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ckyprianou
Reviews
Blinded by the Light (2019)
Wonderful, uplifting, Bruce !
Based on true events of the teenage years of author Sarfraz Manzoor, this delightful, uplifting film will leave you cheering. The issues of racism, family, immigrants, aspirations, friendships and of course the music of the boss, Bruce Springsteen help this to make it as relevant today as it its setting in Luton at the end of the 1980s. There's a powerful scene with a National Front protest and a Muslim family on their way to the daughter's wedding that could have been mistaken for news in 2023, fuelled by the inflammatory language of Britain's current Home Secretary. ( as nothing is forever, she'll be gone very soon )
It's a joyous film with winning performances from the cast that is full of humour, sadness and drama. Enjoy and sing along to the magnificent Bruce !
3 caminos (2021)
Utter nonsense
It's hard for me to articulate just what utter rubbish this. Never mind the obvious inaccuracies of doing the Camino ( they have the most inappropriate but fashion conscious apparel of any pilgrims, it never rains even on the winter walk, there is always glorious sunshine, nobody suffers any physical hardship, and worst of all, they seem to continually stay in luxury accommodation! ) The story is dreary, unimaginative, full of tropes and there is absolutely no drama that surprises. It's all so predictable. The scenery is of course spectacular ( the Camino is .. even the fiat boring parts have their beauty ) but it's not enough to waste your precious time watching. Avoid !
Toy Boy (2019)
Compulsive viewing cos it's so bad.
This is addictive viewing of a terrible series. Plotting is clumsy, the script is fine for a 1st year graduate of film studies, and the wooden acting so prevalent , it starts to look like an ikea store! Assumptions are made, jumped to and quickly forgotten as our unconvincing hero, wrongly accused of a murder he didn't commit 7 years ago races around with his pretty lawyer ( really! ) as they play detectives to try and clear his name,The sub plots become increasingly annoying ( female empowerment, drugs , Bolivians, infidelity, corruption, filial loyalty, mental health, parenting etc ) as the series drags itself to its inevitable conclusion,. And yet you feel compelled to watch until the end like a horrible accident you're about to witness. Rubbish but perfect to turn off your brain.to Marbella looks pretty though !
Maria Sharapova: The Point (2017)
Only for devoted Sharapova fans
A love letter to herself. There's nothing here that questions or challenges Sharapova as to why she was taking the banned substance, sold in this film as an " honest" mistake.. yet she was dropped by 2 of her biggest sponsor! The documentary is turgid and sheds little light on the athlete other than she comes over ( rightly or wrongly ) as just any other young woman addicted to her Instagram account, her wardrobe and her appearance. Tennis fans should avoid unless you love this woman.
It (2017)
Tedious
There is no sense of tension or any kind of drama in this pedestrian update of the 1990s TV mini series, The children's characters are underdeveloped clichés, from the bullies to the bullied { a fat boy, a boy who stutters, a boy who with asthma, a black kid, bla bla bla) The end of the 1980s setting, the homage to Stand by Me in small town America are the only redeeming qualities to this waste of effort. It just goes on and on without any of the excitement that this genre should bring. Occasional screaming, louder annoying music, and slamming doors are standard ingredients that are poorly and badly overused. Stranger things on Netflix did this far better!
Ocho apellidos vascos (2014)
Utter Rubbish
Utter Tosh. A highly predictable dirge of a film taking stereotypical characters (lazy but cheerful Andalusians, defensive nationalistic Basques) and then placing them in situations to which you know exactly how it is going to finish. The comedy is supposed to be slapstick and an ironic look at the two distinct areas of Spain but it quickly becomes tedious and in places offensive. It's repetitive (proud Basque father, intimidated daughter, happy go lucky Sevillian) and would be fine as a five minute sketch. Despite this being one of the highest grossing films in Spanish Cinema, many Spanish friends of mine have also commented how "simple" and childish the comedy is. A case of the "Emperor's New Clothes" as there is nothing really here. Truly truly horrible.
Hotel Tívoli (2007)
a film about a lighter - no really!
This is quite the most absurd piece of nonsense I have seen in a long time. Only a Spanish filmmaker could get funding to "follow" the life of a cigarette lighter as various tedious people discard it after use only for it to continue its journey with another tedious smoker. I mean really.. None of the "stories" of the cigarette lighter's various owners are remotely interesting as they are all dealt with too briefly for us to become engaged. So we don't care.. Well, I didn't anyway. The lighter never becomes damaged, never runs out of gas (so more nonsense) and the fatuous plot devices and clunking dialogue left me flabbergasted.. I mean, really.. a film about a cigarette lighter! Only in Spain.....
The Holiday (2006)
yuck!
