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Reviews
Dave Chappelle: For What It's Worth (2004)
Worth a lot
I saw Dave Chappelle's stand-up act in college a few years ago. At the time, he was known by fans of Half Baked and Robin Hood: Men in Tights, but not very many others. In fact, he was co-billed with Jim Breuer. Two years later, his Comedy Central show made him one of the most famous comedians in America, but For What It's Worth proves that he is as funny on stage as ever. It also provides a few flashes of insight into the events that brought a sudden end to Chappelle's Show after only two seasons, as Chappelle talks skeptically about celebrity status a number of times and tells a story about fans "Rick James, bitch!" at him in public. But psychoanalyzing Chappelle would probably distract people from really enjoying the comedy, and the comedian's personal issues aside, this is 50+ minutes of very funny stuff.
JFK (1991)
If You Like Conspiracy Theories...
And not the facts, you'll love this film. Stone borrows allegations from several prominent theorists and presents them as if they are unimpeachably true. He also makes up things of his own and throws them in, and you don't know who made up what. The problem, to me, is that this film is presented as a historical movie. You expect some errors and dramatic license in those, and those do exist. But Stone takes the time (3 hours) and style to make JFK seem like a carefully reconstructed docudrama, which it's not. The "100 Errors in JFK" page aside, there are numerous errors in logic made by Stone, and the fictions stand next to the facts.
That's my big problem with the film: not that it pushes theories that are totally false, which it does, but that it relies on the ignorance of its audience to get by. If conspiracy theories weren't so much more popular than the truth, I think a lot of people would have been unable to stomach the way Stone attacks dead people who are innocent but unable to defend themselves, like Clay Shaw and David Ferrie. I found myself disgusted by the way they were treated in the film. They're not fictional characters, they were real people, and Stone is making a buck off the fact that millions of people have been fooled into thinking they murdered John F. Kennedy. Most of that fooling was done by Jim Garrison and his whacko crusade, and by guys like Fletcher Prouty, who were heavily involved with the film. Garrison isn't a hero, and he doesn't deserve the treatment he gets either. I wish I could evaluate the film more on its own merits- it's dramatic, if overlong. I enjoyed Donald Sutherland's scenes despite my disagreement with their point. As a film, it's a mixed bag, with some strong points and some weak ones. As history, it's worse than bad, it's outright dishonest.
Bowling for Columbine (2002)
Stunning and Shocking, Deeply Necessary
I've seen many great movies, but Bowling for Columbine may be the first film I can honestly say I think everyone should see. To some members of any given audience, it will likely be life-changing.
Moore takes on a difficult and controversial subject: America's love affair with the gun. He not only discusses (and shows with footage that would leave anyone shaken) tragic school shootings like the ones at Columbine High School, he examines why America is so unique in its shockingly high number of gun murders (over 11,000 per year). The reason he uncovers -- that it's not video games, TV, music, the breakdown of the family, poverty, unemployment, or even gun prevalence -- is ingenious and spot-on.
Though the focus also includes other subjects, like America's history of violence with the rest of the world and the world's perception of Americans, the movie never feels like a sociology paper. Moore's humor is as provocative as ever, if not more than ever, and much of it is damn funny. Even some of the parts that are downright disturbing get laughs. For example, John Nichols (the brother of Terry Nichols and longtime friend of Timothy McVeigh) -- a man who was involved in the Oklahoma City bomb plot -- is funny even as he frightens us with his views on why guns are necessary; he sleeps with a loaded .44 Magnum under his pillow.
The insights the film provides into the history of the NRA (of which Moore is a longtime member) are also eerie and enlightening. Quite noteworthy is Charlton Heston's explanation of why America suffers from so much more gun violence than Britain or Australia or Canada. The answer is simply too good for me to spoil here.
See this movie. You'll laugh and quite likely cry as well (and you may feel the urge to vomit at times), but you'll go home far more educated and aware of the realities of one of the great social problems in American history.
Penn & Teller Get Killed (1989)
Subversive, Twisted Fun
Penn and Teller Get Killed isn't what you'd call a triumph of skilled film-making. The primary function of the movie is to allow Penn and Teller to perform their routines and display their trademark style -- a style that has as much to do with their attitudes as it does their 'magic.' If you like them, you'll like the movie; if not, you probably won't.
That said, the plot is interesting enough, and the film is not JUST a vehicle. The film itself really does reflect their twisted sensibility, and that may be its strongest point -- it's not just "Penn and Teller do some magic with a plot pasted on." It's really what you'd expect if someone allowed these two to make a movie. (The ending, in particular, is one of the strangest I've ever seen.) The film is perfectly Penn and Teller: it gets inside your head, twists things around, breaks some stuff, and leaves with a smile as you try and figure out what to do with the mess.
Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness? (1969)
Oh, The Pain! The Pain!!
When 'friends' dragged me to Spice World a few years back, I was convinced I'd never see anything worse. Sadly, I've been proven wrong. This is the most torturous, pretentious, incompetent mess of a movie I have ever seen. Don't believe the reviews that suggest this film is visionary or a classic. The songs are ridiculous: the groans at the beginning of each one were deafening. The "Piccadilly Lily" song must have been done 15 times. There is nothing visionary (or even mildly interesting) here, only a long string of poorly-done Fellini ripoffs -- actually, that's the whole movie. It was like a train wreck. This was by far the longest hour and 45 minutes of my life. The movie made me long for death. My fellow audience members screamed and screamed as minute after endless minute and song after horrible song beat us into the ground. People were pleading for other audience members to kill them. Other kind-hearted viewers tried to distract the crowd by juggling and reading Moby Dick. Some, like myself, simply attacked the screen. Watching this self-obsessed piece of garbage was like having sharp nails scraped along the chalkboard of our souls. I can understand why one other poster joined the Navy after seeing this movie, and also why the Navy showed it: it destroys your soul and leaves you with a desire to kill everything on earth. I am very opposed to capital punishment, but better to be put to death than live 2 hours to watch this movie: it shows that people have a seemingly endless capactiy for torturing each other. The dialogue is terrible, and the movie is so VERY talky. There is virtually no action aside from singing and lusting. Mostly, Merkin is reflecting on his life and what an amazing genius he is -- we can only wonder in horror at what period of human history would regard the man as anything but an egomaniac who should never have been allowed near a stage or a camera. As one character comments of the film Merkin is making (the movie is best described as a cross between "8 1/2" and "Lolita" made by Andrew Lloyd-Webber loving monkeys on LSD), "It's the end of Western Civilization!" We couldn't agree more: after being subjected to Hieronymous Merkin, I no longer fear hell.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988)
A Brief Critical Analysis of the Lasting Socio-Psychological Import of the Television Programme Known as "Mystery Science Theatre 3000"
Ever since one Mr. Thomas Edison invented the motion picture as we know it today, there have been bad movies. The creation of the 'talkie' only made things worse, opening the floodgates for hordes of awful writers and magnifying the faults of bad actors. The only defense against this constant onslaught of mass-produced idiocy? Ridicule. Yes, making fun of the movie; sarcasm as self-defense. But while people had been making fun of bad movies for ages, it was Mystery Science Theatre 3000 that elevated it to an art form. Thanks to Joel, Mike and company, a terrible movie can now be (in its own way) more fun than a good one. Incorrigible smart-alecks like myself are no longer constantly elbowed and told to shut up when we notice that a movie is awful. Well, not as much. The "No Talking" signs in movie houses have become totally meaningless (though the invention of the cell phone played a part in this as well). Being a pop-culture junkie is no longer the earmark of a loser: any and all useless knowledge of movies, TV and music can know be used as ammunition to combat the "Manos: The Hands of Fate"s of the world. Okay, there's absolutely no way to combat Manos, but any other movie is now safe for public consumption. It's true that the show itself may have become a bit stale in its last years; the host segments certainly seemed to lose their sting as the cast continued to change. The 'plot' behind the imprisonment of Mike, Crow and Tom Servo on the Satellite of Love became increasingly twisted and confusing, but that was never really the important thing. What mattered were the gags, the hard work and dedication that went into the week-long process of watching a bad movie over and over to unearth the proper way to mock it really showed on air. And it was this work ethic -- the unfailing desire to get it all just right, to make it as funny as it could possibly be -- that would inspire countless viewers for the show's eleven-year run, and untold decades afterwards. Hollywood has given us lots of garbage over the years, and now, thanks to these pioneers, we have a way to fight back. Viva La Revolucion!
Tenchi Muyô! In Love 2: Haruka naru omoi (1999)
Excellent
I was personally attached to the Tenchi Muyo! series more than any other television show I've ever seen. The characters, personality-wise, really reminded me of my friends, so it was like I knew them. I suppose that makes me biased. To indicate how biased I am (for the sake of the reader), I will tell you that I cried my eyes out over the credits at the thought that the series was truly over. But back to the critical side of things. I gave this movie a 9. I liked the animation in Tenchi Muyo! in Love 1 the best, and this one was drawn more like the Shin-Tenchi series. It was still beautiful animation, with flowers again being the dominant symbols. The only real differences occurred when the characters were seen up close. That's about all I can say negatively about the movie. On the positive side: I'm a huge Ryoko fan, and this was her movie, so I really liked that. She catches a lot of heat because of her bad points throughout the series, and I liked seeing her determination and her love for Tenchi show through. (For more of that, see Universe episode Number 24, "No Need for Ryoko. Also one of my faves.) I was very sad to hear that this was the last Tenchi movie; in a way, I almost didn't want to see it. But it certainly didn't ruin my memories of the series -- though I doubt that would have been possible. I really think the first movie was the best of the lot, but it wasn't by much, and so I gave this one an equal rating. Thanks for the memories, gang!
Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)
Teaching Mrs. Dreadful
Sorry for any spoilers that this contains. But if you want to read on anyway: I really wonder why so many people are so high on Kevin Williamson. Let's just take a quick look at his work as a screenwriter, shall we? There's Scream 1 and 2 (plus the story for the next one), which I think are pretty funny but very overrated. Besides, by making Scream into a franchise, it ceased to become a parody of horror movies and simply became another one. Then there's I Know What You Did Last Summer, which is essentially the same movie again. He co-wrote Halloween: H20, but even he had the sense not to take credit for what he did on that monstrosity. Then comes The Faculty, which I can only say was god-awful. (Lots of fun to make fun of, though). Don't even get me started on the ridiculous, soap-operatic Dawson's Creek, I could rail about how bad that is for hours. So then we get to Teaching Mrs. Tingle. First of all, there are tons of little implausibilities in this one. For example: in most high schools that I know of, the valedictorian is NOT the only one who gets to go to college! This idea that Katie Holmes's character would never go anywhere unless she was valedictorian was absurd. Haven't you ever heard of financial assistance, damn it!? Also, I don't think you get expelled from high school or don't get into college because of cheating on one test. There are a bunch of other ones, but I'll skip to the big one now. The ending really bothered me: they committed a crime, but it was ok because the teacher was a bitch. Great. Do you know how many of my teachers I could kidnap based on that logic? I'm sure the police never took any statements to find out the whole story, either. That sure wouldn't be necessary. Helen Mirren was good, she added some nice flair to a character who (as a previous commenter noted) had NO reason for anything she did. And has anyone else noticed that Katie Holmes absolutely can't act? Her self-righteousness became incredibly annoying. "You wanted me to fail. Blah blah blah." Her last two scenes with Mrs. Tingle were the worst. The only reason I don't regret losing $8.25 on this disaster is because she got beaten up a bit. No, wait, I do regret losing the money: it wasn't real, and she survived. Mr. Williamson, if you're reading this, you've made the same movie (some violence and/or scary stuff offset by wise-ass kids who make sarcastic jokes and references to other movies) just a FEW too many times now (I count 6 so for, not including Scream 3 and whatever follows it), and I would really appreciate it if you would stop. Otherwise, I might just have to kidnap you and threaten YOU with a crossbow. Ok? :-)
Titanic (1997)
Greatest ever? Tell me another one.
This movie might well be the most over-rated film of all time. It had a few good points -- foremost among which was the cinematography -- but these were overshadowed by the shortcomings of the movie and the ludicrous hype that surrounded it. The film is full of stock characters, with the stereotypical and cliched Jack and Rose being the most prominent examples. The entire movie was as predictable as the boat sinking at the end. The dialogue is sub-par, to say the least. The movie drags on and on forever. The scenes in the present, for example, were totally superfluous. I remember watching the boat leave dock and staring at my watch, not believing that I'd only been there for half an hour. And then the movie, like the boat, just kept going. After the ship hits the iceberg, the movie improves -- it doesn't have time to waste, so it can't waste it. Even here, though, there were just a few too many last-minute rescues for my taste. This movie tries to attain the epic quality of "Gone with the Wind," but it simply can't do it. It has very little substance, and lacks the art of that film -- an actual classic. If "Gone with the Wind" is a bit soap-operatic -- a fair criticism, I think -- then sitting through "Titanic" is like sitting through all 20 years of "As the World Turns" in one sitting. It is not an epic, it is simply long -- too long, and pretentious. This is the ultimate Hollywood movie in that it has so little too offer, and yet somehow it cleaned up at the Oscars, wins all kinds of undue praise, and heap money on it until it becomes the highest-grossing movie ever. I hope that, box-office records aside, this movie does not remain famous, or keep this silly reputation of being a classic. It does not have the quality of any of the great films it is often compared to. It is big-budget fluff. One final point: on the voting scale, I gave this movie a "1." And I will be honest: it is not quite that bad. It could be "2" or even "3" material. But the way some people talk about this movie absolutely drives me crazy. It is not a great love story, it simply imitates a lot of other ones. It is a product. It is a huge studio production without very much heart or brains behind it. I find it very sad the way this movie (and its male star, who at this very moment is trying to trademark his name) have been made into such golden calves. "Titanic" exemplifies the era of big-budget fluff that present-day movie-fans have to deal with. Once people stop buying into movies like this, actual quality may return to film. I only hope that that day comes soon.
