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Reviews
Drawing Blood (1999)
Damn this is an awesome movie!!!!!
This movie rocks!It has it all,full frontal nudity,blood,gore,horny old people,and of course vampires.The plot is an aspiring young artist named edmund meets another artist named diana.He falls in love with her and she reveals to him that she is a vampire.She proves this by plunging a butcher knife into her gut and making the wound instantly disappear.she tells him she wants to be together for eternity and tries to bite him.He says he likes being mortal and makes a deal with her.If he supplies her with models to paint (After she drinks their blood) using their blood to paint their corpses for an upcoming art show she has and she wont kill him.Somewhere along the line edmund goes crazy and falls in love with one of diana's would be victims.And he tries to save her,from there on the shit just hits the fan.Throw in some homeless prostitutes, a horny old guy, a friend of edmunds who wants to be a vampire,a lot of violence and blood and a whole slew of sex scenes and you'v got an awsome troma film!This movie is really funny and I highly reccomend it!
Jack Frost (1997)
oh god,where is his carrot nose?
This is a really awsome b movie.The basic plot of this film is a serial killer somehow gets turned into a snow man and kills people.From beheadings to axe handle swallowing jack frost has it all even carrot rapings!!!!The film also show cases some of the worst looking snow your apt to see.The film has some gore and is insanely funny.so I reccomend everyone to go rent or buy this movie!!And remember "Never eat yellow snow!!!!"
Killer Nerd (1991)
How could anyone not love this movie?
I'll start off by saying if you don't enjoy no budget b movies stay away from this one.This movie is freaking hilarious.It's the story of the worlds biggest nerd,who gets pushed to far and becomes "Killer Nerd"!!!!!He goes around dispatching the people who ridiculed him in amazingly gory ways.He spoon feeds his mom draino while wearing a giant diaper!If that isnt high quality entertainment I dont know what is!This movie is a must see.My only gripes are why the hell do they show about ten minutes worth the footage of him looking in the mail box?!?!?And another five of him dancing in a nightclub.Well despite that this is an awsome movie that stands up for the little guy!
Prison of the Dead (2000)
Holy sh*t?!?!?!? did I just pay 4 bucks to see this!?
I will start off by saying this is indeed the worst film ever made.The story if you can call it that,is some guy that looks like he is straight off of beverly hills 90210 pretends he is dead and sets up a fake funeral at a castle.His friends show up and he gets up out of the coffin laughing.they get p***ed,and he tells them they can win a million bucks.All they have to do is find the "talon key".So they all agree and hold a seance.One girl gets possesed by a cartoon wavy thingy and starts speaking latin.As it turns out the castle was an old witches prison and the cartoon thing was one of there spirits.This somehow wakes up three hunch back/executioners and they rise from there graves.and they repeat the scene of them getting out of the ground about 15 times.From then on everyone wanders around and a cartoon thing goes into their mouth and they just stand still and say "Sutra,Sutra,Sutra" then the 3 hunch backs come and the victim says "ah the executioners" then you see the weapons raise and a squirt of blood goes on the person.Then later when you see the bodies the wounds and blood have magically vanished!It doesnt remotely make sense however it is not as bad as bloodstorm.anywho the people just all get killed without resisting at all.It is the worst movie ever made avoid it at all cost.For anyone who has seen it I recomend flushing your eyes out with acid.And then there is the great quote "I never had sex with a zombie before,is this gonna hurt?"In closing I would like to say if I made this movie I would most likely put a bullet in my head.
Shadow Creature (1995)
A fun and gory movie with a few twists
This movie was ok.I mean its a typical low budget horror movie.The acting is terrible the plot is bad and so are the special effects.Despite that its just a fun movie to watch.its like "Bad Taste" or "Killer Klowns From Outer Space" or even "Ticks" It doesnt matter how cheesy the movie is its just cool.I recommend it to anyone who just wants to sit back and watch the movie for what it is(a low budget horror movie parody).Just dont take it seriously and you'll be fine.Also you might have a bit of a hard time finding this one.It is extremely rare.I am hopefully going to win my ebay auction for it so i can enjoy it again.Look for the really nasty gore scenes their so exaggerated its hilarious.(Rated R for strong violence and gore)
Dr. Giggles (1992)
Awesome!!!!!!!!!
When I first rented this movie I expected it to be another slasher movie like so many others.However while I was watching I realized it couldn't be a slasher movie because of one thing...it had a plot.The movie is very cool we get tons of very graphic murders and some funny one liners at each one.The film uses tons of gore and is very funny.The acting is pretty good which is another reason it couldn't be a slasher movie.The story line is really cool and believable and builds up a lot of suspense towards the end.The music is also very good.If your looking for a gory and funny horror movie rent this one today!!!
C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud (1989)
An insult to all who watch it and the original film.
This movie was on at 3am and being a fan of the original I couldn't wait for it to start.I should have shut off my tv right then and saved myself the time.Apparently two kids who are terrible actors lose a cadaver that was going to be used in science class and need a quick replacement.So they go to a "Top Secret" facility and walk out the front door with "BUD the chud"The chud is revived and and starts "eating" people.However when the chud eats them it takes about 10 seconds and there is no blood at all.They then in turn turn to chuds so basicly they are only interested in making more chuds.The movie is terribly acted,written and directed and has a paper thin plot.Among the scientific things learned in the film supercharged brains explode and no blood comes out of the victims.And most importantly of all Bud the chud likes to have sex with poodles!The original was an excellent movie but this movie is a discrace!Do not watch this movie.