toni_valjus Reviews

Groom Lake (2002)

awful awful awful

[1/10 · 28 December 2005]

Must be the worst film i've seen this year. William Shatner... Somehow that name told me I was about to see some interesting Sci-fi. How wrong I was. This is not good sci-fi. It is awful sci-fi. The effects are bad, the hand-camera choice isn't a wise one, for starters.

This is nothing. It's so lame, so bad actors, so bad a script you just want to die while watching. It isn't even funny. Some flicks are bad so they become fun, but this isn't even that.

Somehow I had the bad taste to pick this one time I was to rent a movie. It was so boring I had to fast-forward the last two thirds of the film. Never see this!

Just a friendly warning.

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Mold

[5/10 · 12 May 2000]

A slight disappointment. Well I didn't really know what to expect. Maybe I was a little bit bias being a finn; with Renny Harlin directing the movie. What's there to say then? I found Deep Blue Sea quit unrealistic, not very scary, sometimes even a bit silly. The movie is molded in the same form that the majority of cheap horror movies since the dawn of the genre. The plot is weak; you never feel for any of the characters. What's there to keep after this? Maybe it is the plot being so classic that is the strength of the movie. Harlin changes a couple of things in the mold, and succeeds in surprising me. My favourite scene has to be; spoiler warning; the one where Samuel L. Jacksons character starts to give a great speech about how the group should stick together when things are going bad, and the second he has finished a shark comes and bites his torso right off. Hysterically funny and brilliant scene.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Pilot for Tv-series?

[5/10 · 30 April 2000]

It struck me, after I finished watching the "first" episode of Star Wars, that it reminded me of a pilot for a tv-series, although more advanced technique and better actors. It was the same kind of uninspired plot, too "thready" if you know what I mean. It's more about learning to know the characters that show up in the "later" episodes, than being told an interesting story. And Jar Jar Binks: I really hated him! Watchable, but mostly for Star Wars-freaks.