nomercy Reviews

Splice (2009)

There are monsters

[6/10 · 24 January 2021]

There is only one monster in this story. Elsa. Enough said?

The Signal (2014)

Looked interesting and did not disappoint

[7/10 · 5 November 2014]

OK, the early scenes were a bit trite and tiresome. Of course they had to enter an abandoned house in the middle of the desert at night. How cliché. After that, though, it gets really interesting and gripping. At no time was I able to predict the twists in the plot, and none of those twists caused me to go "Oh, C'mon, really?". Each development of the plot seemed believable (within the context of a sci-fi movie) and consistent. You are slowly drawn into a nightmarish world where nothing is what it seems, there is a semblance of normality but is only a veneer that can be easily scratched. The main character was not heroic, but a pretty bright person with good powers of observation, which continually told him there was something fundamentally wrong with the whole situation. I was very impressed at how the development of the central theme held my attention and kept me guessing and asking for more. And the end, wow! that alone was worth the wait. Great story and well presented.

Mrs. Brown's Boys (2011– )

A slightly vulgar version of Faluty Towers but equally brilliant

[8/10 · 19 November 2012]

Being a fan of Faulty Towers, which I consider the best TV comedy series of all time, I was leery when my son suggested I watch "Mrs Brown's boys". I was blown away by the sheer hilarity of the show. I could not stop laughing long enough at one gag when the next one hit. I had to take a painkiller after the show to mitigate the pain of laughing so hard. Even the unseen dog is funny! The bad language (hence my comment of vulgarity in the summary) actually gets a bit lost among all the gags, great lines and situations, to the pint that it becomes hardly noticeable. And it is clear it is not used for the sheer shock, but as a part of the character's personality, since it is mostly Mrs Brown who uses the f word the most. Don't waste time, watch it. If you don't laugh, check for a pulse.

RED (2010)

It's the actors, stupid!

[10/10 · 20 January 2012]

WARNING, may contain spoilers. Malkovich, Malcovich, Malkovich. WOW! He simply steals the show. Did you notice that he is ALWAYS right when he wants to kill someone? Everyone is sooo flippant about the situation it actually comes off as brutally funny. My sons and I actually watched it four nights in a row, because we kept discovering details previously missed. Like "the Party" a lot is going on in the background that can only be noticed in multiple viewings. Pure silliness of a story, but the script and the delivery of the lines are simply outstanding. Simple, unfiltered, unmitigated fun. Next time you watch it, check out the background action. I also liked the nice subtle expressions by Karl Urban. Simply good acting.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)

Great performances, not so good movie (some spoilers below)

[5/10 · 9 January 2012]

Having seen the BBC series of this book, it is difficult to cut a break to a 2 hour movie. And I don't intend to. Peter Jackson realized that TLOTR could not be made into a single 2 or 3-hour movie, similarly the director of this film should have realized that 4 hours would be a minimum to convey such a complex film, but 4 hours of slow pace would not have sold well at the box office, at least in North America, where attention spans and intellectual prowess of the movie-going public is akin to that of a dead slug. The performances in general are very, very good. It is clear that many of the actors have seen the BBC production as some performance snippets are almost exactly as the series. Not a bad idea. The plot is disconcerting as there are changes from the book that simply do not make sense. why move it from "Cheko" to Hungary? I see no value to it. Why move it from a forest cottage to the middle of a city? This one really does not make sense. If you are planning a clandestine meeting (or kidnapping) you don't set the meeting up at a café in a bazaar. Control died, not quit, and Smiley was turfed, not resigned. No value in that change either. Tarr did not call Lacon, but Guillam, and he never went to Smiley directly. It would have been a gaff of colossal proportions since Smiley was one of the suspects so this is another senseless change. The minister was NEVER directly involved. None of these changes seem to add anything to the story except set it apart from the Brit mini-series. Another problem is continuity. Unless you have read the book, you will not make any sense of the story. no scene comes to any rational conclusion, but is left for the viewer to magically figure out what it was about and what happened in between before the next scene. The title of the story is central to the actual plot as it sets the stage for Control's private enterprise, but is casually mentioned in the film.And what is it with the party scenes...?

