Garys1266 Reviews

Courageous (I) (2011)

Davey and Goliath, but with More Action

[2/10 · 12 May 2012]

I caught this movie on Starz the other evening as it was listed under drama. Overly dramatic nd extremely religious should have been more like it.

The movie starts off with a good action scene, but goes straight downhill and fast from there. What happens from here on in is a spoon feeding of trite dramas that seem to take place one after the other. The actors, and I use the term actors lightly, then of course continuously play the victims/martyrs, and not very well I might add.

Religion then becomes the main focus in the film.

We seem to aimlessly go from one drama to the next in this disaster of a film. First a car jacking by evil drug infested gang members in rural Georgia of all places, they deal so much drugs, kilos according to the gang leader, that the state police and or the federal authorities are not even involved, yea right. We are then introduced to a stereotypical Mexican who is constantly struggling to find menial labor who prays to Jesus in the hopes of finding employment. Miraculously moments after he prays he finds work, HALLELUJIA!!!! We then find out that one of the families that lose a daughter to a drunk driver while dad mopes around with the family feeling sorry for himself. I shouldn't have let her go to the birthday party, I should have danced with her in the parking lot oh boo hoo. I felt like throwing up quite frankly.

The men then make a pact to become heads of their households by becoming mini Jesuses. Because as you know women can never assume any type of leadership role in their families as it may cause their husband's penises to mysteriously shrink.

The men begin expounding how great they are and what great roles models they now that they are teaching their family about Jesus Christ and reading the Bible to their families.

Then one of the fathers who is a police officer and GASP gets caught stealing drug evidence. He ends up in prison, but apparently he is no longer a mini Jesus because of his crime.

The movie finally wraps up with one of the fathers at the pulpit in church giving a speech that made my head spin. I think if I were one of the audience members in the church I would have been rolling my eyes and yawning and possibly even sleeping. I felt like saying, look with get the message for cripe sakes, you don't need to beat me over the head to get it.

A very trite movie, I wish that I could get those 2 hours back.

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Why Do We Have to Turn Every Film into a Romance Film?

[3/10 · 30 August 2010]

Pearl Harbor was a significant event in American history. One interesting enough without the addition of soap opera melodrama stuck in the middle of the film.

I should have turned it off during the very cheesy champagne scene. Too bad the cork didn't penetrate Affleck's skull and kill him right then and there.

I mean really, did we need the added melodrama of a "torn between two lovers" plot? How trite. "Rafe I really love her". Well duh, you boned her and now she is having your child, I hope that is the case. Wouldn't the attack on Pearl Harbor been enough drama to concentrate on? Too bad too, the CGI effects of the attack were actually quite palatable. Instead we have to endure blubbering females in a Naval hospital in the midst of the attack screaming "oh no what do I do?". What do you think you should do? Maybe attempt to save some lives?

Then of course we have the ending where of course Dudley Do Right wins the good looking female after the dopey looking male that knocked up the good looking female dies in a Chinese field. How utterly convenient.

Thankfully I didn't pay to see this rubbish in the theaters.

Astro Boy (2009)

Nothing New Here {***spoiler alert***)

[2/10 · 17 October 2009]

I received free passes for my wife and 2 kids and we saw the sneak preview today in Tyson's Corner VA. Let me just say thankfully it was free. Save your money folks, there is nothing new to see here.

Let me start off by saying that great films make you feel something for a character, that goes for any character in a film. The way you pulled for WALL-E to be with Eva, the way you pulled for Shrek to end up with Princess Fiona. Please read on.

Here is a boy that is killed at the beginning of the movie and his scientist father recreates him as Astro Boy. This film has shamelessly ripped off many mini themes from other movies including Wall-E, the Incredibles, Star Wars (see the Stormtrooper like characters that protect the city mayor) and Lord of the Flies/Oliver Twist, see the orphanage scene just to name a few.

The bright spots are some attempts albeit lame attempts, to place a cuteness factor into this movie with the addition of a garbage can robot that looks like a dog named Garbage Can, how original, but ultimately the robot/trashcan dog and all of the other characters, including the title character, fail to make it's audience feel anything for any character in this film.

