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RoboGarrett
Reviews
Blockbuster (2022)
Here's The Gist...
I haven't been on IMDB for three years apparently. It took this show to get me to login and do the password reset etc just so I could post here and say how truly awful I thought this show was. The writing rates a zero, there's a couple good lead actors but they are just coasting in this and the rest of the cast is just plain awful. The jokes are predictable and lame. No wonder this show got canceled pretty much as soon as it started streaming.
It's a shame because it's actually a really promising premise for a comedy series, they just didn't do anything good with it. Like, anything good at all. It's really, really awful. Rates a rare lowest score of "1" from me.
Rocketman (2019)
It's Just Not That Good - Very Disappointing!
I like Elton John's music but this movie just wasn't very good. The choreography wasn't great, the star didn't do a very good impression and only sort of looked like him. The main song in the film that won an Oscar wasn't even any good, and obviously it only won because it was Elton John. The subject of the movie (Elton John's life and troubles and music) is cool but that doesn't automatically make it a good movie, it's more like a cheap, by the numbers After School Special that happens to have Elton's music in it. It's no better than the worst episode of Behind the Music, because at least those seem like real people telling real stories. Very disappointed in this one.
The Bad Batch (2016)
The Bad Movie
This movie is very bad. It's supremely boring which is odd considering it's about cannibals in a dystopian desert. Most of it is just people walking, standing or sitting in silence, as other reviewers here have already pointed out. Just a terrible film. One bonus star for having good actors in the cast.
The Defense Rests: A Tribute to Raymond Burr (1993)
A Classy Sendoff
This was a very classy goodbye done by NBC for the actor Raymond Burr shortly after the Perry Mason, Ironside and movie star passed away in 1993. Barbara is an excellent host and the show is quite touching, especially the end where she says goodbye to her longtime acting partner and friend where she fights back her own tears.
It's kind of odd seeing co-host Bill Cosby in this or anything else any more now that he's been outed as a big creep who harassed women, but once you get past that and realize this is really Barbara's show and it's all about Raymond Burr, it's a nice watch for any fan of his, or of TV in general.
Country Crush (2016)
Bad Hallmark Knockoff
This movie is just no good. Super cheese from start to finish.
Scorched (2003)
Pretty Bad
I like some of the actors in this. Cook, Silverstone, Cleese. Woody H is OK by me. I didn't like the other guys in this but they're not terrible or anything. The problem is that the story is so very, very stupid and really doesn't even make sense. Is this the only bank in the world that still has no cameras? They chalk up the various robberies to mysterious "hackers" even though physical cash is missing and I guess they can't even check the cameras since they have none or something? They've been robbed and despite there being like 20 cops on the scene they don't even question any of the employees? This movie is beyond unbelievably stupid. Also, John Cleese is fine in this but he deserves so much better. I bet every actor in this was just counting the hours until they got to pick up their pay and go home. This movie stinks!
21 (2008)
Big on Budget, Small on Heart
This movie is OK but it does not have the same quality or impact as The Last Casino, also based on the book. The "true story" aspect is very much fictionalized. They have an A-list star in Spacey but go for show rather than story. The story is OK if a little predictable. The acting is sub-par other than Spacey. It's just not that great of a film.
Return to Mayberry (1986)
Welcome Back to Mayberry, Y'all!
This is a very nice reunion special that all fans of the show will like a lot. Just good, clean family fun and a nod to the past series and characters. Welcome Back to Mayberry!
Mr. D (2012)
Not Funny
This show just was not funny. I have no idea how it was on for several seasons, I thought it was on a couple years until I saw several seasons on IMDb here. Guess that's what happened when tax dollars are used to keep shows on the air without caring if anyone is even watching them. Mr. D himself is not funny either. Oh well!
Ouija Shark (2020)
Embarrassing
This is just embarrassing. 99% of the budget must have gone to the poster and title which make it seem like it is at least possible this could be worth watching or at least funny. But no this is horrible in every way possible. A terrible script if there even is one at all, actors who are clearly just a group of friends who decided one day "let's make a movie!" and the lowest technical quality you can imagine. Why would you people even make this? Don't you feel any embarrassment?
Purge of Kingdoms: The Unauthorized Game of Thrones Parody (2019)
Really Bad
This movie is really awful. The jokes are just brutally bad. Terrible acting too.
