Cyclops-13 Reviews

The Wiz (1978)

My final post.

[26 May 2004]

Normally I do not feel it necessary to reply to things that annoy me, but this is one of the few times I feel it is necessary to reply. I do not know who is responsible for writing information on an individual's biography, but the comments made under the bio for Theresa Merritt really turned my stomach regarding using and recommending your website to my friends and associates.

In this bio for Theresa Merritt, you state and I quote, `Played Aunt Em to Diana Ross's full-grown Dorothy in the misguided film The Wiz in 1979.' I do not understand where you get off stating this movie was misguided, especially considering the fact that if you compare it to the so called classic, The Wizard of Oz, The Wiz, in my opinion, on it's own is a much better movie. First off, the music was a hell of a lot better not to mention the dance numbers and choreography. The dance numbers for the Wiz had style and a level of sophistication about it that the Wizard of Oz did not due to every dance number involving individuals prancing around like fairies telling everyone they were off to see the wizard.

Unlike The Wizard Of Oz, The Wiz has music in it that, when I listen too it, I can listen and really enjoy myself because I can feel that what I am listening too is worth the time and effort. I can listen to the music and visualize what is happening in the scene. I can listen to the soundtrack and feel energized, especially during the Emerald City Sequence, the song titled Brand New Day and Lena Horne's reprise of Believe in Yourself, which is the song that pushed this movie to my number one movie made based off a Broadway play.

Once the Wiz was over, you saw the characters develop a step further because it was shown that they had the abilities they were looking for all along. Not like the Wizard of Oz where once the wizard was discovered to be a fake, he hands out some trinkets and now the Scarecrow has intelligence because he received a diploma, the Tinman a heart because he received a heart shaped watch and the Lion some courage because he receives a badge. College students receive diplomas all the time but that does not make them intelligent, especially if it is given to them just to please them and avoid a butt kicking which is what the wizard was facing. And you can have all the heart shaped watches and badges all you want, but if it is not in you, you don't have it, and I didn't see where they had it or how they explained they gained it.

The Wiz was a film that had everything in it that the Wizard of Oz didn't. A purpose. At the end of the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy wakes up and she is home and now she might have a different perspective on life. In the Wiz, we see that Dorothy definitely has a new perspective on life and the direction she is going to take. And not only does she have that perspective, but we see that her friends too have a new perspective and outlook on life. The characters have changed from what we saw of them earlier in the film. And by watching their progression, it helps ones who might feel that they have no purpose to look inside themselves and find what it is they need to change that, which is what we see in regards to the Wizard who eventually asks Dorothy for help.

As far as I am concerned, The Wizard of Oz was a misguided effort at film making because it was basically made for the time period where musicals were often campy and flaky, and I have low tolerance for movies of this nature because I feel they insult my intelligence. It is not just the Wizard of Oz that does this, but many films made in that era because everything was so romanticized. The Wizard of Oz could have been made a bit more serious and still maintain the musical comedy needed and I know this because other movies made around the same time period were, such as Gone With The Wind and Citizen Kane. Although these movies were dramatic, they were still able to maintain a level of humor and this is seen in musicals made after the Wizard of Oz, such as West Side Story, Fiddler on the Roof and most recently, Chicago.

The only thing I can say was misguided about the Wiz is the fact that Diana Ross was cast to play Dorothy, and I only say this because I can't stand Diana Ross. Regarding your site, I feel that it was misguided for your site to make derogatory comments about a film that was put together very well. And now that I have said what I needed to say about this movie and the comment that I read on your site, I am going to place my final post and bid The Internet Movie Database good bye.

The Matrix (1999)

I liked it but............

[9/10 · 7 September 2000]

 *MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS*

When I popped in the rental store and finally decided to rent this movie, I really didn't know what to expect because I'm like, this is Keanu Reeves we're talking here. But as I was watching the movie, I really began to enjoy it and once the movie ended, I said, "I liked it." But, I did have some problems with the movie.