In closing, save your money and rent the film.

Havoc (2005)

Just Plain Horrible....

[2/10 · 7 April 2006]

I just saw this on Starz and where do I start? This was a script right out of those old after school specials. Straight girl ends up on wrong side of tracks.

A few points: - Apparently, it is totally safe for a young white girl to drive through the streets of East LA in a $55,000 Mercedes, a convertible no less without getting car jacked. It is also apparently safe to park that Mercedes convertible with the top down on the street in East LA without having it stolen or stripped.

• Gang members are totally approachable and harmless to outsiders. They even stop having sex with you after you ask them to.

• The acting by the young male "wiggers" was just plain laughable. As if three 17 year old high school boys would actually contemplate confronting gang members with weapons on those gang members home turf no less.

And the point of this movie was? A seemingly intelligent, wealthy girl decides she wants to go to East LA for kicks because she is bored? Here's a clue for kicks sweet cheeks, next time grab daddy's Amex card and just head to Rodeo drive. This movie was not only unbelievable; it was a total waste of both film and time.

Signs (2002)

Terrible

[2/10 · 21 January 2005]

Swing away Merrill, how lame, Gibson remembers to tell this to Phoenix's character after Gibson's flashback to his wife dying in between the car? The fake and contrived "crying" scene at their "last supper"? Gibson's daughter is obsessed with having water in glasses and conveniently we find that water is how to kill the aliens? Maybe the poison didn't enter his son's lungs as he was having an asthma attack? His son survives yet we are to believe that this is some miracle? Lame script and thoroughly boring.

P.S., shame on the writers for the obvious religious undertones in this film.

2 out of 10

Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)

Wow

[8/10 · 21 January 2005]

Let me first say that I am a moderate. All I can say about this film is that while some of the information presented may be a bit far fetched in the presentation, Mooore definitely makes you question this administration and Bush's long standing ties to the Saudis. I also found the 7 minute stare and the "conveniently" manipulated Texas Air Guard records to be of interest. Particularly the blacked out pilot's name that is discovered to be the eventual money manager of the bin Laden family in Texas.

It is easy to see why some Bush supporters find this movie "uncomfortable" I might add. Bush is portrayed in the film as a shallow, inarticulate person a persona that his supporters fight very hard, but unsuccessfully try to overcome. Everyone liberal, conservative, moderate, etc., should see this film, it is a great eye opener.

8 out of 10.

Titanic (1997)

Great film if you lack a college degree

[4/10 · 27 November 2002]

This film must only appeal to a person with the mentality of someone who has gone as far as the 8th grade. If you want to see real film watch Shawshank Redemption or the Godfather. The dialogue in this film is an insult to anyone's intelligence who has went past high school education-wise. The most terrible line in the film? "Jack I'm flying!!!" I felt like saying great keep flying off of the bow of this ship so this movie will end, you obese sow. This movie was very painful. By the way, this film was and is not "awesome" or "way cool" as some have stated. The approving comments below and their lack of grammatical accuracy, just proves that people who like this film are trailer trash who do not have a good grasp on the king's English.

Beautiful Girls (1996)

What would your life have been like if you stayed behind in a small town?

[6 July 2002]

At the beginning of the film, Timothy Hutton's character is coming back home for his high school reunion. How long will he stay? Will he go back to his girlfriend in the big city? Will he become an office equipment salesperson?

As the movie progresses we see Hutton's old high school comrades all stuck back at home in dead end jobs in small town New England with their glory days well behind them. This especially holds true for Dillon's character who was "Joe popular" in high school and is now being "used" by his former high school sweetheart who left Dillon to marry a wealthy man. Yet, the Dillon's ex girlfriend still uses him for sexual purposes from time to time. We actually see the entire cast of male characters in this film evolve (some more than others and as much as certain characters are capable of doing). We see the largest transformation in this film with Hutton's character. Hutton's discovery eventually, is that his current life is actually pretty good and he as a person is a lot better off than if he had stayed in small town New England with his high school cohorts. He accomplishes this transformation with the help of a 13-year-old girl who lives next door and Uma Thurman's character. We also see Dillon discover that he wants a long term commitment with his current girlfriend and the character that plows snow into his ex girlfriends driveway eventually starts removing snow by the movie's end. We also see the aggressive character realize that physical violence is not always the answer and that the man he was going to beat up but did not, was someone's father. There was also the character that had photos of models in his room stating that he wanted to marry someone that looked like that eventually realizing that it probably would not happen. Every male character in this movie "grew up" in this film some to lesser and or greater degrees than others.

