Change Your Image
akasch-2
Reviews
Run Ronnie Run (2002)
Great material! Just release it already!
American comedy is practically dead now. Hollywood has stripped it of all intelligence and originality, has softened it up for the masses and now uses it as nothing more than a vehicle for overpaid one-trick ponies. Even underground comedies suck now. They're made by untalented cult-filmmaker-wannabes who throw out a bunch of obscene gross-out humor without anything the least bit clever or subversive.
In these dark ages of mind-scathingly unfunny films like 'Austin Powers' and 'The Underground Comedy Movie,' we need something that turns around the genre. We need a film that's offensive AND satirical...something completely unapologetic...a film that pulls no punches...
'Run Ronnie Run' IS that film!
Bob & David are among the few people who still know how to deliver humor and this movie showcases some of their very best stuff. They themselves may not like it (I personally think they're just jaded from the bad experience of making it), but it really is brilliant work. Sure, around the mid-section the story slightly descends a bit into a stereotypical comedy plot. But the humor works, the film remains fun and Bob & David still manage to be really subversive with the material.
Yea, it may not be 100% what B&D wanted...they may have been forced to make compromises and cut some jokes here and there...but they still wound up with one of the funniest films in nearly a decade. We're living in a plague and 'Ronnie Ronnie Run' is the vaccine. I don't care what cut they have...JUST RELEASE THE DAMN THING!
It's not like people won't like this!
Dagon (2001)
The first H.P. Lovecraft movie
While it's not technically the *first* Lovecraft film, "Dagon" still has the honor of being the first actual adaption of one of his stories, rather than existing in the 'Lovecraft-inspired' genre.
I think I speak for everyone when I say that a good straight-forward Lovecraft film has been a long time coming. Sure, "Re-Animator" was a great quirky homage, but we've also suffered through more "Unnammables" and "Lurking Fears" than one can point a shotgun at!
Adapted from "The Shadow Over Innsmouth," this film actually does justice to Lovecraft's rich universe. Die-hard fans will no doubt go nuts when they see that every bit of the 'Deep Ones' mythos has been preserved. "Dagon" also marks the first time Cthulu is ever mentioned in a film (unless you count "Cthulu Mansion." Heh heh.)
While it doesn't contain the high production values needed to properly execute every aspect of Lovecraft, the film still looks damn good considering it's microscopic budget. This is the best looking Lovecraft film we're apt to see, as Hollywood won't touch this material with a ten-foot pole.
Sure, a few of the elements look cheap and the acting delivers its share of ham (does anyone understand a word Pablo Rabal is saying?!?!), but Stuart Gordon still succeeds in making "Dagon" an entertaining (and sometimes creepy) foray into one of history's greatest horror authors.
Ringu 0: Bâsudei (2000)
The best prequel ever made.
George Lucas, take note...
Ring 0 should be used as a textbook for anyone attempting a prequel.
It explains small questions and details, brings about new revelations, and wraps the entire series up in a perfect package - bringing the entire Sadako mythology up to epic proportions.
There is a different director this time around and that's a good thing. While the first two films were very dark and raw, Ring 0 is more character driven and cinematic (the visuals are very Argento-esque). That's not to say that these qualities subtract from the horror! There are some truly scary moments in this film and the finale is as terrifying as it gets (hint: Sadako's not confined to the TV anymore!)
Some people don't like this installment because of the change of direction and a certain plot twist (the Sadako twin backstory makes more sense than it sounds). Give it a chance! You won't be disappointed!
Stray Dogs (2001)
Emotional pornography
"Stray Dogs" is probably the most unbearable 90 minutes of slow-plotted, cliche-ridden material and stereotypes ever committed to celluloid.
The plot goes like a feminist version of a John Steinbeck book: A tired southern mother struggles to raise her two wild children and stay in a marriage to an alcoholic husband.
If the story sounds tired, so is every scene and line of dialogue. We've seen all these characters before - from the dedicated/independent house-wife to the abusive, redneck father in his giant truck. The director obviously spent her entire time pulling realistic performances from the actors, but forgot to inject anything unique into their characters (let alone the story).
