colossus-4 Reviews

Phantom of the Paradise (1974)

The Faust Myth meets the Phantom of the Opera 70s style

[16 May 1999]

This is a weird film.

Only in the 70s could it have been made.

If you were there and you missed it. Get it. At least for a night.

If you let it, it will infect you. It's like Rocky Horror without the lame Trench-coat Mafia leanings. It's pure Paul Williams. Do you remember "That's the hell of it!" from the Hardy Boys Halloween episode. That's from this movie. So see it.

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957)

Enough already!

[12 March 1999]

I was one of the first of my generation to appreciate Plan 9. In 1974 I was begging my friends to come over for a Plan 9 party when it appeared, as it usually did, on one of our syndicate stations. I've watched it grow in popularity until it reached the silver screen, in "ED WOOD." And I've read these reviews and all seem to settle on certain points as the worst. "Your stupid minds, stupid...Stupid!" is a favorite. The wobbly tombstones. The bad dialogue delivered so badly-Criswell. And I agree. But if you really want to enjoy this film again (after beating it to death) read the Ed Wood Jr. biography "Nightmare of Ecstasy." You'll thank me. Not only will it make you aware of other Ed Wood treasure's but you'll hear, in their own words, the stars, backers, and friends of Ed Wood explain how such a phenomenon came to exist. The film Ed Wood was based on this book (loosely.) You'll love it. A hint, the best Ed Wood dialogue is from "Orgy of the Dead"(Something Weird Video.) Just some friendly advice.

Amazing World of Ghosts (1978)

Steering you right. Away from this "film"

[1/10 · 11 March 1999]

Sounds like a cool documentary. Ghosts, huh? Tell me more. Well, forget it Pal! Lotsa luck!

I should explain, if you don't know already, The Amazing World of Ghosts is a con job. The cheapest film ever made. In fact no film was even shot for this "movie." The "director" simply seems to have bought a stack of old reels of celluloid from a swapmeet, containing nasa animation, street scenes, and meandering footage of the sun and sky, and un-cleverly editing it into a frighteningly boring melange which stretches one's incredulousness to new levels. On top of the visual inside joke (which it must be) a narrator blathers on about things "speculative and mysterious." The fractured and inane narrative is actually quite hilarious at first, unintentionally(?), and then becomes positively infuriating. It quickly starts making no sense and goes on and on for what seems like over an hour. In reality it is well over and hour, and the challenge of "The Amazing World of Ghosts" is not to gain an insight into existence but to try not to pull it out of the VCR and hurl it at the ground after the first twenty minutes.

If the IMDb folks think this is just some scathing comment without merit, ask around. Not only is this film nauseating but it's insulting. Check out the scene with the black folks dancing on the street to a calypso band. The narrative over that scene is the stuff that law suits are made of.

You will actually feel your mind slipping into away as you watch "The Amazing World of Ghosts." They made another one which is not credited on IMDb, but I don't remember the name. I will ask the experts.

The Alien Factor (1978)

Thank you Don Dohler for this gem.

[1/10 · 11 March 1999]

My wife recently purchased a set of five videos called the "Alien Collection and we watched a few of them and almost yawned to death. And then, while I was out, she watched "The Alien Factor" and informed me that she had found a gem. We've watched it ourselves and with friends 3 or 4 times now. I thought I'd seen all the "Z" movies ever made. I didn't know the half of it.

The Alien factor features the worst delivery of dialogue since "Plan 9 from Outer Space," or maybe "Legend of Boggy Creek." If you like either of those you'll love this. And now I've discovered that they made a sequel (thanks to IMDb). I'm gonna find it and it better be as bad as Alien Factor or I'll return it.

Kenny & Company (1976)

A must see for 70's kids

[10/10 · 11 March 1999]

This film is a must see for anyone who was around 10-15 years old in 1976. Kenny and Co. doesn't miss a trick in depicting the life of a seventh-grader, his friends and enemies. Prank phone calls, over-sized school bullies, Halloween hijinks and fickle first loves, it's all here.

The director unknowingly created a time capsule of such realism that Kenny is more enjoyable now than it ever was when it was made. Best of all it doesn't try to ram some big morality trip down your throat. It just documents. And unlike in "Stand by Me," the kids actually act like kids not philosophers. If there's any point at all to the story it's that the genius of kids is their unique ability to survive the banality and meanness of existence through a combination of devilish humor and harmless civil unrest.

I started breaking this film out at parties and now I get requests for it. Kenny and Co. is better the second and third times.

The Asphyx (1972)

A "playing God" scenario with a difference. remastered DVD now available.

[10/10 · 11 March 1999]

The Asphyx, now readily available on DVD, is a Sci-Fi classic. Its long awaited arrival was worth the wait. The moldering Pan-and-Scan version which was a staple of syndicated Chiller-type programming throughout the Seventies and early Eighties has been totally remastered and is presented in its original aspect ratio.

Set in late Victorian rural England. Sir Hugo Cunningham becomes obsessed with the possibility of becoming immortal after discovering the Asphyx, or Spirit of Death, which seeks out the dying and finds release in them, killing them at once. An, at times, melodramatic cast are quickly drawn into Hugo's experiments, to their misfortune, and his. A "playing God" scenario, with a difference.

Beautifully photographed and very original. I hope many of you will re-remember this film and seek it out. It deserves a fresh audience.

In the Year 2889 (1969 TV Movie)

A bad movie lover's treasure. They don't make 'em like that anymore

[1/10 · 11 March 1999]

2889 used to appear regularly on one of our local syndicates in the Seventies. Those who need their memories' jogged will perhaps remember the image of the mutated monster with snow white clown hair and piranha-like pearly whites stalked the woods in search of sustenance (raw meat).

Summary:

It is 1966, title notwithstanding.

A motley band of survivors of a nuclear holocaust struggle to keep from killing/kissing one another faced with a shortage of food, fresh water and alcohol. Captain John, an retired navy officer, and survivalist's valley home is situated as to be fall-out resistant. With food enough for he and his daughter, an unwelcomed crew of interlopers threaten the Captain's post-apocalyptic paradise. A stripper and her manager/boyfriend, an athletic (though chain-smoking) heart-throb and his radioactive brother, and a perpetually sweat-drenched drunk round out the cast of stragglers.

The threat of irradiated rain, mutated humans and animals, and man's inhumanity fail to raise an ounce of horror or suspense in the year 2889. But they do get big laughs.

I doubt a print still exists of this forgotten "Z movie." I'm not sure whether to give "In the Year 2889" a 1 or a 10. As a comedy, like "Plan 9" it is quite an effort. As a drama, which is I suppose what it was meant to be, well, you know. They don't make 'em like this anymore that's for certain Though, I must admit, after seeing the Alien Factor (1977) I'm not too sure.