I read that LeCarre was impressed with the script. Doubt it unless he has gone dotty. The whole key to the story are the Cheko scandal and the Irina story, both of which are glossed over far too quickly. Nonetheless, John Hurt makes a great Control and Gary Oldman a great Smiley. If you have not read the book and can follow the story, big kudos to you. If you have read the books, you will be somewhat disappointed with the watering down of such a suspenseful story.

Venus (I) (2006)

O'Toole has an Oscar and a big one.

[5/10 · 3 September 2009]

Firstly, regarding the comments from "brocksilvey", they are very good except for the part that O'Toole should get an Oscar before he dies. It is important to note that O'Toole has won an Oscar. In 962 he won for Lawrence of Arabia, which is probably one of the best films ever made and he certainly gave a great performance.

I also agree that he was magnificent in "The Lion in Winter".

Now regarding "Venus". I did not like this movie subject matter, (a bit too dark for me). Nonetheless, I certainly appreciate the performances of both young and seasoned actors. It gets across the sense of loss that people who have lived in the limelight experience when they are no longer the center of attention. Also it exposes the general abandonment that many older people suffer as their friends and family of like-age begin to die. However, this movie does it without the usual over-the-top melodrama usually associated with "golden" age movies. Nor does it astray into unrealistic "old people can do anything" nonsense.

Well balanced and very well performed.

King Solomon's Mines (2004)

Another carcass to the pile of bones for this title

[2/10 · 14 July 2008]

OK. Not bad movie making if it were from an original script. BUT IT IS NOT!

Which part of "in this story there are no women, except for Foulata and Gagoola" introduction by Haggard did the producers, directors and writers not understand? I mean, it is pretty plain English. I understood it at age 10!. The beauty of KSM is that it contains a spectacular description of three different worlds, the colonial Africa, the unforgiving desert and Kukuanaland, a hidden and isolated kingdom. That should be more than enough for even the most mediocre of producers to work with. But, nooo, they have to throw "romance" into it. Pathetic. Suggestion to all you poor souls who actually thought this would be close to the book. Give it up. Until a Peter Jackson wannabe comes along and "does it right" you may as well keep re-reading the tome. BTW, there is a sequel book (actually a pre-quel) called Allan's wife. It gives background to the story of Quatermain. It is a bit creepy but good.

Eragon (2006)

Lord of the rings wannabe.

[3/10 · 20 February 2007]

My children would enjoy it but would still tear it apart. I felt that this was like the Lord of The Rings, except that in this movie the screen writer DID NOT READ THE BOOKS!! C'Moon guys! The bad guys were parody copies of Sauron, Saruman, the wraiths and the Uruks. It is blatantly obvious even to my grandmother that there are huge holes in the story. (and my grandmother is dead). Poor Jeremy Irons. There is only so much even a great actor can do with a dead and rotting horse of a story. The dragon stole the movie. That should tell you everything. This one ranks at about the same level as First Knight and Plan Nine from Outer Space. Too bad, as with many movies, this one had a lot of potential and none of it was realized.

Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Latest release is sooo much better.

[9/10 · 25 September 2006]

Anyone commenting on this movie based on the "theatrical" release, should re-review it based on the "director'sc" cut. What a difference when pathetic pinheads do not interfere with the editing. From the first time I saw the "theatrical" release, it felt incomplete, with such obvious voids and gaps that could not be explained. I just bought the extended version and it is a completely different movie. The whole story flows and is now rational. Previously incoherent or truncated scenes are now complete and make sense. If you liked it in its original form, you will love it in its complete form. As with many such movies, precision in terms of history or scholarliness is not so important as the message conveyed. This should be a must-see for all fanatics-in-waiting to realize that the hate they carry with them is manufactured by others for their selfish purposes. The other key message is that each of us is ultimately responsible for our actions and we will be judged by those actions and not by the excuses we make for them.

