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jescho13
Reviews
Critters: A New Binge (2019)
Beyond bad
It's as if Troma made a Critters ripoff, but poorly.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
Great movie
Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Loved it! Can't wait for episode 9!
Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis (2005)
brains!?!
If you are a fan of the original Return of the Living Dead and it's 2 sequels, then you should avoid this mess. It's bad enough to make a horrible movie, but to knowingly make a crappy installment to a well liked franchise is an insult to those fans you are targeting. The movie is only 88 minutes, yet they have to stretch that by having two montages of people riding motorcycles and another montage of the "gang" getting prepared A-Team style. This movie has bad makeup, bad effects, a dull paint by numbers script, no humor, and no scares. While the first movie was an EC comic come to life, this movie is one step below a made for TV Lifetime movie. One of the guys who wrote this thing went on to write The Gingerdead Man. Need I say more?
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
When there is no more room in Hell, the dead will sprint the Earth. - Spoilers
I do not understand the idea of remaking good movies. I think I'll re-paint the Mona Lisa. Why not remake bad movies? Just think, a big budget remake of Plan Nine from Outer Space. Then again, if you wash and polish a piece of crap, it's still going to be a piece of crap. Ignoring the fact that it is a remake, the new Dawn of the Dead is a good movie. I would call it a gore filled action movie as opposed to a horror movie. It was not scary at all. 28 Days Later is more of an actual 'horror movie.' Not many modern horror movies are actually scary any more. They have become so post-modern that it is almost impossible to have unique scares anymore. The good thing about this movie is that it does not take it self seriously. James Gunn set out to write a balls to the wall zombie movie and that is exactly what he did. It is obvious that he is a student of Lloyd Kaufmann. The zombie baby scene is something right out of the Troma Universe. It is obvious that Gunn is a big horror movie fan. He knows all of the elements to throw into the mix, like the a*****e you hope gets killed, the comedic yet gruesome death scene, the 'getting and plan and preparing to kick ass scene,' and countless others. He is the perfect person to write a 'horror' movie.
I can do without the MTV style of editing in movies these days. Dawn of the Dead is full of that and it gets annoying and confusing to a degree. The cinematography was great though. It had that kind of grainy look that any horror movie should have. The picture also seemed to stay clear and focused while the camera was rapidly moving around too. The new Dawn of the Dead is a treat for any zombie fan. The whole argument that the zombies move too fast is just silly. There are no rules for zombies because they DON'T EXIST, so film makers can have them do whatever they want them to do. I think they are creepier when they are slow moving and lurking around, but who cares.
The remake ignores the capitalist and consumer oriented society metaphors because they were already explored in the original. That would have been crossing the line of remaking into just ripping off ideas. Have fun and go see the remake. I'm sure Mr. Romero will forgive you.
Jefftowne (1997)
Good first movie, without being exploitive.
Making a documentary about a man with down syndrome can not be an easy thing to do. Some people would simply exploit the subject of the film and play it for laughs. Fortunately, this is not the case with JeffTowne. Daniel Kraus never crossed that line of exploitation, while still providing the viewer with laughs naturally through Jeff's unique personality. Jeff seems a lot happier than other people in the movie and relishes in the fact that he is in this film. This is independent film making at its finest. Kraus didn't worry about having a polished piece of work, but instead focused on telling a unique story about a man that had made an impact on his and his friend's and co-worker's lives.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
'wink,wink' ;)
Freddy vs. Jason is another example of the "new horror" film. Don't take yourself too seriously and be sure to follow the "rules" set forth in previous horror films. It's always been known that sex and drugs kills in horror movies, but since Scream verbalized these rules, most of the following horror movies have followed the Scream template of self parody. It's as if after every kill the murderer turns to the camera and gives and big wink. (If you've seen Freddy vs. Jason, you know what I mean when I talk about winking to the camera.) Making fun of horror movies cliches in modern horror films is becoming cliche in itself. This new post-modern mentality in making horror films is ruining them. I enjoyed the film Wrong Turn more than Freddy vs. Jason, but it too is guilty of the same crime. House of 1000 Corpses was supposed to be the return to the glory days of horror, but it was just the abortion that resulted in all of the other slasher movie icons getting together and having a big orgy. The makers of Freddy vs. Jason feel they have to spoon feed us by using abrupt and illogical exposition, which seems to be about a quarter of the movie. Having waited so long for this movie, it's a huge disappointment for it to be so bad. Horror movies have turned into 90 minute music videos with the slashers being cartoons of themselves from their reign in the 80s.
Dixie Dynamite (1976)
Not enough Dixie
Two Georgia girls get fed up with it all after their moonshiner father is killed by a local deputy. This is the most light hearted revenge film I think I've ever seen. Warren Oates keeps the movie from sinking, but one has to wonder why he's even in the movie. His character could be left out and it wouldn't really change the story at all. One of the major flaws of this film is that appears to be filmed in California, while it is set in rural Georgia. Anyone who enjoys southern literature knows that the South itself is a character, and it is hard to duplicate that "character" in California. During the car chases, we see sand flying around, as opposed to red mud, and the "small town" looks more like urban LA. I often forgot I was watching a movie set in the deep south. Lee Frost is a great B-movie director. He realizes he's not making epics and is able to keep his movies moving at a reasonable pace, while avoiding such b-movie cliches such as excessive exposition. It's just too bad he couldn't shoot the movie on location in the south. The funniest part of the movie are the "No Help Wanted" signs hanging in all of the shops of the small town. I don't think I've ever seen a "No Help Wanted" sign, but I thought they were a great idea in this movie. If you want to see a better Lee Frost movie, then watch "The Thing with Two Heads." If you want to see a great Warren Oates film, watch "Cockfighter," also set in Georgia, and filmed in Georgia. "Dixie Dynamite" is a good example of a women's revenge movie, but a poor example of a Southern women's revenge movie.
Paranoid (2000)
Is Ed Wood still alive?
A very cheap movie made in order to try and capitalize on the success of recent horror movies such as "Scream." The beauty of no budget, independent films are that the makers of such movies are forced to be creative and use their imaginations to make up for the lack of money. This is not the case here. Someone wanted to make money with a small investment, and in return they crapped out "Frightmare." At least Ed Wood loved what he did and, in his mind, tried his best.