For one, everything was made to be mysterious. Why did everything have to be a big mystery and the sky blackened, and the thunder and lightning. Fishburne almost spoke in circles the entire movie. Neo would ask what is the matrix, and Morpheus would say something like, "The matrix is what the matrix is not." And I'm like WHAT!?!?!?!?!??! In my opinion, all he had to do was tell Neo, this is what the situation is, and we need your help because you are the one who has the power to change everything. Instead, we the audience are forced to sit through dialogue of double talk and misdirected answers in an attempt to make Neo think. And what is the story with the Oracle? Were are in a computer, how is she able to make predictions about the real world inside a computer?

Where did the humans get the equipment to make the vehicles that they transported themselves in? They seemed awful high tech for people from the mind set of the twentieth century to come up with?

During the shoot out scene, how is it that they were able to move so fast to dodge bullets but when the agents shoot at them, it suddenly seems to be a problem to dodge them. RE: the scene where Neo first dodges the Agents bullets and Trinity remarks on how he moved so fast. She moved pretty fast to dodge all of those bullets and do a flip during the SWAT Team shoot out and at the beginning of the movie where she was able to run along the sides of the walls. And as far as I'm concerned, the bullets in the gun of the SWAT Team members are faster than the one coming from the gun of the Agent. And there are more bullets to dodge because there are more people shooting at you.

And this question, I understand that since your mind is plugged into a computer your liable go brain dead if you are pulled out to quick. I don't really buy it but I'll go with it, but why is it that if you get shot, you die, or if you fall off a building, you die? If we know that this is fake and with our mind we can do some outrageous stuff like move faster than bullets and jump over huge gorges and bend objects at a thought, then why can't we just say, this isn't real. When I'm hit with a bullet or with a car or I hit the ground from a one hundred story drop, I should be able to say this really didn't happen. I'm Superman. Where's my Kryptonite? I hardly felt that punch by the Agent.

And here is my final thought. By the end of the movie Neo has reached his full capacity. So why do we need sequels to the movie. I can understand a second one to show us getting out of the matrix, but why a third one? I don't know, maybe the have this all planned out. Maybe Neo has what it takes but he isn't quite a Jedi yet.

Now here is what I liked about the movie.

The special effects were great and the fight sequences were outstanding. The way they had them fight, I thought the actors really studied martial arts years and were really fighting, except for the obvious scenes when they would jump in the air and do kicks and when Keanu would do the back flips. Those are what really kept me into the film, but that isn't always enough. In the case of this movie though I think this was the exception where the special effects is one of the things that kept me into the movie, although I did like the basic storyline which I think helped keep me in the mood for the movie.

I liked Carrie-Ann Moss' character and her interaction with Neo and I really like Joe Pantoliano in almost anything ever since I saw him in The Fugitive. Larry Fishburne was in great form as usually. I liked the interaction between Neo and Agent Smith and I got a kick out of how slow he spoke although sometimes it was over the top, but I loved it anyway.

In a nutshell, I liked the movie. It had some elements to it that was kind of like, what? But at the same time it had a decent storyline that most people sometimes wonder, what is real and what isn't and you can use your mind to accomplish anything type story. It was kind of like the movie Dark City in the sense that one man will make a difference and stop the unbeatable bad guy(s). I recommend watching this movie on a Saturday night with friends or if you just want something to watch by yourself when you order a pizza. That's what I do.

Armageddon (1998)

Jerry Bruckheimer Rules!

[7 September 2000]

This film is your basic Jerry Bruckheimer movie. It has the action, the humor and the personality that you would expect from his movies. And with the direction of Michael Bay, that makes for an extra bonus.

Bruce Willis is in excellent form as the tough father and I loved the scene where he is chasing his daughter's boyfriend around the oil rig.

Special effects were great and the dialogue is good. I can't say much from the scientific point of view, but from the point of view of sheer fun, this movie rates high. I would say the only negative thing there is to say about the movie is the fact that it is very long. Outside of that, if you like Jerry Bruckheimer, then I recommend you see this movie.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

I think I'm going to kill myself.

[7 September 2000]

Unlike the first movie, I did my homework on this movie and I read the book first. After reading the book, I couldn't wait to see Ian Malcolm return and I couldn't wait to see the other characters in the book come to life on the big screen. Little did I know.