What is the nonsense? Why are these 5 great actors in this utter drivel? The premise of two broken-hearted women (why not men?) getting over a relationship and amazingly both having a house available at exactly the same time to do a house swap is incredulous and suspends and defies belief. Oh yes, and then they find love!(Bless!) From then on,it's all downhill (with me so far?)I rate Cameron Diaz as a fine comic actress, Jude's a cracker as haunted man, Jack rocks and Kate, well what can you say about Kate? Why did she do this rubbish? It has no artistic merit or value. It's not even worth wasting a rainy winter's Sunday afternoon for. Really.!
Troy (2004)
Daft
I feel compelled to write to fellow IMDb.com users and tell them that if they have got half a brain cell, then they should avoid seeing this terrible, simplistic film. It has all the hallmarks of an epic (stellar cast, mega-bucks thrown at it, superb locations) but frankly, it fails to engage the viewer on any level.(unless you're a 12 year old girl drooling over Brad, Orland or Eric) Yes, the locations are lovely and the computer imaging spot-on but all of this is insignificant if there is nothing to absorb the viewer. I found the music overbearing and intrusive but most of all, it's the appalling script that floored me. It's just plain daft - full of witless pronouncements that scream their way to such obvious developments, that even scriptwriters of soaps would be ashamed. I lost count how many times I screamed out "Oh Please!" Rubbish!
Maybe Baby (2000)
Tedious
Yep, This is a fairly pedestrian plod through not very well drawn characters that you don't end up caring about. Ben Elton is much funnier on paper (in book form this is INCONCEIVABLE) than he is directing his script which also suffers from the rather dreary Joely Richardson. She can't do comedy!!There's no real empathy from her and even the winning Hugh Laurie can't do much with what he's got. All the supporting characters are fill-ins and ultimately too one dimensional (Dawn French as a jolly Aussie nurse? Emma Thompson as mad hippie friend complete with bad hair and flowing robes?) A pity, as Ben Elton had the potential to explore something deeply moving and yet funny. Instead it's a film to do the ironing to.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
Daft but entertaining
This film is pure hokum. It's main attraction is (again) the CGI dinosaurs. Good thing too as the 'plot' and dialogue is stupid and silly. However, it's PLAYED like they all know it's daft and yet it is entertaining. My Year 5 kids loved it!
Death to Smoochy (2002)
Another crap Robin Williams film
Poor old Robin Williams....why is he just so annoying? This film is irritating and tiresome. Any attempt to be darkly funny and biting is negated by the hyperactive Williams and Ed Norton, who does his best to emulate the pesky Williams. I ended up turning this atrocity off to end up watching "un dos tres" on Spanish TV - now THERE'S a travesty!
Down with Love (2003)
Ghastly!
This film is to be blunt awful. Fluffy colours and pretty sets do not a good film make. It's not funny, it's not interesting and the characterisations are an insult to even two dimensional characters. I admire both the lead actors, Ewan McGregor and Renee Zellwegger but have to ask what in God's name made them think this was funny? Doris Day and Rock Hudson homage? P-lease! AVOID!
Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India (2001)
A joy!
Like many other viewers, I just picked this DVD up from my local library not sure quite what to expect. 2 discs and 225 minutes later I too was cheering and whooping in delight. OK, the story is nothing original but the exquisite manner and sheer love of detail in which it is told cannot fail to win you over. The Indian leads are charming, funny, delightful and earn our compassion whilst the English leads play the Imperalists down to a tea (no pun intended) And as for th supporting cast! Wow...just sheer joy. For me I can't understand why the overrated mish-mash that is The Pianist scoops up the plaudits whilst this glorious understated masterpiece slips by unnoticed. Go rent it now!!!
La comunidad (2000)
Enjoyable Romp
I'm not a fan of Spanish cinema - no not even of Almodovar - but I'd read the reviews and thought I'd give it a go. It's a delight! Particularly the first hour when the pace and the very dark humour never lets up at all. Carmen Maura is outstanding as the estate agent caught up in the web of crazy occupants, her own miserable domestic situation and 300 million pesetas. Admittedly the last 15 minutes is a bit daft but how else could Alex de La iglesia have ended it. Go and enjoy and then ask yourself, what would you do if you found the equivalent of £12 million?
El crimen del padre Amaro (2002)
Silly billy!
So what's so 'controversial' about this very weak, poorly narrated and entirely unconvincing melodrama? (only worthy of the Hallmark channel) None of the characters were engaging - sterotypes to the core and dreary to say the least. I'm glad I didn't pay to see this - as others have already said - THAT would be a crime. Avoid.
The Pianist (2002)
Why the fuss?
Sorry guys but this film is rather OK. Not great, not awful just OK - anyone else think the same? My main criticism lies with Brody, too lightweight to carry such a demanding role that failed to excite any empathy apart from OK. Surely a leading character has to engender SOME emotion - be it love, hate, warmth, passion, fear, whatever - I just got the message that Brody was going through the motions - and that terrible flick of hair irritated too! Sorry guys, POOH!