Hutton eventually decides to go back to Chicago?, New York? (there were New York license plates on the Saab) with his girlfriend after an altercation on the night of the reunion. One of his friends states, (I can't remember who), as Hutton is leaving the hospital, "we'll all be right here waiting for you if you ever decide to come back and visit". That statement is not hard for the viewer or for Hutton's character to believe. Hutton then walks out of the hospital, leaves the viewer sensing that Hutton is happy that he is moving on, and not "stuck" behind with his less well off high school friends in small town New England. In short, the movie is about personal growth and growing up and then maybe moving on like Hutton's character did.

Charlie's Angels (2000)

Was this movie was supposed to be funny?

[1/10 · 18 May 2001]

This movie simply put is one long boring music video movie fans. It's really a shame that Hollywood script writers are so horrible these days that movie producers have to pack pop music into every minute of a film to make up for lack of dialogue. And what is it with every action movie copying the slow motion Matrix action sequences? All it this film is is one action scene with music to the next with a sexy pose here and there by Barrymore, Diaz and liu.

I thought there was a spec of hope with Bill Murray in this film for an element of comedy, but I came away from this film very disappointed.

The Deep End of the Ocean (1999)

A made for TV movie script that made it to the big screen

[1/10 · 4 February 2001]

I really don't have much to say on this film except that I didn't feel the least bit of sorrow for Pfeiffer or Williams when they lost their son. I really didn't feel anything for any character on any level in this movie.

Let's see Pfeiffer's character spends 9 long years in wallow and self pity for losing her son. She then miraculously finds her son living only 2 blocks away from her, Pfeiffer's character should have played the lotto in the movie with this kind of blind luck. She then instantaneously recognizes him when he comes to ask to mow her lawn (yeah sure). A plethora of police cars then go to retrieve her son. You could swear by all of the police vehicles they are going to go capture a serial killer, but they are just going to get her son back. The police knock on the door only to find the adoptive father has no clue that the boy is not his son and he just allows his adopted son to leave with the police without so much as a threat of legal action!!!! The son then discovers that he has no emotional feelings for his real family two weeks later and Pfeiffer then just allows him to move back in with his adopted father?! What? She abused drugs, neglected her children and she finally finds her son and now she just accepts that he wants to live with his adoptive father? The cedar chest scene was also some of the lamest script writing I've ever witnessed. "Wait, I remember that smell". Yeah kid, it's a cedar chest and the cedar is used to keep moths away. What, did Pfeiffer lock you in the cedar chest when you were 2 years old or something? Let's see the kid didn't remember the stuffed rabbit, but he remembers playing hide and seek in the cedar chest?!

I love Whoopie Goldberg in other movies, but like all of the other characters I did not understand her role either. For example, at the beginning of the movie when Pfeiffer goes to touch her in a gesture of kindness and Whoopie shoots back in her chair. Whoopie then states out of the blue that she is gay and this is the reason for her pulling away from Pfeiffer. Huh???? What relevance does her being gay have anything to do with anything in this movie???? Let's see Whoopie is the head detective and all she spends her time on is finding an abducted child? What, there's no drug dealers or murderers in Chicago?

Save your money at the rental store on this one folks. I've seen some bad made for TV movies that are better than this trash.

The Wedding Planner (2001)

This movie has a great message

[2/10 · 2 February 2001]

Cheat on your fiance and you'll live happily ever after folks!!!! What a great message!!!

A few thoughts on this "movie":

Question, what do you do with your life if you can't find a real job because your IQ is below 80? Become a wedding planner and steal your client's fiance!!!