*SPOILIERS* Not that it would matter to me.

The only thing that remotely connects this movie to the book is the fact that it has the same title, Ian Malcolm, Sarah Harding and Eddie Carr and it takes place on a different island with dinosaurs. I was highly upset. Then they put that punk old man back in the movie and I still wanted him to die.

Here is my main problem with the movie. The InGen company has been reorganized with new directors and executive officers. They want to take the dinosaurs off the island and bring them to the new Jurassic Park in San Diego. Now, they created the dinosaurs, so what was the problem if they wanted to take the animals off the island and bring them to America? They belong to the company.

So up pops along Vince Vaughn who is a Major League (you fill in the blank) and he decides to take it upon himself to liberate the dinosaurs. So he ralleys up the troops and he feels like freakin Moses walking around the camp with his chain cutters, breaking the bonds of the dinosaurs who then wreck the camp and kill innocent people. Then, after stumbling on the baby T-Rex, he brings it to the camp to have it's leg fixed. But didn't somebody think that maybe mommy and daddy T-Rex had their own medical plans and didn't like humans messing with their child. So Ma and Pa Rex come through and wreck their base and kills one of their men in the process. All this so little Vince could play liberator. If you really think about it, he the one at fault for everything that happens in the movie. And it makes me so mad during the scene when he takes the bullets out of the man's gun and then the dude can't kill the T-Rex that is trying to kill him and his men. And what makes it worse is the fact that he is regarded as the hero in the movie. That was stupid.

I like Jeff Goldblum, but he stutters his way through this movie as if he is just reading lines. Julianne Moore's character made me upset in the movie because I thought she was stupid shouting orders to people who don't even belong to her group. If I were the Marlboro men in that movie, the second she told me that we have to move now, that would have been the second I'd tie her narrow behind up on the nearest tree, cut open a vein and let her hang with the rest of the meat. Her and her boyfriend Vince. (As you can see I have nothing but hate for her. Just wait until I review the Fugitive.)

My suggestions to Steven is that you focus more on the book and stick with that and keep the Earth First concept out of the movie because that's what hung it for me. Not that I'm against protecting the environment and animals, but what happened in this movie was too much and too ridiculous. And you have no right taking such liberties as you did in changing the storyline.

All and all, I hate this movie. If it was more like the book, I could have handled it, but unfortunately, this is what I am forced to deal with. My suggestion for you the audience is to stay away from this movie and watch the first one. It was so much better.

Jurassic Park (1993)

Read the book. Loved the movie.

[7 September 2000]

I am forced to think back to when my friend called me up and said, you have got to see this movie. I agreed and we went and saw it that day. I'm sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start and I'm thinking about the preview I partially and thinking, yeah, I can go for a comedy. Little did I know. Once the movie went black and the trailers ended, I heard this loud THUMP! The music of the movie had begun and it sent a chill up my spine and I said to myself, I have the feeling this isn't going to be a funny movie. And I was right.

This was a good movie. I wasn't prepared for the technological piece of work I was about to feast upon. I really enjoyed the action scenes and the part at the end where they are trying to escape from the velociraptors was great and intense making me wonder how were they going to get out, although if that was me I would be packing multiple guns and ammunition. I would have looked like Issac Hayes from I'M GONNA GET YOU SUCKA, during the scene where they are getting ready to take down Mister Big and he has all those weapons strapped to his body.

Anyway back to the Jurassic. The movie was so great, that this was the first movie that I saw more than four times, seeing it a total of eight times which back then was a lot for me since I didn't have my own car at the time. The record being beaten in recent times by the movie TOMORROW NEVER DIES (9) and THE X-FILES: FIGHT THE FUTURE (10).

After seeing the movie, I decided to read the book. And I'll say this much, if I had read the book before, I would have been upset about the fact that the old man didn't die because I really hated him, but outside of that, I think I wouldn't have minded to much with the obvious changes except for the fact that I really liked Muldoon and didn't want to see him die.

All in all, this was a good movie and I recommend watching this any day of the week you want to watch something with excitement and dinosaurs.

I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (1988)

That's the Shakespere!!!!!