The last 20 minutes feature the "drunk father stereotype" brandishing a shotgun and ranting about the books of the Bible, while wife and sister try to get through the night safely. This is neither intense or moving, as you're just waiting for the inevitable "powerful death scene" to send the audience bursting into tears when the credits roll.
The director claimed she chose this film from a play to pay homage to the old Tennessee Williams stories...but after viewing the film, it seems more like an obvious excuse for working with the most unoriginal material ever written.
The results are a boring Hollywood flick with emotions in place of explosions.
Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
Who's responsible for these endings?!?! ARRRRGHH!!!
Just like "House on Haunted Hill" this is a really dark, cool, scary horror flick that's a lot of fun...but then the ending comes along and totally screws up everything!
Like in the end of "House" (spoiler warning) the "good-guy-turned-ghost character" saves the day, the main characters escape certain doom, and the last shot shows the "wise-crackin' black character" telling lame jokes...even though she was almost butchered five seconds earlier. THIS IS THE LAST THING I WANT TO SEE IN THE END OF A HORROR FILM!
The Dark Castle movies seem to be taking all these risks, but it's all run right into a brick wall at the end, providing us with a half-fast cop-out commercial substitute.
You know what's worse than a bad movie? A great one that self-destructs at the end! The producers at Dark Castle need to be stopped, before they can make another good horror movie and run it into the ground!
Ghosts of Mars (2001)
TURN YOUR DAMN BRAIN OFF!!!
Reading all the backlash over "Ghosts of Mars," I can't help but think this movie was shown to the WRONG CROWD.
This is John Carpenter at his most brainless and he doesn't want to do anything but entertain! It's such a relief to see a movie that dives head first into it's subject matter and doesn't try to be something it's not.
I mean, Ice Cube is chopping up evil zombie minions of a guy named Big Daddy Mars, while the director plays trash metal on his guitar in the background! What's not to love?!?!?!
Ya wanna use yer brain? Go see Omega Code 2!
Faust: Love of the Damned (2000)
Wonderful and terrible! The best of both world!
"Faust" manages to do something no other film in the history of the world has ever done...
To be both genuinely cool and unintentionally hilarious at the same time!!!
This flick has all the great elements of classic Brian Yuzna: Supernatural overtones, quirky characters, cults, gore, nudity...and Jeffrey Combs! In these dark days of Hollywood censorship and moral rectitude, it's nice to see a flick that doesn't skimp on the gruesome details (although the R-rated version is cut to hell!).
Even though this "hero back from hell" comic book story is nothin' new, it manages to still pull some surprises and definitely doesn't cop out. The ending ritual sequence is INCREDIBLE and Andrew Divoff actually shines in this movie!
That said, the worst and maybe greatest thing about "Faust" is Yuzna's MAJOR MISTAKE in casting Mark Frost as the lead. It's impossible not to laugh at Frost's performance as he sticks out his lower lip and moans "I believe in nothing" every other sentence. His emotional breakdowns in particular will leave you in stitches! Frost looks even more ludicrous when he dons the overly-rubbery Faust outfit and tries to play the "tortured super-hero" by spouting one-liners and leaping around like a GWAR reject.
With all these elements meshed together, you've got one truly unique B-flick. But don't rent the American R-rated version...search around the net for the un-rated Brazilian cut. It's well worth it!
The 11th Hour (1995)
Decent follow-up
While not nearly as good as the original, The 11th Hour is a decent sequel with a good storyline, fair acting, and rich atmosphere. Some of the puzzles are a little too hard, but that's why they have a hint system. Another good performance by Stauf, too!
Stir of Echoes (1999)
Best thriller of the decade
In the giant wave of recent supernatural thrillers, "Stir of Echos" really came out on top. Superior even to "The Sixth Sense" this amazingly crafted horror film knows all the weak spots of the audience and jabs at them over and over with some of the most nightmarish images and realistic dream sequences ever filmed. In a genre full of copycats and duds, it's nice to see a film that gets *everything* right.
Watch it on a good sound system to get the full effect. 9/10.