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Amazing. Absolutely amazing.
This movie may well be Stanley Kubrick's best. Like his other movies -- maybe even more so -- this one is a diamond, and Kubrick wore the jeweler's glass. Every facet, every detail seems to have been considered and carefully calculated. The colors and the sets -- both of which are incredible -- stand out in this regard. Each one means something and expresses it. The score is the same way -- to me, it surpasses even the Psycho score in its contribution to the more frightening moments of the movie. Towards the end of the film -- at the climax, in fact, when I should have been used to it -- I jumped at those piano shrieks. Twice. When this movie decided to be scary, it was the most scary and disturbing movie I have ever seen. The sex in this movie -- though I think it is a study of sex -- is of secondary note. This is not a porno, and the sex in it is not steamy or sexual. Most of it is downright eerie. If this movie does not win at least two Oscars -- Best Picture and Best Director (neither of which a Kubrick film has ever won, much to my astonishment) -- I will never pay attention to the academy again, because this will be final proof that it has no taste. Also, I have learned two things about the censoring of this picture: (1) Kubrick realized that he would have to add the digital characters to get an R rating, and planned to do so. Though they were added after he died, it was according to his wishes, and (2) I didn't even notice the digitally added characters. They affected the movie or the scene in no way at all. Though the MPAA are Puritannical Retards, and I am disappointed that I live in the only country in the world that made him add these things, even the MPAA could not damage Kubrick's work. Besides, I am sure that an NC-17 version will at least come out on video, and that will settle that. This final film -- most aptly described by Janet Maslin as "haunting" -- gets an 11 from me. Kubrick was entirely in a class by himself. The film is forever diminished by his loss, but at least he left us with a collection of movies to watch in awe forever. Eyes Wide Shut is definitely a worthy addition to this collection. Thank you, Stanley.
A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999)
Bravo!
This was one of the better Shakespeare movies I have seen, and I am a HUGE Shakespeare fan. It beats the hell out of MTV's Romeo and Juliet, for example. Michael Hoffman's direction was excellent, he added some wonderful little touches to the show (especially in the Pyramus and Thisbe part), and brought out the fact that this play is REALLY funny -- something people often miss with Shakespeare. The visuals were very nice, the sets and costumes were perfect. The acting was excellent, especially Stanley Tucci, who was a lot of fun as Robin Goodfellow, and Kevin Kline is still absolutely the man. He was stunning. I really hope he gets an Oscar nomination for Best Actor for this part. His speech about his 'dream' brought out a huge level of depth in it that I had missed when I read it because of its humor. I hope Mr. Hoffman does more Shakespeare movies in the future.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
The Force is Back
As a long-time Star Wars fan, this movie had been the center of my attention for quite a while. I feel I should add that George Lucas is the man for releasing this film on my birthday. That aside, I am very happy with this film. Of the original three films, it reminds me the most of Episode IV. It was more of an adventure movie than the previous ones. My one complaint is that it was a little too directed at the kids for my taste. I think that this film just would have been better without all the Jar-Jar stuff and the other silliness, which distracted from the good points of the movie: some great visuals, top-notch performances from Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, and Natalie Portman, and the events that will be important in the next two movies. Still, I expect that those problems will go away with the next two movies. This movie left possibilities for the next two, many of them intriguing. I can very easily see how Obi-Wan (probably my favorite character in the whole saga) became who he is in Episodes IV, V and VI, and how he was rash enough to lose Anakin to the Dark Side along the way. I look forward to seeing how he -- and all of the major players -- develop.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Unbelievable; visionary
I have seen 2001 all of twice now, but I will never cease to marvel at what an astounding accomplishment it is. I have never seen a film with such amazing vision. Everything in it seems so incredibly well and completely though out. Kubrick is, no question, the bravest director I've ever seen. What other director would have an overture, intermission, entre'acte and exit music now? The space sequences are truly silent, whereas Armageddon, for example, fills it with useless noise. It gives the real feeling of a void, a vacuum, of emptiness and infinity itself. 2001 is a visual opera. It tests the limits of cinema and the very imagination. I have never seen another movie that required real existential discussion afterwards. This movie, though it is over 30 years old, has the greatest special effects of any ever. The ending sequence may be the greatest 20 minutes ever captured on film. The title is perfect: "Jupiter and Beyond the Infinite." How it was done is beyond me. How Kubrick could have ever even imagined it is totally beyond me. I would say right now that this is the greatest film I have ever seen. It is a masterpiece. The film world is immeasurably poorer without Kubrick, but it owes him an eternal debt.