[7 September 2000]

Where do you begin with this film. It had so much that was hilarious that I don't know where to begin. One of my all time favorite scenes is when they mock the stunt doubles and you have Jack Spade's mother who is about to beat up some thugs. She turns around and then suddenly the camera cuts from a black lady to a white male with a mustache and afro wig wearing the same clothes she is wearing, he does some back flips and then beats up the thugs. Then when the stuntman turns around, it's back to the actress playing Spade's Mother. I loved it.

If you don't see this movie it is a shame. Wayans did a wonderful job mocking the ridiculous exploitation movies of the seventies. The cost of the rental alone is worth watching the scene where the guy gets out of prison, and he has been incarcerated for so long that his clothes are out of style. You'll love the Pimp of the Year contest, Kung Fu Joe, the Big Brim Bar, Soul Train, Hammer, Slammer, Slade and Flyguy. The movie was a blast and you'll roll on the floor in hysteria watching as Ann Marie Johnson reveals her flaws to Jack Spade.

Rent this movie. You'll love it.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

It was okay

[6/10 · 6 September 2000]

The movie was okay although the whole fight scene with Darth Maul made the movie. I was one of the people who saw the movie on the first day, 12:01AM showing. Although I will say this much, unlike some people who stayed in line all day, I stood in line for about fifteen minutes, was told that the movie sold out, then told that there was a drawing being held, lost the drawing, then had my Mother go up to the lady passing out winning tickets and had her ask for two tickets in which the lady said okay. And I am happy this I got in that way because I would have been upset having waited for so long and paid money for that.

Don't get me wrong, but I was not to happy with the movie itself. It seemed rushed and the plot didn't work for me. They spent too much time focusing on Jar Jar Binks and his dopey running and falling down bit, and not enough on the story and the characters. I wanted to know more about Darth Maul, let's get more information about why the blockade was surrounding the planet, lets focus more about Darth Sideous and how he it into the grand scheme(as if most of us don't know, but I still think it would be good to have that in the movie) what about the relationship between the Gungan's (did I spell that right?) and the Naboo, why are they enemies, and if they are not enemies, why are they separated like that. Those are things that could have been focused on, not Jar Jar sticking his tounge out at everyone. What about Anikin, why not focus on his fears, why is he so angry, we need that for the back story for Darth Vader's birth. Give us just a little more information on the corruption in the Senate. What about the head of the Senate, why is he corrupt? These are things that needed to be focused on. Sword fights, battles and special effects don't make the movie. The space battle should have been just a little bit more intense at least focusing in a little on the pilots and seeing a few of them get killed and shoot down some of the enemy fighters and throw out some flight lingo. That's what made the space fights so cool in the previous movie.

We take a look at some of the earlier movies and you got to see the emotional feelings the major characters had. We got to see Luke Skywalker's life, how he wanted more but was being held back. He wanted a life of adventure whereas his uncle wanted him on the farm. We see Han Solo as the selfish smuggler who only worries about two things, himself and money. But you also saw another part in him, the brave side, risking his life by running down the Stormtroopers while Skywalker and the Princess made their escape. We get the impression that Princess Leia is a very strong person who is also a very high ranking person in the rebellion. We learn things about the characters along the way. Solo's debt with Jaba the Hut. Princess Leia cover as diplomat being blown, her home planet being destroyed. We find she is a very determined woman who will not betray her friends even under torture. We really don't learn too much about C-3P0, R2-D2 and Chewbacca untill the next movie and as for Darth Vader, we can see that this is the man. Don't mess with him, he is very powerful. You learn about Obi Wan Kinobi and how he trained Luke's Father and fought with him during the wars and get a glimse of what happened to Luke's Father.

In the next movie, Lando Calressian appears, and even though he isn't in the movie very long, we learn a little about him. We know he is a friend of Han Solo, the Millenium Falcon was his, he is an expert con artist and won control of Cloud City through a gambling debt. We know enough that he has lead an adventurous life and that he is a very brave person. Lando is one of the few characters to ever confront Vader with a verbal assault and one of the few people who double cross Vader when the deal goes sour to rescue his friends. Boba Fett arrives. Not much is given on his character, but the man is good and we can see he is very clever. Admiral Piett enters into the movie and we see him go from a regular command officer to the commanding officer, a promotion that causes him serious emotional problems due to fear of failing Vader.

