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Grapple Man
Reviews
Geung see dai si doi (2003)
Crap
This is THE worst movie I have EVER seen! It is SOOOOO bad I felt compelled to write this message: DON'T EVER SEE THIS FILM! IT IS SO DREADFUL YOU FEEL STUPID FOR HAVING WATCHED IT! PLEASE DO NOT SEE THIS FILM
Seriously, the most pointless piece of crap I have ever seen, the story didn't make much sense, the effects were D-grade, they were that bad and the fighting has nothing on a B-grade Hong Kong action flick. Absolutely terrible.
Payback (1998)
Very funny show in the vein of Trigger Happy TV
I managed to see this show late one night and it made me laugh like no other American show has for a long time. I saw the premise of it in the shorts at the start of the show and though, "great another s***ty Candid Camera Funt-fest", but luckily for me it was actually funny. Americans still need to learn the art of showing jokes instead of blatantly telling them, it is something that the English have down to a tee. This show reminds me of the British show "Trigger Happy TV" which is a good thing as it was incredibly funny. Overall a very decent show which deserves an audience.
The Nail Gun Massacre (1985)
This is the *BEST* film ever!
This is how a movie should be made, on a low budget, with no plot or distinguishable characters. This film reeks of class, so much so in fact that this film deserves a Trilogy as it is up there with "The Godfather" trilogy and the "Star Wars" trilogy. Anyone who hasn't seen this film should give life and limb to see it, it is truly amazing! I would go as far as giving it a 9/10. Enjoy this spectacle if you are going to go out and see it!
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Realistic portrayal of war and being dehumanized
Although most of the other reviews will tell you the basic story,i'll skip that and just tell you about why i liked it.R lee emery gives an outstanding preformance as the drill instructor from hell,he's so believable that you can tell he was a drill instructor in real life.The marines lose their identity once they're training and become so desensitized to violence that its scary.Also Vincent d'onofrio's preformance is sad and humourous at the same time he induce's sympathy which is rare in films like these.Full metal jacket's only flaw is the second half of the movie drags on a bit,i was expecting more battlefield action but,all up this is a very enjoyable movie which i highly recommend.
Carnival of Blood (1970)
Predates pulp fiction!out does George a romero! ha ha ha!!
This is utter garbage,i just hope the other reviewer was joking but,i think he was dead serious.This is one of those dime a dozen cheapo horror flicks from the 70's that couldn't even be viewed even just for fun,the acting is nothing the scenes are loose and don't make sense and the decapitated head is so fake you feel sorry for the poor joker who made it.He's probably in an insane asylum contemplating his worthless existance and having nightmares about creating such a blemish in cinema history i hope nobody has the misfortune of watching this "thing".
BASEketball (1998)
Worth watching over and over.....
Baseketball is without a doubt,one of the funniest american comedys i've had the pleasure watching.Trey and matt are the only people i can think of for this movie.All the other spoof comedys mr zucker has directed are totally unfunny and often resort to flatulence or breast jokes,but this little gem keeps you laughing til the credits are well over.Coop and reamer create a game that steals the heart of a nation,but when denslow{ernest borgnine},the coach of the beers dies,a rival coach plots to take over the league and franchise the teams for major commercial sponsorship,coop and reamer have a falling out,and its up to coop to save his game and his team from the evil cain.There are too many funny moments to single out so i'd recommend getting some beer and your mates around for a good old laugh.
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? (1998)
Hmm, yeah.
Now this is what happens when the government tries to make up the quota of local New Zealand shows that is needed. So it could be said that this show is just fill-in material, and it shows. The idea of this show is that Suzanne Paul (an incredibly nasally-voiced annoying brat) comes to simple-minded Kiwi homes and flashes the place up in time for a chef-cooked dinner with a famous celebrity as a dinner guest. The parents get flashed up and so do the kids but that doesn't mean that the show is flash. On a tight budget (that probably goes on Suzanne's makeup) they manage to whip up an amazing feast for the family and the guest.
This show is just family orientated tripe! The only redeeming thing about this show is Anthony Ray Parker as a chaffuer and all round token American. Just think, he went on to star in The Matrix after this stupid, almost intolerable Kiwi show. Americans, stay away! It doesn't reflect well on our country!!
The Scarecrow (1982)
A decent NZ thriller/horror movie
This film, while very 'NZ' could still hold it's own against many American made films of the same genre. The acting is great and whoever the old man, who was the 'Scarecrow' is, you are a legend! The film portrays a young boy growing up amongst his own problems added with the ever increasing number of bodies, rather well. The cinematography is superb and it will leave NZ locals wondering, "where did they film that? That looks like my house!" The slow tension is added to by an eerie soundtrack of slow, moody strings and the film is under great direction from a New Zealand legend, Sam Pillsbury. For anyone outside of New Zealand, I suggest you see this film. It may not have the cliche' Hollywood effects but the overall package is something superb. A great film! 8/10
Trigger Happy TV (2000)
Now this is what Candid Camera SHOULD be like
This show is just too funny for words! If you ever see it advertised where you live, watch it! The only people who won't appreciate the humour in this show are, people with no sense of humour or, dead. This takes Candid Camera and actually makes the idea funny. The reactions to the gags aren't the funny part, the actual gags are the funniest. It centres around one man making a fool of himself and making the audience laugh. That's it! The ideas involved in the gags are just amazing! Considering that practically only one man makes the whole show it's a tribute to skill and entertainment. Watch this show, now!