Cameron, come on you're a wedding planner, not an engineer getting ready to launch the space shuttle at mission control, lose the headset babe, planning weddings IS NOT rocket science.

Why did Steve mis-lead Mary with a night of movies and soul talk when he was already engaged to an obviously smarter person who is better suited to his social circle? Are we not to believe that Mary would not think the same thing could happen to her if she also commited to marrying this louse(Steve)?

Matthew MacConauhey a doctor? PUULLEEASE!!! I only eat brown M&Ms? What medical school did he attend? Jim Bob's Correspondance School of Medicine?

Why would a doctor marry a wedding planner in the first place? I can see it now, Cameron and Matthew at the country club. "Doctor, what a lovely wife you have, and where did your wife go to college"? "Oh, she went to Daisy Duke's Junior College and majored in wedding planning with a minor in basket weaving". "She's now planning on staying at home and becoming a baby factory so we can pollute the world's gene pool with more wedding planners". That'll go over real well in his social circle.

Oh let's see I'm writing this movie script who should I have Cameron Diaz fall in love with? A computer programmer?, no, a plumber?, no, an accountant?, no. I know, I'll write the script to make her fall in love with a rich doctor!!!

This movie is an insult to anyone who has and IQ above 90. Steer clear of it unless your below the age of 16.

Titanic (1997)

A Titanic disaster of a film...

[4/10 · 8 May 2000]

Judging by the grammar of the comments by the people who like this film on this board, all I can say is that these "film critics" must be 13-year-old females. It's a sad commentary on our society that most people who watched this film need a simplistic dialogue to understand a film. The dialogue left nothing to the imagination as it was trying so hard to stereotype everyone in this film. Here's a clue; rich people are not all bad and poor people are not all beer-swilling drunkards. The other stereotype you had was Jack the typical poor, starving artist. Then you had Billy Zane the villain, who was I assume was supposed to act and look like Snidely Whiplash (dark hair, dark clothing) from a Dudley Doright cartoon. I'm surprised they didn't put a moustache on him. And let's not forget Rose's rich up-tight mother (the rich are all uptight and snobbish you know), who is automatically supposed to allow a gambling, low life, starving artist delve right into the family fortune.

The effects were in fact good, but If you need your movie dialogue spoon fed to you, then this is the movie for you.

Notting Hill (1999)

Julia Roberts cannot act...

[1 January 2000]

My wife and I have just finished watching this horribly long, tedious film on Direct TV.

Aside from a few humorous quips from Hugh Grant and his roommate Spike, this was a predictable, typical romantic comedy. Does the general public really enjoy watching boring and mindless females in these sappy love stories (Roberts, Winslet and Bullock)? I cannot recall one memorable line that was uttered from Julia's large mouth (probably one of the reasons that she's so popular with men) in this film.

I also found the relationship between Grant and Roberts totally unbelievable in both the sense that an actress with Roberts IQ would never go for a poor bookstore owner, and that there was just no reason for Roberts to have ever went for Grant in the first place. Let's leave these far fetched romantic "love at first sight" stories to Disney cartoons.

** out of *****

Titanic (1997)

A Titanic loser...

[4/10 · 8 October 1999]

My wife and I have just finished watching, or shall I say wasted our time watching this movie. The script was obviously written or geared towards 13 and 14 year old girls. A few observations:

# 1 Why would a character as shallow and ignorant as the one Winslow portrayed fall for DeCaprio? Should we believe that she would leave Zane's character who is a multi-millionaire? The ignorant character that she portrayed would have never married a homeless painter.

# 2 I have never seen so many stereotypes in one movie. Rich snobbish people, drunken Irish and English people.

# 3 Dolphins do not habitate the North Atlantic.

# 4 When it's 30 degrees outside you can see your breath.

# 5 When it's 30 degrees outside you can't survive in water for more than 3 minutes.

# 6 This movie is a plain and simple cornball. I can see why it isn't in the IMDB top 250 after watching it.

4 stars out of 10 for the special effects.

You've Got Mail (1998)

An unbelievable movie...