This was character development. These characters were well developed from the start even though they did not have much screen time. The characters in this movie seem to just appear. We know little of the history of Qui Gon Jin except that he has had problems inside the Jedi Counsil. Obi Wan is just a pupil, Anikin is upset about being a slave, and as for the Queen, we know that she is strong individual who can take charge. But nothing above that. There are other important characters who jump in and that's it. Captain Panaka is just there as the body guard, Ric Ollie is there as a fighter pilot. We have Senator Palpatine who gets control of the Senate about the end of the movie. What about Boss Nass. What about the Queen's body guard. What about Anikin's Mother. There needed to be more development of some of these characters and more storyline around all the cast members and especially more around the real major characters. Let's pull them out a little and make them characters, not people on screen reading lines.

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace was okay, but it needed a lot of work. This will be my least favorite episode so far. I hope things get better because I really want to enjoy this series. By the way, I think I miss spelled some of the names on this review. If I did, I'm sorry.

Wild Wild West (1999)

Wild, Wild Waste.

[1/10 · 6 September 2000]

Now when I went and saw GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS, I thought I was seeing a movie about the audience of Wild, Wild West. This movie was one of the worst of 1999. After all of the great movies that came out in the year 1997 and 98, I thought for sure that 1999 would be great, but I should have known since I really didn't see a lot of good action trailers for 1999 movie season.

The writing was bad and as far as I'm concerned, if you saw Will Smith in ID4 and MIB and in Bad Boys, you've seen Wild Wild West. He's practically playing the same characters in every movie he is in and I'm getting sick of it. That's one of the reasons why I couldn't stand this movie. And I some how knew Salma Hayek would appear nude in the film the first time I saw her on screen and realized that this movie was going no where. Sure enough that happened later in the film and I'm like, GROW UP PEOPLE!!!!!! This exploitation of females in the movies has got to stop! When Smith did his nude scene in the film, it was done in a way that you wouldn't be able to see much if not anything at all. Not that I want to see Smith nude because I don't. And I don't want to see her either because I respect females in the movie and would rather not have to look at them in that form. It's being down right disrespectful.

I didn't like the constant fighting between West and Gordon. I have seen the original series, and I can tell you that when it came down to who was in charge, West was. Did West flaunt it? No. Why? Because who was there to bail West out of trouble? Gordon was. So we have an equilibrium here. I liked the casting of Kline in the movie as Gordon, but all in all, I didn't like the chemistry.

The plot was bad, the jokes were bad, the egos were being tossed all over the place and wanted my money back. When I go to a movie I really enjoy, I feel as though it was done so with money well spent. With this movie, I felt like my money had disappeared and was gone in sixty seconds. But hey, WWW was much better that Battlefield Earth.

Deep Impact (1998)

I don't think so.

[6 September 2000]

I didn't like this film. I felt as though everyone in the movie was going through the motions and that the fact that millions of people were going to die didn't matter. If this were to really happen, the panic on the streets would be unbearable. Crime rate would increase and if people got wind of the fact that caves were being built to protect a small portion of the population, everyone would be massing in on that cave and that small military force wouldn't be able to hold them back.

The only good thing about this movie was Morgan Freeman. The rest of the cast when they were about to die or risk their lives seemed distant from what they were about to do and seemed as though they were happy that they were about to die. If that was me, I would be jumping up and down in my seat like Daffy Duck. I'm brave and I'll risk my life in some occasions, especially since there is usually a way out of most situations, but in this case, I'm not giving up my seat on the helicopter just because some sucker didn't jump town and move to Kansas where the tidal wave wouldn't hit them.

Anyway, this movie in my opinion wasn't that great. I'm sorry if I offend people on that, I really am, but I just couldn't give a movie a good rating I don't think it deserved. Movies like this is why I'm glad I live in Kansas.

Father of the Bride Part II (1995)

Quit Standing On My Shutters!!!!!!

