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Reviews
Pillow Party Massacre (2023)
A worthy effort for a young filmmaker
I enjoy the slasher sub genre more than any other, having been there in the golden age. As a result I'm always looking for new "throwback" additions.
Most fail because they try to do something new or put a fresh twist on things. That's now how it's done. The key is knowing that the "formula" works and following that formula with your own new and unique story.
This young filmmaker did a great job following the formula. The story works and he pieced it together nicely. It is a well done by the book slasher. A nice watch for the OG fans of the sub genre.
Things for this filmmaker to look at to improve in his next foray in the slasher arena:
Likeable characters: Outside of Jax Kellington's "Alana" all of the female characters were unlikeable and the cliche "you wanted them to die" could be said. May have been the script, nay have been the performances. Either way, outside of Alana, the cast didn't work. Kellington could be another Quigley in the making, who knows.
Soundtrack: I will chalk up the lack of atmosphere and tension to a fairly weak soundtrack. Use of ambient sound and synth tracks to brood and build tension would have helped tremendously. Similar to Carpenter's original mistake with Halloween.
Atmosphere: A little less daylight, a bit more dusk and night time. The daytime shots were ok but needed to contain more fun interaction and some light hearted humor tossed in as opposed to the girls bitching and moaning about everything that we got. Also, the killer's "costume" was on point but the 21st century smiley mask can be 86'd. It's too "Scream"(y) and not scary.
To the filmmaker, great job on a throwback slasher. You succeeded where many have failed. Better casting, outside of Kellington, and a more intense, suspenseful soundtrack would go a long way. Keep following the path you're on !
Terror Train 2 (2022)
Another solid Tubi original slasher
Agree with others, this is a solid sequel to a solid remake. Tubi is doing the right thing in the slasher genre, and that is sticking to the tried and true formula of a slasher. Don't reinvent it, just do it right.
This movie is exactly what you'd expect in a Terror Train sequel. Soundtrack used effectively and enough practical effects mixed in with off screen kills to keep it bloody and not break the budget.
Acting is solid, the Magician and Pet were standouts but overall good performances. It was ironic that some characters were chiding the lead, Alana, for making it all about "her" while most of her dialogue WAS actually shifting the narrative back to her. Good for a perhaps unintended chuckle.
Keep it up Tubi, the formula works. Maybe a good Sleepaway Camp style next time !
Il tuo vizio è una stanza chiusa e solo io ne ho la chiave (1972)
What a ridiculous movie
How this film would rate over 3 stars is unbelievable.
First off it's not even remotely a Giallo. A domestic drama perhaps, not even a thriller. If you don't know who the guilty party is right away then you probably dozed off.
Ridiculous storyline with laughable performances by some of the genre regulars. If it took more than a week to film this movie I'd be surprised. There is zero suspense, zero tension, zero scares, very minimal bloodshed and every character is extremely unlikeable.
Just an absolutely abysmal movie in any genre you want to lump it in. Very disappointing. There is no redeeming feature to even try to highlight, it is all bad. Even the ridiculous ending which is more comical than revealing.
Terror Train (2022)
A solid millennial remake
A remake is a remake for a reason. It's not a reimagining. This is a solid remake of the original which is deserving of a thumbs up and well worth a watch.
It is a little over social engineered but I think Americans are getting used to this in the entertainment industry by now.
The acting is ok, the plot twists and character arcs are well done from the original. Some holes in the timelines of the story but they are minor and I thought the finale was a good variation from the original.
All in all a good remake that is an enjoyable watch, even for fans of the original back in the day like me.
Another thumbs up for Tubi in the slasher genre. Keep the originals and remakes coming !
The Final Rose (2022)
Tubi original slasher - getting it right !
Thumbs up to Tubi for getting it done right. No frills straight up slasher that would have went over well back in the golden era (78-83). No wasted effort of trying to "do something different" which ruins most modern horror/thriller/murder mystery movies.
Enough blood spilled and gore to separate it from a Lifetime movie or micro budget slasher on Prime or YouTube.
Keep them coming Tubi, you've found the formula that fans of the genre want: Don't reinvent the wheel, just do it right. The formula never gets old it just needs a good script, a good cast and good production.
Well done, slasher fans new and old alike can tune in and be entertained.
Tubi should anchor in and own the genre now.
Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)
An absolute disgrace
There is not one thing even remotely entertaining, funny or vaguely interesting about this movie. A completely disgraceful sh*tshow. If Keanu didn't make this movie out of pity so that people could get paid there is no other excuse.
Last of the Grads (2021)
New wave slasher comes up short
I admire the filmmakers putting a solid effort to keep the slasher subgenre alive. Unfortunately there are more shortcomings than positives though the film is watchable and a couple of the kills ok.