[29 July 1999]

Hanks puts Ryan out of business and then Ryan falls in love with him? C'mon moviegoers, let's do a reality check here. Poor movie with very little plot and an unbelievable script. The only thing I can say that is positive is that there was believable chemistry between Hanks and Ryan.

2 stars out of 5

A Perfect Murder (1998)

Boring and predictable...

[4/10 · 8 July 1999]

The only bright spot in this movie was Michael Douglas as the devious husband. Gwyneth Paltrow was her usual awful self and I have yet to see her in a film in which she can act. She was very one dimensional and unbelievable as a supposedly smart, multi-lingual person. I didn't wonder once why her character was being taken by a con artist. The plot was VERY predictable and the movie just seemed to drag along forever. By the time the end came I was thinking just kill Michael Douglas and get this mess over with.

The Ice Storm (1997)

Outstanding...

[2 July 1999]

We need more films like this one. The Ice Storm takes you on a tumultuous ride through the lives of 2 early 70's suburban neighboring families grasping to regain the values that they have abandoned. We are put right in the middle of the sexual revolution in a northeastern town on a Thanksgiving weekend in 1973.

Kevin Kline gives another brilliant performance and his affair with Sigourney Weaver is very believable. Christina Ricchi also does a fantastic job as Kline's daughter turning to sex to find the love and comfort that she can't get from her parents.

This is a thinking person's film and the way the story is tied together is brilliant. The scripting and the casting was also very good and believable. Hollywood needs more films like this that make us sit back and take a look at our own lives.

Wild Wild West (1999)

Wild Wild terrible...

[2/10 · 1 July 1999]

Yet another film that has to use special effects and blatant comedy to cover up a bad plot and a terrible script. Save your $7 on this one folks. By the way, does Hollywood think that the only people that go to movies are 13 and 14 year old adolescents? Because movies of late are being made for this genre of people.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

A decent film that already has continuity problems...

[5/10 · 30 June 1999]

The film was decent, but not great. I wish OB1 would have mis-handled his light saber and took Jar Jar's head off but that didn't happen, oh well.

The effects were great and the little boy who portrayed Anakin did a great job. Liam Neeson and Ewan MagGregor also did a fine.

I found the plot to be a bit weak. C'mon a 10 year old boy building a droid and a pod racer and he's supposed to be a slave? There also exist some continuity problems that Lucas will have to address such as Anakin Skywalker cannot be an only child, as Luke Skywalker lived with his aunt and uncle's farm on Tatooine in the first movie. I found the pod racing scene to be a bit weak also, I read another comment on this board about the scene being stolen from Ben Hur I concur with that assessment. I also find it interesting that technology goes backwards in this film. Robots fighting in this movie as opposed to stormtroopers who are humans 60 years later?

Maybe the smartest thing for directors to do would be to stop trying to make sequels and prequels. The only reason Lucas did this for was the greenback and his latest "effort" and I use that term lightly, shows this all too clearly.

6 out of 10 stars

The Avengers (1998)

A thinking person's film...

[30 June 1999]

If you went to this movie expecting True Lies or any other moronic modern action film you are not going to like this film.

Yes audience you actually had to listen to the dialogue in this film. The scripting was brilliant, subtle British humor existed between Finnes and Thurman all you had to do was listen. No, listen to a film?!!! NOT THAT!!! We want action!!!! It was very true to the Avengers TV show of the 60's.

It just goes to show you that unfortunately directors and writers have to whack American audiences in the head with blatant humor and drama to make an audience enjoy a film. It's no wonder that the arts (plays, musicals etc.) are suffering, 95% of Americans no longer have any idea of what good film is. Case in point, look at how well Titanic did last year.

Titanic (1997)

Boy wins trip on titanic, poor boy meets rich girl, They fall in love, ship sinks...

[4/10 · 11 June 1999]

Please don't think I am just a male coming here to bombard Titanic. My wife and I watched it together on HBO the other evening and she concurs with me about the following summary.