[5 September 2000]

That is one of my favorite lines, followed by "and pack up your things and hit the road! And don't trample the daisies!" Or he says something like that.

Anyway. I went and saw this in theaters and amazingly enough, I really liked it. One of the best Steve Martin films next to Bowfinger and Planes, Trains and Automobiles. I enjoyed the acting, I enjoyed the story and everything else about this movie that made it great. It wasn't a comedy going from one zinger to the next but something well thought out and well written.

If your looking for a lite movie with some fun, I recommend seeing this movie.

Twister (I) (1996)

Make the bad man go away.

[1/10 · 1 September 2000]

This is the only movie where I actually became physically sick listening to the dialogue of this stupid film. Some of these people with the exception of Alan Ruck, must have graduated from the Dolph Lundgrend School of Acting. The plot had so many holes in it that I could have drank wine while watching the movie because I really enjoy cheese with my wine.

Since I live in Kansas, I have a pretty good familiarity with tornadoes, and you can't tell me that you can stand as close as they were to the tornado, especially an F5, and not get blown away and seriously injured. The closest you could ever get to an F5 and survive is the F5 button on your computer keyboard. I thought I was going to die watching this piece of.........

If you want to watch a movie with a tornado or something similar to it, I suggest watching the Wizard of Oz. At least Dorothy got knocked around a little in that movie.

Mars Attacks! (1996)

WOW!

[1 September 2000]

This is by far one of the strangest movies I have ever seen. And I loved it!!!!! This is definitely a movie that you do not take seriously. How can you take it seriously? It's a time Burton film. The acting is strange, the action is ridiculous and the plot is straight out of one of those old Flash Gordon Serials.

If you want some fun, I suggest renting this movie. It was an absolute blast.

Independence Day (1996)

I just don't know.

[1 September 2000]

If any of you have read my review on Battlefield Earth, you'll understand why I can get behind this film. At least this movie had some action that was pretty good.

But at the same time, I felt the way some of you did. I especially agree with the review by Roddy-15, which is a few reviews down from mine, this movie was nothing more than stereotypical characters and the patriot, gung-ho, America the beautiful stuff that really makes me sick. How come just the Americans can come up with the ideals? Why not the Russians, the Chinese, the Africans? Why the Americans?

Why do all the black characters always have to be the ones who have all the slick one liners? I get so sick of that. I think Bill Pullman was to young to play the president, I think some one older should have played the part. Michael Keaton maybe, or Kurt Russell. Maybe even Morgan Freeman. But he might be a little to old to jump into a fighter jet. I don't know.

I did like the acting by most of the actors although Judd Hirsh did get on my nerves playing the old man with little bits of wisdom to spread here and there. Of course I'm not a real big Hirsh fan. Come to think about it, I didn't like any of the cast members from Taxi except Danny DeVito and Christopher Lloyd. But back to the ID4. It was an interesting movie I'll say that much.

Despite the impossibility of the plot, character development and overall feel of the movie (I just don't think things would be that calm if aliens really did land) I still give it a decent rating, 5 out of 10. But you have to remember that I have recently watched this movie after seeing Battlefield Earth, the most awful movie made in 2000, so my view on ID4 may be a little warped. But like I said in the summary, I just don't know.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Robert Patrick Ruled The Film

[7/10 · 1 September 2000]

I only saw this movie so many times because I loved watching Robert Patrick play the T-1000 Terminator. I enjoyed watching him play the relentless hunter. He played it so real I thought that he really seemed like he was a heartless liquid metal robot that could kill indiscriminatly.

Everything else was okay. Special Effects were great. And I can still see Arnold as that robot. Everytime I see him in a film I keep waiting to hear him say "I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle." or something to that effect.

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Forget Thumbs, I Give This Movie The Finger

[1/10 · 31 August 2000]

***CONTAINS SPOILERS***

When I sit in a theater totally silent looking at the exit sign, wondering to myself if I'm missing anything on public television and looking at my watch every five minutes, that is the sign of a bad movie. This movie makes Flash Gordon (Sam Jones version) look like THE TEN COMMANDMENTS and The Last Star Fighter look like a Shakespearian epic.