I think the acting was ok for an amateur unknown cast. To me there were some people miscast in their roles and would've been better served swapping characters with another.
The soundtrack missed the mark on a lot of occasions and was overbearing in spots.
Still, I like effort by the filmmakers and hope they devote themselves and hone their craft in the slasher retro-slasher category.
Seance (2021)
Decent enough millennial slasher
A solid throwback slasher. I think the film makers know what to do and what it takes to excel in the sub-genre and this movie works fairly well despite some weak points.
The pacing was adequate. It took a little while to gain traction but then kept things moving and fairly interesting. The kills were for the most part bloodless and standard fare until the 3rd act when the gore and effects were amped up a bit, with a bit of cheesy 80's flair to them.
It was simple enough to figure out who the killer is, and they didn't seem to mask it, however there was a bit of a twist to it at the end that worked well enough.
One of the films biggest drawbacks is that none of the characters are even remotely likeable. A successful slasher needs to have a protagonist or final girl that you become invested in and care about. In this one the viewer would be fine with everyone being killed.
The lead was terribly miscast and the actress dreadful. Perhaps a family friend? A fresh take on the casting may have led to a much more enjoyable venture. But again, to make a successful slasher the viewer must be rooting for the final girl. This film badly missed the mark on that.
A solid 5-6 which is accurately reflected in the rating as of March 2022.
There's Someone Inside Your House (2021)
Retro slasher done right/wrong
The good:
For those who like the golden era slashers, the story is satisfying and thumbs up to the makers of this film for getting it done right. The acting was fine and the pacing adequate. The kills well done.
The bad:
Unfortunately the filmmakers exerted maximum effort in pushing stereotypes to the extreme. So much so that I could imagine anyone watching this movie finding it off putting.
It took a 6-7 rating down to a 4-5.
I'm not sure how long it will take the industry to understand that a just society doesn't notice nor obsess over stereotype, it focuses on the individual. Eventually it will come around, in the mean time viewers will have to suffer through this ignorance.
Teacher Shortage (2020)
Definitely NOT a fun throwback 80's slasher
This movie, imo, is almost as bad as it can get. Keep in mind I think a throwback slasher like Varsity Blood is a great example of a well done throwback style slasher.
Unfortunately there's not one redeeming quality I could find in this movie. The acting was absolutely dreadful, with the exception of having cast Brinke Stevens and Tamara Glynn who were underutilized anyways.
It's not fun to do a completely negative review and I give a LOT of leeway to slasher movies because there's really nowhere fresh to take the genre, but a nicely done homage to the past can be a great watch.
This is just a dreadful film.
Relic (2020)
Not scary - AT ALL !
The positives:
The acting was very good
The cinematography was very good
Unfortunately for a "scary movie" there are no other positives.
There is nothing either scary, suspenseful, cohesive or in it's entirety even interesting about this movie.
2 stars is for the acting and cinematography, the rest of this movie is utter garbage and a complete waste of a horror enthusiasts time.
Varsity Blood (2014)
One of the better throwback slashers !
If this film was released in 1981 it would be considered a staple of the sub-genre. That being said it is still one of the best movies made in the past decade or so that is clearly a throwback to the golden era.
The acting was above par for a low budget flick with the token most hated guy, Blaine (Blair Jackson), and the actresses who played Linda (Kiarra Hogan), Tina (Natalie Peyton) and Heather, doing a great job.
IMO one of the major flaws of the film was the final girl being miscast. Heather was the perfect final girl for the film and the actress who played her, (Elyse Bigler), is one of the most physically capable and athletic slasher chicks of all time (as well as one of the cutest).
The humor was on point and not overdone. The killer had a unique costume that worked well and the physicality to make the violence believable. The kills were standard slasher fare, which is a compliment. No need to put "avocado on the burger" (Silent Night) as they say. More suspense and atmosphere, perhaps a more ominous score and this would get a couple of bumps up and be about as good as it can get for a genre that is extremely well defined.
Won't go through the scenes as it has been well reviewed already. Just giving it a big thumbs up to those searching the reviews to see if it's a throwback slasher worth a watch.
Yes it is, put it on !
Vampire Journals (1997)
A Dark Gothic Classic!
Beginning with the haunting sound of a single piano, as scene after scene of a dark, foreboding, snow swept cemetary fill the screen, this movie sets a high standard for the dark, gothic Eastern European vampire genre.
Though the dialogue is a bit thin in some parts, Ash & Zachary team up to create some of the most memorable and haunting lines of the genre. A must see for any vampire lover !