First Knight (1995)

Even worse than I previously had commented

[1 August 2002]

When Shakespeare enriched the English language about half a millennium ago, he could not possibly have conceived such a putrid object being created by humanity, and as such he, understandably, did not create a word loathful enough to describe this portion of fecal matter.

I accidentally stumbled upon it two nights ago, and in an act of desperate boredom, I watched a few minutes of it.

The monumental waste of talent in Ben Cross and Sean Connery is offensive. The only performance that belongs in this "movie" is that of Richard Geere, whose ability to under-perform actually slips him below that of the script for lack of quality.

His acting talent and this film substitute are made for each other.

There should be a warning issued before and during the presentation of this...thing, something like the warnings we get for good movies..." Warning, this movie may actually fail to stimulate enough of your brain cells sufficiently to sustain life. Viewer discretion is adviced. If your IQ is greater than your 2 year-old's shoe size, avoid watching this "film" without a defirbulator machine nearby"

This movie is like a cheap wine. it is excellent for putting down in some very dark place and avoiding.

Rollerball (2002)

It makes attack of the killer tomatoes look like oscar winner

[26 February 2002]

Noxom of Cologne is waaay too kind to this piece of trash.

My 7 year old could have done better.

Let's see...

sound track (noise track actually) drowns every other noise/sound including dialog (bunch of unconnected words actually)I was actually reaching for a dial to fine tune the signal, as it sounded like a radio on a bad frequency.

Editing. Well, I think the director and editor used a veg-o-matic to cut, and the munchkins from the Wizard of Oz did the pasting.

Talent. Jean Reno (totally wasted talent on this...thing)

Talent, other.. well... none

If you wish to enjoy Roller Ball, stick to the original 1975 version. It is not dated and it is a movie.

This thing seems to have been conceived by Eddie Kruger on a bad hair day. Star rating? yeah right. I give it 10 black holes.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

They did it, I'll be dammed if they didn't actually do it

[1 February 2002]

Filled all my expectations, including leaving out tom bombadil, which I thought was somewhat irrelevant unless you had read the Silmarillion and the guide to middle earth.

Some things out of sequence from the book, but for very valid reasons.

Anyone whinning about it, let's see you do better!

The Party (1968)

It's the little things...

[1 February 2002]

Other members have covered most of the plot and most of the funny scenes. What seems to be missing are all the little asides that are always taking place. This requires multiple viewings, as there are many things happening in the background while we are focussed on the main theme of the scene. I will not give it a way, except for the one that I like most (spoiler coming).

Notice how any time a disaster happens, Hrundi is ALWAYS on the far side of the pool when the climax takes place...

There are lots of tidbits like this one that can only be noticed once we have seen the movie and we can focus on the background.

by the way. Why is this movie not dated?

Simple, like a good suit or an elegant dress, quality never goes out of style.

Cheers

Immortal Beloved (1994)

Another diamond mistaken for cubic zirconium (by the "experts")

[18 January 2000]

For those of you who have indicated that the critics did not like this movie, I have the equivalent of Assimov's 3 laws of robotics. I call them the 3 laws of movie critics.

Law #1- Those who can act , act. Those who can't, become critics

Law #2- An actor-cum-critic's dislike for a film or performance is directly proportional to the quality of the performance.

Law #3- A film is truly bad only, and only if YOU don't like it.

Now that we settled that little issue, this movie is in my obnoxiously humble opinion, FAAAAABULOUS.

WARNING; MAJOR PLOT SPOILER IN THE NEXT PARAGRAPH

Of course the nephew comes into the picture forcefully. Anyone with cranial activity during the movie would have picked up on the fact that he was his son, making his struggle all the more ironic and heartbreaking.

But this film, like its kindred, Amadeus, is about the music. How a desperate soul finds expression and relief for its pain not in "tagging" buildings, or raping and pillaging, but in creating some of the most moving music we have ever heard.

Anyone with a pulse above cryogenic storage speed will be moved by this film and its message of hope and redemption, because in the end, all human struggles, trials and tribulations boil down to that, redemption. Have we left a good memorable mark on the world?

1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992)

A little education goes a long way...