I find myself asking what were they thinking? Couldn't you see this bomb a mile away? I went to see this movie not having heard any of the bad review but good ones and the one that stands out in my mind is the review that said John Travolta is the new face of evil. I said okay, I'll give it a shot and went out to see the movie. After seeing it, I was like WAIT A SECOND!!!!!!!! Now let's go back to the year 1977. People are standing in line around the block to see Star Wars: A New Hope. Now the movie has started, you see two of the biggest ships you have ever seen, the good guys are running down the hall to fight the bad guys who suddenly storm in shooting. The good guys are defeated and then out of the smoke comes this big, huge, gigantic man. He is dressed all in black leather, wearing a mask that would make ancient Chinese warriors wet themselves and he has a huge cape on. He steps in with authority and his men quickly come to attention at his presence. He says nothing as he surveys the damage and then moves on. From this point, you know this is the man who is in charge and this is a man that you do not want to mess with. That is the face of evil. Travolta looked like Lt. Commander Worf's, the Predator, Mili Vanili, and Jean Simmons (of KISS) love child from a wacked out orgy.

One of my favorite scenes is when Johnny Goodboy's girlfriend decides to leave camp to help ol johnny and then she is captured and nearly put's johnny's life in danger just because Travolta finds a picture of her that Johnny drew while he was imprisoned. As far as I could tell, the picture was done so poorly, I mean elementary school poorly, that if I found the picture, it would look like everyone else who was in that prison. Male or female. And if I hear the word leverage one more time, I'm going to die. Why was Travolta's obsession with leverage. What he needs is a nice Psycholos woman to help him get over his urges of leverage.

Let's not forget about Fred Flintstone flying around in a Harrier Jet with Barney Rubble as his wing man. And what's the deal with the dome? First of all we destroy the dome but has someone forgotten the fact that our brave men and women are still in the dome fighting when it comes crashing down. And Travolta must have been the only excellent shot in the entire military because they couldn't aim straight to save their lives. The only good part in the movie is the end and the scene where Forest Whitaker finally gets `leverage' over Travolta. I wonder who put the leverage on both of them to do such a stupid movie. And John, Mr. Tarantino isn't always going to be around to do another Pulp Fiction for you so I suggest you get some leverage on your agent or get medieval on his behind and get you a better script, otherwise I see a Welcome Back Kotter reunion show in the makings.

The rest of the movie is nothing but Travolta talking about `leverage', laughing hysterically at every stupid joke that you saw coming a mile away and then him giving Johnny Goodboy all the information he needs to win the war. `Say Johnny, would you like to learn nuclear physics? Let's take a trip to the library. Wanna learn how to fly our highly technological jets? What was up with that? Now I have to admit to using manipulation a time or too, but the last thing I would do is show the person I'm manipulating what I'm doing or how to stop me. And Johnny Goodboy(almost as bad as Johnny Rico from Starship Troopers) had some chances to kill Travolta during the movie but didn't take them. Alexander the Great he is not. And he definitely isn't William Wallace. Those Braveheart speeches did nothing but annoy the living daylights out of me. `Now we will all eat together.' If you saw what they were eating, you'd just assume eat the rat Travolta kept offering you. Either that or form a new version of Slim Fast.

And one more thing, Travolta must have been the baddest man in the Psycholos' military because if they took our planet in less than twenty minutes, why were the Psycholos such bad shots at the end of the movie when the final battle finally occurred. Maybe Travolta took over the planet himself and then brought down everyone else. And speaking of final battle, where was the Psycholos' military during that battle. If memory serves me correctly, I only saw about four to five guards fighting at a time. I thought this was battlefield earth? Where was the battle? Return of the Jedi. That was a battle. Battlefield Earth should have been aptly titled Pillowfight Earth.

Anyway, before spending any of your hard earned money on this total flop, I would recommend renting something like Police Academy: Mission to Moscow or The Giant Spider Invasion, or Troll 2. And if they aren't available, then I recommend doing something more useful with your time, such as watching moss grow or watching the birth of a newborn child by cesarean or maybe skinny dipping in zero degree weather. Because you will regret having spent American money on this film. As I said in the summary, few of you gave the film thumbs up, MOST of you gave it thumbs down, I on the other hand emphatically extend it the FINGER!!!!