Havoc and Newsboy's Sell-Out Tour (1999)
More of Havoc and News' different sense of humour
This show is still very funny even though it's a toned down, happy version of the original "Havoc". For people outside of New Zealand this could be viewed as an educational show, showcasing all of New Zealand's natural beauty. The show is about two of NZ's favourite sons, Havoc and News, traveling around New Zealand in their Holden Station-wagon (for the first series then the Nissan Pathfinder for the second series) exploring what makes Kiwi's tick. As always, humour is the name of the game and their tongue-in-cheek approach to everything makes for a humourous adventure. Although the original live format was much better, this series was still enjoyable for all Havoc fans itching for their "hit" of good Kiwi comedy. Also towards the end of the series the guys traveled around the world putting a Kiwi perspective on London and more memorable, L.A. I suggest that any foreigners (to NZ I mean) watch this show to really see what we are about, we aren't all sheep and rugby. I just hope they bring back their live format! Just remember, don't grab too many "Gadsbies"!!
Havoc (1998)
Now THIS is comedy!
This series was, and still is incredible. It combines a refreshing blend of classic Kiwi comedy with Havoc and Newsboy's own, distinctively unique humour. This program was a live, half-hour show in a studio with special guest appearances and also the classic, "News", which Jeremy Wells presented and how he received his name. So many memories arise from this show when I hear certain words, such as "classic" and of course "mince". The pre-recorded segments were what really made the show though. Segments like, "Fun with Meat" and "Sea Monkey Madness" will be remembered, and cherished by all those who watched it. There is only one downfall about this show, that it's finished! But, Mikey and News went on to make other shows, "Havoc and Newsboy's Sellout Tour" was made a year after the final episode but has clearly been toned down for prime-time. Which is incredibly annoying!! Of course though, if anyone has any complaints they can leave them on the TVNZ phone logs. Haahaa Classic!!
Pulp Comedy (1998)
Sometimes great, usually dull stand-up comedy show
This TV show originally started off as a live act and then tried it's hand as a weekly show. While this may have started off as good idea for New Zealander's looking for NZ comedy to relate to, the result was somewhat, lack-luster. There were some stand out performers, Mike King as the host was hilarious and Paul Ego is fantastic, but most of the "let's result to smutty comments for laughs" was just crap! This had potential to be a good NZ show that show-cased the talent of NZ comedians but with 85% of the stand-up acts falling on their face, it frankly just bombed! No wonder it had a "late-night" time slot.
Mobsters (1991)
Pretty boys trying to act wise.
Mobsters has no redeeming qualities.I am a big mob fan and love reading about the history of the five families,so i jumped for joy when i read the blurb on the back of the video.Unfortunately for me,i was sucked in and it cost me 100 minutes of my life.The main problem is none of the cast look credible as gangsters they look like pretty boys.Christian slater as lucky was laughable as were the others,also the story seemed cramped and dragged on.I would recommend the godfather trilogy(maybe skip the third one)casino and goodfellas for authentic gangsters and good storylines but please,avoid this movie like your mother in law.
What Becomes of the Broken Hearted? (1999)
Hollywood bravado and cliches invade new zealand.
Its hard to mention this film without mentioning "once were warriors"but its easy comparing the two."Warriors" was a well structured film which was realisticly portrayed and had a deeper meaning,this however is a big budget chuck norris style revenge film.There was talk of jake redeeming himself but he still preformed like a spoilt bully.Even the gangs were stereotyped morons who hung around a wharehouse and drank beer all day,the final scene where jake rescues his son were laughable and far fetched.Its a shame this was even made as it ruins the credibility of "warriors".Lee tamahori must be hanging his head in shame(especially after "the edge" as well)had he handled directing duties we may have had a better film.
Super Fly (1972)
Funky,frentic and slightly clumsy camera work.
Though he's got nothing on his old man,gordon parks jr holds his own in this snapshot of a coke dealer wanting out of the business in the sleazy seventies.Ron o 'neal is superb as priest,a black dope pusher in the heart of new york.The atmosphere is seedy and the use of locations are excellent,the added benefit of curtis mayfield providing the soundtrack helps this blaxploitation film stand above the rest.My only complaints are the lack of depth the minor characters display, it would be easier to know something about their backgrounds to feel sympathy for them when they get whacked.Complaint no 2,the handling of the cameras look really unprofessional much like an 8-year old filming his sandpit and toys,but dont let that put you off a good crime story like this.
Fight Club (1999)
A great film that everyone should see.
This film is an instant classic. It takes every theme dealt with today and puts a new spin on them. The way it tackles life in an ever-changing technologically-inclined world is a site to be seen. First off, the acting is superb, with Brad Pitt giving the performance of his life and Edward Norton giving a dazzling performance. This is my first review and I am keeping it short, so overall this is one of THE best films of all time, EVER. 10/10