The Last Big Save (2019)
The Real Big Save We Need
The real big save we need is someone to save Danny Aiello and the Baldwin brother from appearing in this fake movie. The old guy who made and stars in this movie buys commercial time on Hamilton Ontario TV to pretend he has a TV show and pays these stars to be in these awful movies. I hope they got a lot of money to embarrass themselves like this! Yecch!
Jexi (2019)
The Funniest Adam Devine Movie
Which still makes it one of the least funny movies ever made. Adam Devine is the worst and this movie bites dead ones.
Madea's Family Reunion (2006)
This is the Best Madea Movie
But it is still terrible. Madea is the worst character and in the worst movies in comedy history.
Cats (2019)
It's very bad.
This movie is very, very, very, very... very, very bad. Very.
A Madea Family Funeral (2019)
Torture
Watch this movie if you want to torture yourself. It is one of the absolute worst films I have ever seen. It's not even terrible in a way where you can at least laugh AT it, it's just plain awful with no entertainment to be had whatsoever.
Will & Grace (1998)
From Unfunny to Terrible and Unfunny
I never got the love for this show and thought the jokes were terrible, but at least it used to have some value, I guess... but the new episodes or Will and Grace are probably the absolute worst television episodes of any show I have ever seen in my life. Less funny than anything. Truly terrible.
Pelle erobreren (1987)
Incredible
This movie is incredible, and perhaps the greatest performance in the stellar career of the legendary (and underrated) Max Von Sydow. He is amazing in this! Four stars!
Acid Head: The Buzzard Nuts County Slaughter (2011)
A Terrible Movie (If It Was A Movie)
Let me say first that Mr. Ryan Scott not only hits the nail on the head about what a lying, desperate fraud Tony Watt is, his short review is also a hundred times more entertaining than all of Tony Watt's fake movies combined.
As for my review of this Acid Head garbage - I would say this movie is terrible but it is so poorly done it does not even come close to being what one might describe as a "movie".
Awakening (2006)
3 for Effort
I'll give this a 3 for the effort and because a couple of the actors are good. Over all this is a truly terrible zombie movie. Awful writing, no idea how to actually create a film, bad sound and video, just really bad all the way through. Still you can tell they have a love for the subject they are trying to create (zombie films) and as I said a couple of the actors were good. Most others were bad though or even just plain awful (Tex Watt especially was so cringe inducing we actually watched the credits of this turkey to see who was responsible for such a bad performance).
Long Shot (2019)
Terrible
This movie is not funny. It's not even a good movie in general. Seth Rogen falling down and once again smoking too much pot and swearing is well beyond old at this point, it's getting quite pathetic. Theron's performance is OK but the writing and movie in general are just awful. It's 100% predictable and not even funny by accident.
Spun Out (2014)
A Train Wreck! Here's Why I Hated This Show
Despite having an enormous budget, seemingly endless promotion on all of CTV's properties and on billboards, bus stops, etc, and a cast headlined by Kids in the Hall and NewsRadio's Canadian golden boy David Foley, that also featured big name guest stars... this show was an enormous flop.
The basic idea of trying to bring back big budget U.S. style multi-cam sitcoms was absurd to begin with. They simply could not compete with the flash, the style, the budgets, the talent, and even if they could, they were already very much out of style.
When season one hit the air it was quickly apparent that the show was a disaster. The characters, outside of Foley and a couple of the women, were horribly written and performed. The guy who I think is supposed to have been gay is truly a candidate for worst sitcom character of all time. They tried so desperately to make him funny, and it was so hard to watch.
How the much hated series got a second season is beyond understanding, unless that was the plan all along and it was already paid for. But even though you'd think it couldn't get any worse, it did. Not just the comedy they were making, or failing to make, but everything the show touched seemingly. Season two was supposed to premiere after the Super Bowl in what must be just about the best time slot in existence. But the show was pulled from the air after Bryce (actor J.P. Manoux) was arrested and charged with voyeurism after the women subletting his condo got suspicious after his texts kept seeming to indicate he knew where they were and when, then discovered he had hidden cameras in the place, which were connected to the internet. He ended up being found guilty of mischief, but the season still aired eventually.