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Forget Thumps. I give Battlefield Earth the finger.

[1/10 · 29 August 2000]

***CONTAINS SPOILERS***

When I sit in a theater totally silent looking at the exit sign, wondering to myself if I'm missing anything on public television and looking at my watch every five minutes, that is the sign of a bad movie. This movie makes the movie makes Flash Gordon (Sam Jones version) look like THE TEN COMMANDMENTS and The Last Star Fighter look like an Shakespearian epic.

I find myself asking what were they thinking? Couldn't you see this bomb a mile away? I went to see this movie not having heard any of the bad review but good ones and the one that stands out in my mind is the review that said John Travolta is the new face of evil. I said okay, I'll give it a shot and went out to see the movie. After seeing it, I was like WAIT A SECOND!!!!!!!! Now let's go back to the year 1977. People are standing in line around the block to see Star Wars: A New Hope. Now the movie has started, you see two of the biggest ships you have ever seen, the good guys are running down the hall to fight the bad guys who suddenly storm in shooting. The good guys are defeated and then out of the smoke comes this big, huge, gigantic man. He is dressed all in black leather, wearing a mask that would make ancient Chinese warriors wet themselves and he has a huge cape on. He steps in with authority and his men quickly come to attention at his presence. He says nothing as he surveys the damage and then moves on. From this point, you know this is the man who is in charge and this is a man that you do not want to mess with. That is the face of evil. Travolta looked like Lt. Commander Worf's, the Predator, Mili Vanili, and Jean Simmons (of KISS) love child from a wacked out orgy.

One of my favorite scenes is when Johnny Goodboy's girlfriend decides to leave camp to help ol johnny and then she is captured and nearly put's johnny's life in danger. And if I hear the word leverage one more time, I'm going to die. What was Travolta's obsession with leverage. What he needs is a nice Psycholos woman to help him get over his urges of leverage. Let's not forget about Fred Flintstone flying around in a Harrier Jet with Barney Rubble as his wing man. And what's the deal with the dome? First of all we destroy the dome but has someone forgotten the fact that our brave men and women are still in the dome fighting when it comes crashing down. And Travolta must have been the only excellent shot in the entire military because they couldn'taim straight to save their lives. The only good part in the movie is the end and the scene where Forest Whitaker finally gets `leverage' over Travolta. The rest of the movie is nothing but Travolta talking about `leverage', laughing hysterically at every stupid joke that you saw coming a mile away and then him giving Johnny Goodboy all the information he needs to win the war. Alexander the Great he is not.

Anyway, before spending any of your hard earned money on this total flop, I would recommend doing something more useful with your time, such as watching moss grow or watching the birth of a newborn child by cesarean or maybe skinny dipping in zero degree weather. Because you will regret having spent American money on this film. Some of you may have givin Battlefield Earth thumbs up and some thumbs down, but I give Battlefield Earth the finger. Both of them.

The Transformers: The Movie (1986)

Best Animated Series To Make To The Big Screen.

[9/10 · 15 August 2000]

This was a very good movie. Especially in the eyes of ten year old child. Even today I still have to admit to liking the movie although some scenes in the middle of the movie do tend to get childish, but with actors like Orson Wells, Eric Idle, Leonard Nimoy and Robert Stack providing voices, it made the movie more enjoyable. If your looking for some fun and want to reflect back to your younger days, this is the movie to see.

Mission: Impossible II (2000)

Best action movie of 2000

[10/10 · 14 August 2000]

This was the best action movie made in the year 2000. The action was great from start to finish. The movie does slow down briefly during the initial meeting with Cruise and Newton, but once the team is assembled, this movie rocks. Much better than Woo's other films such as Broken Arrow and the Replacement Killers and ten times as better than the first one although it was great also.

Mission Impossible 2 also shows that you can do action packed movies at the PG-13 level and not have all of the graphic violence, language and sex that most current movies do. If your looking for a movie with the ultimate cliff hanger (literally) and thrill ride action, you need to see M:I2.