god only knows, perhaps someone had forgotten to attach their cover sheet to their TPS report!! 10 out of 10, highly recommended.
Glitter (2001)
Quite simply the worst film I have ever seen bar none!!
I have to first explain I only saw this film as I happened to be in when my best friends' girlfriend (a devout Carey fan) decided to rent this film out. To say this film is bad doesn't do it justice, this film is a criminal waste of time and money when you think of all the great scripts and creative writers out there who can't get a break. How anyone had the audacity to commission this crock of pap is beyond me. Carey simply can't act, she is truly awful in this film as are most of the rest of the cast. The 'story' is a semi autobiographical account of the leading lady's life, which is always a sign of a weak plot but this just takes the biscuit! After forty-five minutes I started reading the newspaper, after fifty I couldn't care less if the video chewed itself up! My best friends' girlfriend a confirmed Carey fanatic confessed that even she thought this film was utterly dire and I can't repeat what she said about it for fear of inducing and multi-million pound libel case! Anyone who says this film is even vaguely watchable is either a blind Carey fanatic or just plain stupid. 0 out of 10, and believe me if I could give a minus rating I would.
Half Baked (1998)
This movie was so funny my sides were hurting.
Anyone who sees this film and thinks it's not funny has obviously had a personality bypass, either that or they just need to lighten up! This film was not supposed to have a plot really. The plot (that which there is) is just an excuse for some hilarious scenes which will have you rolling around on the floor with laughter. The guy on the sofa, the scene where the Cuban guy quits his fast food job, the eight doller date, the old hippie guy bangin' on about the old days, Sir Smoke-a-lot, it's all proper funny from start to finish. And as for the anti-cannabis evangalists saying this film is a bad influence? Get a grip on reality, like Thurgood says 'Yeah sure Cannabis is a gateway drug...........a gateway to more junk food mostly! Watch this with a few friends and I promise you'll be p***ing yourself with laughter. Up there in my top ten along with Withnail and I, Quadraphenia and Pulp Fulp Fiction.