oblio-8 Reviews

Mr. Malcolm's List (2022)

Hallmark does Regency

[2/10 · 21 February 2023]

I suspect the movie's producers were trying to make a Bridgerton clone, but ended up with a period version of a Hallmark Christmas movie instead. No tension, no surprises, no pacing...nothing's really at stake, just plodding along for two hours to the conclusion everyone knows is coming.

Everything in the movie - script, costuming, cinematography - is merely adequate. Nobody involved in the production gave any more effort than necessary, and it shows. Which is unfortunate, because the basic plot has a lot of promise.

If you like Hallmark romances, you'll enjoy this movie...like them, it's a slice of comfort food. Otherwise, there's nothing to recommend it.

Just Married (2003)

Nothing to like in this movie

[1/10 · 9 September 2007]

The supporting cast of the movie largely consists of one-dimensional stereotypes (WASPs have silly pet names! Chinese people talk funny!) -- but, sadly, they're more amusing than the lead parts.

Ashton Kutcher's Tom is an uncultured dimbulb -- but he makes up for that by being petulant, whiny, selfish, and short-tempered. His wife says that she loves him, but it's hard to understand why -- apart from a nice smile, he has nothing to recommend him.

Most of the gags in the movie are third-rate retreads of other Americans-in-Europe movies (They have tiny cars! French people are snooty!). Amazingly, this is actually a worse entry to the genre than "National Lampoon's European Vacation".

The best metaphor for the movie is the tiny car the couple drive when they arrive in Europe. It's slow-moving, underpowered, and you'll wish you hadn't rented it. (Oh, and it's not a place you'd like to be trapped with Ashton Kutcher).

The Prestige (2006)

Enjoyable but ultimately silly -- disappointing ending

[6/10 · 4 March 2007]

There are some fine performances in this movie, especially those by David Bowie and Michael Caine. It has a good plot (somewhat spoiled by the confusing flashback-within-a-flashback direction) and some good character studies. But the whole house of cards falls down when the story introduces the ludicrous notion that Tesla invented a machine that could replicate an entire human being -- including clothes and memories? Apart from the fact that it's unbelievable, it causes two problems in the narrative. First, it introduces a deus ex machina, which the Subtle Fiction Writers' Workshop defines as a no-no. Worse, it changes the entire milieu of the movie in mid-stream. Up to that point, we are in the realm of Victorian magic -- no matter what appears to have happened, everything is governed by physical laws. Rather than find a good way for Angier to best Borden, the writers use the cheap narrative trick of allowing Angier to simply step outside the laws of physics.

Since the ending of the film depends on rather clumsy narrative sleight-of-hand, it's hard to swallow...and thus hard to rate this movie as great, instead of just good.

Prime (2005)

Streep gets a 10

[3/10 · 1 July 2006]

I'm guessing that Meryl Streep is on screen for about 30% of the movie, so that part gets a 10. Anything else, zip.

Anytime she's not there, the movie just deflates. There's almost no chemistry between the romantic leads, and they're given chunky, clunky dialog to boot. (Uma Thurmann has never been a great actress, but she had no chance with this writing.) It's hard to care whether or not they Make It Work.

And what's with Morris? Any of the subplots with this misogynistic moron add nothing to the movie, and just give the audience less of a reason to like the character of David.

The movie should have been set entirely in the psychologist's office, alternating scenes with her patient and her son. Cheaper to make, and it would have allowed Meryl Streep more room to develop the comedy.

Ladies in Lavender (2004)

Fine performances, but plot less and plodding

[4/10 · 1 July 2006]

Sort of a low-budget Merchant-Ivory knockoff -- all of the pretense and glacial pacing, but without the lush cinematography. Judi Dench and Maggie Smith are top-notch, as is Miriam Margolyes, but the movie has nowhere to go. David Warner is wasted as an underdeveloped character.

The directing is inconsistent, with inexplicable fades and slo-mo shots popping up at inappropriate times (Look at me, ma, I'm directing!). The sole bit of dramatic tension comes from waiting for the doctor to do something out of jealousy...and that turns out to be a MacGuffin, of almost no consequence.

If you're looking for a Quaint English Seaside Village movie (hasn't this genre pretty much been done to death), try Bill Forsyth's 'Local Hero' (okay, technically it's Scotland). More humor and, even better, some genuine warmth.

The Matrix (1999)

Overrated

[1/10 · 16 April 2002]

What can you say about a movie where Laurence Fishburne (the poor man's Samuel L. Jackson) is the most exciting character? It's hard to know who the good guys are...the personality-deficient Agents, or the personality-deficient Neo.

Lots and lots of flashy special effects and pretty people in trendy outfits, and too much hard-to-swallow plot made this a pretty dull viewing.

In ten years, this one will just be like "Cleopatra"...high budget, but with no lasting qualities.