[17 January 2000]

For those of us coming from "under-developed" countries in Latin-America, this movie hits home, and simply puts faces to the history we learned in grades 1, 2 and 3. Since back home we study world history, (which, surprise, surprise, is not the same as North-American history) this story is not new, but it is grandly and eloquently told. First, a quick history lesson. At the time of Columbus, everybody with any kind of education knew that the world was not flat, and that it went around the sun. They just could not say it aloud without strong evidence, or they could become the next central-square roast, literally. Gallileo had already proven this quite a while before, and for that he was placed under house arrest... for the rest of his life. So, when telling his son that IT was round, CC was not talking about the orange, dah, but about the world, as evidenced by the slowly disappearing ship. So Columbus knew that he would not fall of the edge of the world, but also he was not very good at math..., miscalculating the distance (or did he?)to be traveled. Lucky for him America (the continent, not the "country") was there.

Anyway, like a good meal, which is best enjoyed with a little wine, this movie is best enjoyed with a little culture.

And yes, I think Vangelis did a superb job on the score.

And no, Tom Cruise...(Your Eminence, YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH...) and Silvester Stallone (Yoh, Isabella...)would not have been quite right for the part...

The Mission (1986)

Superb telling of how christians' interpretations of the ten commandments can vary

[17 January 2000]

This movie, more than most I have ever seen, demonstrates graphically, and accurately (from a normal, human point of view, not academician), the net result of the union of fanaticism and greed, where one compliments the other. Where the tyrants and plunderers go, the frock soon follows, (or is it the other way around?) De Niro's character demonstrates how true faith is the result of enlightment, not coertion, self-affirmation, not self-negation. And Jeremy Iron's character represents the true calling of priesthood: Self sacrifice, surrender to the work of healing and loving.

Even the land itself, after almost 300 years, appears pure and ready to forgive.

This movie touches the soul of all but the most ethnocentric of us to a depth not previously experienced.

El Cid (1961)

Fun but fake

[17 January 2000]

Not an iota of accuracy in either historical or legendary terms. Not even close to the "cantar del Cid" the spanish epic poem upon which the character is based.

Also historically incaccurate, in too may respects to mention... well, maybe one or two.

1- El Cid never killed his wife's father, since he was already married with kids when he was banished from Spain.

2- The Muslim leader never crossed the Mediterranean to fight in Spain. He only sent his troops.

3- El Cid lived long enough to see his daughtes married...

If you ignore (or don't know) the historical or literary issues, this is a great medieval action flick. Really.

Excalibur (1981)

just an update on King Arthur

[10/10 · 11 January 2000]

just in case anyone is interested, the actor who played King Arthur, Nigel Terry, was also in the excellent movie "the lion In Winter", about the succession battle between Henry II of England and Elenor of Aquitaine, the former wanting John to be king, the latter wanting Richard to be king. Yes!, John the landless (King John of the Magna Carta) and Richard plantagenet, (Richard Lionheart. The actor playing prince John is Nigel Terry, albeit, much younger. Other names-to-be, Anthony Hopkins as Richard, Timothy Dalton (James Bond #4)as Geoffrey, and the big guns, Peter O'Toole as Henry, and Katherine Hepburn as Elenor. Good flick, by the way.

Chariots of Fire (1981)

Engrossing and humbling

[19 May 1999]

'tis been said that this movie is loved or hated, no middle ground.

I believe I know why.

It touches the most fundamental instincts and feelings in all of us.

The question it compels us to ask is, "Do I have a piece of greatness to offer to the world"?

Those of us who would answer yes, whether we believe is achievable or not, would love this movie, because it epitomizes the potential of our dreams, not just in running, but in any walk of life.

Those of us who would answer no, would hate this movie, because it highlights our acceptance of mediocrity, and of surrendered dreams.

Also, this movie touches those who have succeeded also.

It shows that there are two ways to succeed, the one not shown in the movie, and the one shown.

The one not shown is the one that motivates most truly successful people today. win at any cost, in sports, business, etc. and the consequences be damned.