The reviews were savage (at least the real ones that weren't promoting the show for CTV's corporate masters). Word of mouth was universally not just bad but people took some kind of sick pleasure in breaking down how awful their brief experiences were in trying to watch the show. Like a car wreck we knew it was awful but just could not look away. We tried to guess how many tax dollars were lining the pockets of the lucky stiffs who were making this show. (Can't blame Foley, he deserves whatever money he got and did a capable job with the nothing he had to work with.)
One final note to explain my unabashed hatred of this show as I write this six years later, I personally went to a taping and it was literally so unbearably bad that my friend and I had to lie to studio staff to escape. We said we had to get her medicine from her car and would be back, then didn't look back. The staffers actually tried to herd people on our bathroom break and physically blocked the doors to prevent any of us from leaving, in other words they obviously had this problem regularly. We literally were afraid that they would stop us at the gate and send us back, isn't that insane? Just imagine how bad that taping was that we were trying to escape it like prisoners from jail haha!
That's what happens though when you have people show up, show them over half an hour of clips from previous tapings on small TV screens (why?), then make them sit through a terrible comedian telling jokes (why?), then make them sit through set changes and scenes we could not even see or hear from our seats (why any of this?). What we could see was not funny anyway, so I'm not even complaining. It was just such a bizarre and unpleasant experience.
The novelty of seeing David Foley in real life wore off after five minutes and then we decided to abandon our plan to try to get a picture with him after the show and just wanted to leave and get some food. They kept us there for more than three hours and the live studio audience almost revolted, demanding food or to be let go. They tried to bribe us with cheap cardboard tasting delivered pizzas, but we finally had enough and made our escape. You can only sit there, hungry and bored while watching TV show staffers laugh at their own terrible, snail paced show and eat good food right in front of you for so long.
One thing I definitely noticed that afternoon-evening was, the decent performers were the ones who were not laughing and just happy to be there getting paid, they were the ones who looked embarrassed. That was not a coincidence.
As you can probably tell from reading this, that studio taping is one of the biggest disappointments of my life. We thought it would be cool and fun TV magic! No way, it basically felt like we'd been kidnapped. My friend's friend who did stick it out told us the entire process ended up taking more than five hours and did not get any better.
The TL/DR? The show was a terrible idea, the few really talented people they had were wasted completely and the writing and jokes were quite awful. The show was a disaster in every area and should have been canceled, no actually it never should have been made.
Hopefully David Foley will be back starring in another show soon that actually deserves him.
The Godfather (1972)
Still the Classic Mob Movie
This movie really is at or near "perfect" level filmmaking. The writing, directing and especially acting are all superb. What a great cast, what a great story (based on a great novel by Puzo)... no matter how many times I watch it, I never get tired of The Godfather.
Schitt$ Creek (2015)
More Fake Positive Reviews Than A Frank D'Angelo Film
This show was rated poorly then thousands of reviews showed up simultaneously, by people who coincidentally had never rated anything before, giving it 10's and 9's. Wow what a coincidence!
This show is not terrible. Anything with three comedy legends in it like O'Hara, Levy (the older one not the talent starved son) and Chris Elliott has to be good. Whoever plays the sister is also charming and can be funny as well. But the writing is awful, based on nothing but tons of gay stereotype jokes, fish out of water rich jokes and above all else the scatological dad jokes that come with literally creating a show called "Schitt's Creek."
The show doesn't even make sense. They're rich, their accountant stole their money, but... they still own a town? Well, you can't own a government so that means they own the land, which means they can either collect rent from a bunch of people and businesses, or they can sell it and move somewhere decent. I guess they decided just to ignore those basic facts so they could keep their "hilarious" premise of characters owning a town called Poop Something.
Almost no thought was put into this show. The characters are one dimensional and the jokes are predictable and very bad. Oddly they are trying very hard to be woke but the show is full of stereotypes, effeminate gay bashing and undercutting feminism.
The bottom line? The show's real stars do what they can, but the writing is so far beneath them, the premise is flawed and cheap, and for a comedy it's simply not funny! All the fake reviews in the world won't change that.
Workin' Moms (2017)
I Didn't Find It Funny
Is this show only meant for actual working moms to watch? Honest question because I don't know anyone who is like this or who has watched and liked this show. The "working moms" portrayed on the show are very unreal and don't face real problems like most working moms in real life actually do. They're pretty well off to be honest. They just seem like whiny basic Karens to me. The acting is good but the writing is garbage, with really bad jokes you can see coming a mile away. Just my opinion as one viewer though.