Why did James Cameron need 3 hours to tell this story? This was one of the longest and most tedious films I have ever watched. The contrived storyline was incredibly dull and unbelieveable. Come on folks do you really think Winslet would have fallen in love with baby faced DiCaprio in real life? Like a shallow character like Winslet would have left a millionaire for a person that doesn't even have a home. Also, DiCaprio would have been never invited to dinner from steerage. Above all of that there was no chemistry that existed between DiCaprio and Winslet. As far as the effects were concerned. I don't know what all the hype was as the effects looked very fake. Granted I watched it on my TV on HBO and not at the movies mind you. Thank God I did watch it at home I would have been very angry at myself if my wife and I had spent 7 dollars to see this film. I agree with the other negative comments on this board. People who say this is good film, don't know what good film is. Try watching Casablanca and you will understand my character chemistry comment above.

Boogie Nights (1997)

A brilliantly scripted and acted film...

[9/10 · 9 June 1999]

Everyone that sees this movie has to chuckle at all of the characters. Take a bunch of ignorant porn stars who forget what they are there for, to make smut, and they all end up taking themselves way too seriously as actors. For example when Dirk started thinking he was the second coming of bond as Brock Landers and when Buck, the black porn star went to the bank to get a loan and called himself an actor to the loan officer. Also notice how Dirk was practicing his lines in the first porn scene as if the lines really mattered anyway. I also noticed how much Amber wanted to be a mother figure having lost her real children in a custody battle. She first turns to Dirk, Dirk then leaves and she takes Rollergirl as her "child". The coke scene Where Rollergirl states to Amber, "Amber will you be my mom?"

The most brilliant scenes were when Dirk was in the recording studio trying to do some Loverboy rip-off act and the drug scene gone bad at the end "die you puppies!!!!!!!". What amazes me is that these actors were able to all act as ignorant as they appeared in the film.

Everything works out at the end though and Jack Horner ends up being the good guy taking everyone back who helped him in the beginning. Even though they were virtual losers in every other aspects of their lives, although outcasts maybe a better description. An example of Jack Horner's charity the next time you watch the film, is when Jack allows Buck to install a stereo hi-fi system even though Jack doesn't show much interest in the hi-fi system. Jack Horner at the end of the film if you notice, becomes some type of paternal figure to all of these people taking them all back in as though hey are some tight knit family.

9 out of 10

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Smokey and the Bandit (1977)

Brain bubblegum

[27 May 1999]

Pop some popcorn, sit back and turn off your brain for this one. This is a movie made for purely for entertainment, especially Jackie Gleason who did a fantastic job portraying the stereotypical redneck sheriff. Was Burt Reynolds in love with himself or what?

Script 5/10, acting except for Gleason 6/10, plot 7/10

overall 6/10

A Night at the Roxbury (1998)

A funny movie...

[7/10 · 25 May 1999]

Who hasn't gone clubbing and not seen 2 "swingin' single guys" in love with themselves like the 2 young men portrayed in this film? I went to college in the 80's and you could always guarantee you would see 2 guidos like this in any bar that you went to. The only problem is that the 2 characters in the movie weren't driving a Trans Am with a gold emblem on the hood like the people I used to run into in the 80's. Bravo to the script and to the soundtrack for taking me back to my "clubbing" days in the 80's.

The American President (1995)

A great film

[25 May 1999]

I recently saw this movie on TV and it is brilliantly directed and acted especially by Benning. Benning shows a very realistic passion about the issues for which she is fighting for. Sheen and Douglas also do a great job in making 2 characters with a long standing friendship very believable. Michael J. Fox played the stereotypical intellectual yuppie (George Stephanopolis perhaps?) and I am getting tired from seeing Back to the Future Boy in this type of role. You also have to appreciate the part played by Richard Dreyfuss (Bob Runson) as the typical out of touch Republican presidential candidate. I loved the line "My name is Bob Runson, and I'm running for president" and then Michael Douglas says "Thanks for clearing that up for us Bob, I thought you were trying to sell us all Amway products".

In summary America needs more of these feel good about America movies. I thought it was a surprising treat.

Brilliantly written, brilliantly casted, brilliantly directed and decently acted.

*** 1/2 out of ****