The way to succeed shown in Chariots of Fire is probably naive by today's standards, but nonetheless noble and uplifting.

It tells us that success achieved through dedication, commitment, honesty and sacrifice is the noblest achievement a person can attain, and provides examples for others to emulate.

Liddell and Abrahams are not examples for runners, they are examples for people, true heroes of the spirit, not sport.

An unforgettable phrase, a torch to some and a knife to others,

" So where does the power to succeed come from?... It comes from within"

Those of us who have it, love it, those of us who do not have it, hate it.

If I live to be 100, I will still have my dreams stirred back to life by the message in this film

First Knight (1995)

How should I put it.......BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD VERY BAAAAAAD

[18 May 1999]

The only reason I stayed to the end is because my wife had fallen asleep and didn't want to disturb her.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes ranks a few rungs above this one.

let's see...See through plot

Awful acting (Connery exepted)

No resemblance whatsoever to any existing version of the Arthurian legend

What else? ....Oh, yeah, did I say it was BAAAAAAAAD very BAAAAAD?

No discovery, no betrayal, no redemption, no hope, no mistery, no magic, nothing that makes the Arthurian story what it is, a lesson in the endurance of the human spirit and the eternal belief in the eventual triumph of good over evil.

But not on this movie. Here evil definitely triumphed. Just look at the result...

No, just a mindless process for getting Gere to take over for Connery (I refuse to use the character names,..it's blasphemy!)

Did I say it was BAAAAAAAAAAAAD very BAAAAAAAAAAD?

If you want to torture anyone with an IQ above their shoe size, force them to watch this movie twice. (three times may be fatal)

By the way, it was BAAAAAAAAAD very BAAAAAAAD!!

Excalibur (1981)

Transcendental

[10/10 · 12 May 1999]

Having read "the knights of the round table" as a child, and "Le Morte D'Artur" in old English as an adult, I have always been profoundly touched by this story of rise, fall, love, hate, betrayal and hope. As a result, I have developed an intense dislike for most pathetic attempts to put this story on film.

Excalibur is the first, and so far, the only film, in my opinion, to come very close to the brass ring.

First some ranting.

The early film with Cornel Wilde was a swashbuckling story, no more.

The Disney cartoon "sword in the stone" was one of the first in a long series of extremely offensive attempts to take inspirational and tragic stories and turn them into something banal.(Anastasia, The hunch Back of Notre Dame to name a couple)

First knight was perfect for displaying Richard Geere's lack of talent, and wasting a perfectly good actor (Connery). This ranks up there with "Plan nine from outer space"

Excalibur has put faces to the characters I read about. It infused them with personalities, and gave them life beyond the pages.

I was transposed by Merlin's magic on the mountain top, awakening the dragon. I felt a strange elation when Arthur drew the sword, one of the most meaningful and defining moments in literary, and now movie, history. I trembled and rejoiced when Arthur handed Excalibur to Uriens and was knighted. And my eyes welled up with tears when the ship took his body away to Avalon

And the music... That glorious music, never intrusive, but always suggestive and underlining the drama subtly.

After seeing this movie, anyone hearing Carl Orff Carmina Burana's Deres Luna will forever associate it with courage, rebirth sacrifice and redemption.

Anyone seeing this movie will be moved to believing that one day Arthur may indeed return to redeem us all. It tells us that hope never dies.

The Gumball Rally (1976)

Made me drool for the cars, and cheer for the antics

[12 May 1999]

This is the ultimate anti-Ralph Nader movie.

This movie should be must-see at driving schools, to show drivers-to-be the difference between pointing a car and actually DRIVING.

This movie truly has a sense of humor, as anyone who has owned a sports car can tell you.

From the classic "Lucas-the prince-of-darkness" electrical system of the Jaguar, to the (much cheered by us European car buffs) "corvette incident" (I do not want to give it away).

My favourite is, of course, the motorcyclist, who, if I recall correctly, does not say anything at all during the movie, but steals the show when he is on.

Great fun and several levels above the later copycat "Cannonball Run" series.

Particularly liked by good drivers with a sense of humour.